In Storybrooke she always wins, in Storybrooke nothing ever changes, in Storybrooke she fell for her soulmate.
It was unintended, she hadn't known the attractive man who was always advocating for wealth redistribution was the man with the lion tattoo. She liked that he challenged her, that he didn't back down and wasn't afraid to tell her what he thought was wrong with her position.
He doesn't know her, not really, no one here does, but he respects her persona, admires Mayor Mills, actually listens to what she has to say. It's nice to have someone, after so long of no one. It's selfish and wrong, but she was lonely and he was lovely. One night after a heated debate in her office, she'd had the reckless urge to kiss him, and against her better judgment had done it. After that, he pursued her with as much passion as his causes, and she couldn't bring herself to resist. She was supposed to be happy here, and he had said no to her before, didn't bend to her will. She tricked herself into thinking he wanted this, that he had chosen her, that her curse wasn't controlling him.
She should have known better, should have broken it off when he pushed up his sleeves on their second date to reveal his tattoo. Should have known he had no choice, that his free will had been stolen from him by her, not once but twice, and that there was no way he would be there with her if he knew all that she'd done.
He deserved better than to be saddled with the Evil Queen.
But Regina was never good at doing the right thing, and being with Robin was the only thing that made this curse actually feel like winning. So she let it go on, falling deeper and deeper for both him and his son, telling herself they wouldn't or couldn't because of the curse. They might act like a family, but they would never be one, they would never move forward, that eventually he'd grow tired of her and move on.
The last thing she expected was a proposal.
And a public one at that.
He'd rented Granny's for his birthday, had invited all of his friends, the men who had started out eyeing her warily, before accepting her into their group.
She never should have let it get this far, let their lives intertwine so much, but the more he gave the more she wanted, the more she took.
Now even more is hers for the taking, but she cannot say yes, cannot agree to marry him. Not like this.
There's champagne on the tables, and everyone is watching them, listening to his beautiful words about how he loves her and the good person he believes her to be, the kind of person he should end up with, someone who is not her.
This is supposed to be a happy occasion, and as always she's going to ruin it. That's what she does, ruins things. She's already ruined his life bringing him here, by being with him, she cannot keep doing it.
"Regina Mills, will you marry me?" Robin asks, down on one knee, a gorgeous ring in his hand, and she can't breathe. He is waiting for her to say something, the room is waiting for her to say something, but what can she say?
She knows what she has to do, but still, she freezes, taking a second to memorize him like this, with love in his eyes, a look she hasn't earned but craves desperately.
"I… I'm so sorry," she whispers, watching as his face falls before she flees the diner like the coward that she is. She should be the one breaking not him, she could have spared him all of this hurt and pain if she'd just left him alone. She brings pain, and ruin and destruction, always has, always will. He is better off without her.
She hears him calling her name as she runs away, but she doesn't turn back, can't.
She will never be able to see him again, never be able to hold him again. She cannot give him a reason. Cannot explain to him why she ran away.
Let him hate her, let them all hate her.
One day he will know why, and one day he will be thankful for this.