Chapter 1: A Broken Heart

At the sound of the back door slamming shut, Skipper, Private, and Rico turn their heads from their card game and watch as Kowalski waddles in.

"About time you got back. Where even were you? Picking through the scrapyard again?" Skipper asks as he passes a couple cards to Private.

"No, sir," Kowalski stops and shakes his head. "I had a blind date."

"Oh, did it go well?" Private chirps with a smile.

"No." The scientist sighs, "She never showed."

"Oh..."

Private and Skipper exchange a glance. Then they watch as Kowalski disappears into the lab and shuts the door.

Kowalski sighs again, slowly sliding down the door to sit on the floor. He looks at the small bouquet in his grasp before tossing it half-heartedly into the trash. He leans his head back against the door and closes his eyes.

His relationship with Eva had gone up in flames...literally. You only accidentally catch a girl's lab on fire once before she kicks you to the curb. Then there was the one awkward date with the Blue Hen he'd like to forget ever happened...Then there was Doris. He had come to the realization after their kiss on the dock, that Doris and he were never going to be a thing...She had made that explicitly clear the following day when everything had calmed down. If he wanted to keep any hope of being her friend again one day, he had to leave her alone and give her some space...Friendship with her after all, was better than losing her completely.

And now, this.

Not even a chance to screw up the potential relationship. She just...didn't show. She didn't even give him a chance to maybe not screw up. He had even tried messaging her back again, but she had deleted her account.

All the emotions in his head...in his...stomach? Could emotions be there? He certainly feels queasy at least, but perhaps that has some other cause. Regardless, the muddy emotions are hard to sort and think through.

He glances at his work bench for a long moment. Surely he could force himself to concentrate and leave the emotions on the back burner of his mind...Maybe he could invent something to help him understand that emotional mess inside more easily...An emotion-analyzer perhaps?

He hops up, steps over to his blank blueprints, and starts sketching.

A few hours later, Kowalski blows metal shavings off his newest invention and holds it to the light with a grin. "A beautiful little device." He points it, albeit hesitantly, at his head. "Three...two...o—"

"KOWALSKI!" The door opens and Skipper waddles in.

"AAAAAAGGGAAAAHHHH!"

In his surprise, Kowalski fumbles with the invention and slips. The invention falls, bouncing off the persona disentangler, and hits the floor. Both inventions go off with a flash.

Skipper blinks and looks at the scientist-scientists- before him. "Uhhh...Kowalski?"

The two Kowalskis looks at him and then at each other. "Th-that...That was not part of the plan," one murmurs. The other only rolls his eyes.

"You can fix this...right? I just need one Kowalski." Skipper then frowns, crossing his flippers. "What the Hoover Dam were you about to do anyway?"

The second Kowalski snorts, standing up. "I don't see why you're asking. It's not like you actually care." He just waddles past Skipper and out the door.

The first Kowalski looks like he's going to burst into tears. "YOU STARTLED ME!"

Skipper just looks at him for a long moment. "Do I need to repeat my question?"

This Kowalski sniffs, standing up and getting the plans. "Just an emotions analyzer...It was going to help me understand myself!" He starts crying. "But now I won't know if it works because I got emotional-persona disentangled!"

"What the kipper does that even mean?!"

"There are two of me!"

"Yeah, I saw that. Continue the elaboration."

"I'm guessing I'm all the emotions...So the other me must be apathetic...or something like that." Kowalski sniffs, pulling at his feathers, trying to calm himself. "So, so many emotions..." He starts crying again.

Skipper stares at him before sighing and rather awkwardly patting his back. He turns slightly towards the door. "Private, come here!"

"Yes, sir?" Private pokes his head into the lab and looks at Kowalski with a furrowed brow. "I thought he—"

"Yes, one of him did." Skipper rubs a flipper down his face. "Just calm him down while I search out the other Kowalski."

"Aye, Skipper." Private nods, waddling over and hugging Kowalski. "Oh, Kowalski, what's wrong?"

"Everything!"

Skipper rolls his eyes as he leaves.

Meanwhile, the second Kowalski wanders through the park. He feels...nothing. No sadness, no joy, no anger...just nothing. It actually feels...nice? Peaceful perhaps?...Calm. Without the background noise of emotions, his thoughts are quite loud...and very clear.

He sits down by a tree, picking up a leaf and examining it. It is just an Acer rubrum leaf, bright green with a tiny hint of red that comes with their fresh spring leaves. Nothing special. Just a leaf that fell from the tree above before its time.

He twirls the leaf by its stem for another couple of seconds before letting the wind catch it and carry it away. He watches the leaf fly away with a smirk. Like anything else stupid and unimportant, it is quickly carried away on a breeze.

"KOWALSKI!"

Kowalski then frowns, rolling his eyes. "Go away, Skipper."

Skipper marches up to him. "No, you're going back to that lab and you're going to fix this mess you made." He points his flipper at him sternly.

"Get your flipper out of my face."

"I'll have my flipper where I want my flipper, Kowalski. I'm your commanding officer, and I order you to get back to the lab."

Kowalski looks at him. "Your logic is flawed."

"Logic doesn't have anything to do with it."

"Then it's illogical and stupid." Kowalski stands up and looks down at Skipper. "You're acting on emotion. That's illogical. I'm leaving."

"Woah woah woah, leaving to where?" He frowns.

"To somewhere where there are other logical minded individuals. Pathos based decisions are flawed."

"You're NOT going to see Blowhole."

Kowalski looks at him and starts waddling. "You're still sounding illogical. I'm just going to ignore you, goodbye."

"Kowalski." Skipper narrows his eyes before just grabbing his flipper. "You're coming back to the HQ. I don't care if it's kicking and screaming. You're not yourself."

"Let go of me. You don't even know me to know if I was myself." He then snarls as he tries to pull away.

"I know you. This isn't you."

The scientist jerks away, with a dark look at Skipper. "You make many assumptions, sir. Perhaps being devoid of those accursed emotions feels more like me than I've felt in years."

"You need those emotions to be you, Kowalski. You're an overly emotional nerd. That's just what you are."

"No, that's the other Kowalski. This is better." He continues looking at him, thinking. "But alright. I will come back with you, but I am not taking back the emotions. I can euthanize that side of me and everything will be more efficient." He nods.

Skipper crosses his flippers. "You're not killing your emotional half. That's an order."

Kowalski rolls his eyes. "Whatever. But if he's a wreck in the lab, I'm leaving again."