AN: Just a quick quartet of thank yous, three of them to SalTalStudios, one for the invite to the collection, two for the encouragement to write and third, for having such a wonderful community to be a part of. And the final thank you goes to Warden or WardenInTheNorth for his proofreading.
This oneshot was written for the Harry/Luna April Fools Collection on SalTalStudios discord. Check out the other submissions by looking in the FFN community or the AO3 collection. Please feel free to join using this link: discord. gg / hq5ZvYYMA7 (remove the spaces).
with no further delays:
IIII
Harry Potter was on his way to The Three Broomsticks after his Valentine's date with Cho Chang. Despite the awkward first date, he had promised to give an interview for Luna Lovegood for her father to publish in his magazine, The Quibbler. Hermione and Ron didn't join him for the interview because they were busy; Hermione was studying for the O. and Ron was spending the day with his date, Lavender Brown.
Harry pulled open the door to The Three Broomsticks and quickly stepped to the side as Rita Skeeter went past him through the doors that he had unwittingly opened for her. Harry watched Rita sprint to the apparition point. She tripped on the hem of her robe right before she got to the designated point and fell face-first into a witch who had just apparated in. Harry failed to hold in his laughter as he entered the inn. The mirth could still be seen on his face as he ordered a butterbeer for himself, Luna, and the now absent Rita. He could always have two if Rita failed to return.
"Oh hello Harry, I see you're also late. Miss Skeeter was early, but she didn't care for my conversation. I think she went to go get a quill," Luna greeted as Harry approached the corner table in the inn's common room.
"Uh, yeah, sorry for being late Luna. My date went longer than I expected," explained Harry as he offered Luna one of his procured drinks.
Luna shook her head as she denied the drink, "I don't drink butterbeer, Daddy and I have a theory that Butterbeer attracts Nargles. Enough of my things go missing already, drinking that would only be asking for more things to get borrowed."
"The Nargles?" Harry asked after he took a sip from one of his now three drinks.
"Yes, Harry the Nargles," Luna explained exasperated, "they'd borrow your broom and leave it laying around The Library when they get bored of it! I normally find my socks but I'm currently down one or two. I miss my thestral one…"
This confused Harry more. "Your thestral themed socks? You have thestral themed socks? Wait, aren't thestrals invisible? But we're here for a-"
"No! Harry, I'm missing my single, thestral themed sock. Why would anyone need more than one thestral sock?" Luna interrupted with a huff. "And yes, we're here for an interview, but Rita, the reporter, left to get a quill."
"What happened to her quill? You'd have thought she'd bring one to write an article." Harry questioned before seeing an acid green quill weaved into Luna's hair, "You have a quill tucked into your ear, surely she could've asked to use that rather than running off to get one?"
"But Harry, this is the quill Rita had when she entered! I'm not quite sure how it got into my hair though." At this, she adjusted her bottlecap necklace, moved her hair to the side and looked up with blue eyes at Harry, "Maybe the wrackspurts are playing again? She would've seen the quill I'm sure. You found it and you wear glasses! Oh no. I'm sorry Harry but I've got plans to meet Ginny before we both head back to Hogwarts and I was hoping we'd be done quickly with the article. You won't mind if I write the article would you?"
"Uh, I'm not sure Luna-" Harry tried doubtfully.
"-I even have questions to ask you already though! It'll be quick I promise!" Luna chirped as she pulled a sheet of rolled parchment from the seat next to her.
"Err, why do you have questions prepared Luna? I thought Rita was doing the article?"
"I have questions prepared for most of the people I know. Like for Ron, 'Where did your pet rat go?' He was cute and liked cheese. I even have questions about Hermione's favorite combinations of parchment and quill here somewhere," Luna returned brightly as she pulled more rolls of parchment from beside her.
"And you just have these kinds of questions for everyone you know?"
"Of course I do, Harry, I've got plenty of questions to ask you!"
"But isn't the article supposed to be about what happened at the end of The Triwizard Tournament and how the Ministry is keeping it quiet?" Harry shifted uncomfortably at the change.
"Fine, you spoilsport! I'll write the article." Luna leaned in and continued in a hushed tone. "But you'll owe me, Harry Potter. Now, in your own words, describe to me what you think a Crumple-Horned Snorkack would look like."
"Uh, well, I'd guess their horns are crumpled to start with…"
The pair was asked to return to Hogwarts by Rosemerta when the sun had officially left the sky. They continued the interview in the kitchens over some juice and sandwiches.
IIII
The article in The Quibbler didn't have the intended effect. The words of the wizarding world hero were heard, but they were mixed and twisted with the narrative that Harry was only looking for more attention. When the trusted people of The Daily Prophet, or rather Daily Prophet Head Reporter Rita Skeeter, admitted to, 'being ran out of the interview due to how skeptical she was of the whole story'. The article lost all of the credibility Harry's notoriety afforded it.
The article wasn't taken well outside of Hogwarts, but it was reacted to worse inside the school by both student and teacher alike. Seamus Finnegan's mother requested that her son be moved to a different dormitory in Gryffindor Tower, he now bunks with the twins. Cho Chang officially and publicly broke up with Harry, and Luna apologized, for what, Harry wasn't sure. Professor Umbridge took the article the worst.
After the Valentine's Day Hogsmeade visit, a trio of new decrees were posted throughout all of the house common rooms and were even plastered over Filch's door, as if that'd help them be seen.
Decree 28, The reading, or possession of non-academic literature is forbidden, this includes recreational literature and tabloids such as The Quibbler.
Decree 29, Male Students should not be within 5 feet of female students.
Decree 30, Any gathering of students in numbers greater than 3 is forbidden unless the group has been listed as an approved team or club. Examples of approved clubs are: the house quidditch teams, The Chess Club, The Gobstones Club, and the Defense Association. The process for approval of new clubs is to be started with High Inquisitor Umbridge's approval.
The decrees were restrictive and the enforcement of them was harsher than before, Colin Creevey spent nearly two weeks in detention when the moving staircase put him on the same landing as a group of second-year girls. Colin could be heard muttering 'I must follow the rules' as people passed him in the halls. Ron had almost gotten in trouble for continuing the four-person Hogwarts branch of The Chudley Cannon Fan Club one night.
The weeks after Valentine's Day were the harshest of the year for the school and its inhabitants. Students were late to class so that they could adhere to Decree 29. The couples that went undiscovered during Prefect sweeps of broom closets and unused classrooms refused to share where they had found in the large castle to be alone. Muggleborn and muggle-raised students had been required to turn in their recreational reading books. But, The Quibbler had only raised in popularity, with Luna managing to get copies inside of Hogwarts disguised as textbooks with help from the Weasley twins.
The Quidditch teams were practising hard, seeking the air as a reprieve from the restrictions found below. The Gobstones Club had actually seen a boost in activity after Decree 30 mentioned it by name as an example of approved clubs. The Defense Association, or "DA" as the students called it, had been going strong since gaining approval as a study group supervised by Pureblood, Head Boy Roger Davies, who had contacted his father and with his help gotten the peer-based study group approved by Umbridge after assuring her that Harry Potter would not be a part of it.
Harry Potter's March was slow and relatively uneventful. His schedule was surprisingly free for the year after being removed from the quidditch team following his fight with Draco. After his date with Cho Chang remained a one time occasion and after he was further vilified as being a liar by the Ministry due to the article in The Quibbler.
Harry Potter could usually be found in the library with either Hermione or Luna, as Ron had Quidditch most days, though he was often joined by all sorts of students. One day Fred Weasley visited Harry and Hermione, then they spent the afternoon studying Charms. The morning after that Harry and Hermione were joined by George Wesley who reviewed his Transfiguration with the duo. The afternoon after that Harry and Susan Bones helped Luna work on her potions essay. Luna had, unnoticed by Harry, been his constant study partner for the last few weeks. Hermione had been spending more and more time with Roger Davies busy with the planning of the Defense Association and Luna had simply been around Harry. She was with him and his friends for meals and she'd be the first to jump up to find the group's study table in the library.
IIII
The library is where Harry found Luna after lunch one day, almost half an hour earlier then their agreed time with Ron. She had already found them a table and was in possession of the books both of them would need for the day, Charms and You for her and The Seer's Foresight for Harry.
"How did you know I needed to finish my divination essay Luna?"
"Well Harry, I just asked the wrackspurts, they said you were very busy last night celebrating your house team's win and forgot to do your homework. Though they kept singing about lordships and mustelids, they were rather excited with all the noise."
"The wrackspurts are the ones who feed on high emotions right?"
"Not really Harry, wrackspurts are invisible little creatures that make your head go dizzy and talk you into making bad decisions."
"How do you even talk with them if they make your head dizzy?"
"That's easy Harry, we can go to the Arithmancy section and I can show you, if you'd like to that is. The arithmancy section should be complicated enough."
"I don't really need to do this essay for a while," Harry compromised
"And I can have Ginny check over my charms work before we hand it in," Luna offered.
"Plus, Ron isn't even here yet," Harry agreed.
They both left the borrowed texts unopened as they moved towards the arithmancy shelves. Arithmancy, being a highly complex subject based on numbers and long theories, made up a large section of the library for those seeking help.
"Now Harry, in order to see the wrackspurts, you need to wear these. You haven't made yours yet, but I'm sure you can use mine for this introduction. Daddy and I call them spectrespecs. You'll need to take off your glasses though Harry, here let me," Luna explained passionately while making sure to swap the eyewear.
"Uh Luna, I don't see anything." Harry looked around, not focusing on any one thing. "What am I looking for?"
"Well Harry, We need to read some arithmancy books to get our heads ready to see them." Luna handed a dusty tome that looked as if it hadn't been moved from the shelf in decades. "This one should do. Get reading Harry!"
Harry started to read the book, he could see none of it let alone comprehend it, the book lost him at 'a memoir to my-'
"Perfect Harry, now look up! They should be here!" True to Luna's claims, Harry saw a group of floating pixies that seemed to have the color drained from them and were merely transparent outlines on what one would call a fairy. Harry listened carefully and heard indiscernible words being spoken. "Quick, Harry, you need to spin! The wrackspurts make your head dizzy so you can't hear them, spin the other way to understand them!"
Harry had no reason to not listen to Luna as she had yet to lead him astray, and so then Harry began to spin counterclockwise. As he did the laughter of the monochrome pixies became perceivable. So, Harry sped up, which allowed him to hear their hummed words. Harry began to spin even faster but all that happened was Luna's laughter as he fell to the floor.
"You did it Harry! Didn't you hear their song? And the hum-" started Luna while nearly jumping up and down.
"Hum-ming," finished Harry, "I heard their humming and it was beautiful. Thanks for showing me this."
Luna blushed at Harry's unmoving gaze, "A-any time Harry. But maybe we should check to see if Ron showed up yet?"
They returned to their table to see a tired Ron snoring with his head laid back. The approach wasn't quiet, "I'm not sleeping, I swear, just resting my eyes!" exclaimed the not-sleeping redhead. "Er, uh why are you two wearing each other's glasses?"
The pair quickly met gazes, "What are you talking about Ron? The wrackspurts must be clouding your head," explained Harry quickly.
"Let's just study, Ron. You took divination last year right? Do you remember this book at all?"
Ron shrugged and the study session went mostly as planned, the only noise was Luna laughing at Harry's attempts to read with her bespeckled glasses.
The revolving door of students studying with Harry and Luna continued for most of March until one afternoon Luna persuaded Daphne Greengrass to not come one afternoon in late March, leaving just her and Harry to study Care of Magical Creatures.
IIII
Harry was shocked and drew the ire of Madam Pince as the book on Kneazles he held slipped from his hands to the floor, "Y-your date for, April Fools'? I'm not sure that is what people do for the holiday Luna."
"Of course, people go for dates on April Fools' Day, Harry! I overheard Fred and George talk about how they'd be giving Angelia and Alicia a great surprise!"
"I don't think they meant that romantically Luna, I think they're planning a prank."
"A prank instead of a date on April Fools' Day? How cruel can you be on the day?"
"I think the whole holiday is for pranking people and pulling jokes on them Luna. The twins adore it. You don't really go out on dates," Harry tried to elaborate with poorly used hand motions.
"But Harry, don't you know that Ravenclaw hosts a house party every year on the day? They even got approval somehow from Umbridge!" Luna was undeterred and crossed her arms as she stared down at the still-sitting Harry, "You owe me a favor Harry. While I would've loved using it to bring you with me and Daddy to Sweden for the summer, this'll have to do."
"Why me though, Luna? Neville took you to the Yule ball, right?" Harry felt bad, Neville had confided in him just the other day that he fancied Ginny and was working up the courage to ask her to the next Hogsmeade trip, but he needed a redirection.
"I want you to take me, Harry. I wouldn't ask if I didn't mean it. I wouldn't have been with you studying all these days because I didn't want to be around you Harry, you've never called me Loony, you've never laughed at my Nargles infestations." Luna was breathing heavily as she vented everything to Harry "You've never ridiculed me, and my obsession of rare magical creatures and you even helped me find my thestral sock that somehow got put into that suit of armor! I've spent this past month thinking of ways to ask you to be my date, but if I need to use this favor for it, I will." Harry was quiet and seemed to sink into himself.
Harry looked down at his shoes.
Luna searched for Harry's gaze.
Harry kicked the book at his feet.
Luna waited for a response, anything.
Harry looked up at Luna after feeling her eyes stay on him for so long, "Luna, none of those reasons are why you should want me as a date." Harry rolled up his parchment and stood up. "Just because I don't steal your things or call you ridiculous names doesn't mean we would work out in a relationship. I already tried that with Cho this year and look how that worked out."
Luna was near tears and she was shivering as if it was snowing inside the library. "But Harry, I like you, you owe me a favor- and I want to use it here."
Harry smiled as he shook his head, "I really can't let you do that Luna."
"It's my favor, you can't just say no Harry!"
"I already said I can't let you waste your favor here Luna." Luna shook like a leaf; a breeze or a breath from a thestral could knock her over. "I don't want to take you on a date because I treated you how everyone else should've Luna. I just can't do that." All of her planning had failed, her time spent for naught. He said no, even her wildcard hadn't worked.
Harry pulled out a green quill. "I can't take you to the Ravenclaw House Party because I was nice to you Luna. I refuse to take you because of that." With a flick of his wand the quill began to write, "I'd love to take the girl who stole Rita Skeeter's quill from her to have a one-on-one interview with me, I'd love to accompany the girl clever enough to hide a piece of clothing somewhere in the castle just so she could spend time with the boy she fancied. And I'd love to spend more time with the girl who gave up a front-page article placement in The Quibbler to the Greengrass family to ask me out on a date."
"This better not be a joke, Harry."
"A joke for April Fools' Day? Who would be so cruel?" Harry reached for the quick-quill inked note and handed it to Luna.
The note simply read, 'I'd love to be your April Fool, Luna. Signed Harry Potter.'