Y'all, I cranked like sixty percent of this out in one day — and then the rest in like three. It turned out longer than I meant it to, of course, but it's probably the fastest I've ever gotten through a multi-chapter story like this.

I think it's fun, but there are feels too, which I didn't mean for there to be so much of. I don't actively ship SouHaru, but I understand why they're a thing. I was reading through some one-shots about them, and I found myself missing the tension that's so essential to they're dynamic. In most of what I read, they were being super soft and cute toward one another, and that's fine and all, but I need explanation and build up to that, because what I see when I look at Haru and Sousuke is a whole lot of friction. And because I'm a glutton for drama, I absolutely love to watch them fight. So that's where and why this story was born.

We're looking at this as though the OVA never happened. It's established that Haru and Sousuke legitimately hate each other, and everyone knows it. So this should be fun.

I tried to break it up into reasonably balanced chapters, but in reality, you're probably going to get some uneven uploads. So, my bad.

Also, OC is an Aussie, and speaks pretty exclusive English, which is depicted with italics. When there is something in his dialogue that is not italicized, it's the one or two things that Haru and Sousuke are able to understand. Apologies to all my Aussies. I tried to capture at least a glimpse of the dialect.

Okay, that's enough. Proceed.

It's hot in Australia. He doesn't much care for that. Last time, it was cold, and he didn't care for that either. But the shock of leaving one climate and entering another with such a drastic shift in between is not his favorite. Supposedly, there's nothing he can do about that.

"Let me know when you get to Rin's, okay?"

"Mm."

"Is it too much to ask you to give him a hug for me?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well, I put his birthday present in the left pocket of your book bag. Don't forget about it."

"Mm."

"Tell him I hate that I'm missing it."

"You already told him that yourself."

"Yes, I know, but tell him again, because I really really hate it. I'd much rather be there with you guys. I feel like my brain is going to explode."

"You'll be here after you pass your exam."

"You mean if I pass my exam."

"When you pass. You'll be fine. You're smart."

Makoto heaves a giant sigh in his ear. "Thank you, Haru-chan. I hope you're right. Did you find your ride yet?"

He's just walking out to the pick-up/drop-off bay, when Makoto asks, and his eyes scan the constantly moving crowd of cars and people. He doesn't really even know what he's looking for. Rin's "friend" most likely looks like all the other strange faces straggling around. Haru's never met him before. All he knows is that he's looking for a Lucas with blond hair … There's a lot of blond hair.

"No," he submits, electing simply to stand close to the wall.

"Go ahead and give Rin a call then. And don't forget to text me."

"Sure."

"Have fun, Haru-chan."

"Mm."

The call ends. He tugs on the collar of his hoodie where he's already beginning to sweat a little, but he doesn't take it off. He puts the phone back to his ear instead.

"He'll be there in like two seconds," are Rin's first words.

"Why couldn't you come?" Haru asks dryly. His voice is flatter than he actually feels. He'd really rather not ride in a foreign car with a stranger.

"It's the last day of training before the break. They wouldn't let me skip out. And you're not worth it anyway."

"Thanks."

"I'm joking, Haru. Relax. We're almost done here. I just didn't want to have you sitting there for another three hours. Lucas was closer anyway. I had him pick up- … someone else a little earlier."

Haru rolls his eyes to himself. That doesn't exactly make it better. "Lucas doesn't swim."

"No, Haru, but you can trust him. I promise. He's really friendly. And he's been practicing his Japanese, he said … I haven't heard it yet, but you can probably have some kind of conversation with him."

He doesn't want to have a conversation. He means to say that out loud, but he stays silent instead. During this lull, a silver Kia noisily whips into the pick-up bay and screeches to a halt next to the curb, nearly rear-ending the van in front of it.

Very vaguely does Haru find himself hoping that this is not the car he's waiting for, but he is also not surprised when the driver emerges with sweeping blond hair and a bleached smile directed at Haru specifically. He sticks a hand up and waves wildly, like Haru isn't already staring right at him.

"Hello!"

Haru frowns just a little bit. "Is Lucas loud?"

"Mm, yeah, I suppose he can be sometimes."

The blond man continues to wave, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. "Haru!"

"Is he like Nagisa, but taller with blue eyes … and maybe more annoying?"

"Yeah, pretty much. You see him?"

The blond man is still jumping, still waving. "Haru, hi! It's me, Lucas!"

Haru sighs. "Does he drive a Kia?" he asks futilely, in a frail last attempt to be directed elsewhere.

"Yeah, silver. Haru, I can hear him screaming at you in the background."

Haru rolls his eyes again, and then hangs up without courtesy and finally slumps over to the shiny man and his shiny car. Lucas smiles even brighter, and Haru already has a headache. The Aussie grabs his hand and shakes it vigorously the very moment that Haru makes it close enough.

"Hey, mate! Wake from death and return to life. Good to finally meet ya! Rin talks about ya all the time. You look exactly like he said. Wow, you've got yourself some soft hands theah. Good grip though. Rin said you'd know this guy heah in the back. His hands are huge! Thought he was gonna break all my fingahs. I'll put your stuff in the back, yea? You hop on in."

He shakes Haru's hand the whole while that he speaks his stream of gibberish, and Haru just stares until he lets go and opens the back door, gesturing for him to get in, while he takes Haru's bag off his his back. Haru doesn't know how to tell him he'd rather keep it with him, so he doesn't say anything, and instead ducks his head to get in the car. But he stops short with a low bend to his back and doesn't move any further after he catches sight of Yamazaki Sousuke's massive bulk taking up space in the seat on the opposite side of the car.

Sousuke is scrolling through his phone, so he doesn't notice Haru immediately, but when he does eventually look up, the quickest flash of unbridled shock crosses his teal gaze, before its replaced almost instantly by disgust. The squint in Haru's gaze isn't all that different, though Sousuke probably can't read it.

"Oh, hell no." Sousuke taps quickly at his phone, looking back at it to find the right number, and puts it to his ear, but Haru's already in the motion of doing the same, and Rin answers him first.

"Rin."

"Fuck," Sousuke hisses.

"There's a hideous creature in your friend's car."

Sousuke's face pinches and he turns away to push himself out of the vehicle. Haru stands and takes a couple of steps back as Sousuke's hulking body stretches up to its full height and slams the door.

"Oh my god, it's huge," Haru says into the phone, eyes following Sousuke as he marches around Lucas and the car, and walks straight up to snatch the phone out of Haru's hand.

Haru resists, back teeth grinding together as they fight over it tug-of-war style. The vague echo of Rin speaking gets muffled by his palm. Neither of them say anything to each other, but the energy they resist one another with is rather deafening.

Haru tries to hug the phone close to his chest and turn his body away so that Sousuke's grip will slip away, but the whale-of-a-man shoves their shoulders together, sending his shadow across Haru's lithe body as he bares down on him with his weight and forcefully pries the mobile device out of his hands, giving him a good shove in the process.

Haru stumbles, but remains on his feet, and shoots Sousuke with the nastiest glare he can muster, which the larger man ignores.

"Of course, you would pull some shit like this," he's busy saying into the phone. "Why the hell would you- …" Sousuke breathes out of his nose like a bull, jaw flexing. "No, I most definitely would not … So you were just going to stuff us in the same car and hope that we'd hold hands on the way to your place? … Because you could have fucking said something beforehand!"

Haru turns away. He bypasses the other man and closes the trunk of the car. Lucas has just enough time not to get his fingers crushed as he jumps back, and then smiles at Haru again.

"Oh sorry, mate! Looks like we had a bit of a spillage in the back. Was just trying to tidy up a bit to fit your stuff. I really need to clean out my cah."

Haru grabs his sleeve and drags him up to the open driver's door, where he shoves him in, shuts the door behind him, and then dives into the backseat.

"Go," he says in his best English as he manually locks all of the doors.

Lucas blinks over his shoulder at him. "Oh, you're ready. Right, I'll just grab this othah guy and we'll be off, yea?"

Haru stands, leaning over Lucas to force the driver's door shut before he can really get it open. He locks that one too and waves a hand to gesture for him to get a move on.

"Let's go. Drive. Before he gets back in."

"Well, you're in a hurry ahn't ya? Melon field under a palm tree." Lucas chuckles — like it's funny. "One second, mate. I think Sousuke's still on the phone."

"Please …" Haru gestures with all his might. "Drive the car. Forward. Go. Now."

Sousuke's finally caught on that he's the only one not in the car, and he pounds a fist on Haru's window after trying to open the door.

"Uh oh. Door's locked."

Haru snatches Lucas's hand before he can press the button to unlock the car. He manually turns the steering wheel himself and pats Lucas's knee urgently.

"The gas here. The gas pedal is here. Step on it. Go."

"Mate, I think you have to have a foreign license, if you want to drive. Have you got one on ya?"

Sousuke's gotten around to the other side of the car by now, and he's yanking so hard on the handle that it shakes the whole vehicle.

"Nanase!"

"Whoops, I'll get that."

Haru's too slow to stop him this time, and Sousuke whips the door open hardly a millisecond after the locks click. He ducks his head immediately, scowling, as he climbs in and closes himself inside. Haru huffs out a pout as he plops down and turns his head away. It was worth a shot. Maybe he can get back on the plane.

"You're fucking hilarious," Sousuke grumbles, strapping on his seatbelt. He presses a button on Haru's phone, that he's still holding captive, and holds it out between them. "Alright," he sighs reluctantly. "You're on speaker."

"Haru, can you hear me?" Rin says.

Haru rolls his eyes, arms now crossed stubbornly over his chest.

"He can hear you," Sousuke gruffs in his place.

"Haruka."

"Don't call me that," Haru snaps, even though he knows he's just fallen for the ploy.

"Okay good," Rin says. "Listen, I'm sorry, but it was the only way to get you two to agree to come down at the same time. It's not that bad, I promise. You're more alike than you think."

Sousuke scoffs.

"Trust me, you are," Rin iterates. "For instance, you're both assholes. How could you make your best friend beg you to come hang out for one week? It's my birthday. Surely you stubborn bitches can suck it up long enough to make it a good week. Because I'm your friend, and you love me," he says. It sounds very much like a threat though.

"Not that much," Haru mumbles. Sousuke shoots a look at him, and he can feel it, but he doesn't look back.

"Haru, I know you're grumbling under your breath," Rin says. "One car ride, and then you guys can get through the rest of the week at least five meters apart, if you must. You'll live."

"How long is the car ride?" Sousuke demands, as though he does not agree with the "living" part of that prediction.

Rin hesitates for much too long. "Hardly over an hour."

"An hour?" Sousuke barks. Haru just shoots a wide-eyed glare at the phone, as though Rin can feel it from the other side. "You said you moved outside the city, you didn't say you went to the other side of the fucking continent!"

"It's not that long," Rin argues. His voice is dripping with exasperation.

"Fucking hell."

"Rin," Haru speaks up, pushing open his door. "I'll see you when you get back to Japan."

"Tch. Haru …"

Sousuke has already snatched Haru by the hood of his sweater and yanks him back so hard that the door closes again. Haru wrinkles his nose and whips around to slap his hand away. Sousuke just tightens his glare and reaches over Haru to push the lock down, declaring that Haru will not be bailing on his watch.

"If I have to be here, so do you," he hisses through his teeth.

"That makes no sense," Haru argues back. "If I go back home, I don't have to look at your face. And you can ride in the car with Other Nagisa by yourself."

"You're supposed to be here for Rin."

"Like you want me to be."

"I really don't, but for whatever reason, he insists on keeping you."

"I can hear you," Rin's voice shouts. "I swear to god. You're the most selfish man-children on the face of this planet. If Lucas pulls up tonight, and I don't see both of you get out of that car alive and getting along, I'm killing whoever's left. Give the phone to Lucas, I'm done talking to you."

Sousuke huffs in stubborn defeat and shoves Haru's phone out for their driver, who has just been blinking over his shoulder at them during this entire exchange. His eyes brighten, and he takes the phone with a cheerful smile.

"Rin!" he shouts, voice echoing under the roof of the car. "Yea, how ya goin?"

"Listen," Sousuke says harshly under his breath, turning his glare back to Haru, who looks away. "You don't like me; I get it. I don't like you; you know that. Let's not waste our breath over it on this trip. I'm here for Rin, because he asked me to be. He's an ass, but that doesn't mean I want to make his birthday miserable. You're supposed to be his friend too, so probably act like it, and try not to be so … you. Okay?"

Haru wrinkles his nose and swings a half-lidded glare back over his shoulder. He doesn't respond. Sousuke's expression pinches, as though he's really resisting throttling Haru with those meaty hands of his.

"You're already doing it," he nags. Haru looks away again. "That." Sousuke points. "That thing, right there. You act like a perpetual thirteen-year-old."

"You act like an old man," Haru mumbles in return.

"Oooh, I see … Yea. Nah, don't worry 'bout it, mate. You can count on me. We'll be theah in a jiff. No problem … Cheers!"

Lucas hangs up Haru's phone and holds it out between him and Sousuke, smiling with all of his teeth. Haru takes it and lets his back fall against the seat heavily.

"Right, we're off then. Promise not to take too long. You two just sit back and try to get on, yea? Heard you like to have a blue at one anothah every now and then. That's alright, we'll get on. Be best friends by the end of the ride. Make sure you're strapped in theah. A frog in the well does not know the great sea."

Sousuke and Haru both stare at him blankly. He beams at them, and then turns around in his seat.

For just the smallest, briefest of kindred seconds, Haru and Sousuke both glance at each other warily, checking to make sure they are indeed on the same page in having no idea what their driver just said. It's agreed upon quickly, and then they've already turned their gazes away.

Lucas puts the car in drive, and then whips out so fast, that Haru ends up getting snapped against the door, while Sousuke chokes on his seatbelt, and the car coming up from behind them has to honk and slam on its breaks. Lucas doesn't appear to notice.

The moment they're out of the underpass and on the main road, Lucas floors the gas, weaving the car haphazardly through traffic, but with a content, casual smile, as though nothing is out of the ordinary. Meanwhile, Haru's gripping the seat so tightly, his fingers are going cold. Sousuke has a hand on the handle above the window, and his jaw is locked.

"So you blokes have been 'round here before, I heard. Glad to be back? When's the last time ya came? Did Rin take you by the opera house? Most everyone wants to visit theah, when they come. Pretty famous 'round the world. 'Course, you guys have Tokyo Towah, dontcha? Haven't seen it myself, but Rin promised to take me on a visit some time. Is the flight long back to Japan?"

Haru squints, as though this is going to translate whatever this guy is saying. His shoulders are shrugged up to his ears at an attempt to keep him still while the car jerks and weaves. He looks to Sousuke out of the corner of his eye, hoping he'll respond to Rin's foreign friend.

Sousuke, unfortunately looks just as lost, but he does scrunch up his face with a train of thought that takes a lot of effort, before he finally says, "Lucas, do you … Mmm … Do you — speak uh at all Japanese?"

Haru snickers toward his lap. Sousuke whips a glare at him.

"Ah," Lucas exclaims, expression brightening in the rearview mirror. Haru wishes he wouldn't glance up so much to look at their reflections instead of the road. "That's right, I forgot. You're not supah fluent in English. Sorry 'bout that. Yea, I do speak a little Japanese. Been practicin' to surprise Rin. Let's see, how's it like … Oh yea, a greeting is the local deity who turns up providentially."

Haru and Sousuke exchange glances again. This time it lingers for a moment, before Haru mumbles, "Why does he keep reciting proverbs?"

Sousuke's eyes shift as he shrugs. "I don't know," he whispers back. "He's been doing that since he picked me up."

"Do you understand anything else he said?"

"No. Do you?"

Haru shakes his head, then gives Sousuke a vague look of disgust. "Aren't you supposed to be Rin's 'best friend'? Has he not been teaching you? Or better yet, wouldn't you have picked up the language by now in an obsessive desperation to intimidate his other friends?"

Sousuke's expression isn't all that animated, but the hatred in his eyes is livid. "And I suppose you can't be bothered to do anything that's not sniffing the bottom of a pool."

Haru turns his eyes away. Sousuke tches him.

"Hey, hey, now. I didn't really catch that, but I know a bad attitude when I smell one. I promised Rin I'd getchu to 'im in one piece, so don't go bitin' each othah's heads off back theah."

"He's useless," Haru huffs under his breath.

"At least he's getting us where we need to go."

The car pitches to the right, and Haru has to hold the door handle to keep from flying across the backseats.

Sousuke grimaces, and presses the heel of his palm to his head where it was thrown against the window. "And quickly."

"I'm going to throw up."

"Stop complaining."

"No."

This time Sousuke just sighs and chooses not to respond.

"Have you blokes been on any of the helitours 'round heah? Dunno how you feel about flyin, but it's quite the way to see the city all at once. Haven't been myself, but I told my girlfriend I'd get her in one for our next anniversary. She's nevah been in a heli before. Neithah have I, I guess. Should be fun. They've got heaps of spots 'round heah, you can go up. Smart business innit? Heaps of tourists around …"

He keeps talking, doesn't even seem to care that neither of his passengers are responding, nor even pretending as though they're listening. Sousuke glances at him every now and then, but Haru's fairly certain he's just watching his lips move. Occasionally, Lucas drops another out-of-context proverb in poor Japanese that Haru is also fairly certain has nothing to do with what he's talking about, and he's a little bit tempted to ask who's teaching him these things and why he thinks they mean something different.

Instead, he calls Makoto, because he's uncomfortable, and he really, really wishes that he'd turned around and gotten back on the plane home. Especially because he can see the glitter of the city lights on the water past the bridge, but he very well can't leap out of the recklessly speeding car, into the dark canal below. Though probably Sousuke wouldn't try to stop him.

"He's glaring at me right now. I can feel it on my neck. It's like being watched by a starving bear on a cocaine high."

"That's probably because he can hear you insulting him, Haru."

"I know. That's on purpose. He smells like resentment and baby aspirin."

"Are you going to do this the whole car ride?" Sousuke's voice says.

Haru hunches his shoulders away, turning his nose closer to the window. He still makes sure to talk loud enough for Yamazaki to hear him though. "Makoto, forget your exam. Come save me. I feel threatened."

"Haru-chan, please," Makoto whines, and Haru can hear the exasperation in his voice. It honestly doesn't sound that different from Rin. "If you at least try to have a normal, non-hostile conversation with him, I am sure you'll realize spending that much of your energy trying to hate him is a waste of time."

"Oh, I'm not trying. I actually hate him." (Sousuke scoffs. Haru can hear him rolling his eyes too.) "Also, I don't think he speaks non-hostile."

"Haru, I've never had a problem with him."

"That's because you're you. You never have a problem with anyone."

"Okay, well, why don't you give him the phone then. Do you want me to talk to him for you?"

"No. You're too innocent for that. He'll make you cry."

"I can't believe this man is friends with you," Sousuke says rather loudly. (And even still Lucas has not stopped rambling.) Haru stuffs a finger in his ear. "You are a petulant child, and I feel bad for Tachibana that he has to put up with you on a daily basis. You need to set him free. You're weighing him down."

"He's like a malnourished zoo animal that's been pacing around in a cage all day, waiting for someone to throw a steak at him," Haru says, overlapping Sousuke's rant. "I kind of feel bad," he adds dryly. "No one wants to feed him, because he's so grumpy and he scares away all the kids."

"If I was Tachibana, I would have dropped you down a well … twenty fucking years ago."

"Okay. Well, you know what, if it's going to hurt you to be nice to him, then just stay quiet, okay? There's no need to hurt his feelings just because you're intimidated by him."

Haru's eyes squint. "I'm not intimidated by him. Also, I don't think water buffalos have feelings."

"Give me this."

"Stop!"

They're back at it — tug-of-war over Haru's phone. And somehow Haru ends up twisted around in his seat with one foot planted against Sousuke's ribs, while Sousuke traps his arm in a vice grip and presses an elbow to his face at the same time, because his wing-span is not of legal size. Also, they're still being shifted and jostled by the wildly swerving car, while their seatbelts try to choke them back.

"Makoto! He's assaulting me!"

"You're a spoiled fucking brat! Give it!"

"You're — hurting — me," Haru growls through his teeth, even though he's the one stomping repeatedly on Sousuke's side. Though, it doesn't appear to faze Sousuke at all, and that just makes Haru's blood boil hotter.

"Hey, hey, alright! Enough back theah! Don't make me pull ovah. Crikey, I can't believe he was actually serious about you trying to kill each othah."

"Give me the phone, Nanase!"

"It's mine! You can't just snatch my stuff out of my hand!"

But he does, because he's bigger than Haru, and probably built out of iron. He wrings the cellphone free of Haru's grip, and then the car is filled with whirling hot air as he rolls down the window and chucks the phone out into the night. Haru, with his foot still attached to Sousuke's side, drops his jaw as he watches it disappear within hardly a second, probably to get run over by the next car behind them. Then Sousuke rolls the window back up and shifts him the haughtiest look of I-dare-you-to-say-something. So instead of actually saying something, Haru just starts flailing his fists at him, and Sousuke is not at all hesitant about putting him in a headlock.

"Hey! HEY! I said enough, stop!"