Initial A/N:
This is a mirror, I originally posted this on ao3, as I reupload there will probably be a length of time where this version of the fic is not as up to date as the ao3 version which was created first.
Art in the thumbnail was drawn by anxiousfizzy
Qui, quem and cuius (Ancom's pronouns) all come from Latin.
Human Names:
LibLeft: Jay
LibRight: Jack
AuthLeft: Joseph
AuthRight: James
Instructions for Final Ideological Examination (aka. 'The Navigator'):
No Talking. No Communication Devices.
Any attempt to influence the result of another participant will be met by permeant exclusion.
Keep your headphones on and eyes on the screen.
Answer completely and totally honest. Though it is incredibly hard to cheat on this test, you WILL be caught if you do.
Once the test has started, you will have SIXTY MINUTES to every question.
Ideologies don't get their powers until they turn fifteen.
Up until then, they were all the same. They looked just like apolitical centrists, no distinct colours, they were exactly alike. All of them had names too, actual names. But after everyone had taken 'The Navigator', they were only allowed to ever use their Ideology names. There was the legend that you would immediately forget your own, old name once the test was taken.
Not just that, but there was also a chance that you could lose your friends, family and aspects of your self-concept within just an hour all because of 'The Navigator'.
Nowadays, 'The Navigator' was taken on a computer, but it seemed to have existed in the World of Ideas forever – that's what everyone was told anyway and that it would force you to tell the truth, regardless of who you were. Everyone was also told that refusing to take 'The Navigator' and thus, actually have their powers recognise and manifest, would kill you. All that 'undiscovered energy' eating you up inside. You'd just fade away into nothing!
It was a right of passage, but also an unavoidable risk.
Most people didn't worry. They weren't afraid of 'Ideology Adulthood' as it might have been interpreted. Most of them already knew their results before they took 'The Navigator' and had already started mentally preparing for how they would end up. At least sixty per cent of young Ideologies would end up the same as their parents, and then a good percentage more would at least end up in the same 'quadrant' as their parents. There were always outliers, however, and some of those outliers didn't even know that their thoughts were so 'different' to what they were supposed to be.
Many were also excited to 'receive their colour' meaning their powers and charge that would guide them through the world. Regardless of what those powers were.
Unless you were confirmed to be a centrist by 'The Navigator' your life was guaranteed to change, drastically but that's just why Ideologies went to 'school' in the first place. They knew what they were, but they didn't know how to be it.
Places that were such a far off mystery to the young centrists that attended 'Ideology' school were the four most distant corners which you were only permitted to enter once you had received your colour. This was where the most extreme of Ideologies practised their craft, places that were used to strike fear into the small, unaligned centrists who didn't know who they were yet. The other place that retained a sense of mystery, and also a sense of fear, was the dead centre of the school.
Almost only the (centrist) teachers went back and forth from there. It was understood as a hatch – a long descending corridor that lead underground. Many of the youngsters speculated that this where 'The Navigator' was taken.
It was exactly halfway through the Ideologue Calendar, and a group of centrists were descending.
"Did your Dad really give you that hat as a gift?" Jay pulled down the brim of the fedora over Jack's face, causing him to scoff and Jay to laugh.
"Hey, lay off it! He meant it as a joke." Jack folded his arms and looked down as he wandered down the staircase.
"Stop teasing him, Jay. He's just as scared as the rest of us." An astute young man stepped out from behind Jay and placed his and on cuius shoulder. Their difference in height, making it shocking that they were even in the same class.
"Oh come on, you're really scared about this Joseph?" Jay suggested playfully.
"Why wouldn't I be? Aren't you just making things worse for yourself, acting like that?" Joseph took his shoulder off of Jay and tried to pass quem on the stairs.
"Why would I be making anything worse now? I already know what's going to happen."
"Well, good for you! Some of us don't get that luxury!" Jack looked up for a brief second into Jay's face, before groaning and stomping down the stairs to get away from the two of them.
Jay and Joseph looked back at one another and then back down at Jack, who was already fading as he travelled down the dimly lit staircase.
It was slightly worrying to Joseph, seeing Jack so on edge like this. He had always seemed to him like a more tense kind of person, even getting worked up about pop quizzes – he must have been dreading this for weeks. If his observations were correct, then Jack hadn't spoken to anyone, not even in his school class, for weeks. Joseph felt even worse, knowing that his parents were teasing him behind his back, and even that Jay was playing along.
"God, he's always complaining, I would hate to be that weak." Jay stepped aside as James attempted to push quem out the way as he was coming down the stairs.
James smiled at the two friends as he joined them on the same point of the staircase. "So, are you ready for this, you two?"
"Could never be more ready!" Replied Jay, tugging on Joseph's coat.
"Aaah, yes, yes, we can't wait – can we Jay?"
"No, not at all."
"Heh, good to see I'm not just in a class with a bunch of total losers. I'm gonna do so many things when I finally become a proper Ideology." James tore his head away and smirked to himself.
Joseph was slightly taken aback by the sudden arrival of James. James, who would only talk to anyone in order to tease them. He was the class bully, sort of, he didn't have a particular person that he picked on he just kinda picked on anyone. He had mentioned at some point that he was just 'testing the waters to see who was strong and who was weak' but honestly, he was just blind to how much of an asshole he was.
"What things are you exactly planning on doing, James?" Jay taunted him softly while Joseph felt the urge to pull Jay closer.
James bobbed his head back and forth. "Well, that's something I can't really tell."
"I thought centrists had barley any powers anyway?" Joseph folded his arms.
"Pft." James stomped his foot against the step. "You'll see, I'll scare away those petty leftists getting near the Overton Window. I don't want to destroy the thing. I'm not fucking chaotic like someone's parents. I just don't want to see it pulled so far from the right like it is, and my parents agree. They believe in me."
Jay groaned, but qui knew that James was kind of right.
"They believe in you, huh?" Joseph raised an eye-brow.
James walked down another two steps, his face barely becoming visible as the soft shadows covered it. "One-hundred per cent. You're gonna bet this will increase my grades too, the centrists getting to finally see that I'm one of them. Have fun being treated like trash for the rest of your school years, Jay. You know what those headmasters are like, best part is, you'll deserve it."
"Hey! You – they…"
"Oh, you know it's true, Jay. They don't care what happens to the 'extremists' in this place. Why do you think they section them off? It's because you're shitty and you should feel like shit. Best part is, you can't help it. Designated second class citizen."
As Joseph kept Jay close to him, he could feel Jay tense up and rattle. Qui was probably holding back, hitting James around the head.
James was the kinda guy who would find something that is target was sensitive about in order to get the most' rise' out of them. For Jay, it was the fact that cuius entire family were Anarcho-Communists.
Not just that, almost all people had who were destined to become Ideologies would have two parents who matched in their Ideology, it was also the fact that Jay was really happy with that.
Despite Jay's total lack of colour, it was obvious to most people what Ideology Jay would eventually be in the future, and that didn't just come from the environment that qui grew up in. Cuius mannerisms, beliefs, reactions, heck even how cuius personality traits marked quem out as an 'Ancom'. Naturally, people were a little uneasy around quem, but the teachers didn't show any biases. Even though it was evidently clear what Jay was going to grow into, on the outside, he was still a powerless apolitical entity, possessing none of the physical traits of an actual 'Ancom' but that wouldn't last for long.
Jay was about to become a proper Ancom, and for the most part, qui was ready for it. The fact the centrists (aka the bulk of society) didn't approve of quem never bothered quem that much, well, not unless James was trying to exploit it to piss quem off.
"Anyhow, later losers, can't wait to throw you both out of class, especially you, Jay."
Jay started to growl. Joseph pat cuius back, hoping to calm quem down. James continued down the stairs, smirking pleasantly.
Once James had disappeared, Jay let go of the tenseness in cuius body and instead became a little limp. "Joseph, we're gonna go to the same place, aren't we? We're gonna be together?"
"Well, yes, you believe how I believe, and I believe how you believe."
"I know… I really convinced you, huh?"
"You totally did, Jay. I imagine we are inseparable now!"
"Heck yeah! Not even Ideology puberty can keep us apart!"
"Nope. We'll be two Ancoms against the world."
"Heck yeah!"
"Those capitalists, they're gonna pay…"
Just as Jay raised cuius hand to give Joseph a high five, they heard someone calling from the bottom of the stairs – their homeroom teacher, Moderate Lee.
"Uh, if anybody still lurking about on the upper floors, could they please come down to the testing area. We need to start soon so we can make sure that everyone accomplishes the task today."
Joseph blinked. "I know how much we both hate following orders, but I think we better get downstairs."
"Yeah, you're right! The more I think about it, the more this day couldn't have come sooner."
Jay was a changeable sort when it came to cuius emotions. Qui had gotten over cuius anger quickly, as well as cuius nerves. Jay was genuinely happy to receive cuius colour today, as were most of the students.
Joseph wasn't exactly in the same place that Jack was, but he was nevertheless feeling apprehensive in a way he shouldn't have been. A small thought passing in and out of his mind that he was going to disappoint Jay.
Of all the reasons to be scared today, why was he most worried about Jay?
Joseph lifted his hand and passed it to Jay, the two of them descended the end of the stairwell, holding one another's hand.
The room where 'The Navigation' would take place was nothing exciting.
The students often had so many crazy ideas about where 'The Navigation' was supposed to happen or what was hidden deep in the dead centre of the school: this place lived up to neither of those legends.
People passed around ideas of the test-taking place in a dark dungeon where you only answered questions with your mind, or in a room with no colour with an echo so great sound reverberated from every angle. However, the entire class found themselves lined up against the wall and staring at what seemed like an ordinary computer room. It was the kind of place where they would have a simple IT lesson: not take the most important quiz in their entire lives.
Plain blue carpet, cream coloured walls probably painted years ago and rows of computers with sets of headphones at their side. The was the sound of a rattling air conditioning in a distant corner. Recent technology was something, but the idea of taking 'The Navigator' on a computer screen felt a little strange.
Moderate looked up and down upon the row of students, carefully making sure that everyone was accounted for: missing this would have been horribly dangerous.
After a minute or two of pacing, Moderate stepped back and started to speak, trembling as the words came out of his mouth. "You will have sixty minutes to finish. Do not talk to each other. Keep the headphones on, eyes on the screen and do not try to influence another person's result. Remember: there is nothing to be afraid of."
Joseph looked down the row to notice that Jack was already whimpering. Holding his hat by his side instead of wearing it. Looking down onto the ground.
"I will call you out one by one, and you will go and sit down and take your place. I will tell you when the time starts, and you can start to answer the questions. Okay? Y-you get it?"
Moderate wasn't doing a very good job at calming the students down. In fact, Moderate was more likely making the students feel worse each time he stuttered.
Sixty Minutes. It couldn't be that bad. Just an hour and this will be over. Joseph thought to himself while eyeing the computers across the other side of the room. The smell of dust entering his nose: they certainly didn't clean this place often. The centre of the school treated as if it was sacred, but it was still only used once a year.
Moderate shuffled his papers, the ones containing the students' predictions' so that the teachers at the school could at least have some preparations for the people they would have to be handling. Not that they would actually tell anyone those predictions. What use would they have for the students worrying about, what was, for now, a word on a piece of paper? Moderate cleared his throat and started reading out our names one by one.
As Jay was called, qui skipped over to the desk and immediately pressed the headphones against cuius head. Eyes transfixed.
Jack was supposed to follow, but instead of walking to the desk, he was just standing there still shaking.
He had taken his hat off, clutching it by his side. He was hanging his head down, letting his long light brown hair fall over it. It looked as if he was hiding his tears, of course, this would have been easier if he was wearing that hat, a testament to how much he didn't want to wear it.
"Jack, we need you to go and sit down now. You can't hold this up for anyone else."
Jack shook his head.
"God, fucking move. Stop being so weak, this should be the best thing that ever happens to you!" James, who was standing next to him, shoved his side, causing Jack to stumble.
"James! Don't talk like that, not yet… you can't talk like that here!"
Moderate kneeled over and started to pat Jack on the back gently. "Look, it'll be fine. It's going to be fine. It'll be over and uh, if you're surprised then that's just fine too because it takes time for some people to just… grow into their role. It's not frighting even if it's… not what you expect. Just remember what I said earlier, okay?"
Jack tried to push away Moderate, trying to comfort him. Jack didn't say anything but the sound of his crying was getting more and more noticeable. He tried to turn away, but then Moderate started tugging on his coat. "Please, come on, everyone else is waiting."
"No, no, no. I can't it's going to –"
"What? Let me tell you, Jack, it can't come up with something you don't 'like' unexpected, yes, but whatever the outcome will be, you won't be unhappy with it. You'll be comfortable because it's still you, okay? Uh, I know it's not very Moderate of me to say this but who cares what the others think… if it's what's going to make you the most comfortable?"
Jack stood there and mumbled before slowly placing the hat back on his head.
"Hey, loser, just move along!"
"Ugh, James!"
Folding his arms and grabbing on to his jacket, Jack seemed to be fighting off the last of his tears. It was hard to tell if it was Moderate's words or James's shouting that had shushed him, however. He started to turn around, still gripping the jacket, and they walked forward. Trying to push past Moderate as if he wasn't even there.
"Jack… Oh?" Moderate looked up at him and then returned to standing as Jack seemed to push past. "At least you're taking your seat."
Eventually, the whole class was sitting, headphones in, one screen in front of them: but there was nothing but a blank screen on them, 'The Navigation' was yet to officially start.
Joseph could see Jack out of the corner of his eye. He looked to be searching for a place to put the fedora like hat, but there was barely any room between him and the other computer. He would have to wear the hat through the test too, whether he wanted to or not.
Joseph didn't know what to expect, and neither did any of the other students. The computers were already a surprise. What else was 'The Navigator' hiding?
Either way, Joseph was keeping a frame of reference in his head for the kind of things Jay would put, they believed alike, so their result and colour would end up the same. However, Joseph feared that he might end up confused or stuck, and then he would think back to his friend.
"Everyone you have… five, four, three, two, one… let the Navigation begin!"
The screen flashed to a bright white, and a buzz started in Joseph's ears. He was sure that the headphones were still on, the sounds of the classroom had disappeared. Even after he blinked rapidly, the shining light still remained. Wasn't this supposed to be a test? Where are the questions? Joseph's thoughts were screaming inside his head.
"Greetings, Joseph. Welcome!"
"Welcome?" He spoke back without even opening his mouth.
"I'm the Navigator. Well, the version you will be taking today."
"You're the Navigator?" Joseph released he wasn't actually speaking, so much as he was telepathically contacting it.
"For today, yes I am, and not only that, I am your Navigator, but that's enough for introductions. I need to start my assessment."
"Are you just going to analyse me?" Joseph asked the blank white void in front of him.
"Analyse? That's a crude word. I do far more than that little Ideology."
Around him, Joseph saw lights gather, lights like small dancing orbs: blue, yellow, red, green, the colours of the World of Ideas as a whole was painted. They danced around him before forming themselves together in front him in the shape of a brightly glowing square.
"Now, where were we, oh yes, today is the day you reach into your soul."
Joseph folded his arms and suspiciously eyed the strange conjunction in front of him. "My soul? But I don't believe in those."
"Don't be funny."
"I'm not being funny with the most important moment of my life…"
"You'd be surprised, some of them really do. But I really have no need to mock you today either."
"Y-You'd do that?" Joseph unfolded his arms and let them fall to the side.
"If I need to!" It sounded as if it was laughing, Joseph thought it was laughing.
"Then what exactly do you want from me?"
"Well, what do you think you believe in? Go on and tell me, might as well make this easy so you can just go back to the world again?"
"Of course, 'Navigator'" Joseph tried to speak with the most respect he could muster without his suspicion toward the entity get the better of him.
"Go ahead, explain as much or as little as you feel you need to. Then I'll make your wish reality."
Joseph straightened his coat and stared ahead. "Well, I'm an Anarcho-Communist, or an Ancom if you prefer."
"Are you?"
"Yes, what else?"
The lights ahead of him started to shuffle around. They moved, at first trading places with each other before the blue seemed to disappear completely, leaving all the other colours to merge into a murky brown.
"What else? I'm just an Ancom. That's all."
"No, I mean, why are you an Ancom? Which of your beliefs reflect this? Or your Worldview?"
Joseph stood there, thinking for a minute until what he thought was a solid answer in his favour entered his head. "Well, my deep care for the working class, of course, I feel a sense of unity with their struggles and despise the economic inequality within the populous."
"Excellent. That solidifies your place as a leftist for sure. I could tell you were being honest too. You really do know some parts of your soul well."
Joseph grinned inadvertently for a second before returning to his usual serious expression.
"That's not the whole story though, is it… It doesn't exactly explain why you call yourself an Anarcho-Communist, not completely. Can you go into more detail?"
"What details exactly?"
"You should know which one."
The lights ahead of him were now very brightly orange as if the red and green lights from before had merged perfectly.
"Uhhh. I support progressive ideas, you know? Like how my dear friend, Jay, express his-no, cuius non-binary gender."
"Hmmm, you mentioned respecting your friend's gender identity, yet you seemed to misgender them?"
"Everyone makes mistakes, alright!"
"Not that easily… and not on The Navigator, Leftie."
Joseph would have backed away if this hypothetical mind-space wasn't so small.
"Despite your mistake, I can tell that you deeply care about this friend, don't you? Qui has found cuius way into your soul too. You do have quite a bond."
"Y-y-yes, we do…"
Joseph started to feel… weird. Like there was a prickling sensation inside his chest. Like someone was plucking at his insides. It didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable – if that was even a description of it.
"Sadly, 'bond' isn't what I go by. There's a lot more to which societal ideals you feel comfortable embodying, living out, inescapably. Friendship isn't the determiner."
"I know. Navigator, I get it – but!"
"But what? Just wanting to be progressive doesn't make one an anarchist – I'm sure you know that. There are lots of ways of governing that can respect your friend's identity just as you do. You get that, right?"
"I get it. I do. I understand that."
Joseph wondered if this was the kind of thing 'The Navigator' said to everyone or if its answers were different. How much of this was code? How much of this was real? Joseph noticed it was trying to imply that there were other ideas in his head that he was open to. He felt his pulse quicken. This – thing, whatever it was supposed to be was playing with him.
"So, what else do you want? And I mean what do you really want."
"I think that I would like… me and Jay, to be safe, safe from the people who want to exploit us! And I want that for everyone else too!"
"Exploit in what way, Leftie?"
The phrase 'Leftie' it was starting to sound less like an insult to Joseph, and more like a compliment.
"You know, exploit our labour, reduce our worth to our output, that kind of thing!"
"Well, what's the best way to do that?"
"The best way?"
"The best way for you, the best way you think we should all do things? How would you protect Jay… and everyone else for that matter…"
"Well, I… we should… have…"
"You sound afraid to speak."
Joseph was afraid to speak.
"You shouldn't be scared, you have an answer, I can tell. You're no lost soul, Leftie. You know what you think and why you think it."
With something still pulling at him inside his chest, Joseph attempted to reach up to the dazzling orange lights, but they vanished the moment he touched them. They disappeared behind him.
"Hmph Hm. What was that for?"
The pain inside his chest swelled as he felt the need to turn around – the bright orange lights were brighter than before – almost turning the entire setting behind it orange.
"You're so scared that you'll attack me? You must be really fighting against something, huh?"
Joseph shut his eyes and fought off the sensation of crying. However, his fight didn't last long. The lights, 'The Navigator' was forcing his eyes open. 'The Navigator' wanted Joseph to stare at it. Joseph coughed as the weight on his chest started to grow heavier – it was less like prickling and more of like a metallic brick hitting his chest. Even the air pressure was growing heavier.
He realised what was happening, he couldn't get out of this by lying.
Even though Joseph still wanted to be with Jay. He had to acknowledge that his beliefs, those he had developed throughout his childhood and beyond that. Those of his parents and upbringing that he hadn't managed to remove – because they had made sense to him.
He could never fully adapt to Jay's core beliefs. Not really. He had thought that because he and Jay had some things in common that they shared economic ideas that convincing himself to convert for quem would have been simple. He had never managed to internalise those beliefs because they had never really made sense to him.
It was like a performance, a show he had put on, just for Jay. And now Joseph was being called out for it.
Joseph had taken his thoughts on 'The Navigator' far too loosely. He had thought, that as a simple test, a system he could have 'tricked' it by filling in the answers as they came up. Not lie by choice but believe his own lies true enough that he could sway the judgement. He hadn't expected a 'conversation' of a sort like this.
"You know… maybe I am a little scared."
"I can tell, and I know that you realise that."
Joseph just nodded.
"You know, as I see inside your mind, I'll save you the trouble of explaining yourself – I'll just tell you."
"Tell me?"
"You're afraid of losing quem, Jay. So much to the point that you tried to sacrifice your worldview but that never worked. Deep down, you're still a statist, aren't you?"
"T-the best way to look out for people as a whole, including traits like their gender or background, is a strong state to enforce those rules…"
"And?"
"And class will always be the most important thing…"
"Jay would say that they are all important, wouldn't qui?"
"Well, qui would?"
"But not you, see you're not the same."
"No, we're not."
The pounding in his chest was starting to slow - the atmosphere returning to normal. However, as the pain ceased as the feeling of defeat overcame him. He was losing something, but he was also gaining something: not that it was something that he really wanted. The more he realised this, the more he saw the orange shade fading – replaced by just a pure red.
"You're just like you always have been. You belong in the Authoritarian Left quadrant, where you've always lived, and where you're happy to live."
"Happy? Yeah, I guess…"
"You have no reason to go against that, do you? To fight against how you've always seen the world. And of course, you're a strong spirit so you'd also fight to keep your worldview and the place that allows you to have it, right?"
"Of course! I would so gladly fight for workers rights! Nothing less!"
"Look at that enthusiasm you have, I'm shocked you didn't realise your colour earlier!"
The Navigator laughed. It laughed and not in a mocking tone, but in a joyful one.
"There's no point in living in a world that you neither understand and you wouldn't choose to fight for, is it? Even if your friend is there, you aren't quem, you cannot live in cuius world. You don't think the same, and if you want to know the future, you never will. The idea of the state disappearing, it frightens you, immeasurably, whereas when Jay thinks about it, qui becomes immeasurably happy."
"I get it, I get it." Joseph, feeling immeasurably weaker felt himself kneeling before the lights… 'The Navigator' his Navigator. "I'm getting to know who I am and it's not who I thought."
"Nonsense, Commie, you're exactly who you thought."
"Wait! Commie?" Joseph's eyes widened, they looked as if they were bursting. "What do you mean, Commie?"
"I mean, you're finished. We're done here. The test is now complete."
The red light engulfed everything and then diluted, and then vanished. There was a screech that ran through Joseph's ears – louder than anything he had ever heard before. He would have fallen back in distress if he had had a body at all.
It was only seconds, but for those few seconds, Joseph had become nothing but energy – bodyless – an entity lost within the red mist and everything purposeful that the World of Ideas had to offer him.
When Joseph reformed, he awoke, and he wasn't Joseph anymore.