Chapter 1 - You were my legacy

She had spent her whole summer in Paris trying to forget. She did what he did best and she ran. She couldn't face the heartbreak, the betrayal, the embarrassment. He had chosen Jenny Humphrey. Even Nate's betrayal over choosing her best friend hadn't felt like this. Her time with Louis this summer had been great. It was simple and easy and after the last year it was exactly what she needed. She had just said her goodbye, she hoped it wasn't their last goodbye. Even her dark knight couldn't compete with a prince and it was just what she needed to get back at him.

She walked into her mother's apartment and wondered if Serena had finally finished packing.

"Serena, I hope you're done packing; the car will be here in 20 minutes to take us to the airport." There was no response and Blair could feel herself getting annoyed. At some point Serena was going to have to start taking responsibility for herself and at least face the reality of what decision was waiting for her in New York. "Serena, did you hear me?" She went in search of her best friend only to find her sobbing on the sofa staring at her phone.

"Serena? What is it? Is it Cece? Eric? Your mum? Serena, please just tell me what's wrong?"

"Oh Blair" was all she managed before she pulled her into a hug and started sobbing again.

"Serena, what is it? You're scaring me."

After a moment Serena managed to compose herself enough to talk. "My mum called, she wanted to tell us before we found out from Gossip Girl or the news."

"Found out what Serena? We're heading back to New York anyway can it not wait until we land?"

"No B, it can't. I'm sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this."

"Tell me what?!"

"B, it's Chuck."

"What did he do now? Did he manage to somehow realise I was finally happy and getting my fairy-tale with a prince? Did he arrange for something to happen as soon as I set foot in New York? Did he get little Jenny Humphrey out of exile to ruin my peace?"

"Blair, he won't be able to ruin anything as he hasn't been in New York since before we left."

"Finally! The great Chuck Bass has finally left New York and left me alone to be happy."

"Blair, please just stop."

"Stop what? Stop trying to be happy? Stop trying to move on my life? Stop thinking I deserve much more than Chuck Bass? Stop thinking I can attend anything I want without Chuck having some master plan and tricking me into thinking I belong with him. That I'm just as dark and broken as him."

"Blair, Chuck won't be doing anything to you because he is dead. The first thing we will be doing when we return to New York is attending his funeral. Mum rang me so I could tell you before anyone else knew. I didn't realise she had been trying to find him all summer. We knew he had fled to Prague but apparently, he was shot. He died alone in an alley in Prague."

"Chuck is dead?"

"He left it to you." Lily repeated.

"What are you talking about? I don't want it." Blair responded.

"Blair, he left a letter with the deed. Maybe you should read that before deciding. He wouldn't have wanted anyone else to have his legacy." Lily tried to hand the envelope over to Blair.

"No, no, no!" She could feel herself beginning to crumble. She had tried to hold it together. She couldn't show any sign of weakness especially when he wasn't here to carry her. "I'm sorry, I just remembered my mother needs my help at the atelier. Fashion emergency for her next line." She ignored Serena's hand on her arm trying to either comfort or get her to sit back down and she got out of the room as fast as she could. How dare he? How dare he leave her before they could sort things out? They always did. Yes, they fought, yes, they did hurtful things to each other but they always resolved their issues and found their way back to each other but there was no way back from death. There was no way for her to fix this.

Serena took the envelope from her mother and ran after Blair. She knew she had been trying to do what she always did and put a wall up and pretend she was fine. How could she be fine? She couldn't imagine if she had lost Dan or worse, if it had been Nate. Yes, Chuck was her brother but that's not the same as losing someone you truly love. She knew her mother didn't have an emergency and knew exactly where she would find her.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Blair sat on a bench with some bread ready to feed the ducks. It was where she always came when she needed to collect herself. She sat down next to her.

"He would want you to at least read it."

"I can't. Why should I give him a chance to explain himself?"

"For the same reason you made him read the letter his father left him." She handed Blair the envelope.

Trust Serena to use her own actions against her and for Chuck to know exactly how this would have played out so she would read his letter. She pulled off the smaller envelope attached to the envelope containing the deed and opened it.

Blair,

I know you are probably beyond mad at me right now and the last thing you want to do is read some stupid letter I wrote to explain myself. Please, just let me try.

I know you probably hate the idea of the Empire more than me or maybe equally depending on what others have said about me since my funeral. No doubt, people have told you that there's no one else I would have left my legacy to but they don't know what you do.

The Empire wasn't my legacy, you were. That night in my limo didn't just change your life, it changed mine too. I know I haven't always shown it but you taught me how to live, how to love and how to be the man I could be. I know, without a doubt, the worse thing I ever did was treat you like property.

At the time I couldn't see that you were my legacy, not the Empire. Without the Empire I would have survived but life without you in it would not have been worth living.

Jack did what he did because he saw the idea of me loving anyone as a weakness. He saw you as my biggest weakness and at the time I was angry. Angry at him, my family, doing everything he could to get what was mine when he had already had you.

I was also angry at you for making me learn to love when I could have lost everything as a result. Even my own mother saw my love as a weakness. A way to get everything I had as her love for Jack was stronger than anything she felt for me.

I'm sorry, but most of all I'm sorry I won't be able to spend the rest of my life proving to you that you were my legacy. Please take the Empire, you are more deserving of it than I was. Don't look at it as my legacy but your own to prove to others that you are the most powerful woman I have ever known.

Thank you for everything you did for me. If it wasn't for you, I would have never known what living felt like.

Chuck

She folded the letter up and put it back into the envelope. For the first time since she had been told she finally understood that he was never coming back and she couldn't stop the uncontrollable sobs from escaping her body now.

She knew he wouldn't want her to wallow about him today. After watching him on the anniversary of his father's death she knew he would want her to wake up and act like it was just another day so she decided to honour what she knew would be his wishes for the day. He hated his birthday anyway. Growing up it was a constant reminder of what he had missed out on and the reason his father hated him from birth. Despite the confusing circumstances surrounding his mother last year it didn't change his outlook towards his birthday and the years he spent despising the day. Everyone else thought he enjoyed drinking and getting high to celebrate but she knew him better. She could see that he spent the day in a haze to numb the pain, the pain that in his first moment of life he had brought so much pain.

So here she was with her best queen B façade buying yellow roses. Not necessarily to go to his grave and remember him but to honour what they represented to him and to his mother and to the lie he grew up believing.

When she got to her intended location, she didn't know which grave to lay them on. His mother's which must have been empty because his mother wasn't dead; Bart Bass's a man that allowed his son to grow up believing he had killed his mother; or Chuck's when he would have wanted her to be anywhere else right now then shedding a tear over his death. Life was about living it and to Chuck it was about living in excess not mourning the dead. She knew if he was here, he would have kept his tradition of coming here on this day every year and laying yellow roses so she opted to split the bunch into three.

She started to remember the last time Chuck visited their graves. Of course, at the time there were only two. He was having a difficult time processing feelings because his father had let him grow up believing that feeling anything was a sign of weakness. It was the beginning of the end for their relationship and his life. She felt a stray tear slide down her face.

"Blair? What are you doing here?"

Blair stood routed in the spot she was in, she couldn't move, she knew that husky voice anywhere. It was his voice and if she moved the daydream would be over and she couldn't lose hearing his voice one last time. The last time she heard it she told him she never wanted to hear it again. The irony, the pain she felt was nothing compared to never hearing his voice say her name again.

"Blair"

There it was again. Against her better judgement she decided to turn towards the voice. It couldn't be, there he was, stood in front of her in jeans and a purple polo.

"Chuck?" She wiped the stray tear off of her cheek.