It had been one month since Thanos had snapped away half of the universe. Tony was still in the spaceship with the blue robot alien girl, Nebula.
At first, Nebula had wanted nothing to do with him. She had ignored him for the first couple of days until he started helping with the ship. Over time, she had shown him how the alien technology of the Milano was different from Terran tech.
He had also become almost like a father-figure to her. Despite the hardened-warrior vibe she put out, Nebula was pretty young, about the alien equivalent of an 18 year old.
She'd told Tony stories about her childhood. About how it was growing up, being hated by her father, hating her sister. She told him about how Thanos had replaced her parts with machinery so that she could be better.
Tony hated Thanos even more for that. It reminded him of Howard. He'd been an awful father, being too drunk to care about Tony and too busy being caught up in his company. On that spaceship, Tony had done his best to make her feel comfortable. They played games and talked about their lives and the days went by.
-Line Break-
For all his acting of nonchalance, Tony couldn't sleep. Obviously, he had to sleep to stay alive but he did his best not to. He only sleeps for 2 hours a day, just enough to survive.
It wasn't that Tony didn't like sleeping or that he didn't want to. Quite the contrary, actually. He was exhausted. But sleep hadn't been easy in a long, long time.
First, it was because of Afghanistan. At the time, Tony had been busy starting his Iron Man career and could simply use that as an excuse for his lack of rest. The truth was, he couldn't lay down and close his eyes without feeling like he was back in that cave, terrorists holding him down as they carved a hole in his chest.
Then, once he was finally starting to get over his kidnapping, the Battle of New York had happened. Going through that wormhole and seeing Thanos' armies had brought back the nightmares. He'd been destroyed, practically losing his mind and driving Pepper away at the same time. Now they were just friends and it was because she couldn't handle the hot mess that was Tony Stark.
But, he'd slowly managed to start getting past that, too. He'd started sleeping somewhat normally, stopped drinking himself into oblivion no matter how much he yearned to. All for him. Peter.
When Tony had first met the web-slinging vigilante, he had decided that he didn't want to get involved. Children were not commonly associated with Tony and for good reason. The last thing he wants is another person to take car when he can barely manage himself.
And, until the Vulture, Tony had done just that. The occasional praise, taking away the suit when Peter was irresponsible and so on. But after hearing what had happened during Homecoming, Tony had almost gone into a panic attack. Peter had been stuck alone, under a fucking building, all because Tony had taken away his only method of calling for help.
Ever since that day, Tony had no choice but to keep a closer eye on the Spiderling. Then, the weirdest thing had happened: he started caring.
The daily reports went from patrol updates to what had happened at school that day. The visits to the lab to fix the suit had turned into spending hours building random things while rocking out to music. The odd night spent over had turned into Peter getting his own Star Wars themed bedroom in the penthouse. Now, when you look out at night into the Queens' sky, Iron Man was always watching over Spider-Man.
Tony had realized that the boy was a genius and gave him an official Stark Industries internship, certificate included. He had held a field trip when Peter had let it slip that his classmates didn't believe him. He had scared the shit out of Dash or someone, the bully. When May had to leave to Italy for a job in the summer, Tony had been temporary guardian. Tony had been added as his emergency contact. Tony had come to school for Career Day, not Iron Man, Peter had specifically asked for Tony. Straight A report cards were stuck all over his fridge, along with silly pictures of the two of them.
This boy, who was the human embodiment of sunshine, rainbows and puppies, had made him soft. He had literally turned Tony into a soccer-dad!
And now, he was gone. Thanos, that fucker, had killed him. Watching him crumble… no. If Tony dwelled on that, he would die of grief and Tony Stark does not do feelings. At least, until Peter.
-Line Break-
After those 30 days had passed, the Milano landed back on Earth. Tony stumbled out, legs going weak at the sight of Steve Rogers. Their petty squabble over the Accords seemed so stupid compared to what had just happened.
"I lost the kid." Tony breathed painfully.
The words hurt to push out, as he leaned against his old friend. Tony had tried to avoid saying it out loud, as though letting it out would make it true.
Steve looked confused. Of course he did, he didn't even know that Spider-Man had just been a bright-eyed prodigy child who had a future waiting for him. But, Captain America had to say something.
"Tony, we lost." Tony would have snorted if he wasn't so tired. There was no we. Hasn't been one since 2016 and Steve had chosen Bucky over him, leaving his father's shield lodged in his chest.
-Line Break-
Later that day, they were gathered in Conference Room A, looking at all the casualties that were directly linked with the team. A sharp pain, that wasn't caused by the Arc Reactor, seared through Tony at the sight of him. Peter's face, open and trusting even in an identification photo, stared back at him from the list of deceased.
Somehow, he and Steve started arguing, to the surprise of absolutely no one. Just like old times.
Things escalated so badly that Tony ended up ripping out his Arc Reactor into Steve's hand.
"You already broke my heart once. Here, I'll make it easier for you this time." Tony said, voice breaking at the end.
Steve looked horrified, staring at the tech like it was a real, beating and bloody heart.
Tony started to feel lightheaded, swaying on his feet. His treacherous eyes began to close.
"No, please." He thought to himself. "Not sleep. Anything but sleep. I can't see him die again. Please, not sleep."
Not without lack of trying, Tony fell back into rest and awaited the next nightmare.
-Line Break-
The orange sky seemed suffocating. Tony watched as Mantis, Drax and Quill faded to dust, not even realizing what had happened.
"It was the only way." Strange rasped, before he too dissolved silently. Tony released a shuddering breath. He knew the worst was about to come.
"Mr. Stark?" The tremor in the child's voice made him turn slowly. Peter was clutching his arms to his chest as if trying to will himself to stay together.
"I don't feel so good." No matter how many times Tony had this dream, those words hit him like a punch to the gut. No one so young should ever have to sound so scared.
"You're alright." Tony tried to keep his voice steady, for Peter's sake and for his own.
"I-I don't know what's happening." As he stuttered, Peter leaned on Tony, who wrapped his arms around him.
"I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go. Sir, please! Please, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go."
They were on the ground now and they hadn't even noticed. Tony brushed the tears away from his face as he cradled his head. Anyone but him. Peter was the kindest, most thoughtful and precious person to be created. Of course, fucking fate made him the only one who felt it. His fucking super-healing was trying to knit him back together but the effort caused him pain. So much pain. Tony wished for it to stop, for his mentee to go quickly, but there was no such relief.
"I'm sorry…"
With that, he faded to dust in Tony's arms. How predictable. Peter had been dying and in pain but still apologized to Tony. Tony who had let him die when he had cried, when he had begged, for someone to save him. At that moment, he wasn't a superhero. Peter had been a child who just wanted the pain to stop.
The dream didn't end there. Tony was left, crouched with his head bowed. The nightmare was cruel enough to leave him in pain, feeling as though his heart had been carved out and no terrorists and Arc Reactors could ever cause that pain.
"Peter! NO!" Tony screamed. "PLEASE! ANYONE BUT HIM! TAKE ME INSTEAD JUST PLEASE! PETER! NO! PETER!"
"Tony! Wake up! WAKE UP!" Someone shook him roughly by the shoulders, startling him awake.
-Line Break-
The Avengers were a mess. They'd all lost friends and Clint had even lost his family. Thor was sitting with Bruce, the two of them discussing quietly. He had lost everything, half of the Asgardians having been dusted away. After hugging Bruce goodbye, Thor left for Norway to take care of the remainder of his people.
They were still sitting in Conference Room A, where Tony had passed out. The usually cocky and egotistic billionaire genius had returned from space as a broken man. He had been quiet, his words rough and cracked, as though he was seconds away from losing his mind or bursting into tears.
After Tony had been taken away, the superheroes had been considering dinner, even when the world dies, you need to refuel. Suddenly, screaming echoed through the halls. It sounded like Tony.
Sharing a glance, Nat, Clint, Steve, Bruce and Rhodey start to run towards Tony's room.
Tony was tossing fitfully in his sleep as he yelled. "PLEASE! ANYONE BUT HIM! TAKE ME INSTEAD JUST PLEASE! PETER! NO! PETER!"
Rhodey grabbed his shoulder and shook him. "Tony! Wake up! WAKE UP!"
His eyes shot open and his hands formed into fists. "What the..oh God."
Steve was scared to speak, as though anything he says would trigger the man.
"You okay, Tony?"
"Yeah, you all, um, caught me at a bad time." Tony said, trying to play it off.
"Who's Peter?" Natasha asked softly. Tony tensed.
"Peter-he's someone that I used to know." Tony answered, as the others kindly ignored the tears forming in his eyes.
"Did we ever meet him?" Bruce asked. Tony chuckled quietly.
"The others did. You didn't but he would have gone insane if he had. Actually, I can show you guys a video of him." Tony suggested, looking slightly less distraught.
"That'd be great." Clint said.
They all sat down and got comfortable while Tony asked FRIDAY to activate the holo-screen.
-Line Break-
(Peter and Tony sitting in front of a camera, almost like a game show.)
"Welcome to our video. I have absolutely no fucking idea how this little shit dragged me into this but I'm Tony Stark also known as Iron Man. I'm the host of this show. To my right here is the aforementioned little shit, Peter Parker, my personal intern. Mr. Parker is also known as the Spiderling of Queens." Tony started, smiling.
"It's Spider-Man, Mr. Stark. Hi guys! I'm Peter and today Mr. Stark is going to be asking me questions about the Avengers!" Peter said.
"That's Spider-Man? Dude, he's a literal child! You brought him to Germany? How old is he?" Rhodey chastised.
"He would have been 17 this August." Tony whispered, all other comments silenced by the pure grief in his voice.
"Well, he seems like a great kid." Steve offered. Tony smiled slightly.
"The greatest."
'Who is even gonna see this? You can't tell anyone who you are so what's the point? Ah, the things I do for you, kid." Tony groaned, though his grin ruined the effect.
"Yes, the great suffering. I sympathize." Peter deadpanned.
"The sass, Peter Benjamin Parker!" Tony gasped, feigning insult.
"The sass, Anthony Edward Stark!" Peter responded in like.
"Oh shit! Now Tony's going to get mad at him! He hates when people are rude!" Rhodey fretted. Tony smirked.
"You little shit. You're lucky I love you." Tony mock-complained. His voice was soft enough to know that he wasn't joking.
Peter's smile got more genuine. "Yeah, love you too."
"What? Is this your son or something?" Rhodey asked, confused at the scene. Why would Tony be so nice to some kid?
"Not by blood but he might as well be. I was his emergency contact, he took me to his Career Day and my fridge is covered in report cards." Tony laughed quietly.
"You're telling me this kid turned THE Tony Stark into a soccer dad?" Rhodey muttered to himself.
"Enough of this mushy bullshit. So, here's how this works. I pick an Avenger and Pete here will give me his thoughts on him/her. First up, let's start with Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow.
Natasha leaned forward, interested in what the peculiar child had to say about her.
"Well, I think she's pretty cool. She had a tough childhood and you can tell that she always feels like she needs to do more." Peter began.
"How do you know that?" Tony asked.
Natasha frowned. How did this kid know that about her?
"Can't you see it? She has this sadness in her eyes. I see it in you sometimes, and in myself. Like there's some guilt weighing her down all the time." Peter said.
Natasha gasped. "No one's ever noticed that. This kid is too powerful, Stark."
"You haven't even seen his Puppy Dog eyes yet!" Tony groaned.
Tony looked at him in awe. "You're good with people, kiddo. Anything else about her?"
"Ms. Romanoff's a badass spy who was the first female Avenger so that's really cool. She probably knows like 30 different ways to kill someone with her pinky. Plus, she's a spider-themed hero too! She could be my Spider-Aunt or Mama Spider, you know?" Peter chattered.
Natasha cooed softly, tears springing in her eyes. "This child is so fucking precious. I would have loved to be his Mama Spider."
The Avengers looked at her strangely. "Oh just you wait! You'll all be sobbing over that kid!" She snapped, a smile still on her face.
"You're too sweet kid, never change. Okay, next up is Clint Barton or Hawkeye. What do you have to say about him?" Tony inquired.
"Mr. Barton seems like a fun guy. He is super underrated but he's really awesome with that bow. And people always forget that he's a spy too. He has kids, right?" Peter asked.
"You told him about my family?!" Clint asked.
"Just wait, you'll see." Tony said.
"What the fuck? How did you know that? Were you hacking FRIDAY again?" Tony spluttered.
"No, he just gives off that vibe. He seems to care a lot about you guys and I've seen videos of the team rescuing people. Mr. Barton always goes straight for the children and always knows how to handle them, even if they're crying and stuff." Peter shrugged.
"Peter has a good eye and good intuition. He can just sense stuff about people." Tony bragged softly.
"Wow." Clint said, having been rendered speechless. "He seems like a good kid. I wish I could have met him."
"Alright, next is the Star Spangled Man with a Plan himself, Steve Rogers or Captain America."
"Well, he's pretty cool, I guess. I can't think of him without getting angry because of those stupid PSA's." Peter groaned.
"What PSA's?" Tony asked.
"So, you've got detention. You know what you did was wrong...I'm sorry, I can't!" He trailed off in laughter.
"They still show those?" Steve buried his face in his hands.
"Oh yes, he made me watch them all." Tony laughed.
"You know, he reminds me of you. Brave, selfless, getting in trouble because he couldn't just stay still." Tony joked.
"Pot calling the kettle black, Mr. Stark. But yeah, he's the symbol of America."
"It's karma for all the shit you put me through back in MIT, Tones." Rhodey said gleefully.
"I'm paying more than double! All these grey hairs are from the kid. Trying to give me a heart attack, I swear! He could be one foot in the grave but ask if everyone else is okay!" Tony groaned fondly.
"Sounds familiar." Natasha deadpanned as Tony rolled his eyes.
"Okay, what about Rhodey or War Machine?" Tony said.
"I think Mr. Colonel Rhodes is kinda cool. Making his leg braces was so cool! Can you ask him if it was comfortable because I had a new idea for the style of the connecting joint-" Peter was cut off.
"He made my braces? This child?!" Rhodey asked incredulously.
"I helped but yeah. Kid's a genius." Tony said.
"Alright, slow your roll Spiderling. We still have to talk about Thor, the god of Thunder."
"Have you seen the man? Like I'm straight but dear God! Enough said."
"Honestly, I can't blame the kid." Bruce muttered.
Tony cackled. "Wow ok, I'm definitely saving this video. Last one is Bruce AKA the Hulk. What you got, kid?"
Bruce prepared himself for a lot of fanboying over the Hulk. That's all people seemed to care about these days.
"It's not what you're thinking." Tony whispered, unable to keep a grin off his face.
"Bruce. As in DR. ROBERT BRUCE BANNER?! He is my scientific IDOL!" Peter looked like he was daydreaming.
"Told you so. Peter's got a shrine to you in his room, I'm not joking." Tony said.
"What?" Bruce gasped, cheeks reddening.
"What am I, chopped liver?" Tony teased.
"You're a genius Mr. Stark but this is Dr. Banner we're talking about! He has 7 PhD's! I've read all his works at least a dozen times!" Peter was buzzing with excitement, bouncing in his chair.
"Maybe I should introduce you sometime." Tony said, smiling.
"NO WAY! This better not be a joke, Mr. Stark! Really?! I would die! Oh my God!"
"He's a really big fan, Brucie Bear." Tony said.
"I've never seen anyone so interested in me, not the Hulk. That child is an angel." Bruce's eyes were watering with genuine appreciation. Nat nodded knowingly.
"And now, for the final question: Who is your favorite Avenger?" Tony asked in his best game-show host voice.
"My favorite Avenger is…. Tony Stark!: Peter said dramatically.
"Iron Man's your favorite? Really, you're not just saying that?" Tony asked teasingly.
"I didn't say Iron Man, I said Tony Stark." Peter repeated stubbornly.
"But aren't those the same thing?" Steve asked.
Tony smiled, knowing what was coming next.
"But aren't those the same thing?" Tony inquired. Peter shook his head.
"Iron Man is cool and all, really, but you're the real hero. I've always wanted to be like you. I could meet all the other Avengers, Thor and even Dr. Banner, but you'll always be my favorite." Peter said, conviction filling his voice.
Tony was looking at the boy fondly. His eyes filled with tears at his words. "That's um, God, kid! Trying to make your mentor look like a softy? Make me cry? Jeez, I'm serious, never change. And don't ever be like me. I want you to-"
"Be better." They finished together. Peter smiled at the man, tears forming in his eyes at the way his words had affected his father-figure. Tony pulled him into a hug.
"And, between you and me, Spider-Man is the best hero." Tony mock-whispered.
"Thanks, he gets it from his mentor." Peter said.
All of the Avengers were silent. Almost all of them had hurt this man in some way and they had left him to pick up the pieces. But this boy had fixed him and made him happier in ways they'd never seen.
"Was it just me or was that the most sickeningly sweet thing I've ever seen?" Clint asked, tears pooling in his eyes when Peter reminded him of his kids.
"Definitely. I didn't even know I was an uncle!" Rhodey joked as they laughed.
"Well, enough of this mushy-gushy shit. You know I hate feelings. This has been Ask the Junior Avenger starring yours truly and our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man!" Tony announced.
"Thanks and see you all next time." Peter chimed.
(They wave at the screen, breaking into hysterical laughter and Peter reaches to turn the camera off.)
-Line Break-
The screen turned off and there was a moment of silence. Clint broke it.
"So, what happened to him?"
They watched as Tony paled and tensed, despair painted on his features.
"I got on the spaceship that landed. I was heading up to space when he was trying to get on so I gave him an Iron-Spider suit, so that he could breathe, and activated the parachute to send him home." He took a shuddering breath.
"But of course he didn't. He snuck in and told me that it was out of loyalty. I tried to ask him to leave but that boy is nothing if not stubborn." Tony continued.
"Apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Rhodey muttered.
"When the Snap happened, we were on Titan. I thought we'd be spared because all the others dusted away. But no." Tony had to pause there as tears started spilling over.
"Peter told me that he doesn't feel so good. He stumbled into my arms as we fell. He begged me, begged me, to save him. But there was nothing I could do." Tony sobbed.
The others were near tears themselves.
"He kept repeating that he doesn't wanna go, begging his hero to stop him from dying. And the last thing he said to me was that he was sorry. Sorry." Tony's voice broke off.
"Boss, if I may, can I just show them the footage of the scene? From the suit's camera?" FRIDAY asked gently, seeing the effect this had on her maker.
"Yes, please FRI." Tony mumbled.
The team turned back to the wall as the scene began to play. The exact same as his dream.
Clint was crying, remembering how his kids had dusted as well. But at least they hadn't been in pain.
The Avengers were horrified at the sight of someone so young, with so much life left to live, having to deal with this.
"Why, why did he feel it?" Steve asked, thinking back to how Bucky had died.
"His fucking healing power was trying to fix him, which hurts like fuck. And his Spidey Senses warned him before. He knew it was coming. He was waiting to die and he could feel it."
Tony was a wreck. "And, no matter what I do, I can't get this out of my head."
"Maybe you should get some sleep." Rhodey said, as the others sounded their agreements.
Tony shook his head mournfully. " I can't sleep. I won't be at rest until he's back."
"Tony, you can't work if you don't sleep! Why won't you rest?" Steve said.
Tony sighed tearfully. "Don't you get it? I want to sleep, to forget and to move on. God, I'm so fucking tired! But I can't sleep. I don't wanna close my eyes, in case the nightmares come back."