A/N: Inspired one shot by, of course, FATWS. I just couldn't help it.
The OC is meant to look like the actress Riley Voelkel!
P.S I have a tumblr account dedicated to my fanfic works! It's also a place where anyone can comment about a story or even just talk to me! I often drop aesthetic work belonging to my stories too! Feel free to check it out, my URL is "saiilorstars"
It actually frightened Bucky how good she was. He had the training of all training and somehow, she managed to frighten him with how good she was. Chloe Winters was always making him feel things he shouldn't.
He actively avoided everybody these days, not because he didn't want to see them but because he didn't know what to do with them if they were around. He was in the worst phase of his life, as bad as it sounded, because for once in his life there was no more fighting. He was done with it and now all he had to focus on was...himself. As it turned out, that wasn't at all something he liked. Even worse, because he had yet to figure out how to go about it, he was pushing others away.
Like Chloe.
There she was, sitting on the other end of the counter with a drink in her hand as she talked with some plain guy (Bucky thought the guy looked horribly plain, anyways). He could believe that she was at the same restaurant by pure coincidence...if he didn't know how she was. And he liked to think that he knew her plenty.
Which is why he thought that guy she was with was exceptionally distasteful.
"Don't scowl, your face will stay like that."
Bucky blinked and looked at the elder man sitting beside him: the one "friend" he technically had at the moment.
Yori had an odd smirk on his face that Bucky didn't often see. "What?" he asked the elder man.
"You're scowling. You don't smile so much but right now your face is in grave danger of getting stuck with that scowl," Yori waved his finger in front of Bucky's face. "What are you staring at?"
Bucky dove his attention to his half eaten food on his plate but in the end his yearning (or perhaps jealousy) betrayed him. His eyes flickered to Chloe again. She was laughing with that guy.
"Aah," he heard Yori hum. "It's about time you know."
"What?"
"I was about to ask Leah if she wanted to go on a date with you-"
"What!?" Bucky nearly choked on his food.
"But you haven't stopped staring at that girl over there." By some miracle, Yori did him the favor of not pointing at Chloe. "She's pretty."
Bucky preferred to ignore the man for the moment. He made a motion for the waitress to see. "Can I get another beer?" As if that was going to have any effect on him.
"You're still scowling," Yori said.
Bucky scowled even deeper. "Am not."
"Are too. All you have to do is go over there and introduce yourself. She'll like you more."
"Yeah, I'm not doing that. We're having lunch and that's—" Bucky stopped, freezing altogether when he saw Chloe was no longer where she'd been. How the hell? He looked around as discreetly as possible but the restaurant was too crowded to spot her...if she even remained inside. Bucky glanced towards the entrance, the walls on either side were blurred with the heavy rain. What if she was gone?
"Your face is going to stay like that," Yori warned again. Bucky snapped out of his thoughts.
At this point, Bucky didn't think there was an actual chance of him not scowling. He accepted the beer from the waitress and didn't hesitate to take the biggest swig of his life.
"Can I get another strawberry pink lemonade, please?" Someone placed an empty glass between Bucky and Yori for the waitress to pick up.
Bucky actually flinched.
Chloe had a cheery smile on her face. She watched the waitress take her glass. "It's not polite to stare," she said suddenly. Her head turned in Bucky's way. "Or scowl, for that matter."
"He does that a lot," Yori said in-between chews.
"Yori," Bucky said. Chloe laughed and unknowingly brought a fuzzy feeling to Bucky's stomach.
"He is sort of a scowler," she agreed with elder man. "You know he used to smolder back in the day."
Yori paused with his lunch to look back at Chloe then Bucky several times. "You two know each other?"
Bucky gave a silent nod of his head. Chloe did the same but with an unmistakable whimsical glint in her eyes.
"I'm Chloe," she introduced herself. "And like it or not—" she threw a more sharpened look at Bucky, "—he knows me." A jab she wanted to take even when every part of her told her it was childish. Well, she might still be a child at heart and he deserved it.
"Here you go," the waitress returned with Chloe's drink.
Chloe was back to smiling like nothing. She thanked the waitress and grabbed her drink. "I'll be sitting over there," she told Bucky, "Make of that whatever you want."
He leveled her look with a wry smile. "Really?"
"He will be there," Yori said suddenly.
Bucky's eyes widened. "Wait—"
"He can be there right now, actually," Yori went on like Bucky wasn't currently begging (silently) for him to stop talking. "You want to have lunch with him?"
Chloe giggled. "No, no, you guys should finish your lunches. I'm a patient girl."
"Dinner, then?"
"Yori," Bucky said again. He was paying for all the times he pushed Steve towards pretty girls. This had to be payback.
Chloe looked between the pair, unable to decide who was the funniest. "We can discuss something later. Please, finish your lunches in peace." She cast an innocent glance at Bucky as she took a sip of her drink. "See yah!" She wiggled her fingers and took off.
"You cannot do that," Bucky was quick to tell Yori when it was just them again. "Why would you do that?"
"Because you were scowling again," Yori shrugged casually. "You already know the girl. It's even easier."
"You can't…you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943…" Bucky had grabbed his beer for another long drink when his words registered in his head. Despite nearly choking, he croaked: "It feels like."
Yes, he did have history with Chloe and even though it wasn't all bad—those moments with her were the few precious memories he fought to keep right on the surface of his mind—he couldn't afford to mess things up even more than he already have.
And yet...
He found himself approaching Chloe after finishing lunch with Yori and the restaurant was less crowded. By that time, Chloe was alone. The guy she'd been talking to was long gone, with any luck. Chloe played with the straw in her drink.
"Took you long enough," she said before he even took a seat beside her. She raised her head, showing off a pretty smile. "For a while, I thought you'd sneak off."
For a moment, Bucky panicked thinking she'd read his mind...even though she technically couldn't. "I...was waiting for your friend to leave."
Chloe hummed. "Carlos is a co-worker."
Bucky actually hated how elated that one sentence made him. The good news is that he was a master of the straight faces. "Oh," he said simply.
Chloe patted the empty stool beside her. "I'm not here to reproach," she said as if she was once again reading his thoughts.
Bucky sat down and watched her call the waitress again for another drink. "Cute drink," he said once the glass was out of Chloe's hand.
She playfully rolled her eyes. "I'm working tomorrow and some of us can, unfortunately, get drunk."
"Is that why your friend was here, then?"
Chloe nodded. "He was explaining the situation."
"Interesting choice of venue..." Bucky remarked ever-so-casually. "I don't know much of S.W.O.R.D. but if they're anything like S.H.I.E.L.D. was, I doubt this crowded place was the right spot for secret missions."
Chloe lifted an eyebrow at him with an innocent shrug of her shoulders. "I've only been working with for a couple years. I don't exactly choose the spots."
Bucky tilted his head at her. She did the same. She could be an excellent mirror when she wanted.
"How did you find me?" Bucky finally asked her. Chloe tapped her left temple with a finger. Bucky nodded. "Of course."
"According to the Hivemind, there was a 99.9% chance of finding you in this location." Chloe thanked the waitress for her new drink. She side-glanced Bucky as she took her first sip.
"That Hivemind needs to mind its business," he told her, for the first time speaking with a light humor in his tone. He knew well enough that Chloe's abilities didn't always work under her control. The Hivemind she was connected to often gave her information she did not ask for. Though he wondered if this precise information had been requested. Did she really come to see him?
Chloe hummed. "Wouldn't that be nice? Of course that would have made my life a little more difficult in the past. Can't be the best hider if I don't know where the seeker is."
Bucky said nothing and gave a mere small nod. For years she'd been on the run from Hydra and was one of the who remained free of them in the end.
"You haven't answered my calls, Bucky," Chloe whispered. All the coolness she'd exhibited so far washed away. Bucky swallowed hard when she met his look and revealed a pair of eyes filled with pain. "You don't text back. You just...don't. Logically speaking, I should take that to mean you don't want to hear from me. If that's the case, I would rather you tell me in person, looking me in the eye."
"Chloe..." Bucky sighed, looking away as if to already defy her request.
"I won't say anything but I just need to hear it in person," she insisted. "After everything, I deserve that. And you deserve to have one less bother."
"You are not a bother," Bucky quickly clarified. She raised an eyebrow, silently asking him what the hell she was then because to qualify as a friend, he would actually have to talk to her. He sighed again. "Everything is just...so hard, okay? I can't get myself together."
"Of course you can't, you've only been here for what? Six months? After 90 years of hell, I expect the recuperation to be a long process." Chloe pushed her drink away from her and leaned towards him. "You and I were screwed over by Hydra. You were a hunter and I was a runner. I ran because I needed to, because I didn't want Hydra to catch me, and you hunted because you had to. You didn't have a choice. All that takes time to process and deal with, I get that, but what I can't figure out is why you won't let me be in your life again? I thought that in Wakanda we'd built something. Friendship, at least."
She was sparing them the almost encounters they had in those 2 years after the Accords. She was on the run again, this time with Steve and the others, but she always came to visit Bucky in Wakanda. It always surprised him to see her back, to see her wanting to spend time with him. He wasn't that stable to have any type of friendship and yet she kept coming back.
Bucky had met a couple women in Wakanda before Chloe, and they'd all been incredibly kind and mindful of his condition...but there was always something about Chloe. Chloe. It wasn't long before he found himself thinking about Chloe more than a friend, more than an aid. She came to help him, to spend time with him and discover parts of Wakanda and in the meantime he found himself falling in love with her.
The stupidest thing he could've done because there was no way they could ever happen.
And yet on a few occasions, they seemed to touch each other more often, longer than they needed to. The way they smiled at each other, their lingering looks...it was too much and sometimes, things happened. Chloe kissed him first. She apologized profusely to him immediately, going as far as saying she wouldn't come back to Wakanda if he didn't want to see her anymore.
The mere thought of never seeing her again scared Bucky like nothing ever had, and that was saying something. He had to kiss her back. She needed to know that she wasn't the only one thinking about things that shouldn't be.
Moments like those seemed to happen more often afterwards.
But they never had time to make anything official.
Then the blip happened.
And the rest was history.
"Bucky, please say something," Chloe said whilst trying to hide the desperation in her voice. "I'm trying really hard to be optimistic but if I'm just reaching, I'll stop and go. I don't want to get in the way of your recuperation. Should I...should I just go?"
And if you are alone, that is the quietest, most personal hell.
The damn shrink had a point and he knew it but it never stung so much before it dealt with Chloe. "...no." The single word had come out of Bucky in a frail whisper.
Chloe paused for a second, her head turning slightly as if waiting for him to take it back. Then, slowly, she straightened up on her stool. "I liked your friend," she said, catching him off guard with the quick change in subject. She pulled her drink back and took a quick sip. "He was cute."
Bucky raised an eyebrow at her. "Should I give him your number?" She laughed and within seconds, he did the same. Just like that, part of the ice between them melted.
"Do you want another drink?" Chloe asked, "Something cute?"
"Would it really make a difference, Chlo?"
Chloe struggled not to show the effect his nickname for her still had on her. She took another drink of her lemonade, a bigger one but she ignored the brain freeze. "Guess not," she mumbled.
Bucky let another moment in silence pass by before he was brave enough to ask her: "Why are you here, Chloe? Really?"
"You don't believe that I'd come to Brooklyn just to see you?" Chloe knew better than to ask. He always tried to be subtle about asking her why she kept coming back to Wakanda. Surely there had to be a better reason than to just see him. Her heart ached a little each time it happened. Bucky was so used to being, well, used that he couldn't straightaway believe somebody would want to visit him just to see him.
"I mean..." Bucky cleared his throat, eyes flickering away from her out of embarrassment, "You're working, aren't you? You've been very busy."
"I'm never busy for you," Chloe said with so much ease that it startled him. Her head turned slightly at him. "I was worried. You weren't answering me at all. Sam says you haven't talked in a long time now."
"I told you, all this...it's hard. I can't afford to be around you guys..."
"But you can afford to be around these people?" Chloe made a good counter-argument. "As sweet as that old man seems to be, he doesn't know you and it can't be easy sustaining a relationship with people you can't be completely honest with. I would know. Ever since I was 17, I've had to hide a big part of myself from people. You, Sam, Steve...you guys are the only ones who really know me. Do you want us to be around?"
"Yes," Bucky answered straightaway, "I mean, eventually...it's just hard." He was a broken record and he knew it. It frustrated him that he couldn't explain himself better. It was why he chose to stay away from people who knew him. It upset himself that he couldn't give them the proper explanations about why he was more reclusive, why he did the things he did. He preferred to spare them the trouble.
"You are not trouble to me," Chloe said quietly.
Bucky looked at her incredulously. "I thought you said you can't read minds."
"There was a 70% chance that you were putting yourself down," she explained with a light shrug of her shoulders, "I connected the rest of the 30% myself."
"That little Hivemind..." He pointed at her, earning a small smile from her.
"See, I'm trouble." Her eyes flashed a bright blue for show.
Bucky laughed shortly. Seconds later, he would realize it was the first honest laugh he had in a very long time. "I would like to say 'no you're not' but I think we both know that you are."
"Hey now," Chloe giggled. "I try to be on my best behavior every now and then."
"Oh, please. If there was ever anyone who embodied mischief, it's Chloe Winters."
"Hey!" Chloe playfully shoved his arm.
Bucky smirked at her. "Am I wrong?"
"You're a jerk!" She huffed. She took a dejected sip of her drink, though a big part of her was in a frenzy. She truly did miss being around Bucky. No matter how dark things were for them, it all seemed to fade when she was around him. They played off each other so easily, neither one had to try too hard. At least that's the way it felt for her. She could only hope that Bucky felt the same.
"I'm sorry," Bucky ended up saying, much like every other time when they bantered. He didn't like the idea of her being upset with him for any reason, even if it was all good-natured fun. He wanted to see her smiling at all times if it was possible.
Chloe rolled her eyes at him. "Sure.."
"C'mon, Chlo..." He reached over for her arm on the counter but when she moved it, he ended up taking her hand instead. He initially froze until the alarms started going off in his head screaming at him to pull back.
Chloe turned her hand underneath his around to hold it. Her fingers slipped between his gloved ones. "Don't pull away, please," she whispered.
Bucky swallowed hard and tried to focus on breathing, just breathing. He had trouble breathing for nightmares and memories but he hadn't had a moment like this since...Chloe. The last time they saw each other, she'd held his hand as well and unknowingly made it completely difficult for him to breathe normally. Even though this time he wore gloves, he could still feel her warmth pushing through the material to touch his skin. That wasn't one of her abilities; it was just her. He wanted nothing more than to touch her for real and feel her fingers against his skin. She always did that to him and she didn't even know it.
"I'm sorry," he felt the monumental urge to say, and perhaps repeat for days to come.
Chloe looked at him from the corner of her eye. She was pretty sure he didn't want her to see him like that. "I'm not here for apologies," she reminded. "Being honest, I was so worried that if I didn't find you, you would ultimately cut ties with me. Forget about me, even."
"I don't think I could do that even if I tried," Bucky stared down at their interlocked hands. Such a simple act was already bringing a rush of memories from Wakanda.
"Sometimes it feels that way," Chloe admitted. "What do you do when I try to call? When Sam tries to call?"
"Chloe..."
"Hey," the waitress stopped by their seats, "Sorry, James, we gotta close up."
Chloe took note that the woman was just being friendly and doing her job so she decided to direct all her irritation towards Bucky afterwards. "You're on a first name basis with strangers instead of caring for the relationships you already have!" She yanked her hand out from under his.
"It's not like that!" Bucky tried to say but she was already leaving money on the counter for her drinks.
"Isn't it?" she demanded. "Your phone's probably full of my unopened texts and unanswered calls. At this point, it's more mine than it is yours!"
Okay, maybe she had that point.
"C'mon, Chloe..."
"You know a lot of people consider me a bother but it would kill me if that's what you thought of me too."
"I already told you that you're not!"
Chloe shook her head and stood up from her stool. She slung her purse over her shoulder. "But you would rather not talk to me yet."
"Again, not like that! Chloe, please?"
Chloe rolled her eyes. Don't get upset, don't show you're upset. Because showing she was upset would probably only make Bucky feel worse. She would swallow her feelings down if it meant helping him get better. For that, it was better if she got going. She had very little self control when she was around Bucky and it was only amplified when he gave her that puppy-eyed look he was giving her right now.
"I should just go, Bucky," Chloe said and took off before he could say something persuasive.
Bucky was quick to follow her. "Chloe! C'mon, it's raining!"
Chloe saw the rain pouring down the windows as she neared the front door. Yeah, maybe it was raining a little too hard, but so be it. "I've noticed but I'm a big girl, I can handle some rain. I'll just call a taxi."
"You're in New York! Even I know it's impossible to get a taxi around here, especially when it's raining!"
Chloe pulled the door open. As soon as she did, she was slapped in the face by the cold air. She peered outside and saw the sky was dark and gloomy. Dammit. "I can walk," she said, plain and simple.
Bucky rolled his eyes. She was as stubborn as ever. "Do you even have an umbrella?"
Chloe's eyebrows raised. No, she did not. "I can walk," she insisted.
"Where!?" Bucky made a gesture at the streets. "It's pouring out there!"
"And yet, we can't stay here. It's fine," Chloe shrugged. "My hotel's, like..." She peered again to get another glimpse of the streets. Her eyes flashed blue as the exact information flowed through her lips. "Ten blocks from here."
Bucky's expression fell flat. "Chloe!"
She groaned. "I'm going!" She announced and walked onto the sidewalk. She regretted it as soon as the cold pellets of water hit her head and shoulders. It was freezing!
"Chloe!" Bucky went after her. The cold wasn't as bad for him. It was almost nothing, honestly, compared to the cold he'd seen in his days.
"I'm already walking!" Chloe flapped an arm to show her good pace. She was quick to bring her arm back to wrap around herself.
"Yeah, I see that, and you're not going to make it 10 blocks on foot!"
"Is that a challenge, Barnes?"
"Noo!" Bucky said fast. He learned early on never to challenge her because even if it was plainly clear that he would win (whether it was due from a physical advantage or he was just better at it), Chloe wouldn't back down. She was very competitive and while it was funny (and perhaps endearing), sometimes she could actually hurt herself. Right now, she may not be in danger except of getting a cold, but he still wasn't taking the chance. "Chloe, compromise time, please." He grabbed her arm to stop her. "Come back to my place and when the rain lightens up or stops altogether, you can go home."
Chloe shifted and not just for the heavy rain falling on her. "You want me to come to your place?"
Bucky knew exactly what he was asking and he stood by it. He already didn't sleep well and knowing that Chloe was on her own in the streets of New York under rain would make it even more impossible to sleep. He had to know that she was safe. "I'm 3 blocks away," he gestured to the street ahead of them. "You're going to get a cold out here."
"I may be cold but that does not mean that I'm going to get sick!"
"Chloe!"
"Fine!" She huffed. "Lead the way I guess."
"I guess?"
She shrugged.
Bucky hid his smile as he started the way. Bickering with her was always fun, especially when she made that face. Bucky looked over his shoulder and smiled to himself again. Chloe was right behind him, her face scrunched into what almost seemed like a pout. That was the face alright.
~ 0 ~
Chloe was shivering by the time they reached the apartment. She'd long ago forgot about putting up a front. Everything went out the damn window when her bones were actually hurting from how cold she was.
"I'm sorry, I don't have extra clothes..." Bucky hadn't really thought his plan through until they were already in the apartment.
"Sh-sh-shirt!" Chloe managed to say. "A-a-and a b-blanket!"
"Yeah," Bucky quickly agreed. He left her standing by the doorway in his haste to find her some warmer clothes.
Chloe let herself wander a few more steps inside. She didn't think Bucky would want any of the neighbors to see her. Plus, it was just damn warmer. She let her bag's strap fell to the floor. It didn't take long to notice how under-furnished the apartment was as a whole. Last time she'd been around, Bucky had just been putting it together...or at least that's what he had told her.
"You're a goddamn liar," she muttered under her breath. He would tell her anything to make her believe he was completely fine transitioning from the calm and peaceful life he had in Wakanda to the busy and noise lifestyle of Brooklyn.
"Hey," she soon heard Bucky call. He was making his way back to her and right away Chloe saw a gray shirt in his hands. "Obviously I don't have anything that'll fit your..." Interestingly enough, the words to describe her figure were lost on him. It wasn't like he'd spent a good part of his time admiring her.
"I-it's f-fi-fine," Chloe promised as she took the shirt from him. She absolutely hated the fact she couldn't talk without shuddering. Here he was acting pretty much normal for himself, making her appear more like a damn fool rather than a helpful friend.
"I left a blanket in the bedroom," Bucky told her.
"Y-you ha-ave those?" She lifted an eyebrow at him as of she were genuinely puzzled.
It took Bucky a short second to realize she was referring to the lack of furniture in the apartment. He rolled his eyes. "You're freezing to death and you still find time to be sarcastic?"
Her smirk was lopsided. "I-I can m-m-multi-task."
Bucky's own lips curved into what seemed like the makings of a laugh. "Chloe Rose, go."
Chloe thanked the heavens her body was too cold to be able to blush. Something about the way he said her middle name always gave her a tingle down her back. It was casual yet a sort of intimacy at the same time. Very few people knew her full name and even then, nobody seemed to say it with the same fondness that Bucky had.
"Oh, and hey Chloe?" Bucky called when she was down the halfway. "There's washing machines downstairs if you, um, want me to do that for you?"
"Wh-what?" Chloe's eyebrows knitted together. "N-No! You're n-n-not d-doing my-my laundry! I-I will!"
Bucky had expected that kind of answer so he took extra pleasure with his response. "Well if you want to go downstairs to do laundry wearing just a man's t-shirt, by all means...go ahead."
Chloe detested the smug grin on his face. "I-I-I f-fucking hate y-you."
"Soo...do you want me to do it then?"
Chloe turned away to keep heading for the room but she stopped right outside the door. "Hey, d-do y-you a-a-actually know h-how to-to use the machines?"
Bucky had also been expecting a jab like that. He was only unsure of when she would deliver it. "I'm not an entire idiot."
"Sure." Chloe pulled the bedroom door open and slammed it shut on her way in.
Bucky stayed right where he was, struggling to keep his laugh quiet and away from her. There were no dark moments when Chloe was around, she proved it every single time she was with him.
~0~
When Chloe returned, she was wrapped in a thick blanket. The t-shirt that Bucky could only do so much covering down to her knees. Her hair was no longer sticking to her face but was in need of a good brush.
Bucky was coming out of the kitchen with a mug in his hand. He'd dried up and changed as well, no doubt having already did the laundry for her. "You're cold so...coffee?" He awkwardly held the mug to her.
Chloe would've laughed at how out of place he looked at that moment if things weren't so complicated. Instead, she walked over to take the mug. "Thanks." She moved past him for the lone sofa chair he had. "How's the laundry?" she asked after making herself comfortable. She'd pulled both her legs up to the chair and wrapped her blanket over, leaving a small gap in the middle to move her arms. "Did you figure out the machines?"
Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yes. It'll be done soon but...I don't think the rain's stopping anytime soon."
"Seriously?" Chloe sighed, glancing at the window on the far end of the room. She could hear the rumbles of the thunder.
"This is yours..." Bucky was coming to hand her purse she'd left behind earlier. "Your phone's been buzzing..."
"Of course." Chloe mumbled a 'thanks' as she grabbed her bag from him. She opened it up with one hand and pulled her phone out. Sure enough, she had a bunch of missed calls from her co-worker.
"Sounds like you're a busy girl," Bucky remarked. On the one hand, it made him happy to see Chloe had rebuilt her life after Hydra and the mess of the blip but on the other hand, it scared him that one day all her business would make it easier for her to forget him altogether. It wasn't a particular fair thought considering his poor efforts to be in contact with her.
Chloe hummed, her eyebrows raising as she went through the unread texts on her phone. "Sometimes, I wish I had the super endurance you people have. Would make everything a little easier."
"You don't need it. You never did."
"Maybe now I do..." Something flickered across Chloe's face after reading one text. The crease of worry marked her forehead.
Bucky long ago learned to recognize it. "Is the mission big?"
"I don't know," Chloe looked up to meet his gaze, "I was just getting preliminary details from Carlos at the restaurant and suddenly now we have concrete facts."
"How bad is it?"
Chloe's shoulders half-shrugged. "Dunno. Something about New Jersey and Wanda? I don't know but I have to be there by tomorrow night."
"You need to leave right now?"
"Not in this rain—nothing takes off in this weather. I'll just get back to my hotel no matter what."
"Chlo, you can't. It's pouring and it's getting late. I can't let you go like that! It's New York!"
"But—"
Bucky raised his hands in front of him. "I know I haven't been the best to you but let me try to mend some of that by keeping you safe for tonight."
Chloe smiled softly at him. "You don't have to do that. I don't expect that from you, from anyone actually. I can take care of myself."
"I have no doubt but it's raining, Chloe. Please? Stay here and first thing in the morning I will personally walk you to your hotel."
"Again, you don't really have to—"
"Chloe!" Bucky relaxed when she smirked.
"Sometimes it's fun poking at you, but okay, I'll stay. Thanks."
Bucky nodded. "I know I don't have much but I do have a bed in the room so you can stay there."
"Yeah, I saw it..." Chloe also saw that it was perfectly made, almost like it hadn't even been touched at all. She wondered how long it'd been since he slept there. "Sure you don't want to take it? I'm not a stranger to sleeping on the floor, or couch for that matter."
Bucky shook his head. "Use it. I'll stay out here." Chloe lifted an eyebrow at him. She said nothing for a couple minutes but her stare was more than Bucky could handle from her. "What?" he eventually asked.
"You know I used to stay with Steve with sometimes back before S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. I used to think he was such a gentleman letting me sleep in his bedroom while he took the couch...until I realized that he didn't really want to sleep in his bed." Chloe watched Bucky shift on his feet. It was uncanny how the story repeated itself in different versions. "I asked him why that was. I mean, again, I've pretty much slept everywhere while I was on the run, and he confided me years later that the bed was too...soft. There were things that I couldn't understand but overall I got the gist that simple things like that weren't...as simple as I thought. They came with more meanings that, if you haven't seen certain things, you wouldn't really get it. I'm sorry that I don't get it but I'm here if you need something from me."
Bucky swallowed hard with her heartening expression. He could crawl into a hole at that moment and yet he wouldn't be able to do it knowing that it would take away that same heartened expression from her. "Chloe, I...I know you want to help and I'm thankful for it, I really am, but I'm just not sure what I need yet..."
Chloe nodded. She raised her free hand up to him and motioned him to take it. Bucky hesitated but the more Chloe pleaded with those eyes of hers, the closer he found himself to her until his flesh hand finally reached hers. The coffee and the blanket were definitely helping because she was much warmer than she'd been earlier.
"Whenever you figure out what I can do for you, give me a call," she said. "Give me a call, a text, even if it's small, okay?"
"Yeah," Bucky whispered. "It's...it's kind of hard to admit it's strange that people—mostly you—want me to talk to you that badly." His eyes were glued to her hand and he was acutely aware that despite holding her hand with his flesh hand, he was hesitant to squeeze or grip it.
Chloe's wry look went right over him. "Don't get all cocky with me," she warned.
"Asking me not to breathe, doll," he said automatically. Chloe smiled at the entire exchange. They'd started it in Wakanda and it would apparently continue even when they weren't exactly in the same places as they'd been before.
She squeezed his hand as much as she could. All plays and jokes aside, she met his eyes. "I've already lived in a world where you didn't exist. It was terrible. I don't want to repeat that again."
Bucky nodded silently. Her words carried a heavy weight that, as terrible as it sounded, he hadn't yet thought about. He was the first to disappear during the blip and that was that. Next thing he knew, he was back in Wakanda wondering where the hell everyone had gone. He fought some aliens and now he was in New York again.
For Chloe, the blip had happened and she was forced to live through the 5 years of disaster that followed because half the population had disappeared. She didn't get to magically go from one spot to the next. She had to come back to New York, figure out what the hell to do and then try to do it. Nothing was fixed because the blip was reversed, she still had to figure out how to live with the fact everyone was back now and at different places than where they used to be.
They were the prime example.
They used to be on a whole other level with each other before the blip. She would come by to Wakanda to see how he was doing and then spend days with him doing, admittedly, stupid casual stuff with him. They had fun with each other then; they had been finding their rhythm and sync and he liked it so much.
Now here they were, acting almost like strangers. It hurt her and it sure as hell hurt him too. He couldn't live like that. Whatever happened, he wouldn't be able to live like that.
"Hey Chlo, why don't you go rest?" He held his hand out for her to take. "Busy girl needs her sleep, right?"
Chloe playfully rolled her eyes at him. "I suppose I should for the mission but, really, what the hell could New Jersey have in store for me?" She chuckled and took Bucky's hand, allowing him to pull her up from her seat. "You'll be okay here, then?"
"Yeah." Bucky took her coffee mug from her and gestured the hallway for her. "I'll get your clothes for you later and leave them at the door."
Chloe agreed and headed for his room. She would find that the bed was truly neat and tidy, too much to have been used at least in the past weeks. She sighed to herself. She wasn't even going to pretend like it was shocking. All it did was break her heart. Instead, she made herself comfortable under the sheets and rested her head on the fluffy pillow. Her last thought before she dozed off was a lament that nothing around her smelled like Bucky.
~ 0 ~
When the scream echoed into the room, Chloe didn't initially realize that it wasn't her. She thrashed in the blankets over her trying to calm herself down until it clicked that she was already calm. She'd just been startled.
Two seconds flat is what it took her to jump out of bed and run out of the room. She sprinted to a stop in the living room, eyes wide and scanning the area for an immediate threat. The television was lit but on mute (she had to wonder if keeping it on mute had been for her sake this night) and across was Bucky, wide awake.
He had a nightmare, Chloe concluded. He was breathing far too heavily and even though it was dark, she was sure that he was sweating. She'd seen it all before. To Bucky's dismay, this wasn't the first time he woke her up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. Some nights in Wakanda had seen the same thing.
"Bucky?" Chloe approached him cautiously.
"Go back to sleep," he didn't hesitate to say. He forgot who he was dealing with.
"You know I can't." She took a few more steps forwards and stopped a couple inches from his side. She bent down in her spot, trying to be the utmost careful with him. "Please, can I stay with you for a couple minutes?"
He was staring at the ground. He couldn't face her. "Go back to sleep," he insisted, though this time he put an effort not to make it sound like an order.
"I can't sleep," she said simply. "I won't talk if you don't want me to. I know I have a big mouth but I'll keep it shut, I promise."
To her delight, and frankly to Bucky's surprise, a small laugh slipped through his lips. He blinked at himself for it and shifted away from Chloe. He was more self conscious than ever.
Chloe knew that too and she wondered if he'd forgotten that this wasn't new to her either. His lack of clothes wasn't effecting her. The only new thing would be the now clear sight of the vibranium arm of his but truthfully all Chloe cared for was helping ease his nerves.
"We can use my powers," Chloe offered to him. "You know that I wouldn't be able to see your nightmares and I wouldn't get any details unless you open that door for me."
Bucky shook his head silently.
She sighed. "Bucky, let me help you. We can try for one minute and if you don't like it, I will go to my room—your room—and not come out until morning. I swear."
"Chlo, you don't have to do anything for me." Bucky finally looked back at her. "You shouldn't have to."
"Why not?" she challenged him to come up with a good answer. "Why shouldn't I want to help somebody I care for? Wouldn't you do the same for me?"
"That's not fair..."
"But it's an honest question. One minute, please?"
Bucky would end up agreeing for his own sake at some peace. Chloe's abilities were strange in that they allowed her to help people with internal issues. Chloe peacefulness they had dubbed it. She'd done it many times for him and for others in the past.
Chloe moved in front of him and sat on her knees. She held her hands out to him, palms facing up. "C'mon," she whispered.
"But my hand..." Bucky opened and closed his vibranium hand. All the times before had Chloe helping him with his flesh hand (his only hand at that time). "It's circuitry..."
"And? It's connected to you." Chloe smiled encouragingly and wiggled her fingers for both of his hands. He reluctantly agreed and slid his hands over hers.
Like always, he closed his eyes and tried to relax. It was probably the hardest part of the process but he always ended up doing it. He used to admit to himself that it was mostly because of Chloe but she wasn't going to hear that now. A light blue glow started from Chloe's hands and it slowly enveloped Bucky's. He could feel that relief flourish in his body. Everything he had seen in his nightmare began to wash away. The weight from his shoulders would lift for a moment and let him feel other things, the things he didn't have a luxury to with all the darkness he carried.
And since Chloe was right there, most of his feelings were directed towards her. They rushed up and suddenly, he felt a lump in his throat.
Chloe thought she was hearing things in the beginning. It was usually dead silent when she and Bucky did this. She cracked open an eye and was surprised to see Bucky's face was scrunched up. "Oh my...Bucky?" He pulled his hands out of hers so quickly that it startled her.
"I'm sorry." He wanted to turn away from her but she was just as quick.
"Hey!" She grabbed onto his wrists as best as she could. "It's me. You don't have to hide tears from me." He still didn't want to face her but she moved her hands up to his face to keep him from looking away. "Stupid question but did I make this happen?" she asked. "Because if I did, I am so sorry. Sometimes these powers get away from me and I do more harm than good."
"It's not your fault," Bucky mumbled. He sniffed. "There's...there's so much in my head that there's literally no room sometimes. Your powers—they make the room. Suddenly I'm getting to feel the things that I can't feel all the time." New tears pricked his eyes. "I don't know what to do with them."
Chloe nodded. "Okay! Okay!" She couldn't take it so she hugged him. Surprised and all, Bucky froze. Chloe's arms were wrapped around his neck, her body pressed against his bare chest and head resting beside his. "I'm here," she whispered to him. "I'm here." It was a silly thing to say considering if anybody could keep anybody safe it was him. She just needed him to know and understand that she would try to help him as much as she could and as much as he would let her.
Bucky slowly moved his flesh arm over her back. His other arm slipped under her hair to rest over the back of her neck. She was here and he didn't realize how much he truly needed her until right now. He missed having her that close to him. He missed smelling her sweet floral scent when they hugged. He loved her—he needed her.
"I'm sorry, Chloe," he said.
She pulled back a little, perhaps a mistake because they were a lot closer than she thought they would be. "For what? Dealing with stuff?"
"You're just so...kind, you know? From the very start." His hands touched her cheeks. He couldn't even begin to explain what he felt when Chloe smiled sheepishly at his touch. She didn't even flinch with the vibranium hand.
"Well, to be fair, you are kind of funny," she said. "I like funny guys."
Bucky laughed with her. He lowered his metal hand to his side. "I do try sometimes."
"Oh, I know you do. I've heard the stories." Chloe looked at him softly. "I'm always up to hear more. Any of your stories."
Bucky smiled at her. He tucked a curl behind her ear. "Maybe that would be nice. One story a week."
"Why only one?" she pouted.
"Because you're a busy girl."
"I'll make time, I promise."
"For me?"
Chloe deadpanned him. "Don't belittle yourself in front of me. I'd do anything for you."
There she went smiling again. Bucky couldn't ignore it this time. He closed the already tiny gap between them with a kiss.
Chloe was surprised but only because she hadn't expected him to initiate things this time. She was guilty of initiating many of their moments in Wakanda. Sometimes she wondered if his 40s origins would sooner or later think she was too forwards.
But he never thought that.
She was guilty of loving him too much and letting her feelings take charge. She rested her hand on Bucky's cheek and smiled with red cheeks that were hidden in the darkness of the room. Before any words were said, she kissed him again. Her hands lowered to his shoulders then came to wrap around his neck. Bucky pressed her body flush against his and for a moment allowed his feelings to take charge as well; a luxury he didn't have and whatever little moment he was granted, he would take advantage of.
And when he heard her laugh, muffled as it was before they parted, it was like his already heightened senses had been lit on fire.
Chloe was smiling both to herself and the situation. "I don't think that was the best of my decisions," she said sheepishly.
"I don't know, it seemed pretty good to me," Bucky said. It made Chloe laugh a little again. "They always are."
"Yeah, but those were different times, Bucky. It was Wakanda. Everything was more peaceful for you. The things we did and said might not have a standing today."
"I don't regret anything I said to you," Bucky said, wanting to leave that clear for her. "I struggle with everything right now, yes, but I still stand by everything I said to you."
"Everything?" Chloe finally looked him in the eyes.
Bucky nodded. "I love you, Chloe."
Chloe bit the inside of her cheek to hold back the stupid tears she felt pricking her eyes. "Am I...am I still your girl?"
A smile tugged at Bucky's lips. "If you want to be. I'm not exactly at my best..."
"You're trying," Chloe said, leaning her forehead against his. Bucky closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of her body and the touch of her hand on his shoulder. "And one day things might feel better for you. I'll be there if you want me to, and I want to. For now, can I stay with you for the rest of the night?"
Bucky's eyes snapped open. "What? No! No, go...you should go back to the room and rest. I can handle this, I promise."
"I trust that you can but I want to be with you," Chloe said. "Plus...don't laugh but I don't really like the rain when it's going hard."
"You don't like thunder storms?"
"I said don't laugh!"
"I'm not!" Bucky wasn't laughing at all but his smile seemed close to turning into one.
"Can I stay, please?"
Bucky ultimately nodded. He wouldn't deny that having her sleep right beside him would definitely help ease the nightmares. And, like she said, she was afraid of the storms so...they were helping each other out.
Chloe beamed (though Bucky didn't miss the brief relief that first marked her face) when he patted the spot beside him. She crawled to the spot and together they laid down. Bucky pulled the blanket over them but more on Chloe's side. She had scooted closer to him, her back to his chest. Little by little, Bucky moved his vibranium arm over her body. The idea was that if anything happened, he would be able to better protect her this way. And that's really what he wanted to do with his new life: be close to her and protect her. That's what his girl deserved.
Tomorrow she would wake up and leave to New Jersey for some mission but this time, when she left, Bucky promised himself and Chloe that he wouldn't let her go. She wouldn't disappear like he had made it before. They would talk more and see each other more. Because one day, they would be together again. For real this time. Until that day, he would try to make himself better for himself and her.