Welcome to Total Drama Collab! A collaboration between several writers in which each episode is written by a different person. In universe, the show is called Total Drama Dumb Stuff, but out universe its called Total Drama Collab because its more catchy. Anyway enjoy!(note written by DankLuther)
Total Drama Dumb Stuff episode 1: Fall Down, Break up(written by Uglyfense)
Chris: I'll make this quick! I got a random cast and invited them to join the new season, Total Drama Dumb Stuff, because I don't know why the audience randomly wants a new season. Some dumb stuff got in their brains... Anyway, here they come now!
Stephanie, Sadie, Mal, Tyler, Noah, Dawn, Heather, Courtney, Mary, Duncan, Keith, Lightning, Jo, Killer, Alejandro, Bjork the swan lady, the love-me-tea lady whose name is Fred, Staci, Sierra, Dwayne, Brick, Laurie, Harold and Owen arrive at the dock.
Sadie: Katie, where are you?
Dwayne: Wow, some independence. I'm doing just alright without Junior!
Mal: How fortuitous, I have been called back from the depths of non-existence, That anti-reset-button machine engineer... I owe them nothing, after all, I don't pay my debts.
Tyler: I'm gonna bring the dinner to the hmmm... Trauma Chair! Wait, that doesn't sound right…
Noah: You might as well bring it to yourself.
Lightning: Sha-What do you mean, sha-smart guy sha-2.0?
Noah: I sha-mean that you are sha-dumb
Dawn: stands in between the boys The animals need the dinner more than you. in your aura. It says that you mean the million by the dinner.
Alejandro: Nice to see you Heather, angry for no reason as always.
Heather: Ugh, I hate this show. Plus, who are these new losers?
Mary: I only got second place in one science fair. BOOM!
Heather: Whatever, hey, why aren't you in jail where you should be?
Duncan: Chris decided I was important for a new season, so he pretended he blew up it himself and "apologized" for framing me. Whatever, I'm still as bad as ever.
Keith: Um- hi?
Lightning: Sha-Who is this sha-new guy?
Keith: I am Keith, and I want to prove to my ex that I'm more than just a random plot twist.
Sierra: Keith, as in "My boyfriend Keith"?
Keith: Yes, and I can't believe Sky backstabbed me like that.
Sierra's face contorts and turns unreasonably angry
Sierra: You are associated with SKAVE! VERMIN! ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THAT MUST BE FIRST BOOT!
Heather: Someone is speaking sense, Skave bad, me and Al good.
Killer: Or I could use this chainsaw on him…
Killer[Confessional}: This chainsaw is actually a dud. I just don't like killing people. Okay?
Keith: I- I'll take being first boot.
Fred: Hey Sierra, want more love-me-tea.
Sierra: Cody wants me to just be friends, so no, I'll find a new crush later.
Courtney: Listening to these neanderthals is dumb, especially you, old lady, for that hammer! Chris, can you start the challenge or something now.
Chris: sighs Hmmm... Oh! Got one. Okay, the challenge is to pressure Tyler into breaking up with Lindsay. The order is chosen randomly, and the dude or gal who gets him to dump first wins immunity. Yeah, that's it. Let's see if works...
Chris uses an online randomizer to pick the order, the order starts off with Mary first, then Mal, then Laurie...
Chris: First up is... Mary!
Courtney: Wait, it's not fair because the contestants chosen first have an advantage, plus, the teams-
Chris: ERR! Just start talking, Mary.
Tyler: Hey wait, how do I win immunity?
Chris: Convince yourself I guess? Anyway, Mary, what do you have to say?
Mary: It is proved by psychology that being with a partner who forgets your name is not an optimal relationship. Therefore, the healthiest choice would be to separate yourself from Lindsay.
Tyler: What is Psychology?
Chris: ERR! Mal's next.
Mal: Break up with her or else…
Tyler: Dude, I survived landmines. You can't do anything to me.
Chris: ERR, Staci's up!
Staci: Yeah, my great-great-great-grandmother Francine invented breakups. Before her, couples stayed together for life!
Tyler: No disrespect to your late grandmother, but I just don't want to break up with her.
Chris: ERR! Laurie, it's your turn.
Laurie: Lindsay ate meat once. You, Tyler, and your spirit deserve far better.
Tyler: I've eaten meat at my hockey team meetings too.
Chris: ERR, Brick's up.
Brick: Never leave a man behind, but the code says nothing about 19-year-old girls, so there isn't really an issue, sir.
Tyler: But didn't you save Zoey along with Mike and Cameron?
Brick: Yes, but that was just to be courteous, comrade, the code only made me save Mike and Cameron.
Tyler: Well, I'm not breaking up just to be courteous as well!
Chris: ERR! Tyler, try to convince yourself or something or just break up. I don't care, just try to get immunity.
Tyler: I won't sacrifice Lindsay for immunity after all we've-
Chris: ERR, Noah's turn!
Noah: That girl is dumber than Zoey when she couldn't tell who Mal was. You're honestly better off without her.
Tyler: I value personality over smarts.
Noah: Then why don't you just date Ella?
Tyler: Um, Ella took over the island and changed the footage to blame Scarlett?
Noah: I think your girlfriend possessed you…
Chris: ERR! Lightning, you're up next.
Lightning: That sha-dude is so dumb!
Tyler: Lindsay's a girl, fellow athlete.
Lightning: He's a WHAT?
Chris: ERR! Dawn, it's your turn.
Dawn: I see in your aura that your mutual partner isn't Lindsay.
Tyler: Who is it then?
Dawn: Me!
Tyler: Um, no thanks! Backs away from Dawn
Chris: ERR, Alejandro's up!
Dawn[confessional]: Fine, my soul was being corrupt. I don't have the experience to sense partners, but it's not proper that Lindsay has a boyfriend and I don't!
Alejandro: Come to reason, Tyler. Surely this, points to his face, is worth more than her.
Tyler: I like girls, remember?
Alejandro: Okay, I was just joking,though, you are one of the best jocks ever!
Tyler: Really?
Alejandro: Yes, and who do great jocks go out with?
Tyler: Lindsay?
Alejandro: That's a good option, but I was thinking they are too good for anyone.
Tyler: That is true, I can teach Lindsay how to play sports.
Alejandro: But will she learn well?
Tyler: Yes!
Alejandro: Optimistic thinking, my good-
Chris: ERR, time's up! Owen's turn...
Chris's phone starts ringing.
Chris: What, I'm not allowed to say "ERR"? I don't care that it's annoying... Ok, so hosts aren't allowed to stutter by this faulty constitution that allows killing interns... Wait, Blaineley will host instead? Okay, okay, no more "ERR"... starting now!
Owen: If you do it, you can have this c**kie.
Tyler: It's already nearly gone! No thanks.
Chris: Okay you failed, the lawyers won't let me say "ERR" anymore. (Edited footage: The layers won't let me say "You know what" anymore. Harold is up next!
Noah: Like you just said it?
Chris: Um, intern, can you edit the footage, and Harold, go!
Harold: You've got better mad skills than Lindsay. Don't let her drag you down!
Tyler: She has madder bike-building skills!
Chris: You failed! Sadie, you're up.
Sadie: Katie is sooooo much prettier than Lindsay.
Tyler: covers chuckles I respect your opinion.
Chris: Lawyer, can I please say it? How come you don't interfere with killing interns but interfere with this? Okay fine! Sadie, you are out. Killer guy, it's your turn.
Killer: Raises chainsaw Break up with her or else!
Tyler: No!
Killer: brings it down
Killer: How are you still alive?
Tyler: Dude, I can survive landmines!
Killer[confessional]: Hope no one suspects…
Chris: sighs And the killer is out as well. Heather, your turn.
Heather: Break up with her, and you can join my alliance.
Tyler: I'll pass.
Chris: Anyway, Heather, you're out, so your rival, Courtney gets a turn.
Courtney: That Lindsiot is so mean!
Tyler: You already tried this in WT.
Courtney: No! That was just to make Duncan jealous, but Lindsay actually said that no one likes me to my face looks close to sobbing
Tyler: No offense, but she isn't wrong...
Courtney: So is Bridgette a joke to you?!
Chris: Speaking of which, here's a message from home from Bridgette!
Bridgette: Hi everyone! Hi Courtney, I have a part-time job as a comedian now. It even lets me tell jokes while surfing!
Tyler: I guess she is kinda a joke, or at least a joke-ster.
Chris: Time's up! Courtney, you are out. Keith, you're up!
Keith: Do you have dreams?
Tyler: Yes, I do. I want a gold medal in every sport!
Keith: Well, my dream is to not get first boot, so I can rub it in the face of my ex, Sky.
Tyler: (thinks for a moment) So you want immunity?
Keith: Yes, can you just dump her as a joke and then ask her out 2 seconds after that or something.
Tyler: Okay. Lindsay, I'm dumping you on international TV. Heh heh.
Lindsay(from home): NOOOOOAHH, how could you?
Chris: (shows live video of Lindsay's house) This is what your girlfriend thinks. Have anything to say to her?
Tyler: Okay, okay! I didn't mean it, I just felt bad for Keith. Want to get back together?
Lindsay: Who are you? And no. I'm already dating Tyler.
Tyler: That's me.
Lindsay: Oh right! Well, how could you break up with me, you jerk, and then just expect me to come back?!
Beth(from Lindsay's home): Yeah, that is like so mean.
Everyone looks at Beth on the videotape
Beth: What? Brady came back to me first.
Chris: Nah, dumping Brady after cheating on him is fine, but eating the c**kies... That was mean.
Beth: Hey, Owen ate more c**kies than me.
Owen: Heh Heh.
Owen starts to get beaten up by the other contestants.
Scene transitions to a campfire ceremony
Chris: It is elimination time. If you get a c**kie, you are safe.
Alejandro[confessional]: I prioritize strategy, but before that, Keith has to be first boot. However, I can't vote for him now, so I'll vote Duncan. He'll have to return to merge, and if Keith is out next, he'll be first boot on a technicality.
Duncan[confessional]: I'll just vote myself off. I know I'll return for the merge anyway, so I'll just skip as many painful challenges as possible. There's always time to prove I'm bad.
Heather[confessional]: Tyler. He robbed me of immunity, and he's not getting away with it.
Sierra[confessional]: Tricking couples into breaking up is wrong! Keith, you may have immunity, but I don't care. Don't come anywhere near me and the next person I plan to stalk.
Tyler[confessional]: How could Keith do that? I know he has dreams, but he doesn't have to ruin mine :(
Mal:[confessional]: Anyone who survives chainsaws is not someone who gets to stay. Tyler is a threat who will be taken care of, HAHAHA!
Fred[confessional]: Courtney sued me for rightfully throwing a hammer at her… she doesn't deserve tea… she does deserve first boot though!
Chris: I've tallied the votes, and Stephanie, Sadie, Mal, Noah, Dawn, Heather, Mary, Lightning, Jo, Killer, Alejandro, Bjork, Fred, Staci, Sierra, Dwayne, Brick, Laurie, Harold, you are all safe!(throws a c**kie to each one) Duncan, nice try, but you don't get to quit again. (flings a c**kie at Duncan) Why are there 2 votes for Keith when I said he has immunity?
Bottom 3: Tyler, Owen, and Courtney
Chris: Courtney, no one likes you- and Bridgette is a joke(ster)- but you didn't do anything too wrong right now, so you're safe (tosses a c**kie at Courtney)
Bottom 2: Owen and Tyler
Chris: Owen, you apparently eat more c**kies than Beth, not cool, and Tyler, you have proved to be a threat and rob many people of immunities… And the final c**kie goes to... Owen!
Chris: Apparently, eating cookies is just ironic and is rarely taken seriously, so Tyler, you have more votes overall. Anyone who resists a chainsaw can't be a floater… (grin bursts on his face) Kidding! Owen, people have soured more on eating c**kies, the real not-loser is… Tyler! (tosses c**kie at Tyler)
Campfire ceremony is over
Chris: I've brought in an all-new elimination method, the C**kie Jar of Shame, Owen, step in here-
Owen: Are there any coo-
Chris puts a hand over Owen's mouth and directs him to a ladder leading into a giant jar
Owen: climbs in I guess I had it coming for stooping to Beth levels. Hope my brothers don't hate me- AAAHH! (jar falls over, emptying Owen off-screen)
Chris: And time is up for our first episode! Stay tuned for next time. I'm Chris McLean and this has been Total Drama Dumb Stuff!