Damned Namikaze

Chapter 1: Jumpstart Sup everybody Green Bar 17 here with this thriller, so sit on the seat, pop the popcorn and stick to your screens. As I take you on a journey through my part of the multiverse. Read review and drop constructive critics Disclaimer: I 'sniff' don't 'sniff' … I don't own Naruto, oh such a cruel world. Now on with it!

"Huff can this day get any more boring?" complained a plain black-haired fellow seated in what resembled a checkout. Said man sat lazily, visible waves of boredom wafting off his prone form, despair and depression radiating from him so much so that one would be compelled to comfort him by any possible means.

"Oi, cut that out," called his partner sitting beside him as said partner chucked a book at his head. Black head dodged the incoming projectile as despondently and halfheartedly as possible, swaying like a fainting man. "If you keep doing that Mitsuki then I'm going to catch your lazy attitude". The now revealed Mitsuki turned to face the woman who was on duty. "Maa, Maa, are you're always so mean to me Aka-Chan, even after all our years working together," Mitsuki cried as anime tears poured down his face. Akane sweat dropped, her partner was… eccentric; for lack of a better word, for someone who always so bored. "That's because you are such an idiot who is so lazy you won't even stop yourself from being …" As Akane continued in her rant, Mitsuki picked himself up suddenly looking serious.

"Hey Akane" said female came out from her self-indulged rant "who are those two". Akane turned to look at who/what he was referring to seeing two figures trudging towards the outpost.

"I don't know, let 'em get closer so we can identify them."

"I hope they're fun, because you're no fun"

"SHUT UP IDIOT" was his eloquent reply.

Located in the distance, now the near, confusing right? Blame it on the space/time continuum coupled with the point-of-view paradox which states that if an event is happening, while another is simultaneously taking place, then it can be viewed as two separate events, three or even as one event being viewed together; once again POV in action, two figures crested a hill as they stood, they surveyed the huge gates and the walls they belonged to, looking beyond them to the vast and sprawling city that laid behind them.

"So, eager to go back home?" the taller one of pair inquired.

"As eager as you are to give up Icha-Icha" was the swift retort.

"Hmm, either way we're doing this whether or not you like it"

"…"

His statement wasn't even deigned a response. "At least try to show excitement to being home eh". Yet again his fellow traveler denied him an answer for all his efforts. They trudged towards the outpost before them. They arrived to see two figures stationed behind the desk.

"Two for entry" our tall mysterious stranger addressed the female member of the lookout.

"Identification please…" Akane's reply was cordial, courteous and calculated. You could never be sure with cloaked strangers in their line of duty.

The man dropped two papers on the desk before her. Akane picked up the passes, her form freezing as she glanced at it, a heavy blush quickly covering her face and her jaw fell open.

"So I take it we are cleared for entry" said the stranger with a sigh, like this happened all too often. The one he was addressing could only stare at him, nodding dumbly even as her face glowed with its redness. The now identified but yet to be named strangers walked past the outpost and into through the larger-than-life gates.

Mitsuki turned to his partner, having taken his eyes off the mysterious duo, not much could faze the normally calm, collected and sassy girl. But before his eyes, a piece of paper completely shut he down. He glanced at the name and picture displayed. His eyes came across "Hatake Kakashi", well that explained it but still he was going to milk this for what it was worth. "Aw, does someone have a crush?" He tuned out the startled babbling and the ensuing "Shut up Mitsuki" which followed it. At least things were going to get interesting around the hidden leaf village. In the chaos, Mitsuki only recalled the name of the Kakashi's companion, it was…

"…Uzumaki Naruto and Hatake Kakashi reporting from their extended training trip Hokage-sama" the now discovered Kakashi drawled in the most laid-back tone ever. Said Hokage made a show of swiveling around to face them; like some mob boss.

"Ah, back already, I believed it would have taken more time."

The Hokage was an old man who honestly should have been retired, spending his days idling and family but noo! The kyuubi juust had to attack and his successor; bless the poor lad's soul, had to seal it into his son, who had just been born that night and, again incidentally, was the boy standing before him.

"So Naruto-kun how are you, how did the training go?"

"I'm fine, Jiji-sama". Short, curt and in a voice so cold, it made you want to shiver, he had been this way ever since the…incident.

"Well I'm not going to keep you any longer than you have to stay and I really have to get to my paperwork," with this he glared as said files, which seemed to glare back at him "so is there anything else you need so I can continue working?"

"Yes, actually to contact the academy and tell them to include Naruto in the team selection."

"Ah, thank you for the reminder Kakashi, err" he rummaged in his drawer for some time before pulling out a slip of paper, handing it to Naruto "take this to Iruka , he's in charge of the graduating class, I had already notified him before now so he'll know where to place you."

His guests turned to leave but just then he called "actually, Kakashi, were having a jounin meeting in a few minutes so if you could wait behind" he chuckled as he saw Kakashi curse underneath his mask, replying a gritted "yes, Hokage-sama", that should teach him not to take his prized, signed, golden-edition collection of Icha-Icha on his trip. Naruto went ahead, leaving the famed Hokage tower to the Academy building. As he transverse the halls, he consciously sent out a wave of chakra to strike against other chakra sources reporting back to him as a source of resonance, telling how many people where at a point and roughly how much chakra they had. A trick Kakashi taught him useful for tracking targets, which was mostly used by ANBU. As he remembered the lesson, he got lost in recollection.

~Flashback1~

Naruto sat across from Kakashi legs crossed, if one were to judge his age, they would say he was about six. They had just finished an intense sparring session, well, intense for him, a heavy workout for Kakashi and were cooling down when Kakashi-sensei decided to impart his words of wisdom.

"Being strong is good" he started "but at certain times, it is better to end a mission without a confrontation. If you can sense you enemy a mile away, then you can bide time till their guard is down and strike before they even know you're coming, that is the way of ANBU."

"But sensei, if you're strong enough you can just go in and take them down"

"Yes you raise a valid point, Naruto, but imagine a situation where they have a hostage, and then you'll need to be more careful, go in get out, before anyone notices while fulfilling your mission." Naruto nodded, he did not fully understand what lesson Kakashi was trying to pass across but he got the gist of it. And it seemed Kakashi knew that as well.

~Flashback1 Over~

After that he taught Naruto how to use the sensory till he could do it in his sleep, literally, he imbibed projectiles with his chakra and hurled them at poor Naruto while he slept, crazy right, yet it worked. Naruto turned to the marked door, were he had felt the largest chakra sources, barring the teachers own, gathered together, he didn't even need the marked paper for directions. He grabbed the door handle and pushed the door inwards, revealing the interior sanctum of the students to him and himself to them. At once the teacher turned to him expectantly, he observed the man; dark hair pulled into a pineapple topped style reminiscent of the Nara clan, a scar cut across the bridge of his nose and warm inviting black eyes, the eyes of a guardian.

"Do you have some business here ninja-san?" his voice pulled him out of his observation, soft yet gruff; he thought he was already a ninja? Well, he wouldn't be far off. He walked to the man and handed him the paper. He watched as his quickly scanned through his contents before looking to him, recognition shining in his eyes. "Ah, so you are the Hokage-sama said he was sending to me"

. Iruka turned to the class, "this is our newest student err…, "Naruto" he supplied helpfully "Naruto-san, he'll be graduating with you all tomorrow". Resounding groans, yells about the unfairness of him not having to go through school and protests about him not being qualified. That last one ticked him off, he could probably take on all of them and they dared to think he was incompetent. He held himself, turning to see the chunin scowling, he watched him draw his fingers into an unfamiliar hand seal. Immediately, the man's head swelled at a rate it startled even the calm, unfazed Naruto, "SHUT UP" damn now that was a way to gain attention and it was effective, because as soon as he yelled the class went stiff, "if anyone has a problem with this arrangement, you're free to take up the matter with the Hokage," no member of the class made to move "that's what I thought".

He turned to face his newest acquaintance "so you'll be here tomorrow by 9 to find out what team you are going to be part of". Naruto nodded to man and stiffened suddenly, a small noise that sounded like tearing rang out, everyone faced him and he burst into pieces of paper taking the form of the Konoha symbol as it was swept with the wind from an open window, all the students gaped at the display, Iruka called attention back to himself as he continued his lesson, his mind going back to the boy, "hmm, never heard of a paper shushin"

~Damned Namikaze~

Kakashi sighed for the umpteenth time having to dodge Gai again. Said Jounin had come in for the meeting early, and as soon as he spotted the masked ninja, made a beeline straight towards him. So in order to avoid a confrontation, which would then devolve into some pointless challenge issued by Gai towards his person, Kakashi decided to avoid him like a plague.

He ducked yet again as Gai soared overhead and crashed amongst a group of unsuspecting ninjas, he just had to survive for a few minutes before the meeting would start and then Gai would be forced to cancel his self-made quest. As he turned about, he glanced upon an unfamiliar face. Raven locks framed a beautiful face, a graceful neck connecting to her torso and subsequent D-sized bust; which he no doubt stared at, his pride as pervert would allow no less, led down to legs the same milky white as the rest of her. She wore what seemed to be a gown made of sewn bandages and bore striking red eyes.

Seemed he had been staring too long because at the moment she was facing him, a huge blush covering her face from his extended gaze. Yet again, his prolonged seemed to be ill thought out as Gai caught up to him.

''Kakashi, my eternal ri-"

"Gai," said man looked at his fellow jounin as he was promptly cut off "who is she." Gai turned to the indicated individual, who was currently caught up in a discussion with another female jounin.

"Ah, that's Kurenai; she's a newly promoted jounin." Well, that cleared it up; he hadn't been in the village so he could not know everything which had happened while he was gone.

"Well, in that case, I'll go say hi later"

"My eternal rival, I cheer you on as you form bonds with our fellow ninjas to spread on the flames of YOUTH"

"Hmm, Gai, did you say something?"

"Ah, curse your hip and cool attitude Kakashi" Gai wailed as he fell to the floor, on his knees, one hand balled into a fist which he waved about, even as Kakashi chuckled silently to himself, their weird friendship never got old. The Hokage came into the room and took his seat; it was time for the meeting to begin.

~Damned Namikaze~

Elsewhere at, the same time the meeting was taking place; the concept of space/time barriers and their effect on anything and everything shall not be re-explained, our cloaked hero, Naruto, decided on taking a stroll through the streets of Konoha. As he transverse the streets of Konoha, he deftly ignored the stares emanating from the populace directed blatantly towards his person.

He came across a store which sold mirrors; he observed his person reflected in the mirror he looked at through the display. He had a singular visible feature, a large cloak draped over his form coupled with a hood, hid his entire bodice from the world while his face was nigh invisible, being blocked from sight by a nin-fuinjustu combination. If only they knew who he really was, the looks of curiosity and wariness would have been of hate, disgust and fear.

He was sure of it; those were the looks he received before he left with his deceased father's last surviving student. Yes he knew the history of Team Minato. Also that of his birth he had even mastered the malevolent energy that coursed through him courtesy the demon, up to 5 tails, although he never had to use it. He even had a seal on his person that cut him off from his full capabilities. He would have stood there lost in thought as people walked by and stared had a most amazing and wondrous scent not tickled his nasal senses. Mulling upon the past could wait, he decided, he had to investigate that endearing aroma, at that, his stomach voiced its agreement.

~Damned ninja~

"He wouldn't like this" Kakashi voiced out concern evident in his voice as he spoke, Team placements had been concluded and as he observed it with a critical eye, he saw nothing wrong with it, in fact, it was very logical. But there was one problem… the one he had just mentioned.

"I know that Kakashi, but he needs to create strong ties to the village, enough to not make him a flight risk" the Hokage had thought out this plan well, Kakashi conceded that point but it still did not guarantee that Naruto would not lash out or willingly co-operate.

"…sigh…" huh, he really was doing that a lot, but then, the situation called for it. "I guess it wouldn't be that bad" oh how wrong he was, of course it would be bad; of that he was sure but still, having a little hope never hurt anyone right?

"Do not look so upset Kakashi…" that was the newly promoted jounin, before his eccentric friend interrupted.

"Kakashi, worry not if it comes to it, I would personally convince Naruto-kun or I would do 1000 push-ups one-handed, and if I can't do that, I would climb the Hokage tower with only my legs to the very top" Gai yelled flames blazing in his eyes, only to be quenched by a simple "hmm, did you say something Gai." The man jerked violently, as if what struck him were a fist and not words, "Oh Kakashi, so hip and cool" faux tears streamed down his face.

"Say Gai, would you like a spar?"

"Yosh, Kakashi, even under that cool, your flames still burn brightly."

He knew he had just poked the mama bear, but he was bored, the meeting was over and he needed to pass the time somehow, a spar with the 'green beast' was the perfect way to do so, even if he would regret it later. The two top jounins made their way out of the office even as others dispersed.

The now alone Hokage sighed to himself, great, now he would need a new training field, but still everyone was gone, he pulled out and orange book, and as he opened it, he heard shuffling ,drew the book below his eyes to see the paperwork had somehow quadrupled.

His eye twitched.

The topmost paper flapped.

"DAMMIT" the scream was heard all over the village

~Damned Namikaze~

Naruto smiled internally, outside, his hidden face bore a neutral outlook. The Uzumaki in him thoroughly enjoyed that feast of ramen. Truly it was the food of the gods. Around him, other customers were in various states of shock, then again, seeing a man eat 37 bowls of food while drinking the broths at a pace even a pack of ravenous wolves could not even dream of matching would do that to you.

The chef smiled proudly behind the counter, even as his daughter/waitress by utterly shocked. He laughed out loud, earning the attention of the cloaked ramen scrounger.

"Hey, kid, think you can handle 10 more bowls, on the house. If you can, then I'll make you our top customer, eh, to have your name on the Wall of Ramen?"

He wanted to leave; he had a strong dislike for crowds, probably from his earlier years. But being offered free ramen to join the 'wall', who was he to refuse. So he nodded, the chef beamed, and the bowls flew forth.

Kakashi sighed; yet again, he noted, as he pulled Gai who had swirling eyes behind him, close to unconsciousness. His clothes had small cuts and tears along it, while Gai's was missing a sleeve and the leg warmers were barely hanging on. They had held back, of course, Gai forewent opening the gates, and he had fought without his sharingan or his new bloodline. Best not to reveal all his cards, it wasn't only Naruto who benefitted from that trip as he was now a fully fledged S-class ninja in all but bingo book rank. He still had an A there, but it was best not to reveal one's full capacities, as they say, deception is the greatest tool of a ninja.

The spar had drawn out but in the end, Kakashi won; although, he looked back and winced at the scene, Konoha would need a new training ground 54. But all in all, it was nice to let loose and not kill someone with two strikes. Naruto didn't count, that child was a stamina monster even by Uzumaki standards. But then, he was a Namikaze, it was expected. The boy knew of his heritage, in fact, he would head to the Namikaze, mansion after dropping Gai at the hospital.

Speaking of hospitals, he had arrived. He entered spying the receptionist at the ever present desk; he walked over to her, taking note of the full body blush she spotted as she stared at him.

"Could you get him a room and a check-up" the woman nodded, broken out of her daze she pressed a button and a minute later a few nurses came in with a stretcher. Kakashi effortlessly hauled Gai with a strength belying his stature and just as unceremoniously dumped him on the stretcher, ignoring the man's pained groan and the collective grunt from the nurses bearing the man's surprisingly heavy weight.

As he turned to go while the nurses shuffled away, they receptionist called after him "Kakashi-san, don't you want to get looked at, you're quite banged up."

He tilted his head to allow his uncovered right eye scan the seated woman who squirmed under the intense gaze. Then he turned to examine a nearby socket, stuck his finger in it and as the current ran through him, he looked good as new. He walked out without anymore interruptions leaving the stunned receptionist to wonder what had happened.

Author's note: So, how was the story, read, review and lemme know. I don't believe in flames. Someone flaming a story means they've taken time to read through it and deemed it important enough to tell you it's not good enough. Just write better and impress your fans, so on that note, throw me your thoughts, I can take'em I have more where it came from but I want this to progress before I tackle anymore projects. I let ya'll know when they'll be coming out. GreenBar17 signing out.