Sorry if this is a mess? Tell me if its shit Ill rewrite it i was just fucking around and warming up

Enjoy!

Midoriya always had some trouble sleeping at night, sleep just evaded him. Sometimes he was jealous of Kacchan who fell asleep early and easily, passing out as soon as his head hit the pillow. Somehow though, Midoriya was the morning person between the two.

When he was in middle school, the doctor suggested some melatonin pills. The body created it naturally, the pills would just help out since he apparently didn't produce enough. His mother bought them that day and he took them at her request. It was like any other pill, hard and tasteless.

They were surprisingly effective, sending him to sleep easily. In only half an hour, the pills would lull him to sleep. It worked for years, that is until he started living in the UA dorms.

Call him irresponsible, but he'd always forget to pick some up when he went shopping. Once he ran out, it took him at least a week to remember to buy another bottle. Sometimes he didn't want to sleep. Sometimes his dreams were too much. However, recently, he always blacked out and avoided the sleep demons.

He'd absentmindedly told his friends one day, and got shouts of protest, shipping him off to buy some right away. They were kept in the cabinet in the kitchen, so now his friends were aware of when he had some.

The day after he took his last pill, there was a new bottle there to replace it. Hell, it was even a nicer brand than the one he usually got. These dissolved in his mouth and were rather sweet, making him want another. He assumed they'd have the same effect, and they did. If anything, they worked faster, which was weird.

He didn't question it that time, but the next time the pills were replaced before the last pill, his curiosity peaked. Someone was really paying attention, huh? It was odd since he assumed his friends would've told him they got him some melatonin, but these were placed silently with no note. Perhaps they didn't want it to be known.

Over the next couple of months, Midoriya found new bottles when needed, and recently a mug of tea could be found in front of the cabinet. There was no one else nearby, and it was his favorite tea, so he hesitantly took the beverage. He wasn't scolded for it the next day, so he did the same every time it was left for, he assumed, him.

It did help him sleep better, admittedly. He couldn't help but wonder who was leaving it for him and buying the melatonin. Hm.

Maybe one day he'd find out.

…

Midoriya couldn't sleep.

He'd taken the melatonin, he'd had the tea, he'd turned on the music. Why the hell couldn't he sleep? Someone once told him you can't sleep when someone is thinking about you, but who the fuck is thinking about him at three am?!

Sighing, he props himself up on the bed, throwing off the blanket and putting on his slippers. No one else could possibly be awake at this hour, it was so damn late.

Stumbling down the steps, Midoriya yawned scratching his cheek absently. It wasn't until he was in the kitchen that he was a figure in the common room. Shoulders slumped and elbows on knees. He could have been terrified had it not been for the tell-tale spiky hair the moon showed.

"Hello?"

The figure jolted, tossing him a surprised glance before standing up slowly and rubbing its face.

"What are ya doin' here, nerd?"

"I could ask the same of you."

Bakugo chuckled at that, wandering into the kitchen and plopping onto the counter. His eyes were tired, as though he hadn't slept in years. Midoriya could only assume he looked the same.

"I couldn't sleep," Midoriya finally replied, "Came down here on a whim."

"Tch. Didn't you take your pills and drink your tea?"

"Well, yeah, but...wait. How do you know about that?"

"I bought the pills and made the drink, dipshit."

Midoriya just stared at him for a solid minute, his jaw dropped. Kacchan? Kacchan was the kind soul taking care of him?

"Why do ya look so fucking surprised? Think I can't be nice or somethin'?" He scowled, but Midoriya placed a bit of hurt in his burning red eyes.

"N-No! I know you can be nice! You are nice! I just… forget you're nice to me."

His chest twisted painfully as he said it, gazing at the ground. He felt bad, knowing that Bakugo was trying to be kind and all he did was criticize him. He knew Bakugo cared, he knew he was nice, he knew he was changed, but damn if it wasn't hard to forget.

"What? Do you think I don't care about you or some shit?"

"You spent a real long time establishing you didn't, hard to forget about sometimes."

Ah fuck. Wrong thing to say.

He watched Bakugo's eyes widen, hands twitching. A fit was to be expected, explosions and curses being thrown about. However, Bakugo just sat still, staring at Midoriya. Finally, he looked away, swallowing before gracefully getting off the counter.

"Yeah. Okay."

And with that, he ran up the stairs.

…

If Midoriya thought he couldn't sleep before, now he was sure he couldn't. Guilt was eating at him from the inside out, and he didn't know what to do about it. He hadn't meant any harm, he couldn't have foreseen Bakugo's reaction. Curse his big mouth.

Alright, this was enough! He was a hero for All Might's sake! He had to fix this!

With determination, he got up out of the bed and marched to Bakugo's room. He knocked on it lightly, fully expecting to be ignored.

"What do you want?"

"Can I come in?"

There was no verbal reply, but the door was unlocked in a few moments.

When he went in, Bakugo was on his bed, back towards him. His shoulders were shaking and Midoriya could tell that he was holding himself tightly. He always did that when he cried.

"Kacchan?"

"Fuck do you need?"

Midoriya slowly made his way to Bakugo, sitting on the edge of the bed. Gently, he rested a hand on Bakugo's arm. He flinched under the touch, but didn't pull away.

"I'm sorry."

"Tch. It's whatever."

"Clearly, it's not."

The boy remained in his position, refusing to budge. Carefully, Midoriya made Bakugo release the death grip he had on his shirt. Words were useless with Bakugo, he was a man of action. Touch was something sensitive for him, Midoriya knew that, so he was careful with it.

"Kacchan?"

"Hm?"

Midoriya quietly stroked the blonde hair, watching as Bakugo's breath calmed, watching the tears stop.

"Sorry," Bakugo whispered, "Didn't mean to cry."

"It's okay."

Bakugo slowly shifted around, facing Midoriya and curling around him. They sat in silence, comfortable but with words left to say. With great caution, Bakugo reached out and took Midoriya's right hand, running his fingers along the scars. It sent a shiver up his spine, but he allowed it.

"Deku?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really think I don't fuckin' care about you?"

Midoriya jolted, eyes wide as he stared at Bakugo. His eyes wandered to the blatant scar on his shoulder. A quick glance to where the tank had ridden up allowed him to see the edges of the scar on his torso.

"I know you care, Kacchan. You made that clear. But sometimes… it's the little things. I don't expect the small gestures, I'm not used to them. I know you care, but with stuff like this…"

"It's hard to believe."

Bakugo finished for him, letting go of the hand and opting to curl his fists to his chest. The recoil hurt Midoriya's heart, but he couldn't blame him. He sighed, stroking blonde locks once more. It seemed to bring them both peace. They were no longer adverse to touch, which was an unbelievable improvement for them. Touch came easier than words for them, so a gentle hand on a shoulder or pat on the back wasn't abnormal.

Midoriya was starting to doze off, but Bakugo began to tremble once again, aggressively rubbing his eyes.

"Kacchan?"

"Just...Just ignore me, damn nerd."

"We both know I can't."

Bakugo choked out a laugh before pulling away, back turned to Midoriya once more. His tense shoulders shook with every sob and Midoriya was desperate to make them stop. He hated seeing the blonde in pain, it made him sick to his stomach.

"Come on, Kacchan, talk to me."

"I'm bad at it."

"We both are."

However, Midoriya didn't make Bakugo turn around. He simply shifted, resting his head on Bakugo's shoulder. Save for a few shudders, the blonde's breathing began to grow steady, lulling Midoriya to sleep.

…

Midoriya felt himself being jostled slightly, but didn't bother to open his eyes. His head was being moved to a pillow, a blanket being pulled over his shoulders. With a sigh, he snuggled into the pillow, not even remembering where he was. Damn, he'd be easy to kidnap.

"Comfy now, Deku?"

Oh yeah, he was with Kacchan. His rough hand held his cheek lightly, warm and safe despite the power it held.

"I'm sorry I made you hate me," Bakugo whispered, "I'm trying really fucking hard, Deku. I'll keep trying until I make it up to you. You don't have to forgive me, though. I don't expect you to, I'm literal shit, but maybe… one day… we can be friends again..."

Midoriya suddenly felt awake, but decided against opening his eyes, waiting to see if Bakugo continued. He didn't. Instead, an arm was wrapped around his waist, holding him loosely.

Slowly, he raised his own hand to pull Bakugo's head to his chest, pressing his nose to the top of it.

"I already want to be friends, Kacchan."

He gasped sharply, shooting back and getting as far away from Midoriya as he could on the bed. Hands clasped over his mouth, Bakugo froze like a deer in headlights. Before he could scream anything out, Midoriya opened his arms, silently asking him to return.

"My turn to talk."

Bakugo obeyed hesitantly, allowing himself to be wrapped up in the strong, scarred arms. They felt nice. Like home.

"I don't hate you, Kacchan."

"You should."

"Shhh. I couldn't truly hate you if I tried. Trust me, I did."

The blonde let out a little whimper, burying his face in Midoriya's chest. He was devastated to know it, even if it was to be expected.

"You are a part of me, whether we like it or not. I don't remember a life without you. I hated your actions, your words, but I never hated you. I don't know where you got that idea."

"It just made sense to me, I guess. I hate me. I thought I hated you."

Midoriya held him tighter, as if his grip could remove all his pain. Bakugo was curled into himself, just being held. They felt cozy, it was an intimate moment they never thought could happen.

"Deku?"

"Hm?"

"Will I ever be able to make it up to you?"

He hummed in thought, growing drowsy once more as he pressed his face into soft blonde spikes.

"You don't have to. It's behind us now, Kacchan. I want to keep moving forward. Move forward, with you."

"I don't deserve that."

"Such a shame you don't get to choose. We're friends, bastard."

Bakugo let out a brief laugh at that, finally wrapping his arms around Midoriya and letting his body relax. He wasn't at all satisfied, not yet, he wasn't done atoning. Deku was a naturally kind person, but that didn't mean he should just quit. He wanted to be a friend Deku needed. One he wanted. Even if that nerd insisted he already was.

"Night, Deku." He breathed, letting his eyes slip shut and falling asleep at last.

Midoriya laid there for a few minutes, opting to stroke Bakugo's hair. He knew Bakugo didn't like to get things without earning them, and he supposed Bakugo didn't think he earned his forgiveness. Bullshit. Literal bullshit.

He absently stroked the scar on the left shoulder of his companion. It was still fresh, it still made his heart ache.

"Goodnight, Katsuki. I love you."

He may have imagined it as he fell asleep, but he heard the softest voice whisper music to his ears.

"I love you too, Izuku."

fin!

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