Ch 1
Cosette looked around at the generals gathered as she lorded over the map of Farbanti.
"Princess, you can simply buy a new jar of nutella. No-one here has any idea where it went." Avril said, when Cosette spoke her mind.
"I won't buy another jar. I won't rest until i find my missing nutella." Cosette firmly said.
"Princess, what's your plan?" Wiseman asked.
"I'm going to order a full scale search throughout the kingdom. I won't rest until i find my nutella." Cosette said.
"Well who the hell is going to do such a stupid thing?" Wiseman responded.
"General Steiner will conduct the search." Cosette said, seeing the dumbstruck looks around her.
"Cosette, you're wasting valuable time and resources that could be better spent to defend against an unknown enemy." Trigger said.
"Damn it, Trigger. I want my nutella back." Rosa said, slamming her hand on the desk.
"Just buy another jar." Trigger pleaded.
"I refuse to bend on this matter." Rosa said, standing up and leaving the room. Trigger and his fellow pilots met in the hallway to discuss options.
"Is your girlfriend really that serious? She's having General Steiner conduct house to house searches with Chief Beifong's police force. We're completely defenseless if someone decides to attack us." Mihaly warned.
"I know, i know. No-one can get thru to her. She's made up her mind." Trigger said.
"Let her search and enjoy the show." Longcaster said.
"You're probably to blame for the missing nutella. I suggest you return it." Avril said.
"Why do you think i stole it?" Longcaster asked.
"You eat food during our missions. Who else would do it? Perrault isn't in Farbanti so that leaves you." Huxian said.
"Are you sure?" Longcaster snorted.
For days the search continued. Mihaly was on patrol with Sol squadron when he got a notice to meet with the princess.
"I'm not looking forward to this." the grizzled ace said.
A large meeting was held and Mihaly headed to visit her.
"Princess, you needed me?" he asked.
"Your top priority is to find my nutella." Cosette said.
Mihaly waved for Lt Hewel to talk to the out of touch princess about her priorities. But Hewel supported Cosette's wild mind.
"Wal-mart is out of Nutella." Hewel said.
"Correct. My jar was the last one. Now listen, Mihaly. You are given a blank check and all resources of Erusea to find my nutella. It's okay. You'll be successful in your mission." Cosette said, walking away.
Mihaly pulled out his cellphone and called Three strikes.
"Pilot with the three strikes, meet me 30,000 feet in the air above Megalith."
…
At North point, General Zhukov looked at the photos of Yuktobania's recent war with an unruly neighbor, going over the details.
"Very impressive." he said when he heard the door being knocked on.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"Aces from Osea and Erusea are here to meet you." a Yuke soldier said. Zhukov looked down for a second before making his response.
"Tell them to wait a minute." Zhukov said. Once the door was closed, he quickly stood up and grabbed a small box filled with medals.
"We need to look important for these aces." he reminded, emptying the box until his two subordinates had plenty of medals, looking like bad-ass war heroes. The door was opened, and Zhukov saw Mihaly and three strikes walk in.
"Sit down. What's this about?" Zhukov asked.
"As you're aware, Cosette is going nuts looking for a lone jar of nutella." Mihaly said, lifting a small case onto the table and opened it, showing the last jar of the princess's nutella.
"I don't understand." Zhukov said.
"I'm taking it to Shilage castle. Shilage, Voslage, and other smaller nations east of Erusea have banded together to defend ourselves. We're calling ourselves the eastern bloc. And we need weapons. It's only a matter of time until the princess knows what happened to her jar of nutella and comes looking for it." Mihaly explained.
"We have money to pay for the weapons, and here's the list." Trigger said, handing the Yuke general a piece of paper. Zhukov's eyes widened as he looked at the list.
"We cannot give you the weapons. We gave Erusea the Alicorn as scrap, and you guys turned it into a superweapon that almost destroyed the world. With the arsenal on this paper alone, you'll have enough firepower to take over Erusea and the surrounding waters, if not the whole continent. We don't need that kind of scrutiny down our necks." Zhukov said.
"So your answer is a no?" Trigger asked.
"Correct." Zhukov affirmed.
With no success with Yuktobania, the pilots headed to Dinsmark to meet with the Belkans. And they were more than happy to provide the weapons necessary for the eastern bloc.
Back at Farbanti, Cosette was busy eating some dinner with her loyal military and political officers.
"Nutella sandwiches are epic. Eating nutella from the jar is the best way to go." she said.
"I understand. I enjoy eating honey-peanut butter from the jar." Skeletor said.
"Your honey-pb combination is not as good as nutella. I keep telling you this, Skeletor." Cosette replied, now being handed a folder. She opened it, and grimaced at the news.
"Mihaly has found my jar of Nutella. He then eloped with the LRSSG and Sol squadron to Shilage castle where my jar is under heavy guard. Shilage, Voslage, and other eastern nations have banded together under the name of the Eastern bloc. Mihaly… I can't believe you'd do this! All that work and effort down the fucking drain! Speer, doesn't give as shit about my troubles. Goering, probably colluded with those pilots to eat the jar. And everyone else is colluding with them. Get the military ready. We'll crush this eastern bloc and secure my nutella." Cossette said.
Unfortunately, things would only get worse for Cosette.
"Princess, i have bad news. It's been confirmed that Belka is rearming the eastern bloc. They have 120 F-20's, 50 F-16's, 40 MiG-29's, 80 Su-30's, 77 Gripens, 75 J-16's, around 30 stealth fighters, 30 bombers, 66 attack choppers, and hundreds of anti-air weapons. Also, Erusean citizens and soldiers who hail from the eastern bloc territories are defecting en mass. We have lost most, if not all, of our best pilots." Boreman grimly said.
"I think they are bluffing. They may have hundreds of aircraft and weapons, but they have few people to use them. We have a bigger pool of manpower to draw from. Not to mention the hundreds of drones we still control. One good thrust is all it takes to break them." Hewel said.
"Doesn't matter if they are bluffing or not. Our options are limited. If they decide to attack, it'll be Operation Shotgunner but reverse. And if they decide to rebuild Meglith and put troops on Tyler island, then we'll be cut off from the rest of the world. We're fucked no matter what." Skelator said.
Cosette could only speak with barely restrained rage.
"I can't believe they would do such a thing. All because i wanted my jar of nutella back!"
Cosette continued to rant, flabbergasted that so many of her citizens and soldiers would head to the eastern bloc instead of staying in Erusea.
Speer just arrived, hearing the princess going on a massive rant about the recent events.
"So, i take it things are getting worse?" the chief architect asked.
"Believe me, she'll find some way to make it worse." a valet said.
At Shilage castle, Mihaly was busy observing as the new fighter planes were being brought in when his aid handed him a note.
"Princess Cosette has given the eastern bloc an ultimatum. Hand over her nutella, or she'll invade." the young man said.
Mihaly tore the note apart, sighing in disgust.
"Then it's war. Gather the leaders and our best pilots. We'll need them." he said, leaving the hanger.
"Is Cosette really serious about invading us?" Trigger asked.
"Of course she's serious. She wants her jar of nutella." Wit said.
"She's gone nuts. Mihaly, has she been this insane during the war?" Trigger asked.
"I'm afraid so. We've no choice but to go on the offensive. We have the pilots, and they're focusing their efforts on defending against a land invasion. We can use Tyler island and Meglith fortress to hit Farbanti from the sea. They won't see it coming." Mihaly said.
At Farbanti, the sound of explosions was heard waking up the princess. Storming inside the royal palace she approached two officers, one who was holding a phone.
"Who the hell's attacking us? I need to know what's going on." Cosette demanded.
"Madam, we've no idea who's behind these attacks. Parts of the city are on fire and flooded."
"Is anyone going to answer my question?!" Cosette exclaimed.
"Ma'am, Koller might have the answer." the officer said, handing Cosette the phone.
Taking the phone, she asked Koller for information, but was disappointed in his answer.
"Koller, Erusea is not at war with anyone. Who's dropping bombs and firing artillery at us?" the princess asked.
"Hold on, i'm getting a note." the Erusean officer said before continuing to speak.
"It is the eastern bloc. They received your ultimatum and have launched a preemptive strike. They say they will lay down their arms if you buy the jar of nutella off of them and quit trying to take it by force." Koller said, infuriating the princess.
"Those assholes have gone this far. This craziness has gone long enough. We will defeat them and reconquer the territory once and for all!" Cosette declared before she slammed the phone down. Standing up, she walked away from her subordinates as they quickly offered much needed advice.
"Princess, their demands are reasonable. A war just to get a single jar of nutella is not worth it."
"Nonsense." Cosette replied.
Attending another war meeting, Cosette looked at her remaining loyalists seeing the doubt in their eyes.
"Princess, what's your plan to deal with the eastern bloc?" general Monkhe asked.
"My plan is to defeat them with a massive and ruthless attack thanks to our drones." Cosette said.
"Shepard and the map?" Monkhe asked.
"Shepherd will attack with the aid of Chief Beifong's police force while this map will stay here and do nothing." Cosette said.
"Princess, i've heard rumors that Beifong and the police may have defected to the eastern bloc." Monkhe said.
"Even if they have defected, it is of no consequence. Trigger and Mihaly are excellent pilots, but they're only human and we still outnumber them." Cosette said.
"Not to mention they are working far from their bases of operation. This eastern bloc is doomed." Skeletor said.
"We need to put the eastern bloc under more pressure. We should mobilize the entire kingdom for a massive attack. They will never expect us to attack with all of our might." Cosette said, apparently out of touch with reality.
Just outside Farbanti, general Wielding yelled into his phone as the sounds of battle were heard all around him. Looking up from his cover, he saw a battleship plus frigates and corvette escorts pounding what was left of the city into ruins.
"Who do you think's attacking us? It's the eastern bloc!" Wielding shouted. "Of course they have air supremacy! Well i'm not hallucinating an entire armada of bombers and fighters dropping unguided iron on us."
An explosion nearly killed the general, and he shakingly got up.
"Sir?" a Lt asked.
"Cosette wants us to fight and secure her the missing nutella." Wielding said, shaking his head in disbelief.
"That's absurd." the Lt said.
Wielding headed to the bunker, wanting to talk to Cosette about ending the war. The sounds of jet engines echoed deep into the bunker. All of Cosette's claims about winning the war was nothing more than lofty words.
"So, how did your meeting go?" Hewel asked.
"Don't know. Doubt i convinced her to end the war." Wielding said, being handed a glass of vodka.
"She'll either end the war, or ignore you and have Shepherd continue fighting." Hewel laid out.
"Ever notice how Cosette gets Shepherd to do things but we never see him?" Wielding asked.
"Shepherd's a mysterious person. Never seen him before in my life." a drunk officer said. Lebarthe walked into the room and gave bad news to Wielding.
"Cosette is dead serious about continuing this war. And she's appointed you as the defender of Farbanti." Lebarthe informed.
"Fuck." Wielding spat.
The veteran pilots returned to Shilage castle, performing victory stunts as they buzzed the old buildings.
"Another mission completed. How long do you think it'll last?" Count asked.
"We're still having more people defecting to our side. If they continue, we'll win by the end of the week." Trigger said.
"I wouldn't be so sure. Cosette still has hundreds of drone fighters at her disposal. If she decides to use them, it could turn the tide of the war." Mihaly warned.
"Hopefully whoever's been working on the drones decided to sabotage them before defecting." Trigger said.
"Doubt that'll happen." Mihaly put in.
…
Cosette looked over a map of Erusea, when General Lebarthe walked in.
"Hello General. Sit down." Cosette said, motioning towards a chair. The Erusean sat down with a worried look on his face. Cosette continued to talk, monologuing to herself.
"It's crazy, what's going on. I asked Mihaly to find my missing jar of nutella, and he steals it and hides it in his country. And now we're at war with the eastern bloc. All i wanted was my jar of nutella." Cosette sadly said.
Lebarthe grimaced before he spoke.
"Princess, i have to tell you this. For weeks i've been helping the eastern bloc since before the war broke out. Erusea is tearing itself apart fighting our eastern neighbors. The lighthouse war ruined us, and this will make sure we never rebuild ourselves. This is wrong, and i cannot support you." Lebarthe said.
"I understand. I know that you and the other conservatives hate the use of drones. So why side with Mihaly, the man who helped create data for the drones?" Cosette asked.
"I may not agree with him giving data for the drones, but i cannot stand for this war of aggression you're waging. And about the drones…" Lebarthe said, stopping when Cosette looked up at him.
"I sabotaged the drones. All the combat data we put in from the war… all gone. And without Mihaly or Trigger to help provide new combat data, those drones are as useful as toilet paper." Lebarthe said, unholstering a pistol to keep Cosette at bay. The rebellious general backed out of the room and left the bunker. Everyone inside was drinking, eating, behaving as if nothing was going on.
"News today. Farbanti is full of warehouses. Where's my house? Where's my house?" a drunken soldier laughed.
Exiting the bunker, Lebarthe picked up an assault rifle from the ground and looked at the war-torn city hearing the sounds of gunfire in the distance.
"Damn war." he muttered, walking into the dark.
…
"Princess, the eastern bloc is steadily marching towards Farbanti with nothing to stop them. All of our veteran soldiers defected to the eastern bloc." General Wielding said.
"How long until can we hold out?" Cosette asked.
"A few days at most." Wielding said.
"We will defeat this eastern bloc." Cosette said, running her fingers across the map.
"You're wrong, princess. We only have a few thousand rookie soldiers and sabotaged drones against the best pilots this side of the globe." Monkhe replied.
"Chief Beifong and her police force are advancing and will join up with General Shepherd. Together they will push back the eastern bloc and win the war. Beifong will come." Cosette said, standing up and leaving the meeting room.
Her few generals could only argue at the badly-worsening situation.
"You honestly think that Beifong will come and save us in time?" Wielding asked.
"I think she's more likely to defect…" Krebs started when he was interrupted.
"She wouldn't defect to the eastern bloc!" Skeletor exclaimed.
"Damn it, Skeletor that's what you said about Longcaster! He betrayed us for food!" Krebs shouted.
…
The sound of an alarm woke Mihaly up, and he rushed out to see aircraft scrambling to defend the castle.
"What's going on?" he asked, heading to his X-02.
"We got incoming. Air and ground. Looks like a full scale invasion." Huxian said.
The pilots quickly scrambled as Trigger took point. Three strikes armed his missiles ready for a fight.
"Looks like Cosette wants to make one final show of force. But who the hell would…" he started when a voice interrupted him.
"Attention eastern bloc forces. This is Chief Beifong of the Farbanti police force. I am defecting to your side. Please, stand down. I repeat, i'm defecting to your side and request asylum for me and my men." Lin said over the radio.
Trigger relaxed his hand and disarmed his missiles, exhaling in relief. On the ground, Lin sat across from Trigger and Mihaly and gave her side of events.
"Cosette has clearly gone off the deep end. And you guys sure made a mess of Farbanti. No way in hell i'm putting my men in harms way for a leader who belongs in an asylum." Lin said.
"So you decided to throw in your lot with us. Good choice. Cosette has no forces left to fight with." Mihaly said.
"She still has General Shepherd and the drones. Quite a potent force." Lin warned.
"General Lebarthe defected before you did, and sabotaged the drones. They're fucking useless right now." Trigger said, laughing at their good fortune. Everyone left the room, except Trigger and Mihaly.
"Mihaly, why did you take the nutella to the castle instead of giving it to Cosette?" Trigger asked.
"I originally did it as a prank against Cosette, but now we're involved in a full scale war against Erusea." the older man said.
"If you could, would you still confiscate the nutella and end up in war?" Trigger asked.
Mihaly thought for a second before responding.
"Yes."
At Farbanti, Cosette was going over plans for the war effort when General Bugdorf came in.
"Message from Keitel. Chief Beifong has defected to the eastern bloc. General Lebarthe has also defected. General Shepherd has surrendered to the eastern bloc. All remaining forces have defected, and the drones have been exterminated by the eastern bloc's forces. We have no more forces left to fight with." Bugdorf informed.
Cosette stood up, her head hung down. The war was now over.
"What are their demands?" she softly asked.
"Still the same as before. They'll lay down their arms if you're willing to simply buy the nutella instead of taking it by force." Wielding answered.
"Okay. Contact the eastern bloc. Tell them i'll meet their demands." Cosette replied.