Karma's Forgetfulness
[Subaru: Why am I getting a strong sense of Deja Vu?]
Subaru has been staring at an unfamiliar ceiling for the past minute. He had woken up with the worst headache he ever felt and he didn't even know why.
[Subaru: Alright, now let's figure out what's going on…]
He really didn't want to move from his position, he would rather stay in this rather comfortable bed with this strange crushing force on his arm. Wait, what? As Subaru looked to his right, he saw a naked Priscilla with her arms and her chest on his arms.
[Subaru: WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HELL!?]
Subaru jolted from his position in his bed, screaming, regaining a new sense of energy as he finally noticed he was as naked as Priscilla. From this commotion the red haired candidate started to slowly awake from her slumber.
[Priscilla: Ugh… Why does mineself have such a headache, what is this sticky feeling in mine crotch, and who is making those loud sounds… ]
As Priscilla slowly turned to her left, she could only feel absolute shock and confusion as she saw the completely naked Subaru, drawing to the best conclusion she can in the matter of seconds.
[Priscilla: INTRUDER, IT'S A RAPIST IN MINE CHAMBERS!]
Subaru, extremely confused and not wanting to die right opens his mouth to explain but he was cut off by Priscilla activating her Yang sword as she stood up, ready to execute this peasant who dared try to defile her.
[Priscilla: For your crimes against mineself, I sentence you to dea-]
Before Priscilla was able to finish her sentence and execute the poor confused Subaru, the door to Priscilla's bed chamber burst open. It was Julius, in what can be best described as a gimp suit.
[Julius: STOP PRISCILLA SAMA, SUBARU-SAMA IS INNOCENT!]
A feeling of "What the fuck" washed over both Subaru and Priscilla as they saw what Julius, the greatest Knight, was wearing. The headache certainly didn't help with their confusion. Subaru used this moment to quickly run over to Julius's side.
[Subaru: Priscilla please I have no idea what's going on either, I just woke up next to you and-]
[Priscilla: YOU WOKE UP NEXT TO MINESELF?]
[Julius: Priscilla-Sama please calm down, there is a child sleeping in the next room]
Priscilla breathed in as she grabbed the blanket from her bed and wrapped it around herself
[Priscilla: Fine peasants, if it's for Schult's sake then mineself will keep it down]
[Julius: Well, it isn't Schult, Al decided to take him out for a walk for the time being, it's the um, the child you and Subaru-sama decided to adopt last night.]
[Priscilla and Subaru: WHAT?!]
After a few minutes of confusion and Julius politely telling them to put on clothes, he leads them to the room next to Priscilla's bed chamber. Julius cracks the door open slightly, enough to see what looks like a child with silve- No platinum hair.
[Julius: That's the child Subaru-sama and you decided to adopt, Priscilla-Sama]
Priscilla placed her hand on her head, this had not been a good morning for her. Subaru looked at Julius with a curious look, something that had been weirding him out.
[Subaru: Hey Julius, why are you saying Sama when referring to me?]
Julius looked back at Subaru as he looked down at Subaru's hand. Subaru got the hand as he lifted up his hand and looked at a big beautiful ring, on his ring finger.
[Subaru: Wait why does it look different?]
[Julius: So from what I have gathered before I came to get you two, last night, both of you got married]
[Subaru: Julius that's not a funny joke to play on a guy with a hangover like mine, I'm already married to Emilia and Rem, I couldn't have done something like this.]
Priscilla had been pretty quiet the entire time as she was shocked that she did something so careless to get drunk and married, herself shouldn't, COULDN'T, have married a peasant like him. But that Child fascinated her, such beauty found in such a dirty place.
[Priscilla: what striking platinum hair, at least the peasant chose well out of the children available in such a filthy city.]
Subaru mentally was freaking the absolute hell out, he had cheated on his two wives, Rem and Emilia, with Priscilla of all people. What would his daughters think of him? Melli, Beatrice, Louise, I'm so sorry...
[Subaru: Oh my god what have I done…]
Subaru placed his hand on his face as he held back tears, he didn't want to face his two wives ever again after this.
*CRASH*
The group of three heard a large crash from down the hall, as they approached they heard what sounded like shouting, and swords being drawn. Hearing this Julius and Subaru began to sprint down the hall and feasted their eyes upon a sight they would likely never see again.
Reinhard Van Astrea was wearing what looked to be a paper crown with the words best man written in kanji on it, wielding the dragon sword. All the while he had a set of bright red panties on his face. To the sword saint's left the group saw the second biggest reveal of the day,Vincent Allebux was calmly sipping tea as the Sword Saint did combat with Cecilus the Blue Lightning.
[Vincent: Cecilus stand down, my sister's young daughter is sleeping. May I remind you we are here to offer congratulations not to destroy the capital.]
[Cecilus: Of course your majesty]
Reinhard takes notice of the arrival and moves to greet his good friends.
[Reinhard: Ah good *hic* morning Subaru, Julius, Priscilla-sama. May I again offer my congratulaaaaaaaaaations?]
The smell of alcohol was coming off of Reinhard, was he drunk? How much had he been drinking? Reinhard's face was covered with a heavy blush from the alcohol, he was basically a tomato.
[Julius: Reinhard we have likely already congratulated our friend during the events of last night]
[Reinhard: *Hic* No no Juuuulius, I mean the new life growing inside of Priscilla-saaaaaaaamaaa, it's so sad we won't have a night like this for the next 9 monthsss…]
Reinhard then collapsed onto Julius, Julius catching him, Reinhard had been defeated by the greatest enemy ever, booze.
[Subaru and Priscilla: Pardon?]
The surprise that Priscilla is pregnant had temporarily made the "couple" polite for a moment.
[Subaru: Okay since no one wants to say it, I'll bite. What does Reinhard mean by that Julius?]
[Julius: Reinhard possesses the divine protection of pregnancy detection, from what I heard from Felix. He originally thought it came from when someone held another's hand, so when he held Felix's hand he asked Od Laguna for the divine protection. Subaru, he has detected a child within Priscilla-sama's womb.]
At the sudden revelation of his sister's condition Vincent finally spoke up again, however this time his tone was much more aggressive.
[Vincent: Natsuki Subaru, am I correct in hearing that you have deflowered my darling sister? Not only that but you have even sowed your seed within her, so shortly after your wedding?]
[Subaru: V-Vincent this can't be right… I couldn't have done something like that with Priscilla, there is no way, I have two loving wives!]
[Vincent: And you're referring to my Darling Sister with no honorifics, truly despicable]
Subaru was on the verge of tears, he was such a horrible person. He cheated on his wives and got a girl pregnant this was exactly what his mom told him not to do.
Julius saw that Subaru was on the verge of breaking elected to change the subject.
[Julius: Hey um, I have a feeling Ferris was with us last night, where is he?]
[Priscilla: on that note where is mine bitch, he should have been there to guard against mine violation.]
[Julius: Subaru check your metia, it does show fragments of time doesn't it?]
Subaru opened his phone which was somehow neatly placed in the strange knight's uniform he had thrown on. He opened it to see quite a few pictures, one of him and Priscilla at the crusch estate having a very lavish yet improvised wedding, one of Reinhard doing a keg stand, and most curiously one locked away behind his password. But he soon realized why. The image depicted his pure and loving wives entangled with Roswaal, the man he hated most after gluttony. This had been the last straw, the dam had broken and Subaru started crying his eyes out.
[Julius: This… This was the one thing I was trying to avoid… damn it Julius]
Julius placed his hand Subaru's back
[Julius: Subaru-sama we don't have time for this we have to find ferris. But think on the bright side if you can't focus, you now have a wife, child, and a baby coming, pull yourself together for them.]
[Priscilla: Mineself is not this peasant's wife commoner! There is no way mineself married such an… ugly personality ]
[Subaru: Shut up Priscilla! I don't need this right now]
[Vincent: don't you dare disrespect my darling sister like that! The time we spent in Vollachia pales in the wake of my brotherly instinct!]
[Cecilus: My liege, perhaps we should head back to the envoy?]
[Priscilla: Mineself can handle this horrid situation, Your face bores me Vincent]
Subaru sits down on a chair as he stares down at the floor
[Subaru: God, why do you hate me so]
Transition
Oh my god this is the most hilarious thing ever, was all Pandora could think in that moment as she laid in her red bed, trying to keep a giggle back as Julius closed the door behind him. Once they left she stood up in bed and let out a long laugh at the situation. After a few minutes a maid opened her door and behind her followed a butler holding multiple exquisite dresses.
[Maid: Young mistress, these are the dresses Priscilla-sama requested be tailored for you, please choose one to your liking and I shall help you get dressed.]
[Pandora: Thank you Miss...]
After getting dressed and made up, the maid led Pandora down to the dining hall from which the prior shouting had originated.
[Priscilla: ah girl it is good you are here, what is your name?]
[Vega: My name is Vega mother, just Vega.]
[Priscilla: Ah such a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl, you shall bear my family name in the future.]
Priscilla picked "Vega" up and placed her on her lap, Pandora had to keep all of her laughter in and pretend to be a sweet innocent girl named Vega.
[Subaru: You know "Darling", I am slightly jealous that you get to be the one to hold Vega]
Subaru grit his teeth as he said this, forming a smile as he looked at Priscilla.
[Subaru: There is a reason why I am called the Lolimancer, right?]
He hated the title but if he brought it up, he might have a chance to cuddle the cute girl in the redheaded candidate's lap. In response to this Priscilla tightened her grip on Vega.
[Vega: Mommy, why is daddy so creepy?]
[Priscilla: Because the peasant is a vile pig who would go so far as to seduce his own daughter.]
Subaru at this comment held his chest as his manly heart was destroyed by these horrible comments toward him. Julius chuckled at the back and forth between them.
[Julius: I request we get back on topic on what happened last night, we don't know where Ferris is at, and I fear the worst may have happened to him, I requested that Al keep an eye out while he takes Schult on a walk]
[Priscilla: Ah Schult, Vega sweetheart Schult is your elder brother, please treat him with respect upon our reunion.]
[Subaru: The first place we should look for Ferris is with Crusch-san correct?]
[Julius: I concur, whilst we wait for Reinhard to return to the land of the living once again let me summon a dragon carriage.]
The maids came into the room, with carts filled with various delicious foods and drinks. The group of misfits dug in as Julius left to do fetch a carriage. Soon after Reinhard soon came back to the living world.
[Reinhard: Ugh… Ha to the land of the living once again, apologies friends for the delay. Subaru-sama may I give you my congratulations on yours and Lady Priscilla's future child.]
[Vega: I'm going to have a sibling? Is it one of the other kids from town?]
[Subaru: Sadly, it's going to be mine and Priscilla's blood related child…]
[Priscilla: Sadly?! You should be absolutely grateful you get to pass on your inferior genes through mineself, someone so superior to you that you should be groveling and kissing my feet!]
[Subaru: Oh I'm sorry Miss "Drunken Sex" if I was sober enough to realize what I was doing I wo-]
[Vega: Daddy what's sex? I want to know what that is!]
[Subaru: I uhm, I'll tell you when you're older Vega sweetie]
Subaru scratched the back of his head as he laughed nervously, getting a glare from everyone in the room.
[Reinhard: My head hurts so much… I really wish I didn't do whatever I did last night right now…]
[Subaru: Jeez we must have done some big to make the sword saint himself feel pain, it must've been horrible]
Subaru tried to make a joke to lighten up the situation, but no one was having it at all. Subaru takes a big bite of the food he was served and a large gulp of water, he really wanted to distract himself from what he saw on his phone.
[Subaru: Wait, this is the perfect revenge…]
Subaru whispered to himself, if he can make Emilia and Rem think that he could easily sleep with another candidate, maybe they would feel some kind of remorse or guilt for their actions.
As Subaru thought this, Julius entered the room, a look of worry plastered onto the knights face.
[Julius: Alright good news and bad news, Good news, I procured a carriage for the five of us, but bad news, I have heard gossip from some maids that this might ruin Priscilla-sama's chance at the election, apparently if the Sage's council catches wind of this, Priscilla-sama might get kicked out of selection]
Priscilla bursts from her chair as she screams at Julius in absolute anger, this peasant has completely jeopardized her chances at becoming the king!
[Priscilla: What do you mean my candidacy is in danger because of this! This pathetic worm is the one who defiled my body and impregnated me, he should be executed in the most painful way because of this!][Julius: Priscilla-Sama please, there is a way for this to be avoided, if we find the binding contract and present it to the Sage Council before they learn of the pregnancy, it will be considered to be a pregnancy under the sanctity of marriage, and you won't be kicked out of the selection.]
[Priscilla: ARE YOU SERIOUS, Then where is this Od forsaken binding contract!]
[Julius: That's the problem, we have no idea where the contract is, it must have been lost during the drunken night]
[Subaru: Then, we must find it!]
Subaru only wanted to come to the capital to get over Emilia and Rem cheating on him with the bastard named Roswaal. But it would be too far to get a candidate kicked out over his drunken night of fun.
[Subaru: I have to help my wife after all]
[Priscilla: Don't call me your wife you peasant, once we get the contract I will make sure to divorce you and have you punished for defiling mineself.]
[Subaru: Yeah yeah "Darling", lets go try to find that damn contract so we can get out of this situation.]
Subaru walked out of the room as he headed to the front of the manor, Julius confidently walking behind him in his leather gimp suit, Reinhard with his paper crown and Red panties on his face, and Priscilla in her ornate Red dress carrying a little girl wearing a more modest replica of the outfit.
[Subaru: Hey Reinhard, was it true that you thought hand holding is how babies were made?]
[Reinhard: It isn't?]
[Julius: No… no it isn't]
[Subaru: Okay Heinkel's bad parenting aside let's go find that legally binding document.]