Hello everyone! It's been a while since I have written anything and that actually stays true to form. We moved recently and I ended up going through a box I hadn't opened in a while and in it I found a notebook containing two stories I wrote years ago but never typed. This one was a oneshot so I typed it up for you all! The other one is longer and not officially complete but it's a Harry Potter fic so I guess I have to finish it! I didn't change anything just typed although I did want to change something things… but I hope you enjoy!
A/N: I do not own Spongebob Squarepants. I am simply borrowing the characters for a moment.
10 Things I hate about Spongebob
His eyes.
They are so big and blue and sometimes when he laughs they seem to laugh with him. Sometimes they are so shiny and sparkly that I can't help but stare into their depths like a man possessed….
His smile.
He has bucked teeth! He always smiles so big that the entire town seems so dull in his presence….. The worst thing about his smile is that most of the time it's so catchy that I have to work to keep my frown in place.
His laugh.
It's so grating! That laugh is so loud that it seems to grind into you and hack its way into your skin, there is just no escaping it! And, no matter what you do, you always hear it because the guy thinks that everything is funny!
His enthusiasm.
Work, jelly fishing, boating school, Gary, Patrick, me…. Everything and everyone looks so lazy and quiet compared to him (except perhaps Patrick). Give him and assignment and he does it no matter how questionable it is.
His loyalty.
I remember when Mr. Krabs had that stupid idea of making a Krabby Patty pizza and had me and that doofus deliver it. It seemed to take an eternity but we got it there, and the guy said that he ordered a drink and then said he didn't want the pizza which caused Spongebob to start crying…. I also remember how I saw red and all that I wanted to do was tear the guy limb from limb for making Spongebob cry…..
How annoying he is.
I guess that if I only had to see him a little bit that he might be alright, but no. He is my neighbor that I see everyday at home, he is my co-worker so I see him everyday at work. Every where I go, he seems to be there even though I do not want him to be…. The main thing that annoys me about him is that while everybody else thinks my clarinet is a waste of time, Spongebob thinks that its great that I can make music and that makes me feel very warm inside….
His stupidity.
I wonder if he is just the world's largest moron? Either that or the kid was just raised slow… I sometimes like that because it's easy to tell when he is confused. I don't like it when he is mad though because he becomes furious when he is confused…
Patrick.
That idiot is worse than Spongebob! He takes living under a rock to a whole new level, not to mention that he actually does live under a rock! I've noticed that he kind of lets his gaze linger a little to much on a certain sponge… I am not a fan of this knowledge… I hate this guy because I think if Spongebob has noticed this gaze it may peek his curiosity.
Sandy.
She is a land dweller for goodness sakes! I do not understand why he shows her so much attention! Any relationship that could begin would never work! He can't live in her tree without water and she can't live in his pineapple without air… So why do they spend so much time together?! It keeps me up at nights just wondering how he feels about her….
How in love I am with him.
No matter how hard I try I think of him…. They started out as dreams and now I can hardly deny it to myself anymore! I know that it's sick and it's wrong but I fell in love with the kid, the fry cook, my neighbor….. It's creepy on so many levels that I somehow fell in love with Spongebob Squarepants!
Squidward put his pen down and reread what he had just written. His plan had been to write a song or a sonnet of his life and ambitions. How did his pen write stuff about obnoxious neighbor?! Obviously, the pen is defective. Squidward threw the pen in the trash on top of all of the other defective pens that had written words on his paper that was supposed to be for sonnets and instead wrote of sparkling cerulean eyes. He placed the paper in the drawer that he had labeled as defective, although it seemed to be getting full now and stood up to go to the store for more paper and pens because he seemed to be out of both now. Squidward decided to go to the next town over and hope that their pens weren't defective.
Author: Alright, let me know what you all think! Flames are welcome but will probably just be ignored lol