Author's note: Featuring (mostly)Canon!Rumbelle from post s6. Because rumpelstiltskinrocks really wanted to do the "Into the Spiderverse" thing, only with Rumples, so here it is... sort of... :-P

"No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston!" sang the six-year-old at the top of his lungs, spinning around with his tiny arms waving. "In a spitting match nobody SPITS like Gaston!"

"Gideon!" Belle tried to cut off her son before the inevitable, but she was too late. The little boy spat enthusiastically at the pavement, then ran off cackling behind the flowering bushes that lined the sidewalk.

"It's just a phase," Gold said in a soothing tone.

"Out of all the songs, he has to pick that one as his favorite?" moaned Belle. She raised her voice to carry past the shrubbery. "Gaston was a terrible person! He tried to kill your papa! That was even in the movie!"

Gideon ducked back from between the bushes and looked up at them seriously. "I know. I'm not scared. Mama and Papa killed the bad man."

Gold grinned briefly, until Belle glared at him. "What? There's no one else here." They were alone for the moment, taking a scenic but unpopular route back to their hotel at Disney World late on a sun-battered afternoon.

"That's not the point, Rumple." Belle sighed and looked at Gideon. She still felt a twinge of guilt whenever she thought of Gaston's ultimate fate, pushed into the River of Lost Souls by her own two hands. "You know we can't go around killing everyone who does something bad... that would be bad, too."

"And I for one am grateful you think that, sweetheart," murmured Gold. "Or I would be dead a thousand times over."

Gideon said hotly, "Papa isn't bad!"

Gold chuckled. "Yes, well, that's what you say now, son."

"Rumple!" Belle wished they could forget that nightmare of her early pregnancy, when she had been in a self-induced sleeping curse and Rumple had come to try to wake her up. To this day, she wasn't sure how much of that had been her own anxiety, how much had been due to the inherent darkness of the sleeping curse, how much had been the Black Fairy's manipulation, and how much Gideon's (or even Rumple's) own fears. Was this boy to grow up to be the same man who had called himself "Morpheus" in their shared dream?

Gideon broke through her distracted musings with, "But why Papa doesn't look like the Beast in the movie?"

Belle smiled. She whipped out the Beast plushie toy she had bought for herself and compared it to her husband, holding it up next to his face. "I don't know, isn't there a resemblance?"

Gold swatted it away. "Purely metaphorical. I didn't need literal horns and tail to be the devil."

"I think the horns are cute," admitted Belle before putting the toy away. She turned to Gideon. "Disney got a few things wrong, dear."

Gold rolled his eyes. "Just as well."

"I don't know," teased Belle. Even though the 'Beast' in her own story looked more human than not, and had never been a prince, the imp had dressed himself in a distinctive style, far more exotic than mere royalty. "Imagine the Dark One cosplayers."

"I'd rather not."

"It would only be fair. How many princesses did we see?" It had reminded Belle of the elaborate costumes she had grown up with. And she found herself missing the glittery, jittery sorcerer in leather and silk. "But not everyone likes dresses. I bet your old Enchanted Forest outfit would be a hit."

Gold snorted.

Belle laughed at the look on his face. "We'd have Rumples, Rumples, everywhere!"

"Lots and lots of Papas, ha ha ha!" Gideon clapped his hands in glee.

"..."

"It would be fun!" Belle said.

"Can we go home now?" Gold asked plaintively.

They were riding the miniature train through a forest, the air rushing through the open sides in a refreshing breeze. Belle and Rumplestiltskin, seated in the front of the second car, were the only passengers. She turned her head to check the cars behind her, at which point she realized that she was wearing the blue dress — the one from the movie? Or the one that Rumple had given her in the Dark Castle?

She glanced at him, somehow unsurprised to find him transformed back into the fairy tale imp, incongrous in the shiny, brightly-colored miniature train. "I don't see a driver."

"It's magic!" Rumple twirled his hands in his trademark flourish.

"Yours?"

Rumple shook his head. "Oneiromancy has never been my strong suit."

"Oneiro— you mean this is a dream!?"

Rumple nodded.

"Is it a curse? How do we get out?" Belle started to stand up, but Rumple pulled her back gently before she could get too agitated.

"No, no, relax. It's our son, being precocious." Rumple gestured around them. "He must have really liked the train ride..."

Belle's jaw dropped. "Gideon sent us here? Where is he, then?"

Rumple nodded towards the engine car. "I think he's the train..."

Well, they had all seen "Thomas the Tank Engine" and there was no unseeing it, was there? Belle had always secretly found the human faces on the locomotives to be unnerving, but her son had loved the show since he was four. "I don't know if that's cute or terrifying..."

Rumple leaned down and whispered to the floor, "Don't listen to your mother. Trains are lovely."

Belle rolled her eyes. "Sorry, baby. Mama thinks you're very talented!"

The train's whistle shrieked cheerfully.

Then the dream sliced itself apart in ribbons of light and shadow. Belle gasped, but before she could say anything, the scenery reassembled itself around them, somehow less solid than before, except for the railroad tracks that ran smoothly ahead of them.

A glossy brochure fell out of the air into Belle's lap.

"What in the world...?" Belle unfolded it to find a cartoonish map similar to the ones from the Disney parks.

Rumple peered over her shoulder to read the title in bemusement, "'Rumpletopia'? What is our son playing at?"

"No... no, it can't be." Belle's eyes widened in disbelief and the words stuck in her throat with how absurd they sounded.

But it was. It was a theme park dedicated to Rumplestiltskin.

Lots and lots of Papas, ha ha ha!

"Nooo..." Rumple covered his face with his hands, shaking his head in denial.

The train chugged along a high ridge where strange dragon-like creatures stood watch. "Timers", according to the map, and "Guarding Ridge."

Then it plunged down into a river valley, where ancient-eyed, tranquil-looking Rumplestiltskins could be found fishing or meditating. It was just like the little scenes they had seen in the Disney rides, except instead of ghosts or pirates, it was her husband caught in various tableaux. This was "Learning River," where the "Pure Ones" lived, according to the brochure.

Belle leaned over to whisper to the real one next to her, "Are they real? They look so real! Can they see us?"

"We're a hair out of synch with their time, so no one can see or hear us," came Rumple's muffled explanation from behind his hands. "As to whether they're real, I'm no philosopher to debate the nature of reality."

"Right." Belle remembered the Author's alternate story. That had seemed real enough, even when it wasn't. Then there was the wish realm that Emma and Regina had visited. A version of Robin Hood had actually followed them back to Storybrooke, even when the real one was dead. But this was just a dream, wasn't it?

Even as she thought about it, the train chugged deeper into a forest, and she saw a little cottage just like the one they had had in Isaac's book. And there they were! Herself and Rumple as they had been in that world — he just dismounting from his horse, no doubt back from some noble quest, while she met him at the gate.

"'Humble Forest'," muttered Rumple, peeking through his fingers at the map. "I remember that story. No doubt the 'humble' is meant ironically..."

"That was Isaac's fault. You were very sweet, underneath all the heroic posturing," said Belle.

Rumple snorted. "Sweet!"

Belle batted his shoulder. "You are." The trees seemed to grow darker overhead, shadows closing in around them. Belle read in a hushed voice, "This must be the 'Shadowland'. This is what's on the other side of the Vault of the Dark One?"

Rumplestiltskin nodded. "I used to keep my dagger hidden there. I moved it after Guinevere and her noble friend found it."

The last light vanished as the train went into a tunnel.

Suddenly the space opened around them into brightly lit caverns, the walls lined with bookshelves.

"Oh! A library!" In fact, it was a whole chain of libraries buried underneath a mountain called "Knowledge Point" according to the map. "I don't see any Rumples, though."

"I like it better already," said Rumple, finally dropping his hands to take a full look. "Griffons, huh?"

"Apparently they love books."

"Hmm."

The next area, however, had Rumple gripping the railing, face pale and eyes brimming with tears.

Peace Point, said the map. And the Rumplestiltskins here were not alone. It was a ragged, hollow-eyed peasant Rumple that Belle had never met, each of them accompanied by a young boy, of varying ages but never older than about fifteen.

Oh gods. Baelfire. Belle's heart wrenched at the realization. She reached for her husband and silently squeezed his hand in sympathy.

Neither of them spoke until the last Baelfire was long out of sight.

Then as the trees thinned out and more of the sky became visible, Belle cleared her throat and read from the map, "This must be 'Hearing Valley.'"

A single Rumplestiltskin was there to meet them. He rode a horse, but was clearly no knight. In fact—

"Is he a cowboy?" asked Belle in astonishment.

"Cattle, sheep — it's all much of a muchness," muttered her Rumplestiltskin.

The cowboy Rumple wheeled his horse and rode away. The train continued on past and towards the biggest tree Belle had ever seen. The branches reached up to the sky and the canopy spread over an area vast enough to encompass a city.

Then two eyes like moons appeared. Unlike every other pair of eyes in this strange place, these eyes focused on them and tracked their motion.

They had been seen.

"Rumple!" Belle gasped and clutched at his arm.

"I know," he said quietly.

The train slowed and rattled to a halt under that distant gaze.

"Gideon?" whispered Belle.

Then a voice rumbled across the valley, sending a shiver deep enough to chill her bones. "You should not be here. Your tree is safe. Now wake up!"

And then they did.

"Mama! Papa!"

Belle blinked her eyes open blearily to find herself in the hotel room at Disney World. Gideon had climbed onto the bed, sitting between their feet on top of the blankets.

"Did you see? Did you see?"

"Yes, we saw." Belle exchanged a glance with her husband. "What... what was that place? Did you make it all up, Gideon?" But how could he? Unless he remembered things from before, during that part of his life before he had returned to them.

Gideon shook his head. "I found it. Did you like it?" Then his face drooped. "We can't go again. She won't let me."

"She...?"

"The queen."

"The queen of 'Rumpletopia'?" Rumplestiltskin said with a straight face.

"I guess so," said Gideon. "Can we eat yet? I'm hungry."

Belle checked the clock. "The buffet opens in a few minutes. Get dressed, and we can go..."

It wasn't until later that Belle let herself think about how creepy the whole thing had been. Where was that place? What was it really? Someone out there was collecting versions of her husband? Why? Gideon didn't know, or didn't remember if he had once known, and Rumple didn't know, either.

"I have a feeling we aren't meant to get involved," he told her.

"But what if they need our help?"

"They have hundreds of copies of us already, sweetheart. What would be the point of adding another drop of water to an overflowing bucket?"

And with that Belle had to be satisfied. She comforted herself with the thought that whoever it was hadn't been collecting Gastons, so at least it was a step up from the Underworld...