Written for the Bronze & Gold Flash Fiction Competition in Dumbledore's Armada.
Thank you to my beta, WolfSquish, for their time.
My prompt was 'Xenophilius Lovegood'.
Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this creation.
Xenophilius Lovegood had never been a particularly affectionate or emotionally demonstrative man, but as he wrapped his arms awkwardly around his sniffling daughter, trying to provide her with whatever comfort he could, he knew it was something he would have to learn, now that her mother was gone.
With a sadness that permeated his skin and sank into his bones, he realised he wasn't actually surprised by this supposed twist of fate. The possibility of it had been staring him in the face since he was a child, Pandora had never let danger stop her from experimenting, even then. He had grown comfortable and complacent over time, though. He had allowed himself to believe in the happiness life had gifted them.
The world had always seemed like it was more complicated to him than to anyone else. He saw things others did not and consequently, seemed to grasp some magical concepts others could never even begin to imagine. It didn't win him any favours.
It had been no surprise that he had been sorted into Ravenclaw, though he remembered the feelings of disappointment that had come with discovering his classmates did not see the world the way he did. In fact, most of them barely tolerated him, except for Pandora.
Sure, she had rolled her eyes at his mention of creatures nobody else seemed to see and he had been certain that she was only humouring him most of the time, but she had never been unkind. She had had such a keen mind, complemented by her almost dangerous curiosity. It was no wonder he had immediately wanted to get as close to her as she would allow him to get, if only to absorb some of her brilliance. Some part of him must have understood she was an accident waiting to happen, but she shone so brightly he couldn't help himself.
As the years passed, their friendship had been the only thing to get them through school. Their classmates called her reckless; they called him crazy. But when they were alone together, they could be themselves. It hadn't been a far cry from there to love, though it had never become the kind of all-consuming love that made people lose their senses. Instead, it was a steady, practical, mutual affection that suited them both and made their co-dependence more palatable to outsiders.
They had married as soon as they left school.
Their life had quickly settled into a routine that quite resembled their best times together at Hogwarts. Pandora had immersed herself in her experimental spell research and Xenophilius had started pouring himself into his dream of publishing his own periodical about magical creatures. They had found a comfortable partnership in each other, though their connection was more intellectual, and occasionally physical, than emotional.
He had been planning his first expedition abroad for research when the news of their impending parenthood had changed everything. Temporarily shelving his dreams in favour of predictable work in a bookshop had been the easy part. But once Luna had been born, his wife had finally lost her patience with him.
All the talk of imaginary creatures would confuse the child, she had insisted. He was a grown man with a family to care for, wasn't it time for him to put aside his childish beliefs?
He wasn't really certain what it had cost him, to finally understand that his wife, his only friend, had never believed him and to subsequently shut that part of himself out, to please her. Thinking back on the misery of his school years, he had decided he didn't want to subject his child to the ridicule he had endured and carefully avoided mention of his particular gifts in anything but his private research journals.
As Luna had started to grow into a perfect little replica of her mother, she had also begun to show similar affinities to his own, especially those pertaining to secretive magical creatures and his unnerving insight into the world around them. She seemed to have noticed on her own that Pandora did not see the things she did and avoided upsetting her. But she had mentioned to him recently that she didn't understand why he pretended not to be aware, smiling secretly when he claimed not to understand what she was speaking of. At the time, he'd reflected on how the subject would need to be addressed.
He had all but forgotten that conversation since he had found himself standing in the rubble of his wife's laboratory contemplating single parenthood, only a week ago.
Shaking his head gently, he tried to clear his muddled mind as Luna's sniffles lessened.
"I miss her, Daddy. I wish she was coming home!" Her little voice broke through their silence, leaving him feeling bereft of the words he needed to help her.
What was a father supposed to say to a child whose mother had gone and blown herself up? This hadn't been covered in the parenting books he had read. He smoothed her hair down with a trembling hand.
"I'm so sorry, little moon. I miss her, too."
Bright blue eyes looked up at him sadly before narrowing as she frowned.
"Why do they swarm around our heads like this when we're already feeling confused? They make it so difficult to think clearly!" Luna lamented.
Xenophilius froze. It had become a habit to bury these thoughts within himself, but if they only had each other left to rely on, the least he could do was tell her the truth. He took a deep, steadying breath and took her small hand between his own.
"Well, these are called Nargles," he said slowly. "They like to hang around when we're feeling confused or uncertain. There hasn't been enough research yet for us to know exactly why. It seems we both have quite an infestation, don't we!"
Luna smiled at him and a spark of curiosity lit her face.
As she furrowed her brow in concentration, clearly trying to organise her thoughts and probably preparing to bombard him with questions, he couldn't help but think of how right this felt. Perhaps, he needed to be true to himself as well. They still had two years until Luna was set to leave for Hogwarts, that was plenty long enough for them to go exploring together.
And it was high time he pulled out his old printing press to see if he could get it running again.