Sitting tightly in his cheap-as-shit, creaky black wheel chair with his hands tapping away at the keys of his laptop, Yung Dramps was mulling over potential ideas for his next fanfiction project. The young adult with a gray hoodie and a gas mask resembling a very elderly aquamarine-skinned dragon continued to jot down his ideas onto a Google doc, ideas he may or may not ever produce the willpower to ever expand into a full story considering he barely got through Ascended Adventure to begin with and had already lost interest in another short story he had been typing up just a couple of weeks prior. In that moment, while pondering over what he had done so far and what he was currently doing, he suddenly had an epiphany - or was it just a groggy stress-induced delusion of wanting spring break to just come already to get his mind off his tanking grades? Either way, he finally made a key realization.
"Of course! Why did I even bother going through the effort of typing up a story about a character like Grandpa Gohan?" he asked to himself, leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his back. "Nobody gives a crap anyway, AA got less traction than my old unfinished story about Broly that legit fell off a cliff in terms of logical cohesion before fizzling out! I need to get hip and with this site's userbase! And I know just the way to do that..."
With a new sense of vigor and spirit for his high-class craft, Yung Dramps opened up a new document and began typing away his magnum opus.
The scene at the badlands battlefield was utterly dire. Despite literally performing the exact same strategy as he had done in canon, Goku was now losing badly against the evil Saiyan prince Vegeta, who despite suffering really bad armor damage was still standing tall and proud. Chi-Chi was also there fighting alongside her husband for some reason, her clothes conveniently damaged in such a way as to expose basically everything but her nipples.
"You fuckhead, you clown, you dumb prick," Vegeta haughtily exclaimed, "you could never defeat me, for I am the Prince of all Saiyans, the supreme warrior, the top banana!" His chuckles masked him from the pain of his half-broken spinal cord as well preventing him initially seeing the new warrior who was approaching the battlefield. Goku and Chi-Chi did manage to see him, however, and their eyes sparkled upon doing so. Vegeta, on the other hand, shuddered to see the black-cloaked, long-haired fighter with a dark brown tail and deep red eyes.
"Z-Zaizor! My greatest enemy!" Vegeta exclaimed, barely restraining himself from urinating his scratched-up pants upon gazing intently into Zaizor's oiled-up pecs.
"Your end has come, Vegeta!" Zaizor roared, causing every woman (and even a few men) within a 100-mile radius of the sight to wet themselves from the sheer holy force of his vocal cords. "I, the Saiyan Zaizor, shall deliver justice to the Saiyans by defeating a bad Saiyan like you. In my Saiyan training I have uncovered a new Saiyan form, which came to me during my Saiyan dishwashing routine at Grand Kai's place! Now, observe a Saiyan's true Saiyan might, Saiyan!"
If Vegeta didn't involuntarily relieve himself before, he sure did now when he witnessed Zaizor's transformation. Despite his legs not changing in size at all his upper body bloat- I mean expanded so much that his voluptuous veins covered every inch of his chest and arms, developing even sexier veins themselves. More notably his jet black hair tripled in size, dragging across the ground as a mile-wide cape of sorts and morphing into a deep brown color!
"No, it's impossible!" Vegeta stammered in awe upon Zaizor's transformation finishing. "Not the Legendary Super Saiyan Brown! That's a forbidden form! Only my estranged uncle ever knew about it back on Planet Vegeta, he kept telling me the secret to attaining it was in his white spaceship but my father would never let me go in there for some reason! HOW DID YOU UNLOCK IT?!"
"It's simple, Vegeta." Zaizor replied in a gravelly growl that made rocks around him crack and dissolve into sand. "The Saiyans back on Planet Vegeta never knew how to build with brown bricks in Minecrap!"
With this battle cry, Zaizor teleported to Vegeta's location in the blink of an eye and kicked him directly up into the mesosphere. While he was totally paralyzed in mid-air, Vegeta's arch-nemesis charged his ultimate beam, the Bile Blaster, which he aimed directly up at him.
"IT'S THE MOST FUN ONE CAN HAVE!" he screamed before firing the beam, which upon making contact with Vegeta vaporized him within milliseconds. But it didn't stop there - conveniently enough Freeza Planet 79, Babidi's ship, Moro's chamber at the Galactic Patrol Prison and Planet Cereal were all aligned and caught in the ever-expanding beam's line of fire, killing their inhabitants instantly.
Zaizor powered down to his base form, by which point Goku, Chi-Chi, Gohan and Krillin all came in to give him a big hug. He didn't really pay attention, however - all he could think of was the dozens of pages' worth of smut that would result from his new quest to become Earth's mightiest bachelor. But that's a story for another day... A day that will hopefully never come because good lord was this painful to write, even ironically.
APRIL FOOLS! As obvious as that was...