"Ahhh, finalmente la casa. (home at last) While Italia might always be near and dear to me, the whole baradona (ruckus) in Naples with that bastardo...it was just too much. Grazie Dio (thank god) for small favors like this. It seems like my whole scheme to clean up the familia was too radical for the hierarchy...so they sent a bunch of little girls to try and catch the 'Capo il tu Capo' (boss of all bosses) by surprise." [1]

The black-haired youth let out a sigh as he glanced at his watch, making sure to maintain his fast pace of walking. While he might be legally dead there was no telling what the other dons could do or what their buddies in the government had in store for him. It was a good thing he had prepared for something like this happening, even though his peers viewed him as insane. Can't fulfill that promise to you now, huh Mito-obaasan? [2]

A soft breeze blew through the airport as he lost himself in pleasant memories of the past, a soft plop being the only audible sound for a moment. The recollection continued for a few moments before he snapped himself out of the reverie and stood up straight, the silhouette of a ethereal anthropomorphic nine tailed fox grinning behind him as he did so.

"Well, there isn't any use whining endlessly about what's already done. The authorities have no idea a kid just starting high school basically took over the most powerful gang in Italy, nor would they know anything about Stands. Plus, that particular kid was an outsider loathed by everyone around him so nothing lost. Tachibana Haruno was simply a nobody who happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. However..."

His left hand twitched for a while before the ghost fox fired off a jab in a unknown direction.

"What sort of magician would I be, if I didn't have a few aces up my sleeve? Giorno Giovanna might be out of commission for now, but mark my words, il vento dorato del cambiamento soffierà ancora una volta [12]. And when it does, the effects will be witnessed by all,"

As the young man walked off towards his uncertain [but hopefully bright] future, a groaning figure emerged out of the shadows, keeling over and holding a hand to their mouth.

[A Month Later]

[Kuoh]

[Kyoto, Japan]

[Raizen Gakuen Rooftop]

{? POV}

Ahh, another perfectly normal day with nothing worth mentioning occurring. Apart from the two lecherous idiots whom I know as my childhood friends getting their ass beaten by their would be victims...which is slightly satisfying for once. At least I wouldn't be making the medical system richer this time...those bokken strikes hurt! [3]

Since nobody knows what I really look like or even what I do in my spare time, it was relatively easy to excuse myself from the conversation and remove the disguise I wear while at school. I swear to God, if I hear that annoying voice in my head talk about breasts and gathering 'mates' to boost my supposed power I am heading straight to a psychiatrist. This fucking thing is causing me to lose out on relationships, by having to act like a trash side character from those bad games and manga M&M love to talk about or suffer an immense headache that prevents me from doing anything.

I can't even have a conversation without stating that I'm the 'Harem King' and acting like I'm still in middle school. That breast fetish is something I never wanted to relive and the voice just made it worse. [3] Well, at least I have a best selling book series, no thanks to the three stooges.

I AM NOT A MERE MENTAL DISORDER! I AM DDRAIG Y GOCH, RED DRAGON OF DOMINATION! YOU MIGHT NOT BE A BELIEVER BOY, BUT AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO SHOW RESPECT TO A CREATURE SUCH AS MYSELF!

Ah great...here it goes again. Not even fifteen minutes yet and it's already started. Sometimes I wonder if fate really hates me or I'm just really, really unlucky. Normally it would tell me to go out and screw everything female that comes into my field of vision but since I'm alone, it should leave me alone for now.

Making sure to have a quick look at my phone in order to make sure I'm not late for class, I take a quick look around before wiping off my glasses and taking out a almost new PS-Vista from my pocket. If Matsuda and Motohama were to see this, they'd think I'm pretty childish considering what I supposedly chatter with them about, but I don't give a shit. This is my personal hobby and the one thing the voice can't take away from me.

After booting up the portable gaming system and making sure everything works, I then turn my attention to the one thing I can say I'm good at.

Otome games, or more specifically 'gal capture' games.

The one I'm currently going to play is quite rare and hard to find, which is quite strange coming from somebody like me. It never reached mass production nor was lucky enough to get a domestic release. I only managed to find it due to pumping the idiot duo for information while pretending to talk about hentai. [Sigh] This is why superheroes pretend to be ordinary persons. I bet All Might is just some ordinary guy with a job when he's not out working as a hero. [4]

[silly chuckle]

Enough rambling, time to get onto business. I start the game and begin my quest to capture the heart of its heroines. My concentration increases to insane levels, I'll probably never get another chance like this again for the day. As soon as the school bell rings it's back to being the same ol' idiotic fool who'd jump for joy at the sight of a slightly larger than normal bust.

Yuka-chan would either burst out laughing or start weeping if she were to see me now. Her best friend and closest confidant, now reduced to a imbecile clown who openly declares his intention of being a unfaithful bastard and has to hide his geeky self from the public. [5]

The game was pretty challenging at first, not going to lie on that, but after a bit of careful strategy and carefully placed schemes it was as simple as any other garden variety visual novel I have read. Plot was pretty interesting, the MC basically has to molest girls in order to gain power to save the world, but apart from that, nothing much really.

HOW DARE YOU CALL A WORK AS GREAT AS THAT AVERAGE? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE? THAT IS PURE EROTICISM, PERVERSION AT ITS HIGHEST! DON'T LIE TO ME BOY YOU'D DO THE SAME AS KAKAROT-SAMA IF GIVEN THE CHANCE!

Dude, seriously? What is it with you and X rated stuff? Sure, Kizura might have been a perverted idiot but he did it because it was the only way to utilize Eros and the Unity Fusion System! [6]The future of what was left of the world was at stake! Now I don't approve of his actions, especially when there were kids around, but it wasn't like he had a choice!

I...I'M A GIRL YOU MORON! NOT BECAUSE I'M A BEING OF IMMENSE POWER MEANS THAT I HAVE TO BE A MALE! Plus, you're not in the position to be talking because of the upcoming mating season. That little idiot dream of becoming immensely skilled with the ladies will become more than a reality as you drown in the lust my power provides...[9]

It's official. I'm absolutely fucked.

I ignore the lunatic rantings inside my head and turn the VISTA off, before pocketing it and taking out a worn notebook from the other pocket. I save the voice's words about 'being fruitful and multiplying' for later, when I can actually think about what is going on. A pen carefully saved for this occasion, a homemade sandwich from Asuka and a couple bites later, I'm scribbling together a loose outline of my latest review.

Mmm, it's actually pretty good. Elsie-chan really did inherit our mother's gift for the culinary arts, even though Dad himself isn't a bad cook. Even though some of her original recipes could be the key to Armageddon, she's quite the chef...when she sticks to conventional stuff. [7]Tsuyu's also showing signs of having that particular talent as well...

My pen flows freely as I express my feelings on the game I've just finished playing, from the lack luster start to the tearbreaking ending. The two perverts would probably cry tears of joy about what I was doing, but I wouldn't and still don't give a shit if they were to ever find out. I do this because I love gal games, not because I'm a idiot enamored with the female form to the point of insanity. Big difference.

Speaking of perversion, I wonder what happened to the old man that showed me the ropes when Yuka and her family moved away. I think his name was Joseph Joestrum or something like that? [8] I can't exactly remember.

By the time I'm finished with my impromptu lunch what will become my latest review is pretty much done. There are still some rough edges and other problems that need to be sorted out, but it's pretty much complete for now. I'll do the refinement at home.

Making sure to put the notebook in my pocket I get up off the floor and dust myself off, checking to make sure my glasses are properly placed. This is my alone time after all.

Grabbing my bag and making sure that I'm not noticed, I begin to rearrange my hair so that the village idiot can make an appearance once more. Then I take my glasses off and replace them with contact lenses to hide the slitted pupils. Don't want rumors going around.

Goofy ass smile? Check. Typical shonen protagonist look but geared towards ogling women instead of fighting or getting a girlfriend? In place. Man, this routine is getting lame.

I'm almost into the main school building when I receive a notification on my phone. It's one I use for dealing with issues pertaining to gaming and my review business. When I finally get the gist of the message I almost lose it.

"Seriously? Soul Soceity Enterprises? And the Infinite Stratos and Hundred.[9]...weren't these basically abandoned space suit and exoskeleton projects? This must be some sort of scam,"

It's worse than what you think, drake. Some buffoon in the Grim Reapers fucked up and the old geezers need a wing man to assist them in cleaning up the Hollow problem temporarily. If you value your life, then don't click on that button, [10]

Finally, some actually good advise. I place my finger on the screen to delete the message, but a familiar voice prevents me from doing so.

"Those fucking perverts. They just had to find out that this place existed and try to get a piece of the 'action', nya. And the worse part is, that idiot hanging out with them would have gotten the blame for it too! I mean he is a complete moron who really believes he can become the 'Harem King', but that's just not fair, nya! Now I see why Shirou-oneechan went crazy [11]...I'm so sorry I misunderstood you for so long auntie! Please forgive your wayward niece!"

I wince and almost cover my man parts, but since I'm in public and in the guise of 'Daioppai' (breast lord) I must play the part of a ignorant lecher. Unfortunately fate decides to screw around with me, and our eyes meet just as I pocket the phone.

"O...onii-chan?"

"Shirone? What are you doing..."

CHAPTER END

Notes:

1. A reference to the obscure seinen manga and later anime series 'Gunslinger Girl', which takes place in Italy at the end of the cold war. The plot surrounds the life of experimental cyborgs a la Ishimori created from girls from broken homes or victims of horrific crimes, who are assigned to deal with a bunch of Nazbol separatists who are deemed a threat to the state. But why wouldn't the Organizzazione per La Sicurezza Sociale deal with other threats as well...

2. Canon Naruto Uzumaki is clearly 'inspired' by two relatively unknown anime and manga characters, Giorno Giovanna from the Vento de Oro arc of Jojo's Kimiyou no Bouken and Gon Freccs from Hunter x Hunter. I decided to be more upfront and blend their origins and backstories into a plausible history for this character.

3. I know DxD is a obscure seinen, and that shows of this genre need to be dark and edgy because of the adult rating but come on! Canon Issei's backstory makes no sense. He meets an old man in the park and becomes a pervert, just because he was depressed when Irina and her family left? That's fucking illogical and absolutely stupid, even for seinen. Instead, the MC's ero problem is due to Ddraig's influence whether unintentional or overt.

4. Kal-El uses Clark Kent as a disguise because he wants to be a ordinary person first and foremost. Even though he is by all means and purposes, a literal g...d on Earth. Fame, attention and power gets boring after a while and can even corrupt...if you want proof of this look at the various revolutions through real life history.

5. Guess which ultra violent early 2000s seinen somewhat harem ecchi series I'm using here...a cookie for the person who can guess the genderbent canon male character I'm using to replace Irina.

6. Basically the plot of Masou Gakuen HxH by Masamune Kuji. Guy finds himself on a top secret R&D facility where he meets a girl and has to end up fondling her in order to defeat Skynet from another dimension. Pretty stupid, but it somehow works. It later turns out the reason he can do this is because of a biobooster unit..sorry symbiote inside of him..that gives whomever girl he chooses to molest immense power.

The apocalyptic war that destroyed the world in this light novel and manga was in reality a war between the governments and the machines that went hot. The machines destroyed the current civilization as vengeance and now the survivors live in Mega Floats close to the main continents. Japan abolished Article 9 and got its empire back, because treaties made with idiots running around in pillow sheets suffering from delusions of grandeur (look up Woodrow Wilson and how he got the US into WW1) don't matter when the world is a pile of smoldering ruins. The EU federalized and now controls most of Eurasia and Africa based on what little I could find in the lore.

America seems to be fractured as the Mega Float near California is literally owned by the IJN (Imperial Japanese Navy). The British Empire is a authoritarian dictatorial cult of personality that manages its core territories and puppet states with ease from London. The Germans and Japanese know the Tories are being manipulated by the machines but can't do jackshit until the protagonist manages to pull off a heel face turn with the Eros gear and get some of the people behind the machines on the side of freedom and authoritarian, but somewhat leftist democracy that is also super traditionalist for some reason because, it's seinen man! Literally that.

In short, the series is basically a Star Wars AU set in a alternate history Earth, where Palpetine is basically a German politician who saw through the lies of the Jedi who act as an elitist secret society manipulating world history from behind the scene. He uses his Sith powers to push for massive military spending across the West and a boost in nationalist and liberal parties to combat the white supremacists and communists the Jedi favor...which turns out to be a blessing in disguise as the Yuushan Vong invade Earth and cause an apocalypse.

7. In canon World Only God Knows, Elsie is a extremely good cook whose only weakness is unfamiliarity with the human world. In this work she believes she's the MC's younger sister and has forgotten about her job as a Soul Reaper. So she would apply these skills to human meats and produce. Why? [THE WORLD] OVER HEAVEN and infinite draconic power colliding, to give you a hint.

8. Joseph was definitely faking senility in Diamond is Unbreakable. Hamon literally is the fountain of youth and he was able to engage DIO when he had several things to do in canon. So he'll still be active, but more cautious and wise.

9. The Infinite Stratos was tested out and implemented as a space suit as was its original design in this fanfic. It partially succeeded...but was scrapped due to the infamous bug that causes the events of the canon light novel and anime. Due to better media control and presentation the world believes that Warslan Enterprises is fighting a global terror threat a la Rainbow Six's White Masks.

10. Soul Society and the Lost Souls domain of The World Only God Knows' Hell are basically the same thing with shared codominion by the 72 Pillars and Shinto. Radicals and misfits are sent there from the Magical faction as well as the other mystical sides to keep peace since Hollows are so numerous.

11. What the hell was Kuroka in canon DxD doing before she joined the SJW and Neo-Bolshevist Alliance...sorry 'Khaos Brigade'? That sounds so Duginist, come to think of it. The so-called d...s [I simply call them magicals because they don't act and behave like d...s to me] must have massive influence in media, technology, law enforcement and the military for nobody to have picked up on the supernatural by now. In this story she simply wandered around the human world until she met Nezu and joined UA, using her skill in combat to rise through the ranks and passing off her senjutsu as a Quirk.

The Meta Liberation Army has its suspicions and has its agents trailing her, but since they don't control Japan anymore in this fic they can't do much.

12. The golden wind of change will blow once more