"Alright troops, this is it. The moment has finally arrived. I know it's been a long time coming. Heck, I guess some of you never thought it wouldn't be for a long time still. None the less, we've drilled and drilled and drilled again for good measure every day to make you strong, prepared for what comes next. My only regret is that I can't be out there with you, but even if I can't I know you'll all make me proud. Now get on that bus and show the world what you're all made of!" Lynn Loud Jr. ordered as her charges, the Fox Quintuplets looked on with determination that quickly turned to uncharacteristic sniffles and tears as they all hugged her tightly and balled their eyes out. "Guys, come on it's just summer camp. I'll see you in like a month."
"A month?!" The lone sister, Pam cried as Lynn wedged them all off as the bus driver waited for them to get on the vehicle. The five kids managed to get themselves together. "Okay. We'll do you proud, Coach Lynn."
"I know you all will. Pam, Stevie, Francis, Kyle, Richie, you guys got this." She fist bumped each of them as they finally piled into the bus and they got seated in the back so that they could give the Loud sister one final salute as they soon disappeared down the road to their destination. Lynn stood on the sidewalk still saluting even as they were out of sight as her best friend Margo walked up next to her.
"You know you can drop the act, they're gone." She said simply before tears welled up in her eyes and she cried into Margo's shoulder.
"I missed them already!" The usually tough Lynn cried as she pulled out her phone with pictures of herself and the five siblings. "I remember when Kyle performed his first suplex, the time Pam arm-barred me into submission, or the time Stevie broke his collar bone for the first time. So many memories..." She sighed with a smile as Margo could only give her an odd look.
"Lynn." Lucy appeared by the duo, frightening them as Margo jumped into Lynn's arms.
Not wanting her sister seeing her being so vulnerable, Lynn dropped Margo to the ground and quickly turned her head to clear the tears from her eyes. "I'm not crying! You're crying! I got sand in my eyes from practice! What do you want?"
Lucy ignored the clear attempts by Lynn to hide her emotional attachments. "I need your help. Flip's Food & Fuel is hosting a contest and the grand prize is four tickets to the traveling horror show coming to town next month. And this year they have a scaled down replica of Holmes Castle. I'd go myself but I just got a call for last minute funeral arrangements that need my attention the same time the contest starts tomorrow."
"Luce, I'd love to help you out but I've got plans tomorrow." Lynn complained.
"Not to mention, you've spent the last three days working with the Fox's plus our team practices. Really burning the candle at both ends." Margo reminded.
"Can't someone else do it?" Lynn said, having already got her schedule for the weekend planned out to the letter most of it much needed sleep.
"I've asked everyone of our siblings and everyone from the mortician's club is helping me out. Plus I've already paid the entrance fee. Besides, you do still owe me that favor."
Lynn rolled her eyes at the insinuation that she would owe anyone anything. "Pff, what favor?"
"Don't you remember?"
Six Months Ago
Lucy was waiting her turn in the bathroom line as Lynn was directly behind her, doing her best to hold it in. Finally, Lola exited as Lucy went to go in. Her older sister grabbed her by her shoulder to halt her advance. "Luce, let me go ahead of you, please! If I have to wait one more minute we're going to need new carpet. Come on, I'll owe you one."
"Sigh. I don't know..."
"What? You want it in writing?! Ugh, fine!" She dashed off with blinding speed and was back in a second with a pen and notebook and quickly scrawled out something on a sheet before tearing it out and giving it to the goth. "So what do you say, deal?" She asked as she bounced around to keep her bladder distracted waiting for the response.
Lucy looked down at the scrap of paper and then back to her sister. "I suppose..." Before she could finished her sentence, a blur of red and white had zoomed passed her and shut the door.
Present
Lynn looked around in annoyance. "I...I don't remember that."
"You gave me this coupon to cash in." Lucy pulled out the worn piece of paper that had Lynn's handwriting on it that read:
I will do whatever you say.
XOXO. Lynn Loud
Lynn's jaw dropped to the ground as she now had no way out. Margo chuckled at the turn of events, annoying her best friend. "What are you laughing at?" She demanded to know.
"Figure it's about time thinking with your bladder caused you trouble and not me. See ya. I'd help tomorrow but it's Saturday and that means date night." Margo casually walked off, leaving Lynn and Lucy, the latter having a small smirk of satisfaction.
"Don't you start." Lynn ordered as they left to prepare for tomorrow.
The next day Lynn had arrived with the family as they were dropping her off at Flip's. "Okay LJ, we'll pick you up once the contest is over." Lynn Sr. said as his daughter jumped out of the van and did a few stretches. She'd spent the night trying to catch up on her sleep but still looked pretty tired, especially since the contest started at 8 AM.
"You sure you can handle this Lynn?" Lincoln asked.
"Relax, Stincoln. Whatever it is, I can handle it. I doubt the contest will last more than an hour with me in it. I'll see you guys later."
"Thanks again, Lynn." Lucy said.
"Don't mention it." She still did her stretches as the rest of the family drove off. "Lousy coupon. Relax Lynn, you can win this and be back home to enjoy the rest of the weekend soon enough." The jock turned to see the large crowd of people gathered around the Food & Fuel and made her way over to the signing desk where Flip sat. "Flip, I'm here to take Lucy's place, she's busy."
"Okay chief, but you'll be paying the substitution fee." He said as he counted his stack of money from the other contestants. "Twenty-five smackers."
An already irritated Lynn grumbled as she dug through her wallet and gave him the money as he added it to his huge stack. "Whatever. I can still do this. I'm Lynn Loud. Any physical contest I'll dominate easy." She assured herself.
"And with that..." He grabbed a megaphone and got the crowd's attention. "Alright folks, time to start the first annual Food & Fuel Outlast-a-thon. The rules are simple; every contestant hangs on to the car here with at least one hand..." He gestured to a small compact car in front of the store. "You take your hand off the car and you're out. The last person hanging on at the end wins the prize. Good luck to our twenty suck...I mean contestants."
Lynn's eye twitched as she heard what kind of contest this was. She looked down and pointed at her bladder. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Lynn lined up with the rest of the contestants on the side of the car as everyone got ready.
"Well well, if it isn't Lincoln Lame's sister." Lynn turned to see the redheaded brat Chandler.
She responded by grabbing his shirt and getting ready to punch him. "You wanna say that again, punk?" A whistle blew in her ear as Flip pulled out a red flag.
"Hold on there, getting physical is an immediate disqualification, Loud. You only get one warning." The store owner told her as she slowly released Chandler and, with a forced smile, lightly patted him on the head. Flip left as Chandler looked smugly at her.
"Watch your back, McCann." She threatened.
"You tell him, Lynn!" She turned to her right and saw her old roller derby friend Polly Pain, leaving her a bit surprised.
"Polly, what are you doing here?"
The taller girl proudly pointed to herself. "I'm Flip's mole. He hired me to enter the contest and win so I can give him back the tickets and he can sell them online while still keeping everybody's entry fee." She stopped as she opened her eyes in realization though she still sported a smile. "And I probably shouldn't have told you that...I have a monkey." A small white monkey appeared perched on her shoulder. "Well he's not mine yet, but after I get my cut from Flip he will be. I'm calling him Frisky." The primate angrily shook it's fist at Lynn.
"Not if I have anything to say about it. You're going down, Pain." Lynn said as the horn signaling the start of the contest sounded and everyone placed a hand to the vehicle.
Polly smiled confidently as she and Lynn stared each other down. "In your dreams, Loud. Let's show her, Frisky. Up top." She and her monkey companion shared a high five as Lynn looked on, her competitive smile fading for a moment.
"Uh, Polly..." Her eyes shifted to Polly's high five hand which had been the one holding onto the car. Polly looked at her hand, then to the car and back several times before it finally clicked in her head.
"Nooo! How could you, Frisky?! I thought you were my friend! Mom always said never trust a monkey! Waaah!" She skated off, crying all the way while the monkey chased after her. Meanwhile Flip was busy banging his head against the wall of the store as his whole plan had come crashing down in less than a minute. He off course had to play it off as just part of the game.
"Well it looks like one of our contestants is out of the game already folks." He said through gritted teeth. "Wonder who'll go next. Anybody's guess." The remaining participants stood around for a good hour or so just hanging on as the cheers of the crowd had long since faded as people had set up lawn chairs and were purchasing overpriced drinks from Flip. Lynn was feeling a bit of fatigue from the little sleep she got but was being kept awake by the annoying sound of Chandler chewing his gum behind her. It was made even more frustrating that he popped it every so often before he decided to engage her in conversation.
"Might as well give it up, Loud. Those tickets are all mine."
Lynn scoffed at this as she turned to him. "Listen bub, no one is winning this but me. These other chumps don't stand and a chance and neither do you."
"Oh yeah? And how exactly do you figure that?"
The Loud girl smiled before closing her eyes and tensing her muscles. Chandler was confused before she let one rip, the smell instantly causing seven of the contestants to either fall over or flee in a panic. "Creativity." She said simply as the boy was wearing a gas mask. "Huh?"
"My dad works at a sewage plant. You're gonna have to do better than that." His response made Lynn grit her teeth as she was determined to take him out one way or another.
A few hours had passed since Lynn's "chemical warfare" strategy and the remaining twelve were still in place some had their phones out, working them with their free hand, Chandler included as Lynn was doing her best to keep herself active by jogging in place. She paused for a moment as she felt something off. Lynn turned to see the goth girl Maggie holding onto the vehicle and staring directly at her. The athlete stared straight back at her as the two locked eyes. Maggie squinted as Lynn did the same, then the goth opened her eyes as wide as she could with the Loud girl following suit. Both kept their gaze trained on the other as both seemed to not simply be staring at the girl opposite them, but staring into the other's soul.
Hours had passed as the two were still locked in their duel. Unlike Lynn, Maggie had begun to sweat, her eyes shifting slightly as if to break eye contact but she found that she could do no such thing. As much as she wanted to stop, Maggie found herself unable as Lynn's bloodshot eyes had her locked in place. A moment later, the black haired girl's legs gave out and she fell over, unconscious as the elimination horn sounded.
One of the last female contestants looked down at Maggie than to Lynn. "How did you..." Lynn turned to her, the brunette's eyes dry and red.
"I made the mistake of staring into Lucy's eyes once. Seeing the horrors that lie within that abyss changes you forever." Lynn said darkly, staring off into space as the girl slowly backed away and raced off out of the competition. With her down, half of the challengers had been eliminated as the day gave way to evening as the sun was setting.
"Wow, didn't think you'd still be here, dude." Luna said as she and the other family members had returned to see how Lynn was doing.
"Yeah, I thought everyone would have quit already. A waste of a perfectly good Saturday." Lola said before looking at Lynn. "Are...are you okay?" She noted the girl's tired look as her eyes were barely open.
"Yep, never better." Lynn's smiled as confidently as she could though her knees were a bit shaky and her eyes crossed a bit. "Where's Lucy?"
"Right here." Lucy appeared next to her sister who would have jumped in fear had she not been so tired. "I really appreciate you doing this for me, Lynn."
"Don't get too cocky." Chandler said. "She hasn't won yet." A hiss from Lucy was enough to silence him as he turned to mind his own business.
"Ignore him." Lynn told her sister as she shook her head to keep herself awake. "This is in the bag, little sister. You guys should head home. We're about to go into extra innings and I'm gonna wipe the floor with the rest of these chumps."
Lucy was a bit concerned for her sisters current condition but nodded and the family left as the contest continued into the night. Lynn, Chandler and the remaining contestants stood in their positions as they had to endure the night, trying anything they could to stay awake. Chandler stuck in a set of earbuds and played loud rock music to keep him up through the night while some of the others tried to talk to one another to keep their minds going. Despite this, two more fell out of the contest, Flip surprising everyone with the loud blare of an air horn. "You chumps are out of here!" He pulled them off as this gave Lynn an idea.
"Hey Flip, how much for the air horn?" Dollar signs flashed in his eyes and a short time later the girl had the aerosol filled can in her hands, blasting it near her every so often to keep her awake. It took her long into the night and early into the next morning. By this time, she was exhausted as she was severely fatigued, her eyes now struggling to stay even half open with large bags beneath them. "Kill me..." She whined as her legs wobbled. The world around her seemed to be moving in slow motion as she looked to her left to see Chandler still holding on while all but one of the other contestants was left now, the others on the ground fast asleep.
Lynn's legs ached, her arms losing strength and her head spinning as she felt she couldn't go on any further. "I-I can't do it. I just can't do it. Sorry Lucy." Her hand slowly began to slip off the car only to be stopped as a hand kept it in place. The athlete looked up in surprise to see a transparent blue hand holding hers and followed it up to see a ghostly figure above her. He had a short cut hairstyles, no shirt but a pair of boxing trunks worn just above his ghostly tail. "Who are you?" Lynn inquired.
"I am the spirit of H.H. Holmes!" He announced to her.
"Uh, then why do you look like Larry Holmes?" She fired back, her question annoying him.
"Because you don't know what H.H. Holmes looks like. Look, the reason I'm here is to remind you that this is for Lucy. You can't give up now."
Lynn groaned as she did the best eye roll she could at the moment. "But for once in my life I really want to." She fell on her face while her right hand was still holding onto the car and kicked her legs in frustration. "No Mas!"
A distance away among the spectators stood Lynn's friends Margo and Paula as they watched her seemingly one person conversation. "Oh boy, you weren't kidding Polly. Lynn's looking a bit worse for ware." Margo noted.
"Right?" Polly responded. "She might have beaten me but she's running herself ragged to win those tickets for her sis. And to think I was gonna waste it on a monkey. No offense, Frisky." The monkey was still perched on her helmet as he playfully pounded on it. The trio of girls looked on as Lynn picked herself up and had a tired look of determination on her face as she continued her conversation with someone that they couldn't see.
"We should probably do something to help her." Paula suggested as Polly immediately pulled out a large wooden mallet and wore a sinister smile on her face.
"Polly, I told you we aren't doing that anymore." Margo said as she forced the roller derby girl to put it down."
"You never let Polly be Polly!" She whined as the three decided to walk over to their bedraggled friend.
"Hey Lynn." Margo greeted her best friend who squinted through her heavy eyes to see.
"Oh...hey Margo. How was date night with Elliot?" Margo's eyes widened at the question that left her friend's lips.
"Are you...feeling okay? You never ask how my dates went."
"Don't I? I must be losing it, huh H.H.?" She says, looking up to her left. This caused the trio to trade concerned stares before Paula commented.
"Lynn, who are you talking to?"
Lynn chuckled a bit before putting her hand in the air, seeming to pat someone on the back. "Old Holmesy here. He was weird at first but he's good company, right buddy?"
"You know they can't see me right. I'm a ghost, or just a figment of your imagination brought on by a combination of sleep deprivation, dehydration and a sense of duty to your sister. Right now all you're doing is looking crazy in front of your friends." The spectral figure explained.
"What!?" Lynn shouted. "Why didn't you say something before? Now I look like an idiot!" She turned to her friends. "Can you believe this guy?"
Holmes sighed. "Once again: Can't see me. Your imagination. Looking crazy."
"Right." She turned back to her friends. "Guys, I got this. Look at McCann over here. He doesn't have much left." They looked over to see Chandler wide eyed and looking fresh as a spring flower. Polly, Margo and Paula's eyes shifted to their friend. "Not another word." They were all surprised as a whistle was sounded by Flip.
"Alright folks, we got a bathroom break. Same as always, get your keisters back here in ten minutes or you're out."
"Alright guys, I'll be right back. I've been holding this in all night." Lynn excused herself as she went into the small women's restroom, with Chandler walking off to enter the men's equivalent. As the latter did so, Polly spotted something on the ground that had fallen out of Chandler's pocket and picked up the small bottle.
"Hmm, jumbo energy drink, eh? He must have been chain drinking these bad boys."
"So that's how he's been able to stay awake this whole time." said Paula.
"Doesn't matter, Lynn is still gonna kick his butt." Margo said with confidence.
In the men's room, Chandler was shaking as his last energy drink was wearing off. "Great. Lucky I still got one...left?" He reached into his pocket and found out that it had fallen out. "What?! Come on! Well there's more than one way to beat Lynn Lame." He sneaked out of the bathroom and heard someone's voice.
"Come on Lynn. You got this." The Loud girl said as she tried to psyche herself up as she sat on the toilet. "I can still do this. Just a little longer." She let out a loud yawn as her eyelids drooped down before she slapped herself to stay awake. Hearing this, Chandler smiled evilly as he pulled out his phone and found an online video that played lullaby music 24/7. He carefully set it on the open window sill and left it to play loudly. Lynn perked up at the sudden sound but immediately became sleepy as she leaned forward slightly and began to snore as she'd fallen under the music's spell. Chandler walked off and got back to the car as he casually leaned against it.
The break was almost up as the trio of girls looked at each other with concern. "Lynn's only got a minute left. If she doesn't get back she'll be disqualified." Paula said before they heard Chandler laughing.
"Guess she fell asleep on the job." His response caused the three to glare at him before rushing off to find Lynn, with Paula hobbling to keep up.
Meanwhile, Lynn was dreaming of competing in a motocross contest as she blazed ahead of the competition on her dirt bike. "Woo-hoo! Out of my way, losers!" She was far ahead of the pack before one of them blazed forward and rode alongside her. They removed their helmet to reveal Holmes, much to her surprise. "You?! What-What are you doing here?"
"Seeing as how this is your head, I'm here to keep you from royally blowing it. You've probably only got a little time left before you're disqualified from the contest."
"Contest? Oh no! I fell asleep! And on the can, too. That's gotta be awkward for whoever finds me."
"Focus! You need to..."
"Wake up Lynn! Wake up!" Margo shouted as she had managed to pry the stall door open and was trying to shake her friend to consciousness. "Come on, kid. Snap out of it!"
"We've only got a minute left before she's disqualified." Polly said as she looked down to the bottled energy drink in her hand and made the call. She slid Margo to the side and poured the contents of the bottle into Lynn's mouth, helping her swallow as she and the others stood back. Within seconds, Lynn's body started up like a freshly revved engine and she jumped up, wide eyed, primed and ready to go.
"Woo-hoo!" She shouted as she raced out of the bathroom.
Outside, Chandler was waiting to be declared the winner of the contest. "Come on, she's a no show. I won."
"Hold on there, chief. She's still got thirty more seconds to make it." Flip said as he checked his watch for the official time. "And..." A strong gust of wind blew him over as he looked up and saw a wide awake Lynn already taking her position. "She's safe."
"You better believe it chump. I'm here and I ain't leaving until this loser is sent home crying like a baby." Lynn trailed off rapidly as she fidgeted around.
Chandler looked at her. "Hey, you swiped my energy drink!"
"A little tidbit," Polly said as she held the empty bottle. "Always check your pockets."
Instead of getting angry, Chandler smiled, confusing the group. "A little tidbit for you: When the crash hits you, it hits hard." Lynn didn't understand what he meant until several hours later when the effects of the drink had worn off and she was now more tired than ever.
Lynn groaned as she used the last of her strength to keep herself erect. "Polly, I'm gonna kill you." Polly cringed slightly as she hid behind Paula. Holmes hovered over her as he opened his mouth to speak. "Not a word out of you either."
The three girls looked to each other as Polly pulled out her mallet only for Margo to force it down again as the latter walked forward holding a tablet. "Hey buddy, got a surprise for you." She turned the tablet screen to Lynn for a digital greeting.
"Hey, Coach Lynn!" The girl perked up as she saw the Fox quintuplets on the screen in their camp uniforms. The five piled on top of each other so that they could all fit in the camera's view. "Yikes. You look awful." Kyle said as he got a punch from each of his siblings for his response.
"Guys? What's up?" Lynn said with a tired smile.
"Margo told us what you were doing." Pam said. "You helped us and we wanted to return the favor."
"Thanks kiddo, but I think it's finally time I take that L." Lynn had a defeated tone in her voice.
"Don't say that, coach!" Stevie shouted. "You're the best and you never give up. Just like you didn't give up on us."
"Yeah, before you, no one wanted to babysit us." Pam stated. "But you helped us out with our problems and thanks to you working with us we finally got to go to camp and we're having a blast."
"We haven't even set anything on fire either." Frankie added.
"Then what's that?" Lynn asked as she noticed smoke in the background. The kids looked over and rushed off screen as she heard the splashing of water and shouting before they came back on screen covered in ash.
"So...we still have a way to go." Pam said as she and her brothers chuckled nervously. "Still, we wouldn't have gotten this far without you. If you can help us, you can beat that red-headed loser and win those tickets for your sister." The four boys agreed with her as their cheers brought a small tear to Lynn's eye and seemed to re-energize her a bit as she stood up straight with a newfound determination.
"It's time to get...Lynn-sane!" She shouted as everyone watched on as Lynn and Chandler glared at one another and the contest was surely reaching it's zenith. Hours went by as the Loud family had returned and they and her friends, along with the many other onlookers waited for the winner. Everyone sat and waited for several hours as the two stood firm in their places. The end finally came in the late evening as Chandler's energy levels finally dropped to zero and he stiffly fell forward and flat on his face, with the crowd loudly cheering for the victor, Lynn Loud Jr.
"Lynn Loud! Lynn Loud!" Her friends and family cheered, lifting her up in the air. Chandler pulled himself to his feet as Lynn appeared right next to him with an outstretched hand. "Good game, dude. You're a real champ." Though tired and none too happy about losing, McCann offered his hand as she helped him up. He gave a confirming nod as he turned to walk off as Lynn's family gathered around her.
Chandler bumped into someone as he saw Polly Pain in front of him, the small monkey on her shoulder. "You know, Lynn let you off easy, probably because she was so tired and all. Lucky you huh? I have to admit you're pretty cute. Almost cute enough not to make you pay for trying to cheat her out of a win." Chandler smiled lightly thinking he'd avoided the consequences for his questionable actions. That is until Polly pulls him close to her, face to face as she has a mallet in her free hand. "Notice I said 'almost'."
The boy could be heard screaming in the background as Lucy approached an exhausted Lynn. "Thanks Lynn. I know this wasn't how you planned to spend your time, but I'm really grateful."
At this point everything looked like a blur to the athlete as she reached out to touch her face to confirm who she was talking to. "Eh, don't worry about it. I'm a girl of my word, Lacey."
"Lucy."
"Right, what did I say?" Lynn yawned loudly. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." She fell back, collapsing from pure exhaustion as Lucy leaned over her, a light smile on her face as she gave her sister a small kiss on the cheek in thanks, a grin creeping on the sleeping girl's face as well.
"Good work, kiddo. I knew you had it in you." Holmes said as he gave a thumbs up.
Lucy looked up from her sister to the specter. "Uh, why does that ghost look like Larry Holmes?" She looked puzzled as the screams of Chandler could still be heard in the background along with the shrieks of Frisky.
"Not the eyes! Not the eyes!"