The Sparrow's Nest

by TerryBalls

Following on from "What I Did In My Midlife Crisis by Sally Sparrow" and "Silents In The Library", Sally wants to connect with other people. The TARDIS takes her to Róisín, and they fall in love. Can Sally balance life in the TARDIS with her love life?

A/N: This is the sequel to "What I Did In My Midlife Crisis By Sally Sparrow" and "Silents In The Library". It should be understandable without them.

In comparison, this story is relatively slow and focused more on character drama and romance. Part 4 will return to an emphasis on worldbuilding and sci-fi. My stories first appear on ao3 and are also posted on tumblr (follow TerryBalls).

Chapter 1

"Doctor?" said Sally, somewhat apprehensively. The TARDIS was in flight, and the Doctor was down on a lower deck, apparently in the midst of repairs, while Sally sat on the steps.

"Sally?" said the Doctor, mimicking her rising inflection.

"I was… thank you, for the book spa. It was marvellous. The galleries, the museums, the deserted paradise planets – wonderful. But… could you maybe… Doctor, I want to connect with other people."

"You can connect with me! Sally Sparrow, what is on your mind?"

"That's just it, Doctor… I want to connect with someone around my age. And species. And… eligible."

"Ah," said the Doctor. "OK, I see where this is going." There was a twinkle in his eye and a grin across his face. Oh no. "Come on," the Doctor said, as he bounded up the stairs past Sally. She followed him up to the main deck of the control room, around the central console. Once again, the Doctor revealed the telepathic circuits.

Why is it always telepathy with the Doctor? Sally asked herself, but she stuck her hands into the circuits anyway. The TARDIS's central column began to rise and fall.

"Woah, careful, you could damage something!"

"You said it was like walking down the stairs."

"It is! But you wouldn't hop down the stairs blindfolded with both hands tied behind your back. A human could never manage that. Oh well. It seems to have worked out this time. Sally, our aim here is to find exactly the person you need right now."

"You mean… like a soulmate?"

"There's no such thing as souls and definitely no such thing as soulmates. There are millions of people across space and time that you could be extremely happy with. However, nonetheless, it is true that there are a small number of individuals who will make you unusually extremely happy at a given point in your life. For most people, there's almost no chance of meeting them at the right time. But you've got me, and I've got the TARDIS. So…"

The central column stopped moving. They had landed. They left the TARDIS. It had brought them to a street that Sally recognised as distinctly British – English shops, cars driving on the left, and paving stones that couldn't be anywhere else. By the same token, it wasn't recognisable as any specific British place. The buildings were taller and denser than Sally would expect, and there was nothing that immediately gave away the city to Sally's untrained eye. The weather was brisk and overcast, which could be anywhere in the British Isles at any time of year. The café they were stood outside was not one of the chains that Sally was familiar with, but its name – Simply Coffee – was the most generic name possible. The Doctor, of course, knew exactly where they were.

"Manchester. September 2067. Hamilton Academicals are top of the SPL, but Kilmarnock will go on to win the league. We've just missed the hundredth anniversary of the summer of love. Last year was the hundredth anniversary of England's first World Cup win and the thousandth anniversary of the Battle of Hastings. And November 2063 was the hundredth anniversary of…"

"Doctor, who are we here to see?"

"… the Kennedy assassination. Sorry," he said, noticing the alarm on Sally's face, "just finishing my previous thought. Honestly, I think you should just do whatever you want. In theory, the TARDIS has put us down in the most natural place for you to meet this someone."

"But… it could be any of these people, rushing past!"

"If it is, then they'll bump into you. Don't worry about it. Just relax and have faith in the TARDIS. It found Barry, didn't it?"

"In that case," said Sally, "I would like a coffee. It's chilly."

They went in the coffee shop. There was a short line. Sally scanned the board above the counter to try and select her order. The options were not quite the ones she was used to. It seemed like she was limited to cappuccino with her choice from a wide range of milks.

"Hi, can I take your order?" said a woman's voice with an accent that was somewhere between New York and London. Sally looked at the server and was momentarily struck dumb. Her server was absolutely gorgeous. She had dark brown hair, and big blue doe eyes, and the loveliest smile Sally had ever seen. Her name badge said Róisín.

"Yes, hello," said the Doctor. "I will have a venti skinny decaf quad caramel no-whip iced hazelnut macchiato with extra cream."

"I can give you a decaf hazelnut cappuccino with extra cream?"

"The TARDIS must have made a mistake," the Doctor whispered to Sally, "nothing good can ever happen in a place as terrible as this."

"I-I'll have a cappuccino, thanks," said Sally. "Sorry about my dad, he's a little stuck in his ways."

"No problem!" said Róisín, flashing a dazzlingly white smile. Sally's heart fluttered away in her chest. She told herself that Róisín was just being polite, that it was her job to make customers feel appreciated, but she couldn't stop herself crushing hard on the girl. They shuffled to the side while the next customer gave their order to the next server.

"Decaf hazelnut, extra cream, and a cappuccino?" Róisín announced. The Doctor and Sally stuck their hands up. Róisín beamed at them and handed over the cups. "Have a great day, gorgeous," she said, with a wink.

"You too," said the Doctor, tapping his psychic paper against the card reader, and he hurried Sally out of the shop. "What a waste of time. Best thing about the 2020s is the options for coffee, and now you've gone and regressed back to the 90s. Humanity's capacity for depravity never fails to surprise me."

Sally could only mumble agreement. She was still stunned by her encounter with Róisín. She was used to unwanted attention from men – it was rare for a day to go by without a stranger trying to flirt with her – but to her surprise, she found that she liked Róisín's affection.

"We'll have to try again," said the Doctor, who had already downed his coffee and thrown his cup in the recycling and was now unlocking the TARDIS. "Sometimes the TARDIS gets things wrong, but if we give it a few goes then eventually she'll find someone you like."

Sally took a sip of her coffee. It was very good, rich and aromatic. Then she had a proper look at the cup. "Doctor," she said, and she turned it towards the Doctor, who was stood in the threshold of the TARDIS.

Hey cutie – call me. 07700900796. Róisín.

"Oh. Oh. Oh. That's the last time I doubt you, dearest," he said to the blue box.

"What do I do?" said Sally.

"Well, you call her…" said the Doctor.

"I can't call her now, she just served me, she's at work…"

"Then it's a good job we have a time machine," said the Doctor, stepping into the TARDIS. Sally followed, and they hopped forward. It was dark. Sally pulled out her mobile – remarkably, it still had signal and credit. She called Róisín's number.

"Hello?" It was definitely her, the mid-Atlantic accent was a giveaway. She sounded a little tired.

"Róisín? You served me earlier and gave me your number…"

"Oh, hey, gorgeous, I didn't think you were going to call!" Róisín had immediately brightened up.

"Yeah, er, hi, my name's Sally… I was wondering if you'd like to go for coffee?"

"Well, I work in a coffee shop, and it's late, so how about dinner?"

"Di- dinner. Yes. Dinner would be great. Where do you want to go?"

"How about Marco's for 7:30?"

"Marco's, 7:30, sounds good. Looking forward to seeing you." Sally had butterflies in her stomach. She felt like an excited teenager. Was this what love was supposed to feel like? Sally had spent years living with Larry because it felt like the natural thing to do, but she hadn't been truly happy. She'd felt safe around Larry. He was fundamentally a good man. But if Sally had known that feeling like this had been an option, she would have left him a long time ago.

The Doctor showed Sally to the TARDIS wardrobe, and she sorted through the clothes to find something to wear for her date. Almost everything there was too masculine. She recognised the suit the Doctor had been wearing on the DVD Easter Eggs all those years ago, but for every suit there was a gaudy number or something with too many question marks. She did find women's clothes after a while, but most of them were either too small or for someone both taller and thinner than Sally. There were period costumes, but that seemed inappropriate. There were clothes that were probably intended to be practical, but Sally couldn't work out what purpose you'd ever actually need them in. And just as Sally was about to give up and go in what she was wearing, she found the perfect ensemble.

The TARDIS landed in exactly the right spot, outside the only restaurant in the city called "Marco's". The Doctor had tripled-checked that they had also got exactly the right time. Sally swaggered out wearing a brown faux-leather jacket, plain white t-shirt, and an emerald midi skirt. She strode into the restaurant. She was feeling very nervous, but, well, if hallucinating Esmerelda Weatherwax had taught her anything it was that confidence was 90% bravado. She stood by the door of the restaurant as a waiter approached her.

"Hi," said Sally. "I'm supposed to be meeting someone here, she's possibly the prettiest woman in the world, have you seen her?"

The waiter smiled at her. "I know who you mean. I wanted to seat her in the window, but she asked to be placed upstairs. She described you the same way you described her."

Sally's heart did a somersault. She knew Róisín found her attractive, but this was going better than she had possibly expected. The waiter showed Sally upstairs and to a table where Róisín was perusing the drinks menu. She looked up and beamed at Sally, standing and giving her a hug hello.

"I'm so glad you came," Róisín said.

"There was no way I wouldn't."

They sat and drank a rich-bodied Burgundy that Róisín picked herself.

"So, Róisín," said Sally, rolling the name along her tongue as she swirled her wine in the glass. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, there's not a huge amount to tell," said Róisín. "I was born near Toronto. Went to McGill and majored in astrophysics…"

"Wait, seriously?"

"Oh yeah. I'm not just a pretty face."

"So how did you end up in Manchester?"

"Well, my mom was British, so I had always thought about studying here. Did a Masters at the University of Manchester, and now I'm working as a barista while I wait for opportunities. What about you?"

"I did a literature degree. My parents both died when I was in my early 20s. Spent a few years floating around and living off the inheritance, started an antiquarian bookshop, it failed, and since then I've been travelling."

"I'm sorry about your parents."

"Thanks. It was a long time ago, and they were quite old. I was adopted in infancy, and they were quite a bit older than most parents."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't suck."

"Yeah. Yeah, it sucked."

"The guy you're travelling with…"

"Oh, er…" This was already not going well – mentioning dead parents on a first date? Sally was kicking herself. She didn't want to lie to Róisín, but she really didn't want to explain the Doctor. "He's… he's my biological father. I reached out after… well. He's a total riot. Would have made a terrible father but a fantastic uncle. I see a lot of myself in him."

"I'm sure you'd make a fantastic uncle."

Sally laughed.

"So, travelling. Been to anywhere special?"

"Oh, here and there. Lots of culture. Libraries and theatres and gigs, that sort of thing."

"That must be really nice."

"Oh, it is. I've really learned a lot about myself. Don't know how long it's going to go on for, but don't know if I'll ever get the chance to stop. And I don't know what I'd do if I did." She paused for a second in thought. "What about you? What are your plans?"

"Well, first and foremost I want to get a job in astrophysics, somehow," said Róisín. "I'm not fussy right now, but ideally I'd like to work at the Shackleton Crater."

"The Shackleton Crater?"

"You know – the permanent Moonbase?"

Sally tried to keep the surprise off her face. There was a permanent Moonbase? In 2021, it seemed like humanity had lost interest in the Moon. If people talked about space, they tended to talk about Mars, which was new and exciting and also impossibly remote. The Moon was very 20th Century, not the sort of thing that it seemed there was any long-term interest in. "Oh, of course. That would be pretty incredible."

"Yeah… yeah, it would. But if that's not an option… I don't know. Any job that uses my skills will do. Settle down, raise a normal Earth family in a normal Earth apartment in a normal Earth city."

"You make marital bliss sound so sad."

"Oh, I like sad. It's-"

"-Happy for deep people." They said it together. It was almost imperceptible, but Sally was sure that Róisín licked her lips.

Chapter 2

Sally was relieved to see that the TARDIS was still sat outside Marco's the next morning. She crept inside. There was a bright flash of sparks below decks. The Doctor was hanging in a swing, wearing welding goggles and adjusting the TARDIS's wiring. Sally walked down the staircase to him.

"Hi, Doctor," she said.

"Sally!" said the Doctor, raising his goggles. "How was your date?"

"Well, I only just got back…"

"And… erm… how long were you gone?" The Doctor's eyes widened in realisation. "Oh. Oh. Are you trying to do the walk of shame?"

Sally tried to object, but only nonsense came out of her mouth.

"For what it's worth, Sally, there is no need for anyone to be ashamed in here. Well, there is, but not for that reason. There is nothing wrong with sexual relations where everyone gives full, informed, and enthusiastic consent." He paused. "You'll forgive me, but I sometimes lose track of the development of human attitudes towards sexuality. Are you experiencing shame?"

"I'm not, no. Not about sex, anyway. I mean, I would prefer to keep my private life private, in general, but that's not because I feel ashamed."

"Right, good," said the Doctor. "I won't pry, it's just… it's important to me that you feel comfortable and confident in who you are. Your species has a lot of hang-ups that I can't claim to fully understand, and I want you to know that they are nonsense."

"Thanks Doctor," said Sally. She sat down on the stairs and watched the Doctor work. It was noticeable that he paid a lot of care and attention to the wires and fixtures he was adjusting, gently easing one connector out of its socket and into another. It was almost tender. "I hope you don't mind me asking, Doctor, but… how do relationships work for your people?"

"Ah," said the Doctor. "It's a long and contradictory story. Frankly the contradictions are the best bits." He looked her in the eye. "I don't mind spelling out the broad strokes for you, but we might want to find somewhere more comfortable to sit."

Sally was very glad for the glass of gin and tonic that the Doctor had poured her. He was sipping on a glass of single malt as he recounted his romantic history, which seemed to consist of a string of forbidden loves, multiple personal histories being entirely rewritten, and whole grandchildren who may have actually been hallucinations.

"So obviously that was quite traumatic for all three of us," he said, lounging on one of the sofas in the TARDIS drawing room. "After Jamie I didn't kiss anyone for several thousand years, in which time I regenerated four times. Then when I regenerated the fifth time I overcompensated a bit and immediately started kissing people all over the place. That was also the first time I stopped having a stable gender identity. I slept with my friend Benny and found that I actually quite liked sex in that body. I married this young woman called Scarlette largely for ritualistic purposes, but she knew what she was getting into. Fitz was very special to me, and Charley. I met Susan a couple of times, and in the first she and David had adopted a few children, which makes sense because humans and Time Lords can't interbreed, but then the second time the adopted children were gone and instead she had a son called Alex. Then Alex died and I stopped wanting to kiss people. Then I was under the impression that I had committed genocide against my entire species, but it turned out that was about as far from true as possible, but in the mean time I may have started kissing humans again – that's about when you met me, actually. Erm, then I married Elizabeth I, and Marilyn Monroe, and then last but not least, there was River Song."

"OK, so… your life is very long and confusing."

"That's a fair summary."

"How did you maintain relationships with Elizabeth or Marilyn when you were travelling through time?"

"Well, I mostly didn't. Soon enough the tide of history would rise and wipe me away from their lives."

"Is the tide of history a rhetorical device or something I should actually be worried about?"

"A rhetorical device. There's no tide to the web of time, but, well, time travel is a lot like footprints in the sand. When you time travel you inevitably affect the course of history, including your own. The things you have done are gradually wiped away. They stay in your memory, of course, but not in the memories of the people who you haven't been travelling with. The TARDIS – or any time machine - is like the eye of the storm. It stays calm while the universe rages."

"And that must make sustaining a relationship… pretty hard."

"Yes, I think that's fair," the Doctor said. He glanced upwards. "It was a bit different with River, of course, because we were both time travellers, independent of each other. That made things complicated and caused a lot of drama, but it made the relationship fundamentally tenable. I suppose it used to be the same with the Master. She calls herself Missy now, which seems unnecessary to me, but I respect her choice. When only one of you is a time traveller, the relationship effectively has to end when you travel away. I've had people who travelled with me while their partner stayed away – never worked. Only time it did work was when Amy and Rory were both travelling with me."

"So… I mean, surely there's wiggle room? I still remembered you when you showed up at my place."

"Well, yes, but I was a very different person. The experience of travelling with me tends to change people. Would you go back to Larry now?"

"No," said Sally, surprised at how forceful she sounded. "Does that mean that every time you get in this thing, you're leaving the whole world behind? Doesn't that drain you, emotionally?"

"It's really not that different to leaving your house and catching a bus. When you come back, the people you live with have been changed by the day they have had, and so have you. That seems ordinary and acceptable to you, because that's what human brains are shaped to deal with. My brain deals with the tide of history in the same way."

"But it is different, Doctor. Sure, you're used to it, but we're not. It's like if I shared my house with creatures who only lived for a few minutes, and hundreds of generations passed during a day out. Catching the bus might not mean much to me, but it would be the stuff of legend to them."

"And would you sit around worrying about generations of dead mayflies, or would you crack on with your life anyway?" said the Doctor. Sally was ready to retort, but the Doctor put down his empty glass and sprung to his feet, talking at machine-gun pace. "This conversation is making me seem much less friendly than I really am. I once took Enid Blyton to this paradise planet with no carnivores. It was basically a forest where every creature completely trusted every other creature. Marvellous place. It didn't stop her being racist but it did make me feel less stressed at having to spend a day with Enid Blyton. Let's check it out!"

"No!"

Sally hadn't meant to shout, but it got the point across.

"You want to stay here?" said the Doctor. "It's the twenty-first century. Tolerable, but not enjoyable." Sally looked down. "It's the girl, isn't it? Oh, aho! It is! And to think, you wanted to leave because she only made one type of coffee! Always have faith in my TARDIS, Sally!"

"Doctor…"

"You're right, sorry, no more teasing. But it is her, right?"

"Yes, it's her," said Sally. "And it isn't just that she's pretty, or good in bed, although that probably helps. She just completely surpasses my expectations of what a first date could be like. She's sweet and funny and adorably clever. I feel like I am already her best friend. It feels really incredible to be around her. She sees the beauty in everything and delights in tiny surprises. She's got these big ambitions for life and I want to watch her accomplish them. Or at least have a couple of extra dates."

"OK, I get that. It happens. I've left people behind before, when they fell in love. But as I've got older, that has seemed more and more irresponsible. If things go wrong for them, they're trapped on a strange planet, in a strange time, with no way of getting out. It's not like moving to Australia, it's like… in terms you'd understand, it's like moving to Mars. No way back. And as the experienced time traveller, I have a duty to let you make a fully informed decision."

"So, what, you're going to take me back to 2021?" Sally said, a note of desperation in her voice.

"No," said the Doctor. "You're going to keep going on dates with… was it Róisín? You can use the TARDIS as your home base. If you decide you want us to leave, we can. And if, after time passes, you're certain that you want to stay with Róisín, then and only then will I leave here without you."

"Thank you." That was a plan Sally could work with.

Chapter 3

If she was going to spend half her time – and possibly all her time – swanning around in the future, Sally had to get her finances in order. She had left a few thousand pounds in her bank. Her debts were significantly bigger, so the balance had probably been seized. She tried not to think about the debt. If she was lucky, then maybe that money had been accruing interest for the last 45 years. To find out, she'd need to access it.

That was slightly tricky. Her bank cards had all expired, as had her driver's license. Without an address history for the last three years – or even the last forty – she thought she was stuck. Fortunately, the Doctor allowed her to give an address he maintained on Baker Street in London, and had even provided her with evidence that she had actually lived there. There obviously weren't any laws against fraud on Gallifrey, which explained how the Doctor got away with that name.

Sally successfully renewed her driver's license – the Doctor used a time stamp to make the application arrive six weeks ago, so her new license was already waiting at Baker Street. She spent two days in London visiting galleries and museums. The Tate Modern had always been her favourite. Nearly everything had changed since her last visit, which was both sad and a real blessing – it meant she had a whole new gallery to discover. She sent Róisín a photo of the Rothkos, one of the few things that were still there from her day.

She took the train back to Manchester in the afternoon. It only took 90 minutes – less time than it used to take to get to London from Cardiff. She met up with Róisín after she finished work. Manchester was enjoying an Indian summer, over 20 degrees even in the evening. They caught a train to Didsbury, in the south of the city. They went for a walk in Fletcher Moss Botanical Gardens and got ice creams. Róisín got some on the tip of her nose and asked Sally to lick it off. Once Sally had leaned in close enough, Róisín kissed her.

Sally would have liked to take Róisín to the theatre, but still lacking access to funds other than what the Doctor could lend her, they instead went to an independent cinema and watched a French film about Cézanne. Afterwards they went to a wine bar and ordered the cheap stuff. It was synthetic wine, chemically and olfactorily indistinguishable from well-aged Bordeaux. The experience was exquisite, although apparently purists still poured scorn on the whole concept. It was late by the time they stumbled out happily into the street.

"Your place?" said Róisín. If she was sober, Sally would have insisted on going back to Róisín's instead. The thought of the two parts of her life colliding together was unappealing. What would Róisín make of the TARDIS? But Sally wasn't sober. There were other things on her mind, which overrode her common sense.

They reached the phone box, still stood outside Simply Coffee. Róisín seemingly didn't notice it until Sally started fumbling with the lock, and then the Canadian girl found the whole thing extremely funny. Sally got the door open and turned to see her girlfriend leaning against a bollard, gasping for breath in between giggles. That set Sally off, although thankfully not quite as much.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

She had to wait for Róisín to calm down. After a few false starts, she managed to get the words out. "I didn't see it! At all! It was right in front of me and blue and massive and I didn't see it AT ALL!"

"You think it's massive now?" said Sally, suppressing a giggle. "Wait until you see what I keep inside."

She helped Róisín upright and they staggered in together. Róisín, of course, found the TARDIS very funny. Sally tried to calm her down, but it was no use, and soon the Doctor was looming.

"You must be Róisín. I'm the Doctor. I've heard a lot of good things about you. Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to catch a blind bog rat, and they're extremely sensitive to sound."

"'Bog rat'" said Róisín.

"Is she fit to… you know… come in here?" said the Doctor.

"Don't worry, Doctor," said Sally, who realised too late that she was slurring her words. "We have both had a liiiiiittle bit of wine, but we are both completely compass. Cutlass. Compost mendis."

"Compos mentis."

"That's the one, compos Menzies."

"Róisín?" She was now sat on the TARDIS floor, giggling quietly as she gawped around the machine. "Róisín, are you in control of your mind?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm… this is a really weird shed. I might be hallucinating."

"I don't want to be a party pooper," said the Doctor, "but maybe put her in one of the spare bedrooms until the morning."

"Boo!" said Róisín.

"Well, that's definitely going to scare off the bog rat," said the Doctor, flouncing away.

"Come on, Ró," said Sally, lifting Ró to her feet. Róisín flicked her nose playfully. They made it down the stairs and through to the corridors where the bedrooms were.

"I think the Doctor's right," said Sally. "I think… I think we're just a little tipsy, but better to be safe than sorry, right? We can always… when we've sobered up a bit, you know? Don't want to do anything we'd regret."

"I would never regret you, Sally Sparrow," said Róisin. "But whatever you say." Róisín pushed into the bedroom next to Sally's – the name Clara hung on the door. "Good night," she said.

"Sweet dreams," said Sally.

Chapter 4

Early in the morning, Róisín crept in next to Sally. Afterwards, they were spooning, and Róisín asked a lot of questions about the TARDIS. Sally came clean. Róisín didn't seem to mind that Sally had lied to her about the Doctor being her father. After all, if Sally had said almost anything else, including the truth, Róisín would have concluded that he was her sugar daddy and Sally was too embarrassed to admit as much. But now, knowing about the TARDIS, Sally's evasiveness made sense.

"I know I said you were unbelievably gorgeous, but you're definitely too good looking to be 82." Róisín said. "Imagine if you tried to draw your pension looking like that."

"Wait… I have a pension!" said Sally. That meant, debts or no debts, money would be accruing in her account.

"Oh yeah," said Róisín. "And do you know about the Citizen's Dividend?"

"No?"

"So there are taxes, right, on things like ground rents and pollution and cars and drugs? The proceeds of those get divided up. Some of it goes towards tackling the causes of those things, the rest of it gets split evenly between everyone in the country."

"Oh, neat. What about the government? How do we fund that?"

"There's still… I think they're basically the same taxes as in your time. Inheritance tax is 100% now. I don't pay much attention to politics, if I'm honest. I think income tax is lower than it used to be."

"And, er, how much is the Dividend?"

"Depends how much is coming in. They pay us weekly on a four-week delay. It's usually about £250."

£250! That was £13,000 a year! "And, erm, when did this come in?"

"Not sure. Before I was born, but after my dad moved to Canada, I think. Maybe 2039?"

The numbers in Sally's head were getting unreasonably high. She must still be drunk. "And how much does a burger cost these days?"

"A burger? About £6. It went up a bit when we switched to plant-based burgers, but then Argentina joined the European Union and prices went down again." She sat up in bed. "You want to get breakfast?"

"You know it," said Sally. £6. That was much less inflation than she expected. Maybe the switch to plant-based products meant that a burger wasn't a good comparison any more – but what would be? Would Róisín know what a Freddo was?

They dressed and headed to a nearby breakfast café. They shared a stack of American-style pancakes with fresh blueberries. They were soft and fluffy. Sally usually preferred crepes, but Róisín had been used to American-style back in Canada.

"Just a question, Ró," said Sally. "You're Canadian, right? If you want to work in space, wouldn't it make more sense to try and get hired by NASA, or one of the American space companies, rather than coming to the UK?"

"First up, I love that you call me Ró," she said. "People are usually too busy working out how to pronounce Róisín to give me a nickname. And yeah, there would be a lot of advantages in America, but Houston isn't right for me. I like public transport and cycle lanes and history. And not having to spend half my time being dictated to by religious extremists. And also not having to run air conditioning all summer."

"You don't like hot weather?"

"I like vacations in sunny places, but I don't want to live in one. I'm Canadian!"

"Doesn't it get hot in your summers?"

"Oh, yeah. It's much sunnier than here, actually. I think British people don't realise how far north they are. Toronto is on the same latitude as Florence. It's not all tundra. But I actually prefer it here. I like the ambience of Manchester, the grey skies and the perpetual rain."

On cue, a large raindrop splattered against the front window of the café. It was the harbinger of a significant rainstorm, and soon the street was being lashed with rain.

"Cardiff is even worse," said Sally.

"You lived in Cardiff?"

"I went to university there, then hung around with friends when I graduated and ended up staying there."

"Until you started travelling with the Doctor."

"Right."

"So… where have you been?"

"It's like I said the first time we met, mostly cultural stuff. Libraries and art galleries and dance recitals. Except right across the universe, rather than just in the UK."

"You can go anywhere in the universe and you just go to slightly better versions of Earth?" said a sceptical Róisín.

"Where would you want to go, then?" asked Sally.

"Well, the Moon, for starters," said Róisín. "And then the first permanent Mars colony. Humanity's first voyage into the stars. I want to see every wonderful thing we do, and all the wonderful creatures out in the universe. I want to swim in alien seas. I want to meet aliens."

"I've met aliens," said Sally. "Bird people with huge wings who could really fly. Orangutans who understood the Dewey Decimal System. Angry Scotsmen."

"You know what else would be cool? History. I'd love to go back and meet Aristotle, or get stuck in at Stonewall. Maybe even meet early humans? Sally, you're sitting on the greatest opportunity in human history and you're just going to libraries?"

"You're right, but you're also very wrong," said Sally. "The Doctor has given me everything I want. As far as I care, you are the greatest opportunity in human history."

"Stop, you're making me blush."

"Blushing in public? That would never do. How unladylike!"

Róisín threw her head back in mock outrage. "The scandal! No respectable gentleman would associate with a blushing spinster!"

"Fortunately, I have no interest in being a respectable gentleman," said Sally, smiling.

"Oh, please, I'd be happy to call you my husband," said Róisín. And then it dawned on her what she had said. Her eyes widened, aghast. "I did not say that."

"Oh, I'm afraid you did," said Sally, delighting in Róisín's embarrassment. "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's accidentally proposed to me."

"I wasn't – I mean, I –," Róisín did at least see the funny side. "Shut up, Sally Sparrow!" she said, pretending to sulk.

"Have you already picked out the baby names?"

"Actually, yes," said Róisín. Sally let out a belly laugh as Róisín was caught with her foot in her mouth once again. "You were the one who brought up baby names on a third date!"

"Oh, no, no, don't go blaming this on me."

"Look, it's just… my mum was Irish, and so she named me Róisín. I have a sister Cara and a brother Seán. I want any of my children to have an Irish name, and carry on that heritage. I haven't thought about… Laoise Sparrow, or anything like that."

Sally gave Róisín a look, and the younger woman facepalmed, albeit with a huge grin. The rain was still coming down fast, in heavy droplets that battered the tarmac like a thousand drumrolls.

"Oh, crap, look at the time," said Róisín. "I need to be at Simply Coffee soon. You didn't bring an umbrella, did you?"

"Sorry," said Sally. It had been warm enough the previous day that neither of them had thought to bring as much as a coat. Sally had left her towel in the TARDIS despite the Doctor's instructions in the library. They paid up – Sally used the last of her loose change, and the server looked at her as if she had ridden in on a penny farthing – and braved the downpour. They dashed back to the TARDIS, and managed to get in without being entirely soaked through. Sally found Róisín a towel and a change of clothes, as well as a raincoat - largely to give the appearance that Róisín had come from home.

"You know," Róisín said, buttoning up the coat, "I'm supposed to be applying for jobs, but once I finish work, I'd much rather spend an evening with you."

"What about reducing your hours? Give yourself one day a week to apply for jobs, two days off, and four days at the café."

"Sweetie, those of us who live in the real world have to work to get paid, and we have to get paid to pay the bills."

"What about the Citizen's Dividend?"

"That helps, for sure, but… well, do you think my lifestyle comes cheap?"

"I suppose not," said Sally. "Hopefully you have a good day at work today, and then you'll have spare energy in the evening."

"Perhaps," said Róisín. She gave Sally a peck on the cheek. "Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"Everything should be sorted by then. Even if it isn't… I wouldn't miss you for the world."

Chapter 5

After saying goodbye to Róisín, Sally went to the bank and was successfully able to prove that she was indeed the owner of her bank account. Her first purchase was an era-appropriate phone, as her old phone couldn't run the latest version of her bank's app. Her eyes widened when she saw the balance. She'd had no outgoings in a long time, but had a monthly income from the Citizen's Dividend which had accumulated a lot of interest. There was also a significant sum of money from Larry, paid in five years ago, and then a transfer out of the same amount to HMRC about three months later. No inheritance any more. Sally didn't see any state pension payments, and then realised she didn't have enough years of contributions, and wouldn't be able to make enough voluntary contributions to make up the rest. Still, the amount of money in the bank came to nearly £800,000.

Sally met Róisín the next morning. It was Róisín's day off, and Sally had planned a day out together. Róisín knew to bring sun cream and a towel, but that was all. It was a balmy September day without a cloud in the sky. They took a train to Didsbury again, but this time they headed away from the park where they had eaten ice cream. Róisín was very surprised when Sally led her to a waterpark for a morning of kayaking.

"I was expecting you to take me to the ballet, or something," said Róisín.

"Sorry to disappoint," said Sally.

"No, it's a long way from a disappointment. It's a pleasant surprise. Although maybe I should have brought a change of clothes."

"Just don't fall in and we'll be fine," said Sally.

They rented a kayak and spent the morning paddling down the River Mersey to Sale. It was greener than Sally had expected. She'd been slightly worried that she'd booked a romantic paddle through a series of industrial estates, but while it wasn't exactly wild, the banks were verdant, the water was blue, and the sun was shining.

Early on, Sally was excited to see a grey heron lurking by the bank, hidden in the shade of a weeping willow. It flew past them again a few minutes later, before disappearing.

A while later, there was a splashing in the water on the far side of the river. At first Sally thought it might be carp, or perhaps Mersey salmon. Then she saw a flash of brown fur. It was an otter! She tapped Róisín on the shoulder and pointed, but she couldn't make it out.

As they approached Sale, it was Róisín's turn to get excited about barely-visible wildlife.

"A kingfisher!" she said, pointing ahead of them. Sally tried to follow her finger, but couldn't make out so much as a splash of blue.

Sally's arms were aching when they finally made it to Sale. Someone from the waterpark had come to meet them, and they helped to load the boat onto their vehicle. The two women then stopped for a pub lunch in Sale, which they ate in the garden by the river as they watched swans and geese swim along. Róisín ordered an extra salad, and they stood on the river bank, feeding it to the waiting waterfowl.

It came on to rain quickly after lunch, but fortunately they had finished their outdoor activities. They caught a train to an indoor go-karting track. Róisín turned out to be something of a petrolhead and beat the competition soundly. Despite choosing the event, Sally was less confident. Still, she had a good time, and Róisín was impressed that she didn't come last.

To finish the day, Sally took Róisín to a crazy golf course in the Trafford Centre. There were ornate steampunk decorations, complete with real hissing steam coming from the mechanical obstacles. The course was fiendishly difficult, but Sally found it a much more cerebral challenge than the physical rigours of kayaking and go-karting.

They headed back to Róisín's apartment. On the way they stopped at a food stand and purchased falafel for dinner, eating as they walked.

Róisín's apartment was on the sixth floor – a long climb at the best of times, so they got the lift. They stumbled in and settled down in front of the TV, Róisín throwing a blanket over them as they snuggled together.

Róisín's place was small, true, but it was immaculate. She had tomatoes growing on her balcony and hanging baskets full of flowers. There was a wine rack embedded in the kitchen wall. An oil painting hung on the wall opposite the bedroom door, a fishing boat caught on a rolling wave under the moon.

"Is that… Gainsborough?" asked Sally, recognising the immaculate brushwork.

"Huh? Oh, no. It's a Turner. Print, obviously. I love the way the Moon looks there. Some people think it's spooky, but I've always just found it fascinating. It's a beacon of hope on a dark night." She pushed her head further up Sally's shoulder. "Thank you for today. I know what you were doing. I really enjoyed myself, but I would also have enjoyed it if we had done… you know… quiet things."

"I had fun too," said Sally. "I wouldn't want to do that every day, but it was a nice change of pace. I'm going to be sore in the morning."

"Oh, you have no idea," said Róisín, her hand drifting to Sally's thigh.

They watched a couple of episodes of TV before Róisín yawned.

"We should go to bed," she said.

"Wait," said Sally. "First, there's something I want to say."

Róisín sat up properly and turned to face her. "What is it?"

"OK, so… I have money. And I really like you. I was thinking… what if I moved in here with you?"

"Yes."

"Wait, you're not going to accuse me of moving too fast?"

"Well, you are moving too fast. Particularly given how you mocked me the other night. But I want you to live here, Sally."

"I know it's a little soon… but I've not exactly got a lot of possessions. If things don't go well I can easily move back in with the Doctor. And if I'm paying half the rent, then you can cut your hours at the café. Maybe start looking for the graduate job you want?"

"I already said yes, Sally."

"OK, OK… where were we, again?"

"I was taking you to bed."

"Oh, yes. Lead the way."

Chapter 6

When Róisín cut her hours at the café down to two days a week, she managed to also get a role for Sally, doing one day a week while Róisín looked for a new career. That gave them four days a week to spend together.

Sally only really owned one set of clothes, a towel, and a couple of books from Alexandria, so it was easy for her to move out of the TARDIS and into Róisín's apartment. Her challenge was finding the Doctor. He was never around. She searched for him through the bits of the TARDIS she was familiar with. She stood outside the chippy he seemed to get all his food from for hours on end, but didn't see him. She visited the "retro" coffee shop that still offered iced skinny pumpkin spice mochas, to no avail. She even checked the local police stations, hospitals, and morgues. In desperation, she tried to bribe homeless people to look out for him, but this plan collapsed when it turned out that Britain had successfully eradicated homelessness through a radical homebuilding project, leaving nobody for her to bribe.

Finally, alternatives exhausted, Sally decided her last option was to explore deep into the TARDIS, the places that she had always avoided going to in case she got lost. She looked through the console room in the hope that there was an infinitely extending rope or something similar she could use to mark her course, but couldn't find anything. Instead, she headed down the long corridor with all the named bedrooms. She quickly lost count of how many she had passed, and just kept walking until she reached the last few. Barbara, Ian, Susan.

Sally pushed through the heavy doors at the end of this corridor. This was a bathroom with a white-and-gold colour scheme which Sally found a little gauche. The bath itself seemed to be almost entirely composed of taps. Sally had an en suite in her own room, so hadn't needed to come this far before.

There was a second door out of the bathroom which led into a walk-in wardrobe which was more like a forest. From there, there was a maze-like pantry full of disorganised jars, a giant swimming pool on which beavers seemed to be constructing some sort of pirate ship, a megafauna zoo with woolly mammoths and triceratops and mice the size of rhinos and plenty more besides. There was a great dining hall where all the chairs span around constantly like fairground teacups. There was a grey spherical room that either had shifting gravity allowing Sally to walk up the walls, or was shifting under her feet. There were cavernous vats bubbling in dark back rooms filled with robots which walked rhythmically but without purpose. There was a music room containing a large collection of guitars, a small collection of recorders, and an even smaller collection of kitchen implements. And then, just when Sally really began to accept that she was going to be walking infinite corridors forever, she found the Doctor, floating parallel to the ground in a featureless white room.

"Doctor?" said Sally. He rolled on the spot until he was facing her, and put a finger to his lips. He righted himself and held his hand out to Sally. She took it. The Doctor pulled Sally out through another door – which, to Sally's chagrin, opened up onto the main console room! – and then out onto the street.

"Sorry about that," said the Doctor. "I'm glad you're alive."

"So am I," said Sally, without batting an eyelid.

"I suppose I should explain," said the Doctor. "You remember I told you to beware the Vashta Nerada? Well, they've made it inside the TARDIS?"

"What are the Vashta Nerada, exactly?"

"Oh, they're like microscopic flying piranhas. Although really piranhas get a bad reputation, like quicksand or ACME, so they're more like cartoon piranhas."

"And you saw them?"

"You can't see the Vashta Nerada, Sally. There are two ways to detect them: one, by noticing shadows without a corresponding light source, and two, by noticing things getting eaten."

"Have you seen any shadows without a corresponding light source?"

"No… but I didn't see you for a few days, and I am sure that they ate your books. "

Sally blinked. Hard. "Doctor, nobody ate my books. I moved them. I moved in with Róisín."

"Oh," said the Doctor. "So I was hiding in the zero room for no reason?"

"Afraid so." There was an awkward moment, before they both tried to speak.

"Well, I have a…"

"Doctor, is it OK that I'm moving in with Róisín?"

"OK? Of course. Unless… wait, have you asked if she's a Zygon?"

"What's a… oh no. No, Doctor. First the Silence, then the Vashta Nerada, and now Zygons? You're seeing monsters in every shadow – literally in every shadow."

"No, please, trust me, Róisín really could be a Zygon. They're shapeshifters. There were twenty million Zygons that I helped resettle on Earth in 2013, mostly in Britain. These days they're successfully integrated into human society, so it doesn't matter much if Róisín is one. Although Zygons don't reproduce sexually, so that might be an issue for you."

"Róisín and I are both cis women," said Sally.

"Are you? I hadn't noticed."

"So, you know, we couldn't reproduce together anyway. Not without… outside help."

"Ah, well, maybe in 2021 that would be true, but in the present, with the help of Zygon technology…"

Huh. "Well, thanks, Doctor, but it isn't really any of your business."

"No, you're right, I shouldn't have stuck my oar in where it doesn't belong. Although I am helping a young Zygon called Champion with… never mind," he said, noticing the look on Sally's face. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm keeping busy. I don't mind sticking around here for a bit while you see where things go with Róisín. Do you need anything? There are lots of tricks you can do with time travel to earn a basically infinite amount of money."

"I think I've already basically used one of them," said Sally. "The cost of living is really low when you spend forty-five years not living at all."

"Ideally you would do some scheme like Kerblam's. Take the money you have now, go back and invest it wisely in 2021, cash in your investments in 2121, and then deposit in 2021 again. Repeat that a few times and you have billions to burn."

"I have a plan, Doctor, don't worry. I don't need any time travel money. Róisín even got me a job in the café to keep me occupied."

"Right. Good. So I'll stick around here, keeping Manchester safe and helping local Zygons, until you feel like you're absolutely certain that you want to live your life here."

"Sounds good."

Chapter 7

In the forty years that Sally had been away, Hallowe'en had become as popular in Manchester as it was in the US. Róisín bought them a couple's costume that Sally didn't understand, but didn't otherwise find objectionable. They went to a house owned by a rich university friend of Róisín's for a Hallowe'en Party. Sally invited the Doctor, and was pleasantly surprised when he not only agreed to come, but dressed up as a mad scientist, his hair stood up on end.

The three of them got the metro to Hazel Grove. Róisín's friend Polly had really made an effort. The front of her house was covered in fake cobwebs, and jack-o-lanterns lined the front path. Róisín knocked on the door for them.

Polly opened up. She was about Róisín's age and clearly of sub-continental descent. "Róisín! So glad you made it! And these must be your friends I have heard so much about!" She spoke with a Lancashire accent that Sally found fairly soft.

"Hi Polly," said Róisín. "This is my girlfriend, Sally, and our friend the Doctor."

"Nice to meet you," said Sally.

"Pleasure," said the Doctor.

"Come on in, the party's just getting started!" said Polly.

They went in and split up, talking to different people while the music blared. Sally enjoyed meeting new people, but after a little while, she started to feel worn out. She was talking to an old friend of Róisín's called Mo, and his new theyfriend, Clyde. Clyde was an agricultural geneticist and Mo was an edaphologist.

"I study interactions between living things and soil, basically," he explained when Sally looked blankly at him.

"Why soil?" Sally asked.

"Well… honestly, Róisín put me on that path. I was going to be a geologist, but at uni she was… you know this already… she was obsessed with the Moon. She knew all the technical details of the Shackleton base before it was even announced. When you're around someone as passionate and infectious as that, it shapes the way you look at the world. I think most of us decided we wanted to be part of Shackleton because of her."

Sally was genuinely interested in this, but she was starting to really tire now. Clyde seemed to notice this. "Hey, er, you know there's a quiet room for people who need to recharge their batteries, right?" they said.

"I didn't know that," said Sally. "Where is it?"

They got Róisín's attention and went through to a small sitting room in the back where the music was barely audible. They sat in a circle.

"So," said Clyde. "It's Hallowe'en. Does anybody want to hear a ghost story?"

At that moment, the Doctor burst in. "Sally! There you are. Oh, hello. I'm the Doctor. What are we doing in here?"

"Clyde was about to tell a ghost story," said Mo.

"Oh, I'm great at ghost stories," said the Doctor. "You want a really spooky story? Well, this one time I was visiting an island off the coast of Alaska…"

And the Doctor spun a tale of mysterious ancient cyclopean structures that weren't built to human proportions, text in an unknown script which drove half its readers insane, and Eldrich abominations from before the dawn of time that could snuff out humanity without even noticing that they had done it. Róisín was enrapt, and Sally, initially sceptical, soon found herself being carried away by the Doctor's words, forgetting all about the party. When the Doctor finally finished, Clyde had fallen asleep, while Mo looked like he would never sleep again, his facial features frozen in fear. Róisín waved a hand in front of his face and he swatted it away.

"That was terrifying," he said.

"Yes, well, don't worry, it was just a story. It was much worse for me, I was there when it happened."

"What?"

"Doctor," said Sally. "It's late. Maybe we should leave."

The five of them saw each other again just a week later. On Bonfire Night, they went to a fireworks display in the local park wrapped up in their thick winter coats, woolly hats, and scarves. Sally and Róisín were eating low-calorie toffee apples – a nano layer of sugar coated the apple, giving it the same taste as toffee apple with much less sugar – when Róisín spotted Mo and led Sally over to him. Mo seemed very happy to see them. He had come with Clyde, who had gone to look at the food stands.

"If I go near then I'll end up indulging myself," Mo said. "Easiest if I stay away and let them buy what they want."

"Come on," said Róisín. "It's a celebration!"

"A celebration of what? I don't care about Guy Fawkes. He died hundreds of years before I was born. Before my grandparents even came to this country."

"It's a chance to be with friends, then!"

"And I can do that without eating junk."

Róisín dropped it. And then Clyde came over to them. He was holding a large portion of pink candyfloss and had fluorescent green tubes around his neck and wrists. With him… he hadn't been invited, but it was a public space, so he had come anyway. The Doctor was holding a newspaper funnel full of chips, and had gone overboard with the glowsticks, which he wore stacked around his neck and down both his arms.

"Look! It's Clyde! From Hallowe'en!" said the Doctor.

"Have you been eating candyfloss?" said Sally, sternly.

"Just a little bit!"

"He's going to be up all night," Sally said, rolling her eyes.

The fireworks started. They were huge explosions of colour that spread across the sky, fizzling and shimmering in ways that fireworks never used to when Sally was a kid. They were fired from mortars which were automatically operated by a computer. The result was impressive, but Sally found it a little sterile. She was sure it was much safer, but Sally thought the display lost something of the unpredictability and edge that manually lit rockets used to give. Her young companions teased her when she voiced this view – the sterility of automatic mortars was nothing compared to the consistent quality they gave compared to rockets. The Doctor, for his part, spent the entire display giggling in uncharacteristic delight. It was unsettling at first, and then endearing.

"How long do you think the Doctor is going to stick around?" Róisín asked over dinner – a quick bowl of soup to warm them up before bed.

"Not sure," said Sally. "I think he has a few things on in the city. He'll probably be on his way once that all wraps up."

"And you're OK with that?"

"I can't expect him to hang around here forever. He has to live his own life," Sally said, gathering up the bowls. Róisín sighed to herself. That wasn't what she'd meant.

Chapter 8

Sally popped round to the TARDIS on Christmas morning, wrapped up in her winter clothes. She'd been to a Christmas market a few days beforehand with Róisín and had bought the Doctor a bottle of mulled wine and a blackthorn plant.

The Doctor was reading in the console room when Sally popped in.

"Merry Christmas, Doctor," she said cheerily.

"Merry Christmas, Sally," the Doctor said. He was slightly downcast and was making a poor but definite attempt to hide it.

"What's the matter?" Sally said. "I brought you some presents."

The Doctor took the bag and looked in. "Mulled wine and sloe gin. Perfect. I shall save these for a special occasion." He looked back at Sally. "Christmas is just a bit of a tough time. It lends itself to reflection, and reflection isn't always positive. But I don't want to be a downer – what are your plans?"

"Well, Róisín's parents are coming over for a few days."

"Ah, yes, I remember," said the Doctor. Sally had invited the Doctor to theirs a few weeks ago, but he had declined, saying he would prefer to stay out of the way. "I have got everything ready for them."

"Wait… what?"

"I know, hard to believe, but you don't make it to my age – whatever that may be – without knowing how to prepare an amazing Christmas dinner."

"I wasn't expecting… no, sorry, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Table for five people, all vegetarian, ready for 1pm?"

"On the dot."

"Excellent, Doctor, thank you so much for doing this, you're a lifesaver."

Sally headed back to the flat where Róisín was tidying up. "Change of plan," Sally said. "The Doctor's cooking. We're eating in the TARDIS."

"Oh, thank f- flying goodness. That saves a lot of embarrassment. Although it also creates a lot of extra embarrassment. How are we going to explain to them?"

"You told them the Doctor was my biological father who I have only connected to late in life?"

"That's what you told me to say."

"Yes, great, thanks. Well, he's an eccentric inventor who has cooked Christmas dinner. There, easy."

"Easy," Róisín repeated. "My parents are on the train. They'll be at Piccadilly in half an hour. I need to go and meet them."

"I can come too," said Sally.

"You need to get the rest of the presents round to the Doctor for lunch," Róisín said, grabbing her things and rushing out the door. "Try to make the place look… normal. See you soon. Love you."

She loves me. Sally thought. Oh my god. She loves me.

Well, of course she loves you. This was a more sensible voice. She's your girlfriend. You've been seeing each other for other three months. You live together. You love her. Of course she loves you.

Sally heard this sensible voice and dismissed it. This gave her a burst of feeling loved, and she was smiling as she swaggered down to the TARDIS again. She helped lay the table, which had been set in a remarkably ordinary dining room that she'd never been in before, even though it was just off the console room. Sally wondered whether the Doctor had rearranged the arrangement of rooms, changing the entire layout of his TARDIS to suit Christmas dinner with the uninitiated. With the TARDIS, anything was possible, or so it seemed.

"Doctor," Sally said, "this is my first time meeting Róisín's parents, and I really want to make a good impression."

"Way ahead of you," said the Doctor. "I've just got off the phone with Audrey, and she's happy to pretend to be Róisín's girlfriend in front of her parents."

"Audrey?! As in… never mind. No. I am going to do this myself. I want to have a good relationship with Róisín's parents. I don't need any zany schemes, time travel shenanigans, or any famous actor imposters. I just… I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you."

"Oh, don't worry about me, I don't care what they think of me."

"Yes, and that's the problem! I want you to do your best to seem like a respectable member of polite society. Or failing that, just an ordinary bloke who tries to be nice to people at Christmas."

"What's brought this on? I am extremely charming. I once charmed a whole army into… wait. I'm confusing "charming" and "intimidating" again, aren't I? OK, I see the issue now. Fine. For you, Sally Sparrow, I will be your charming estranged biological father. I'll even have a sympathetic backstory – I was kidnapped by nuns, who wanted…"

"No."

"You haven't heard the best bit!"

"You were not kidnapped by nuns. You were a frequent anonymous sperm donor who wasn't even told when his sperm was used. You were a high-achiever at school. You played cricket for Oxford University-"

"Cambridge, actually, I was a master of spin."

"- and you spent a year abroad at some equally impressive institution. You spent years working as an engineer for various technology companies. Shortly after you retired you heard from me and we've been travelling across Britain together ever since."

"None of that explains why the nuns kidnapped me."

"There. Were. No. Nuns."

"Ah, the old self-kidnap. I understand now."

At that moment Sally's phone rang. It was extremely fortunate, as Sally had no desire to become a murderer on Christmas Day. It was Róisín.

"I've got Mom and Dad. I was wondering if you could meet us outside Simply Coffee? I think it might, you know… make things easier."

"Right, sure, I'll wait for you."

"We're going to be another ten minutes or so, don't wait in the cold on our account."

Of course, that was exactly what Sally did. She stood out in the street on Christmas Day. Her fingers and ears went numb from the cold. She wished that she had worn gloves. She hopped about on the spot, trying to get her blood flowing and keep herself warm. And as her mind began to wander to thoughts of hot water bottles and curling up by the fire, she didn't notice Róisín and her parents until they were right in front of her.

"Mom, Dad, this is Sally, my girlfriend," said Róisín. Róisín, who loved Sally. Be still, my heart, Sally thought.

"Hello, Merry Christmas, so nice to meet you," said Sally, a little flustered to have been caught unaware. She shook hands with Mr and Ms Murray, smiling as convincingly as she could manage.

"Merry Christmas Sally," said Mr Murray. "Call me Jacob."

"Niamh," said Róisín's mother. "And I must say, when Róisín told us she was dating an older woman, I wasn't expecting you to be quite so pretty."

"Mom," said Róisín, blushing.

"I do my best," said Sally. She was relieved that the Doctor wasn't going to be the only person at the table prepared to put their foot in it.

"So we're having Christmas dinner at your father's, Sally?" said Jacob, clearly trying to move the conversation on.

"Yes. Has Róisín told you about his love of illusion?"

"She mentioned it, yes."

"Right, well… come in."

Sally unlocked the TARDIS and let the Murrays in. They muttered in disbelief.

"This is incredible," said Niamh.

"I don't… is this underground? It must be. Wow. Amazing job."

"Thanks," said the Doctor, strolling through into the console room. "Hello, I'm the Doctor. Come in, dinner is ready."

And so the Murrays, Sally, and the Doctor had a delightful Christmas dinner together. The food lived up to all expectations. The Doctor was plainly a fabulous cook, and made particularly good Yorkshire Pudding.

Things derailed slightly when they pulled their crackers. The Doctor loved it, wearing both his hat and Róisín's (she had worn novelty reindeer antlers). The Doctor even enthusiastically insisted they all read their jokes.

"What," said Jacob, reading from his joke, "do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?"

"Frostbite," the humans chimed in unison.

"I swear these jokes used to be funnier," said the Doctor.

"I think that's the point of cracker jokes," said Niamh. "They're deliberately unfunny so that everyone complains about them, rather than some people feeling excluded."

"No, I remember laughing out loud at a few of them. These days they're just terrible."

"Well, maybe it isn't the jokes that have changed," said Niamh. "We all grow and change through our lives."

"Not me, I'm physiologically and temporally incapable of meaningful change."

"Perhaps you underestimate yourself," said Niamh. "When I met Jacob he was a tearaway, now he's a father of two. Responsibility changes people. Time changes people. Are you the same as you were fifty years ago?"

"Yes, almost exactly," said the Doctor.

"You didn't learn anything in your career or your life?"

"Of course, but that was… ah, ahem. You're right, I have learned a lot. Mostly from travelling. I spent a year studying in France when I was at university."

"Ah, France? Parlez-vous bien francais?" said Jacob.

"Oui, j'ai appris à parler conversationnellement et maintenant je peux parler comme si j'étais un francophone d'origine," said the Doctor.

Jacob stared back blankly. "Well, I'm afraid you've already found the limits of my French, Doctor."

They had dessert – a choice of Christmas pudding or plum pie. Jacob and Niamh shared their puddings, and spoon-fed each other. Sally looked at Róisín, who rolled her eyes with a smile. The Doctor paid no mind to anyone else. He was very much the third wheel – or perhaps, rather, the fifth wheel.

After dinner they exchanged presents. The Doctor had bought Sally a bean bush, and for Róisín, an electronics kit and soldering iron. Practical things to do, hobbies that would help pass the time.

When it was time for them to leave, Sally lingered.

"Thanks, Doctor. The presents are wonderful, and you mostly did a good impression of a human."

"I try my best."

"Doctor… you don't want to be doing this, do you?"

"What do you mean, Sally?"

"Well… I want to live my life the slow way, the ordinary way. You've hung around because you feel some sort of obligation, but by now you've fixed every problem in Manchester, if not further afield. You don't want to sit around in one place. It's just not how you are. And as I spend more and more time with Róisín, you're spending more and more time on your own. It's not healthy, Doctor. Please, don't sit here forever as a service to me. Go and find someone else to have adventures with. Rediscover the fun of life. You can always pop in to see us, if you're still worried. I'll always be happy to see you. But I'd be much happier if I knew that you were choosing to see me because you want to, rather than forcing yourself to out of some sense of obligation."

"Sally, I'm functionally immortal. I'm not missing out on anything by spending a few months hanging around here. A few months is a rounding error."

"And you've done a few months. But you're a Time Lord. You live in a time machine. Having you tethered to one place – it's wrong. Thank you for sticking around, but… just do one thing for me. Go on a trip. One trip. And if it doesn't give you a desire to stay out there in the universe, then you can come back and stay here for as long as you like. Go and find Marilyn or Elizabeth or whoever and have a picnic, or foil an invasion, or whatever you want to do. You've earned it."

"Fine, I'll do it, but don't expect me to enjoy myself. See you later, Sally."

"Goodbye, Doctor."

Sally left the TARDIS, where Róisín and her parents were waiting.

"Right then, let's get back home. Anyone for Scrabble?"

There was an almighty roar, that wonderful wheezing sound, a burst of wind that blew their hair back, and the TARDIS disappeared.

Chapter 9

Spring came and went without any sign of the Doctor or the TARDIS. Sally kept herself busy growing peas and beans, while Róisín was building moisture detectors so they could tell when each plant needed watering. They started jogging together, and eventually entered parkruns. When the weather improved, they started cycling out to the country, getting immersed in nature.

Róisín was still looking for permanent employment. She was mostly applying for jobs that could be stepping stones to being an astrophysicist, like being a lab technician, but she kept getting demoralising rejections. Sally tried to keep her girlfriend's spirits up, baking her treats every time there was bad news and assuring her that something good would come along.

In June, Róisín's dream opportunity came up. She found an advertisement for a consultant astrophysicist to work on engineering projects at the Moonbase. Róisín applied, and poured her heart and soul into the application. She knew, all the same, that it was going to be extremely competitive and the chances of success were low.

Nonetheless, the early signs were positive. Róisín flew through the standardised tests and passed two rounds of interviews. She kept downplaying expectations, saying that she would surely be weeded out in the next round, but she wasn't. Now she had to send all her medical details off to make sure she was fit to be an astronaut.

One morning, Sally got back from the shops and heard Róisín sobbing in their bedroom. She put down her shopping bags and went through, spooning her girlfriend and giving her a cuddle.

"I'm sorry, Róisín," said Sally. "I know how much this means to you."

"I've never wanted something this much before," Róisín said, between heaving sobs.

"I know. But look, just because they don't want you now doesn't mean it's over forever. You have a long life ahead of you, and the Moon is always going to be an option."

Róisín rolled to look at her. "Sally… I got the job."

"You did? That's wonderful!"

"I'm going to the Moon. I'm going to live on the Moon."

"So… what's up? Why are you crying?"

"Because… I have to go on my own."

"What?"

"They say… they say they'll pay for your family to go with you, but only if you have children under 18. And we don't have children."

"What… but…" Sally was caught dumb. "Is there no other way?"

"Not unless we got private funding. And who is going to pay $2m for a part-time waitress to move to the Moon?"

Sally thought for a second. "How much is $2m in sterling?"

"About £1.5m, I think. Maybe a bit more."

Sally smiled. "Róisín, I have that money. I can pay for myself."

"You… how? I mean, I knew you had some money, but I thought it was more like £100,000?"

"Well, when I met you I had about £800,000 in the bank account. When I got here, the Doctor told me that Kilmarnock were going to win the SPL. They were bottom of the league at the time. I put £700,000 on them at 500-1…"

At this, Sally was silenced by Róisín's kiss. She kissed her back. There were still tears in her eyes, but Sally knew they were tears of joy.

"Three hundred and fifty million pounds. About four hundred and seventy million US dollars. Sally, you're so rich."

"We're so rich."

"We can… we don't need to just live in a pokey little cave. We can get something dug especially for us. We're going to have everything we ever need."

"I love you, Róisín Murray."

"I love you, Sally Sparrow."

Chapter 10

The Doctor, of course, was taken by the TARDIS to Mendorax Dellora, where they met Nardole and re-encountered Professor River Song. They escaped from King Hydroflax and spent twenty-six years on Darillium, listening to the Singing Towers. Then, later, the Doctor took Nardole to New York, where they met a boy called Grant who grew up to be a superhero.

The Doctor and Nardole had both had Christmas dinner with Grant, and were now back in the TARDIS. Even as they whirled around the TARDIS console, making adjustments, Nardole could tell that the Doctor was upset.

"Doctor, like you said, everything ends. But not everything ends at once. Are there any loose ends you need to tie up? Old friends you could call in on?"

"Well, let me see. River is dead. Clara is dead and I can't remember her anyway. Missy is pretending to be dead so she can do a big dramatic reveal next time I see her. Amy and Rory are dead. The Brigadier is dead. Sarah Jane is dead. Rose is in a parallel dimension. Romana and Leela think I am a traitor. Susan probably still hasn't forgiven me for Alex. Evelyn is dead. Let's see, that leaves Bernice, Alice…"

"What were you doing immediately before Mendorax Dellora?"

"Well, Clara. We'd been travelling together for a long… no. Sally! I left Sally Sparrow in Manchester in 2060-something. That's what we're doing now. Going back for Sally."

The TARDIS lurched dramatically. "It doesn't like you doing that," said Nardole.

"Well, sorry dear, but…" it lurched again, pushing the Doctor off his feet. "Fine, fine, we'll try it another way…"

"What are you doing?"

"It doesn't want to go to Manchester. I'm setting it to lock onto Sally herself instead. Getting a bit creative with the Time Vortex. Same result, but a different way of getting there. Old girl seems to find it much less objectionable."

And then they stopped. "There. Sally Sparrow. Easy as anything. Come on, Nardole, she'll love you."

"I dunno. Manchester plays havoc with my circuitry," Nardole said. Nonetheless, he diligently followed the Doctor out of the TARDIS.

Nardole was expecting the rain-swept streets of a dense, bustling metropolis. Instead, they were in a large grey room, with stone walls and no windows. There was a juxtaposition of time periods: on one hand, the walls were smooth stone, like the walls of a cave; on the other, there was no lack of technology. Against the far wall, a strip of dark brown soil had been dug into the rock, with beans and kale and tomatoes growing underneath UV LEDs. There was a 3D printer and a work bench with a soldering iron. A collapsible TV screen was stuck to one of the walls, and on another rested a painting that Nardole recognised as Gainsborough's Sunset: Carthorses Drinking at a Stream.

"This isn't Manchester," said Nardole. "The gravity's wrong, for a start. You must have got it wrong."

"No, I'm quite sure… no," said the Doctor. "I got it right. This must… fashion must have changed."

"Doctor, there is no future where Manchester loses five-sixths of its gravity and Mancunians dig up their floors to plant kale inside."

The Doctor gently hopped over to the beans. They were bush grown, rather than trellised, and had quite a bounty. They had obviously been cared for.

"Who's there?" someone called from the next room.

"Yes, just took a wrong turn, I'm leaving," said the Doctor.

"Doctor?"

"Sally?"

And there she was, stood in the doorway. Her hair had gone grey, but she was unmistakable.

"You've got taller," the Doctor said.

"Lower gravity. And new legs. It's really you? Ró, it's the Doctor!" she called back through the doorway.

"Yes, hello. Sorry, how long has it been?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, Ró and I moved to the Moon in 2068. Now it's 2093. Doctor, on paper I'm 108."

"You don't look it," said Nardole. "But then the Doctor doesn't look a day over sixty."

"Fifty-nine."

"Don't push it."

"Well, the Doctor brought me forty-eight years forward in time, so really I'm sixty too," Sally explained. "But these days humans don't age like they used to. Every ten years we take telomerase and some senolytics and… where have you been?"

"Well, you asked me to reconnect with an old flame, so I did. Only took a couple of trips. It was nice for a long time, and then she died, but I met Nardole, so that's a positive. What about you? Living on the moon?"

"Doctor?" It was Róisín, hobbling to the doorframe, holding onto the wall as she walked. "I was beginning to think that we must have imagined you."

"Hello, Róisín. This is my new companion, Nardole."

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," said Nardole.

"Sally was just going to tell us about life on the Moon."

"Gosh, where to start?" said Sally. "Róisín is a consultant astrophysicist for major projects. The cover on the Aiken basin was her work. I'm curator of the Lunese Theatre. Our daughter Laoise is studying at Georgia Tech. We've all got osteoporosis, but the kale helps. I had to regrow my legs. Ró has a prosthetic."

"Carbon fibre, baby," Róisín said, hopping and waving her prosthetic right leg.

"Well then," said the Doctor. "Sally's had a full life. That's good, isn't it, Nardole? Well, lovely to see you both, but we must be on our way."

"Doctor, wait," said Sally. "Do you remember Clyde?"

"Dr Clyde Champion? From Hallowe'en? No, never met them. You're being paranoid."

"Yes, Clyde Champion. Clyde's sick, Doctor, and we can't figure out why. The doctors have tried everything, but they're not responding to treatment. Maybe… maybe with the TARDIS we could take them to some future hospital with a better understanding of medical science?"

"Let me have a look at Clyde," the Doctor said. "I think I should be able to sort them out."

"Doctor, they're dying."

"I know, I know. Where are they?"

"Clyde and Mo are our next-door neighbours. I bought them a house so we'd have some company. They're plant scientists, so getting them here was no trouble."

"Mo isn't a botanist, he's an edaphologist. But I take your point."

Sally led the Doctor and Nardole through a string of cuboid rooms carved into the lunar regolith. There was the utility room that the TARDIS had landed in, a sitting room, and then an entrance hall with stairs going up and down. Sally took them out through the front door and knocked on the door of the neighbouring house – or rather, dwelling; it didn't have any external shape that was recognisable as a house. The Doctor looked up in wonder at the huge glass dome that covered not only the Shackleton crater, but now the entire surrounding Aiken basin, 2,500km across. They were sheltered from the harshness of space.

"Sun's bright today," said Nardole.

"It's not the Sun," said Ró, keeping up the rear. "It's a collection of mirrors that reflects sunlight into the crater for sixteen hours a day. Gives us a liveable temperature and a day-night cycle like Earth's."

"Oo, very nice."

The door opened. It was Mo, who now had a long white beard. "Oh, it's him," he said. "I was beginning to think Sally had made you up."

"Mo, remember Hallowe'en? We shared ghost stories!"

"No, you told me that the habitable universe is a tiny speck in a dark void and Eldrich abominations could snuff us out without a second thought, and I had nothing that could compare to that."

"See? Not made up by Sally."

"Mo, I think the Doctor is Clyde's best hope," said Sally. "Can they have visitors?"

"Visitors? Sure. But Clyde's got two hopes, Sally – no hope and Bob Hope."

Mo waved them in, and they headed up the stairs. They were slightly further apart than you'd expect on Earth. Mo and Sally seemed to climb them almost by skipping, while Róisín at the rear was much more careful.

Mo took them through to a bedroom, where Clyde was lying under the covers. On one wall was an LCD screen showing a satellite image of Earth, and opposite it was another screen showing the view from an ordinary suburban bedroom window in Britain. The image on the screen shifted as you moved around the room, just like a real window. In plain view was a bird feeder, which had attracted a swarm of finches.

"You've got visitors, Clyde," said Mo. Clyde looked up from the "window" and smiled.

"Hello, Doctor. I didn't think I'd be seeing you again."

"You've got old, Clyde," said the Doctor.

"Happens to us all. I did what you wanted."

"What do you mean?" said Sally.

"Thank you, Clyde. Your debt is repaid. Clyde, I think the reason your body is failing is because it wasn't made for the Lunar environment. The others get osteoporosis, but your body just doesn't know how to adapt. I think, if you revert to your true form, you'll be OK."

Clyde's eyes widened.

"What do you mean, revert to his true form?" said Mo, more than a hint of anger in his voice.

"Mo, please," said Clyde.

"No, Clyde, what does he mean?"

"Mo… I really love you. Do you love me too?"

"Of course I love you, Clyde, I'm just… you're scaring me."

Clyde looked at the Doctor. "It will be alright, Clyde."

"Please trust me, Mo," said Clyde. "Promise you trust me."

"Anything, Clyde, just… tell me what's going on."

"Easier if I just show you. Hold on." And with that, Clyde began to bulge. His skin turned a deep maroon, and his neck swelled up like a bullfrog's.

"Doctor, do something," said Sally.

"Clyde! Clyde!" said Mo.

"Just keep calm, everyone. Clyde will be fine."

"Doctor, he looks like he's about to burst!"

And that was, indeed, what Clyde did. His neck continued to swell, until it swelled right over his head. Then the swelling popped, and Clyde's face disappeared with it. Sally's eyes could barely comprehend what she was seeing. Clyde was covered in suction cups. His head was crested upwards, and his eyes were small and sunken.

"Doctor, what's happened to him?"

Clyde groaned and sat up. His ribs were visible as the covers fell away.

"This is Clyde's true form. Clyde is a Zygon. They're shapeshifter refugees who are settled on Earth."

"Mo," said Clyde. "Mo, it's me."

"I… are you OK?"

"It feels weird, being in this form. I was in that form for a long time. But I don't feel like I'm dying any more."

"Yeah, well… I can see why you stayed a human for so long." Mo was grinning.

"I'll have you know that I am considered extremely beautiful by Zygon standards."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"But you're right. I can't walk around like this. People will get scared."

"Can you… can you become a human again?"

"I'd need to copy someone. And if I copied anyone around here, well, it would be obvious."

Sally nudged the Doctor. "Oh, er, well, I could always take you somewhere. There's a future where Zygons live openly among humans. I could take you there, you could find someone willing to let you copy them, and then we could get all your paperwork sorted out for living with a new face."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Usually people are shocked that time travel is possible, but sure."

"We've lived with Sally for years, we've heard all her stories."

"Right, that explains it. Fine. You're coming with me. Consider it a thank-you for looking out for Sally and Róisín for me. One more adventure."

"One more?" said Sally.

"Well, you don't want to miss out on an adventure, do you, Sally?"

"Speaking personally," said Róisín, "I'd very much like to see the future, particularly if it has actual aliens in it."

"And I'm going wherever Clyde's going."

"Then it's settled," said the Doctor. "Oh, you're going to love it. Come on!" The Doctor dashed out and vaulted over the railing at the top of the stairs.

"Well, he's certainly livened up," said Nardole.

"Sorry, who are you?" asked Mo.

Nardole made it back to the TARDIS before any of the four osteopathic geriatrics.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Doctor?" he said. "You struggle to keep track of one companion. How are you going to manage with five?"

"Well, the TARDIS is more than big enough," said the Doctor. "Sally knows what she's doing, and Róisín will stick by her. Clyde will stick by me, and Mo will stick with him. So as long as you make sure I'm OK, we should all be OK."

"The future's a risk, though, Doctor. There are lots of things in this system's future that they won't like. What if they try to change their present to stop the future coming about?"

"Sally knows the danger," said the Doctor. "I'm sure the others will pick it up. We'll spend as little time in the future as possible so they don't get tempted. In fact we won't even go to Earth, we'll go to one of the colonies on Jupiter's moons, reduce the risk even further. Don't worry, Nardole, I've done this before." The door opened. "Oh, Mo is going to see inside the TARDIS for the first time. I love this part."

And as the Doctor and Sally and Róisín revelled in the elderly Muslim man's wonder at the dimensional impossibility he had wandered into, Nardole looked down at his notebook with concern. Nardole knew from River that the Doctor often ran away from his responsibilities. Was taking a motley crew on a trip through time and space just the latest example of that?