Subcutaneous

by LampLamp

A few minutes can alter a person's ability to be comfortable in their own skin. Sasuke Uchiha, once the focus of an entire high school's female attentions, rejects this role. He switches schools under a new name and appearance in hopes of having a normal high school experience, but the other side isn't how he expected.

No one can see inside another person. No blood, no meat, no bones. No thoughts, no feelings. Skin is opaque, allowing only brief peeks of vessels and whatnot in the places where it thins.

But people want to see through. They want to read minds, but they can't, so they read bodies. Subcutaneous landmarks can hint at what's beneath, but bumps and knots don't always mean bones, and the tense curls in the corners of my mouth do not imply that I want this. I can't help that the visual manifestation of my disgust is exactly the expression you attribute to "having a good time".

No, the slight blue veins snaking up my arm are not an invitation for your cleavage to rest on it, and the twitching of my nose is actually in opposition to your taste in perfume.

"Hey. Get off me."

She persists for several minutes. Her arm, like a snake, slides down the ridges of my back, an attempt at something I refuse to acknowledge. It keeps going down. My airways squeeze in on themselves. Fear moves through my body like thumb tacks in my brain, down my chest, in every place she touches, and all I want is escape. I'm frozen. I can't get up. I can't move. God, I don't want this. Can't she tell I don't want this?

journal #1 =

It's been half a year since the locker room happened. I don't make conversation with girls anymore, or with anyone that much, really. I talked to Naruto about it, though. He congratulated me.

I've been realizing more and more that I don't want to go out in public as myself. I've been using sunglasses, wigs, oversized clothes, makeup. Anything to be someone else. Anything to look normal. And really, it works. When I go out like that, no one walks up to me and starts flirting. No one stares. No one follows me. I feel safer, in a way.

So I talked my parents into letting me change schools and go under a different name. They agreed. I've been letting my hair grow out, so that it can cover most of my face. I switched my contacts for glasses. I stopped washing my face. I picked a uniform that's a little too big for me. Sasuke Uchiha is now Joseph Cho. No one will care enough to see through Joseph Cho, at least, that's what I'm betting on.