Sakura sagged into her office chair and took another drag from her cigarette, it made up a lot of her appetite recently- cigarettes and soldier pills. She had trouble keeping anything else down- everything she ate came out with much more force than than she would put it in. She checked her watch and saw she had half an hour till her next surgery, she quickly also noticed that her hands used to shake a lot these days- uncharacteristic for a surgeon but she didn't really care about being the perfect surgeon anymore because she had already proved her self infront of anyone.
Everything had gone downhill after the war. Quite the opposite of what she imagined would have happened, she couldn't sleep anymore even if she wanted to. On the rare occasion she could sleep, the nightmares of the war would come back all the people who died, all the people she couldn't save. She would spend most of her time in the hospital. Her house felt too quiet- She hadn't told anyone but her parents had died in the war too- they were civillians but they volunteered to help in the Ninja Alliance HQ and had perished when the 10 tails had bombed the place. Every second she spent in the house would remind her just how empty the house was... just how empty she was. Her friends had not really been much help either- Ino still mourned her father and Sakura felt it was better just to give her some space right now, Naruto was still sunny as ever but Sakura could not find it in herself to stay happy, even though she always wore a fake smile on the outside she just couldn't muster up enough energy to even stay happy.
She just felt so tired all the time, so exhausted and so goddamn empty. She spent as much time as she could at the hospital fixing people in the hope that it would just fill her up inside but it didn't help at all. One day when she was so exhausted that Tsunade literally barred her from entering the hospital she was asked to go to Ichiraku with Naruto, and seeing as she had nothing else to do she agreed. Now she wished she hadn't... She SO wishes she hadn't because HE was there.
Sakura poked at her own ramen as she saw Naruto chatting, she was happy that he was filling up the silence because she didn't really have anything to speak about and there was no way Sasuke was speaking. She put a few strands of noodles but it instantly recoiled back into her stomach, she forcibly swallowed it back but when she looked back into the bowl all she could see was human entrails and organs, floating around in bile and mucus. Sakura suddenly got up from her seat startling Naruto.
"Sakura-chan? What happened? You haven't even touched your ramen."
"Sorry Naruto I forgot something I had to do... See you later."
"W-wait Sakura-ch-"
Suddenly Sakura disappeared in puff of smoke.
"Teme, I'll go find her you can go home." Naruto got up placing enough money for Sakura and his ramen.
"No dobe... I'll go see her- this is something I can do better." Sasuke declared before paying and disappearing too.
"Whats going on with her?" Naruto mused as he ate his ramen.
Sasuke found Sakura hunched over her balcony in her house, her house was completely dark, as if illuminating the house would make her see all the things that could remind her of 'them'. Ofcourse Sasuke knew about all this first hand.
"Why are you here Sasuke?"
Sakura's tone was annoyed and beyond broken sound. Her voice was hoarse- but he knew she wasn't crying, because crying meant feeling sad and when all this happens to someone- they can't feel anymore just feel numb. And he knew better than anyone what she was feeling right now.
"I don't know myself." Sasuke spoke honestly. The time after the war when everyone had accepted him back into the village, he didn't know why he was here anymore- All his life he had a purpose but now he had none.
"I'm fine, so you can just go and tell Naruto not to worry."
"And you think I don't worry because?"
Sakura let out a bitter laugh.
"If you had worried maybe you would have shown your face in the past months, maybe you would've have talked to me. Do you really expect me to think you care." Sakura gritted her teeth.
"You have been to your yamanaka friend how many times since the war?" Sasuke asked.
Sakura immediately averted her gaze to the ground as unbelievable amount of guilt encompassed her.
"I know about them Sakura."
"Know about who."
"You know exactly who."
"How?"
"The tombstones. Two harunos."
Sakura broke down, of all the people she though she would tell first Sasuke was not at all in the list. She felt large arms encompass her small frame as she leaned into him desperate for any sort of warmth, any sort of reassurance.
"Sakura... I know better than anyone about how you feel right now. And you should listen to this advice, let your friends help you. Ignoring everything and acting like everything will become okay won't help."
Sakura's sobs became more audible as a thunder crackled outside the balcony 'what perfect weather.' Sasuke thought.
"I-I try to forget about it... B-but I can't Sasuke-kun. All those people who I couldn't save. All those people who died."
"I felt the same way Sakura. But You ,Naruto and Kakashi helped me. Let me help you Sakura."
Sasuke felt Sakura worm closer to him.
"Why Sakura? Why didn't you tell us about your parents."
"All of you have gone through so much worse than me... I thought you guys would think I am weak."
"You REALLY are annoying you know that."
Sakura gave a small watery laugh
"Just because we all faced losses doesn't mean your loss has any less meaning."
"I am so tired Sasuke-kun... Just so goddamn tired."
"Just rest for now Sakura. For being a medic you should know about being healthy- lay off the hospital for a while. And don't hide these things anymore, try to go to a therapist or something- atleast talk to us Sakura."
"I-I am sorry, please don't leave."
Sasuke smirked and picked Sakura up and laid her down on the bed.
"Who said anything about leaving?"
"No. Don't go. Stay with me tonight."
Sasuke put her under covers and kneeled down next to her.
"I will be here alright. Now rest."
"Sasuke-kun. I meant it you know."
Sasuke cocked an eyebrow.
"meant what?"
"On the day you were leaving, I said I love you. I still do."
Sasuke smirked and poked Sakura's head.
"I know. And I also meant it."
Now Sakura was confused.
"Meant what?"
Sasuke kissed her forehead.
"Thank you... for everything."
Sakura's eyes burned with tears, she closed them and held onto Sasuke's hands.
"Sakura It is not okay to stay in the same house when you clearly have too many memories attached to it. Too many reminders. Tomorrow pack your things and move into my house."
"Thank you."
"Hn. Now scoot I need to sleep too, annoying woman."
A/N- Thanks for reading. PTSD and depression are serious issues, I wanted to write this story to talk about it through these charecters. IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS LIKE DEPRESSION SEEK HELP, DON'T HIDE IT FROM LOVED ONES.
Please review :)