Written for Love Fest 2021, for Frumpologist. The prompt was 'Sirius/Lily, longing glances'.

#TeamCass

Beta credits go to Grammarly, please excuse any mistakes as they're all mine.

Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this creation.

He was staring at her again, she was sure of it. In fact, she could tell without even turning around to check that it was him. Not a day went by since she had started dating James 7 months ago that she didn't curse the stupidity of her past self at least a little bit.

To be absolutely fair, Sixth-Year-Lily really had no intention of ever giving in to James Potter's advances. And it certainly hadn't seemed like it would be the worst mistake of her life to let Sirius into her knickers. They had both been single at the time and there was definitely a spark between them.

Not to mention he had always been easy on the eyes, even if he was a bit of a rake. But there was only so many longing glances a girl could endure before she asked a bloke to make good on the promises he made in all his crass jokes. He had given her at least that and more too, the magnificent jerk.

He'd made her take a vow, that James could never know. But that had absolutely seemed worth it at the time; she was having the best sex of her life. Sirius Black knew how to please a woman. If only the bloody idiot hadn't waited until she had been seeing James for two whole months before confessing his love for her.

As much as she cared about James now, that feeling deep down in her gut didn't lie and she knew she could have been just as happy with Sirius. Not that there was any way for her to make that choice now without ruining a lifelong friendship and coming out looking like a slag.

All she could do was bury her feeling of guilt and quietly endure the longing glances, which had resumed with a vengeance after Sirius' ill-timed confession and her reluctant rejection of his advances. She may be many things, but a cheater was not one of them.

She sighed.

And they said women were complicated.