What is Love?

by Freddo

I woke up and had to capture this odd one-shot after dreaming part of it. These are the meditations of a Ninth-Class Analysis robot who, after being activated for thirty-four years, is just learning what it is like to be human through the joys and trials of his friends, especially a woman who mystifies him. This is the viewpoint of IQ-9, during his thirty-fourth "birthday party."

WHAT IS LOVE?

A Short STAR BLAZERS fanfic

By: Frederick P. Kopetz

What is Love?

Baby don't hurt me

Don't hurt me

No more…

Techno-pop genre song; Hadaway-late 20th Century

What is Love?

I have been conscious and functioning for thirty-four years now, and I am still trying to compile within my circuits what love is.

Humans are very complex creatures.

There are all kinds of Love.

Love between friends.

Love between Lovers.

Love between human parents and human children.

I thought I knew what love was as I observed the humans during the first years of my consciousness.

I was wrong.

I know.

But I do not know.

This day, February 2, 2232, I have been functioning for precisely thirty-four years.

I still remember quite vividly the day that I attained full consciousness.

I was activated in a physics lab in the underground city of the Tokyo Megalopolis, Military Sector, that day.

There were three humans present.

The first, I have seen only on and off over the past thirty-four years. If he is alive now, he is very, very old as humans call it.

He had a mop of hair then, an inquisitive face, and glasses. I do not know how he looks now. I last saw him eight years ago.

Cross-reference: Name: Ravi Shukhandikar, Ph.D. Educated: India Subcontinent. Data file states he held a Bachelor of Science, Master's of Science, and three doctorates on the day he finished programming me.

He is my creator.

I believe the human word is "father."

I asked him who I was.

He said I was a robot, Ninth Class or Series, Analysis: a genius.

I am a genius. But why do I understand now that a genius does not know everything?

Doctor Shukhandikar gave me life. Another person helped him, but that person is not my mother.

Maybe he can best be described as a brother. My brother. I see him frequently. Like myself, he is a genius. He has not changed much in appearance. His hair now his grey streaks, but his eyes are just as inquisitive as ever.

He has no eyebrows, and he also has trouble with his emotions.

Cross-reference: Name: Stephen Sandor, Ph.D. Educated: Russian Federation. Data file states he also held a Bachelor of Science, Physics and Engineering Master's in Physics and only two doctorates (in Astrophysics and Applied Engineering/Design) on the day he assisted with my activation. See: Cross-reference: "Colleagues". That's what he and Dr. Shukhandikar are. Colleagues.

I think Stephen is somewhat like me. He is a Cyborg. That means much of him is a machine. I did not know this the day he activated me, but I have since learned that he had a human spouse who hurt him very badly once, before I existed. They could not stand being with each other any longer. They obtained something called…a "divorce". See Cross-Reference: Law files. There were no children. Stephen's wife never spoke to him again. She loved him. But not anymore.

I know this hurt Stephen. He told me once. And only once.

What is love?

In this case, love wounded Stephen. For life. He recovered. He had other girlfriends. He now has a second wife: Cross Reference: Name: Diane Henson-Sandor, also a Ph.D. I think she likes me. A bit.

Then, there is the third person who was there when I was activated.

SHE was an example of the human sub-class of female known as "GIRL" then. I believe she was a physics student of Stephen's. Cross-reference: Professorships of Stephen Sandor, Ph.D. First Professorship; Western United States, University of Colorado, Boulder, in underground city of Denver: 2196-2197. Second Professorship: Earth Defense Institute of Physics and Biochemistry, underground Tokyo Megalopolis, see: Engineer: 2198-2199; Also detached to Engineering and ship's maintenance Secretariat, 2198-2199.

The girl I am about to cross-reference simply drives me out of my mind. I do not understand her. Even though I see her frequently.

Cross-reference: Name: Nova Forrester, RN, NP. Educated: United States, University of Colorado Boulder. Data file states she then held a Bachelor of Science in Astrophysics and Biochemistry. Was working on a Master's Degree in Nurse-Practitioner duties when I met her. Logically, I thought she was and is a combination nurse and astrophysicist.

Stephen asked her to be there when I was activated. I believe she even added some modules. I do not recall clearly. I do recall my sensors picked up Ravi and Stephen. I identified then as Human: male. Interesting.

Then, I saw Nova. She was and is beautiful. She has seemed to age a little, but now she looks young again, like on the day we first met.

What is love?

I think I fell in love on the day we met. Her face flips across every circuit of mine like a ghost I cannot touch. But I do not quite understand love yet. Although I think I have a better idea.

She likes me, but she does not love me in the normal, obvious human-to-human sense. She loves HIM. The Captain. Derek Wildstar, the human with the long hair and strange moods.

He has a temper. He frightens me. He also seems to like me. I think.

I never quite understood why Nova and Derek are so attracted to each other. I still do not quite comprehend this aspect of their personalities. On the latter part of the Bee Planet mission, after she denied my request to marry her, she ran to Wildstar when she needed comforting. Why? Why? WHY? She loves him so much that she performed a marriage ceremony with him almost two years later, and changed her last name from Forrester to Wildstar. Not all humans do that these days. It is very old-fashioned.

She is the most illogical human I have ever met.

She has much in common with myself, though. We (she and I) are both as the human metaphor goes, as curious as cats. We both must work on a problem until we solve it. I am incredibly curious.

I was also incredibly curious about her biological form. I do know she had a few mechanical parts for a while. Lost an eye: Battle of Arcturus, 2214. I was present at and assisted in the operation to give Nova a bionic eye.

I know she no longer has it now. She once told me death or cessation of function is a different matter for human beings than for robots.

She died a few years ago and ceased to function. Somehow, she returned from death and functions again. Has no bionic eye now. She is both much merrier and much sadder than she used to be, and is even closer to Admiral Wildstar.

She recently let me know my curiosity about her biological form was annoying, rude, crass, and that it hurt her emotionally and embarrassed her. Quote: "IQ, why do you still act like a five-year old around me?" End quote. I never understood that before. I do not intentionally want to harm Nova, so I am deprogramming myself of some of my worst characteristics of curiosity.

What is Nova to me? Maybe my mother. Maybe my sister. Maybe an unrequited love?

Maybe all three at once?

Humans are very hard to understand.

She and the Admiral have had children: small humans who grew: Cross-reference: Human Reproduction. I saw Nova giving birth once. I knew it hurt her tremendously. But the smile on her face when she saw that young human might have made it worth it.

I do not know. I am a…robot.

She and Admiral Wildstar: I recently saw at Heroes' Hill. They were looking at two new memorial plaques and crying very hard. Names on plaques: Hartnell-Wildstar, Jonathan, male, Wildstar, Anastasia, female. Both human.

Two of their children. They died.

Losing their children in this war hit them very hard. They have grieved, and they are still grieving.

I am grieving, too. I do not understand it. Not a logical emotion for a robot.

But Nova and Derek are friends. Nova even shares the same date of birth with me: February the Second.

I saw her wearing a stupid paper hat today. I think Derek Wildstar put it on her head. They laughed about it.

We were born the same day, but years apart.

I think she will give me my own stupid paper hat today, too. When we have been in the same place for this day, we have always had a birthday party together.

It is unfortunate I cannot eat birthday cake. I know she likes it. With ice cream on top.

Happy Birthday to Nova. Happy Birthday to ME!

I am spinning around. Why? I think I'm happy.

She is I understand. Most illogical. She is now a Head of State, but she still dances and laughs on her birthday.

She and I danced a few minutes ago. Well, she danced with me holding one hand and Derek Wildstar holding the other.

Someone else took a picture of us dancing. It is amusing. Ha ha!

What is love?

I am still learning. I am strong. I am intelligent. I am logical.

I do not understand love completely. I thought I had. I do not.

I still remember Derek mourning when he thought he had lost his brother on the Iscandar Mission. It hurt him. Nova and he became close friends soon after we all found the wreck of the Paladin on Titan.

I stated this then. I state it now.

It must be very hard to be a human.

What is love?

I am still learning. But Nova tells me I have all the time in the world to understand and she smiles and pats my dome.

She and Derek are hurting again: regarding lives they made together.

That must be the hardest part of being a human.

What is love?

If only I knew.

Maybe I am not very logical myself any longer.

Maybe I am becoming…human.

END.