Manipulative Melodies, a naruto fanfic

Disclaimer: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, and related properties bunch of others is the creation of Masashi Kishimoto and the property of Shueisha, Viz Media, TV Tokyo Co., and Shonen Jump. Please go support the official release.

From r/narutofanfiction: Crack Fic Idea: Sasuke learns the flute, so he can play it every time Naruto gives a speech to a villain.

Wgarrett11 and my fellow from r/narutofanfiction compadres, enjoy.

Manipulative Melodies.

Naruto Uzumaki had an idea. An idea so absurd that it would make a certain grown-ass man's idea of putting the entire world under a genjutsu by reflecting that shit off of the moon's surface just so he can be with his dead 12-year-old waifu look completely normal. So absurd that it would make the notion of a man who somehow retroactively replaces reality with an illusion potentially weeks after their death to undo said death seem completely reasonable. Damn pink eye and its bullshit hax powers.

And Naruto had to thank Konoha school musical produced by the family entertainment corporation Yensid (definitely not Disney backwards) for this beautiful idea. The idea to incorporate music in the shinobi business.

Wait, you might ask yourself. Didn't that already occur with the realm of canon with a certain redhaired Uzumaki who played the flute? To which I ask, do you even canon bro? Tayuya ain't no Uzumaki. And second of all, while music has already be incorporated into the shinobi world via genjutsu or other means, Naruto intended to follow Konoha school musical's footsteps or more so musical notes in this case.

His idea was fairly simple: Fighting with all he has, and when he gets his ass kicked and has no way to beat his opponent; sing an endearing song while heartfelt music played in the background to get a rise of the enemy's empathy.

A soft giggle escaped the Uzumaki as his body jittered with excitement. They will never see it coming.

No one was safe from what was to come. The power of music laced with the omnipotent power of talk no jutsu was now going to be unleashed upon the world.

Sasuke looked up from a certain orange book he had been reading, "Are you serious Naruto?'' What he had just heard from his best friend, was crazy, even by Naruto's standards. Ensnaring enemies with music? And while doing so turning on waterworks to further manipulate them? Yeah, no way. He was an Uchiha! An elite! Or as elite as a 12 year old could possibly be. But back to the point, he had his pride to keep in tact, there wasn't a day in hell he was going to entertain such an idea.

He had made a fatal error.

In a battle of words, one does not simply defeat Naruto Uzumaki.

''Sasuke. think about it. We all feel empathy correct?'' Sasuke nodded. "So what if we used music to latch onto someone's empathy, heighten it, and manipulate them as they fall prey to their own empathy. It would be like when someone turned themselves in after they killed someone. The guilt compelled them to send themselves to jail. Human's being dictated by their own emotions isn't unheard off and so let's abuse that little fact. We'll become unstoppable.''

''I'm still not convinced.''

Naruto grinned rather smugly, ''We could easily use this idea to manipulate those pesky fangirls into leaving you alone.''

"Sold!"

As previously stated, in a battle of words, one does not simply defeat Naruto Uzumaki.

Reaching into his bag, he tossed out a bamboo flute to Sasuke. The uchiha examined said flute and looked up to Naruto demanding answers. "My plan was that you'll play sad music with that flute that would assist me when I do my music no jutsu . I know you're a perfect fit for the role because remember those days in the academy when you used to play the flute? You were really good at play depressing emo music."

"Fuck you Naruto."

"And Iruka banned you from playing the flute while at the academy because every student was crying their eyes out instead of paying attention in class. Ah, Good times."

"Seriously, Fuck you Naruto "

"Wait, I gotta ask. Why did you take to playing the flute back then?"

Sasuke only shrugged, "I always played the flute for as long as I can remember. It always helped me keep my mind off things, such as when my family was massacred."

Naruto crossed his arms as the look of realization dawned upon him. "Ah, that would definitely explain the emo music."

"Why am I friends with you?"

It didn't take a whole lot to convince Kakashi of the plan.

Kakashi had made a hobby of collecting Icha Icha limited editions from wherever he can get it, something he prided himself on and let the world know. Youth was to Gai as porn was to Kakashi.

So when Naruto came knocking on his door this afternoon with the latest limited edition Icha Icha in had, there was no way Kakashi was going to refuse Naruto's offer.

Being the apprentice of the man who writes Icha Icha definitely has it's perks.

Now all that was left was to convince Sakura.

"And why should I join Naruto?"

"Sasuke joined."

"Sold!"

Wave country.

These past 2 months have been quite productive for team 7, as not only had they upped their own ninja skills, but secretly developed their musicals skills. Only a select few knew of their plans, such as the hoe-kage obviously but as Sensei of Team 3, Might Gai and his doppelganger genin, Rock Lee. The reason why they were privy to the plans was yet to be known to the other members of team 7 but Naruto had assured that there was a good reason why they were told.

Currently Team 3 and Team 7 were on a co-op mission to wave country to protect their client, who went by the name Tazuna, from any bandits who may attack the bridge builder. He was building a bridge that would connect his own country to the mainland to help bolster trade. While technically the truth, but not the full truth for he had withheld some information. While this was a dangerous thing to do with any other ninja, (usually ending with the client being ditched at a moments notice) Konoha ninja were morally above other ninja. So when they found out that their client was lying to them about the severity of the mission, they decided to carry on with the mission at the promise of earning more money for the mission when wave could pay them back.

If you want to know what Tazuna lied about, go read the damn manga. If you can't bother doing so, here is a crappy run down of things.

A fat midget who is a massive magnate and drug lord took over a country by taking over the country's shipping routes and created a monopoly by isolating the country from the outside world, and turned it into a poor crappy piss poor place where mangy dusty rats wouldn't want to live in.

The end.

So all team 3 and team 7 now had to do was take out what ever obstacle came their way.

The first obstacle that never was came in the form of the demon brothers, Gōzu and Meizu. They had died before they could attack. They somehow drowned to death in their genjutsu puddle.

The second and current obstacle came in form of Zabuza Momochi.

''Well well well, if it isn't Kakashi of the pink eye, and Might Gai of the spandex.'' Zabuza commented as he stood perched upon the hilt of his sword that was sharply embedded within a tree. Might Gai stepped forward, glaring, "Before I unyouthfully insult you Zabuza, for the one millionth time, I am not wearing spandex. I'm wearing a jumpsuit.''

Raising an eyebrow, Sakura looked at Naruto with a confused expression that was he quite used to. "No Sakura I'm not wearing a jumpsuit. My clothing is not one-piece." To demonstrate his point, he opened his zipper to show it was in fact, not one-piece. "It's just a jacket and pants. Not a jumpsuit.'' Naruto turned his attention else where. ''Anyways, Might Gai and Lee, it's time to do your thing.''

Gai and Lee broke from the formation as the stood next to each other as they started taking something out of their pockets. A pair of microphones? Quickly Naruto gave everyone else plugs and told them they were going to need it.

Zabuza could look on in ignorance as Gai and Lee started their youthful duet.

I get on with life as a Ninja,

I'm a Hot bloodied person.

I live for Youth.

But when I start to daydream,

My mind turns straight to all that seems .

Shala la la la la la!

Do I love Freedom more than Youth?

I like to use words like 'Youth' and 'YOSH.'

I like to use words about Youth.

But when I stop my talking,

My mind turns straight to all that seems.

Shala la la la la la!

Do I love Freedom more than Youth?

I like to hang out with Gai and Neji.

But when left alone,

My mind turns straight to all that seems.

Shala la la la la la!

Do I love Freedom more than Youth?

I hate Bitches, I hate Dicks.

But I just think back to Freedom,

Freedom, Freedom, Freedom.

Shala la la la la la

Silence. Utter silence. No one dared to say a thing.

Zabuza and Haku, who was hiding among the trees, had both died to explosive ear cancer. The youthfulness emanating from the song was too much for their virgin ears. That was when team 7 had realized why Naruto had permitted both Guy and Lee to know about their musical endeavors. The rest of the members of team 3 had no idea what just occurred.

2 Weeks later, Wave country capital.

A bandstand had been set up within the main capital district, right in front of the capital's town hall. It looked newly built as the wood looked shiny and undamaged. The pillars on the side were painted in a bright orange that went well with the black roof perched on top.

Civilians upon civilians had all arrived to the location that their mayor had told them to arrive via pamphlets for a special meeting outside the town hall. Whatever the reason, they could only hope it had something to do with good news surrounding Gato, such as him leaving their country. Freeing them from his horrid reign.

They only could look upon with confusion as what appeared to be a group of 3 children, each with varying instruments upon a newly built stage. Was this the reason why the mayor called them here? To listen to some brats play music?

A few civilians growled as they attempted to leave, but they couldn't as a few suspicious persons seemingly appeared nowhere and didn't allow them to leave. This only angered the civilians more as discord and arguments emerged."

"People of wave, I am here to speak to you. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and I am here to help you rise up. Rise up against Gato."

A gruff looking man emerged from the crowd. "You look like what? 12? What do you know about anything we're going through?"

"I know more than you know of me." Naruto nodded to his teammates. Sasuke placed his flute at his lips and started playing a light tune that was followed by Sakura's tugging yet calm music of her harp's strings.

Kakashi played the ocarina and his musical notes followed that of Sasuke's flute, in perfect synchronization. Kakashi remained hidden as it appeared to the civilians the music came from the heavens above.

"I know. My life has always been hard. My parents died the age I have born, and from since then, I have always been alone." Naruto stopped as the music carried on, soothing everyone's ears. "The village I reside in, they always hated me. For as long as I can remember, hatred upon hatred was thrust upon me. Glares. Insults. Even once in a while I was beaten."

The civilians just simply look on taking in his words.

''I never knew who my parents were as I was told that they died the day I was born. I don't even know to this very day if they loved me or not. I've been told many times that they abandoned me because I'm not worth a damn to be someone's child. While the other children had family to live with. Grow with and be loved, I was alone and unloved. All alone in a village that hated and shunned my existence. No shops allowed me in. Whenever I entered the shops, I was kicked out. Even food shops, so I had to get food through other means. Through trash cans. Yes. You heard me right. I had to get food from trash cans to survive. I was kicked out of the orphanage at the age of 4 and until I was 8, I was living on the streets, with no one on my own. Now my life is better off than what is it used to be. Do you think I just sat around and wait for my fate to better itself? Hell no! I went out and did what I can to better my situation. Now I have my own apartment, no longer eating from trash cans, and I have friends so I'm no longer alone.

It was either the music or the kids words. One of those things, or perhaps it was both that was compelling them to do something with their lives.

''If I was able to do something with my life and better, me a 12-year-old kid, then what is stopping you? Is a child really more brave an you people? Grown adults.''

"No!" A shout erupted.

"No? No? If that's the case then do something. You people greatly outnumber the number of thugs that Gato has. They're common bandits, not ninja. You have a fighting chance to actually do something. Will you live as you are now, as something akin to a slave who follows his master's words like a dog to it's owner? Are you people dogs?"

"No!"

"Then don't act like fucking dogs! Fuck Gato!"

Naruto looked on at the people in front of him. Waiting for anything, that shown they were convinced.

''Fuck Gato!"

Naruto looked at Sasuke and give him a thumbs up as the uchiha took in the cheering scores of people. "Well I'll be, you were actually right. This actually worked.'' Sakura nodded in agreement. It wasn't everyday when you see Naruto being correct. Miracles truly do exist.

"You did well Naruto. I never doubted you for a single second." Kakashi said as emerged from the bandstand's roof and placed his hand on his student's shoulder.

"That's because I gave you the limited edition of Icha Icha hardcore.'' Kakashi's eye smile had said everything.

Team 3 arrived on the scene surprised to hear that Naruto had actually managed to persuade the people of wave. They had returned from their mission of infiltrating Gato's base and taking out Gato to help wave recover from his reign of terror. That and it will help Konoha get the money they were due.

"Yosh!" Lee erupted with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. "I have decided to become a worldclass ninja singer! And if I fail to do so, I will train my vocal over 1000 times!"

"And how will you achieve that Lee?" Neji asked with the roll of his eyes.

"By screaming about youth over 1000 times!" Lee announced in a matter-of-factly.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, Sasuke?"

"I think you created a monster."

"I think I have."

The end.

Yeah thanks for reading. This was my attempt at the prompt: Crack Fic Idea: Sasuke learns the flute, so he can play it every time Naruto gives a speech to a villain.

I changed a bit where it wasn't a villian but rather Naruto talking no jutsu-ing the people of wave country into not being a bunch of pussies. Also sorry but this is only a one-shot as I'm too lazy to go out and write a longer narrative.

Also the song I had Rock Lee and Guy since came from an online song generator. In fact, I had prepared another song that I didn't use for this fic because I changed my mind about the scene as I felt it would drag on the story.

Here is the song.

You find so many people are uncaring

But you, you are mostly caring

I like the way you laugh.

Monograph.

I like the way you smile.

You do it like hostile.

I like the way you giggle.

You are just so wigal.

You find so many people are dutiful

But you, you are mostly beautiful

I love the way you wear your hair,

Spreading your style everywhere.

You're like a style fountain.

Enough zazz for a whole mountain.

You find so many people are unremarkable

But you, you are mostly remarkable

You're the perfect girl.

Leaving me in such a whirl.

You find so many people are uncaring

But you, you are mostly caring

Kind, caring and loving,

Beautiful and remarkable too,

Are the qualities of you

You find so many people are dutiful

But you, you are mostly beautiful

This was meant to go in a scene where Neji takes an attempt at music and tries confessing to Tenten via a song only to be rejected for being cringe.

Anyways, I really recommend reading Immigrant writer's attempt at the same prompt. They are a really good author and I can't recommend them enough. Their fic is called Soundtrack no jutsu.