Ancient Artifacts
I know everyone has probably written a "Paris prank gone wrong" story before, but I have writer's block, and this was in storage. I hope someone out there enjoys it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek Voyager or anything associated with it, Paramount does!
Tom Paris smiled to himself.
What I wouldn't give for a whoopee cushion right about now.
Ever since seeing the Doctor take command, he'd been unable to get a master scheme out of his head, so he'd set up something good for, well, pretty much the only person he could prank without serious consequences. Poor Harry Kim had looked so tired in the mess hall that afternoon, Tom just couldn't resist. Night shift would be far from boring today.
He heard the turbo-lift open and focused on the helm, fighting the urge to turn and watch the fun, which would be a dead giveaway to Harry that something was up. It wouldn't be long now…there! He heard a ridiculously loud whoosh of air and noise from the whoopee-cushioned seat behind him and spun around with a gigantic grin of glee.
Uh-oh.
"Mr. Paris." Captain Kathryn Janeway was standing a little off-balance near the chair, evidently having jumped up in surprise and spilled some of her coffee. "Care to explain?"
"Uh, yeah…about that," Tom stammered. "It was for Harry…and there's more." Oh boy, here goes, he thought.
Right on cue, a deafening peal of twentieth or twenty-first century rock music sounded on the bridge and a burst of confetti shot out from behind the command team's seats. It spewed high into the air and floated down to land everywhere.
"Computer, pause music!" the Captain called. Her free hand was placed firmly on her hip, never a good sign. She looked pointedly at him.
Tom shrugged and decided to ride this out. "Party things from history. They're ancient artifacts," he confessed.
Gradually, a lopsided smile formed on the Captain's face. "Well," she sighed at last, "it was creative, and I'm certainly awake now. I have to give you that. The bridge is yours to clean up." She exited to the ready room amidst muffled laughter from the junior staff. Tom looked around in dismay.
At the least the bridge wasn't equipped with the holographic emitters he had needed for his original plan...