For Denise
If two people believe in something, really believe, anything even the impossible is possible.
We might not really talk lately which is most obviously the case cause of my lack of replying but I want you to know that I love you. If you see this; I'm sorry, in my opinion I will never say it enough and there is no excuse for that but I'm sorry and I hope you have that in the back of your mind whenever you're mad at me for not answering (you have all right to). You're the Yang to my Yin and my soulmate (if it's not too cheesy haha). I love you and I want you to remember that forever.
For all you other guys check out her fanpage = @caskett._.fanpage on instagram :)
To the "plot": This story is basically one I wrote a while ago. It's nothing special but it would be lovely if you give it a try and maybe even leave a review (constructive criticism welcome).
Kate finds a letter she wrote to herself shortly after starting to date Castle and she reads it in her bathroom while packing stuff from her apartment with Lanie.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from "Castle".
It's Sunday morning, the orange sunlight lights up the empty loft and the smell of coffee fills her nose as she lifts her head up from the pillow. A lazy smile forms her lips and she sits up to find the bed bare next to her. It's not really unusual for him to be up before her even if he is a late sleeper but she's been pretty exhausted lately. She follows the scent into the kitchen where he fumbles around with a pan and something that looks suspiciously like a smorelette.
"Good Morning", she laughs. Rick startles at her sudden voice behind him but he turns and shows her a cute little smile.
"Mornin, you up already?" he jokes.
"Very funny, Castle", she rolls her eyes at him but doesn't hesitate to hug him from behind. "You're making breakfast, nice. I'm going to be at my apartment today you remember that, don't you?"
He nods, "You want to pack the rest of your stuff with Lanie."
"Yeah right, you can write in the meantime don't you think? Nikki could use some new adventure."
"She could use some but does she need one?"
"Oh come on, what else do you have to do. Nothing, right! So writing could actually be something productive you do today."
"Fine, I'll see what I can do. Now you want breakfast?" he turns in her arms.
"Yes please", she gives him a peck on the lips and walks over to the kitchen counter. They ate peacefully and she got dressed right after.
"Ok, Castle, I'll see you later, Lanie and I will go and take a drink when we're done so I'll be home a little later."
"Much fun, I'll wait for you," he says and she smirks in return but can't help the smile that's replacing it.
"I love you", she kisses him deeply, let's her hands slide through his hair and his hands pulling her hips towards him.
"Love you too", he responds as they pull away and she give him one last kiss before she walks out the door.
"Where should I place this, Kate?" Lanie asks.
"Oh, you can just put all books in one package, they'll fill more than one," Kate watches as Lanie smiles and opens another moving box and she starts to pack some office utensils herself. They do that in silence for a while til Lanie takes another book and a folded piece of paper falls to the ground.
"Uh, Kate, something fell out of one of your books, it looks like a letter or a torn page."
"Lemme see," Kate leans over to take it from Lanie and she immediately recognizes what it was.
"Excuse me, I'm gonna go to the bathroom," she just gets a nod from her friend, disappears into her bedroom and starts to unfold the letter. She completely forgot about it, didn't even remember where she had placed it.
The letter she wrote to herself about two and a half years ago when she began to date Castle. The letter she wrote to try to express her feelings at that time. The letter she wrote to keep her future self to doubt anything about their relationship.
She's not doubting right now, everything seems ideal, Castle returned home months ago and they learned to live with the two months he can't remember. Also they're still perfectly happy in their engagement and someday their wedding day is going to come, it's going to be great. But she decides to read the letter anyway since it can't do any damage.
Dear Future Me,
Writing this letter might be silly and unnecessary but someday I will doubt. I know I will doubt something, I don't know what and I don't know when but I most definitely will because never in my life have I not doubted anything. I am me and my sometimes good and sometimes bad habit to question everything around me won't disappear so I write this letter to prevent any decision I could possibly make that could destroy everything we worked for.
I love Richard Castle. I love this man with all of my heart and I will for the rest of my life for sure.
He's the most caring and loving man I've ever met and I might not be able to find the words to tell him how much I love him like he can but I do hope that he can see how much I love him by my actions. Everything I do is kind of for him and the most random things we did way before we started dating mean more.
I love it when he takes my hand in his, stroking the upper side of it, soothing my skin with the light touches of his fingers. Oh yeah his hands can do so much to me, not only can they drive me crazy or care my own fingers, they can do so much more. They can gently cup my cheek whenever he feels like kissing me, they can hold me tightly in his embrace every time I need it. They can make me coffee :)
I love when his broad chest can be my hiding place when nothing can help me, when he lifts the weight off of my shoulders and burdens it like it means nothing.
Always the strong one in our relationship. One might think I am the one that is rational and keeps the feet on the ground but he is the one. He's the one that stays with me, fierce when I'm vulnerable and don't know how to keep going. I'm way more broken and he is the only one in the world that knows me and still decides to stay.
No one else ever did that for me. Everybody walked away sooner or later, on purpose or not, they did. But he is different.
He has always been different and he is always going to be. He can read me, he can sense my emotions from miles away, he consistently knows what I need and does everything to get it.
Richard Castle is my soulmate, this might sound cheesy but I'm pretty sure of that, never been surer, and I will do everything to keep him. He is mine now and he will be forever, I will never consider letting him go. I probably wouldn't survive that.
I might sound completely intoxicated with love and out of my usual comfort zone but it's true. It's truer than anything else I have ever said in my whole life.
I'm going to marry this man someday and may Madison Queller never hear me say these words but I want little Castle babies. Damn yes I want them.
With his eyes, tiny blue Castle eyes, and brown smooth hair, oh we would have cute little babies.
But the point is besides every bad thing that is going to happen to us, every fight we will have, we will be amazing. We will go through everything together and we will be perfectly happy, I'm certain of that.
It's not like we haven't lived through tough times before, countless times we almost died, fights that we have overcome and we can do this for the rest of our lives, hopefully without the almost dying thing.
We love each other and for now this is enough, it will always be enough.
The love I feel for him never fails to amaze me.
So to say I love him, I will always love him and someday we will be married and have kids. (It's not as if he's never hinted at anything like that before.)
But for now I can live with the small things like the discreetly light touches under my desk in the precinct or at the coffee machine in the break room, secret make out sessions in the observation room or just our theorizing in- and outside of the job. (Always had fun with that even if I acted like I didn't.)
I can't imagine being happier than I am now but I look forward to everything that is going to come.
To you, future me reading that, don't ever doubt him, don't ever doubt your relationship. You've got what so many people dream of, just keep going and everything will be fine, I promise.
Love,
KB
Wow. Kate folds the paper again, tears rolling down her cheeks, luckily not falling on the note. She wants to save this letter forever, read it again whenever she feels like it, maybe even show it to Castle someday when he doesn't feel good. She's not going to add to his ego but sometimes he needs the feeling to be needed and loved just like she does.
It was a good idea to read this letter, only reassured her more. She doesn't doubt, she doesn't feel like giving up and she never will just like she wrote it in the letter. Kate is positively surprised that she planned all that shortly after she started dating Castle. Amazed by how far she was already thinking back then.
She gets up, puts the paper in her pocket and wipes the mascara from under her eyes before she walks out of the bathroom to help Lanie again.
"Everything alright with you", she asks as Kate enters the room.
"Yeah yeah, it's okay", she replies.
"What did you find?"
"A little letter I wrote to myself a few years ago."
"Let me guess; about Writer man?" (Beckett had insisted on her calling him 'Writer man' instead of 'Writer boy'; her dear friend is so in love)
Kate's smile is all the answer she needs.
"You've always been drunk in love with this man", Lanie laughs. She just shrugs and starts packing her stuff again.
When she is ready with Lanie and they both had their drinks Katherine Beckett is going to go home to her very-soon-to-be husband and nothing can be better.
Their future is right in front of them.
So that's it. Hate it? Like it? I would love to read some reviews and sorry if it's OOC or anything. Oh and sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes, I'm bad at all of this.
Thank you for reading :)