SHEAMUS
I ring the door bell to Finn's house several times. I know he's home. He's always fucking home. The house might be dark but I know he's there. I need to talk to him. I'm angry, and he needs to know I blame him for everything. It's all his fault.
"Finn!" I yell.
I try the door handle but the door is locked. I slam my fist into the door several times, yelling his name again, but the door remains locked. I try the handle one more time. To no surprise the door is still locked.
"I know you're home, asshole!" I growl.
I'm gonna find a way in. One way or another, he'll have to talk to me. I walk around his house and stop as I see him sitting in the garden. For a moment my heart goes out to him. He looks so small as he's sitting there on the grass, hugging his knees. I can hear he's crying. I wanna cry too but I refuse. He doesn't get to see my tears. I don't owe it to him to show I'm hurting the same way too. Instead I walk over to him.
"I knocked on your door, asshole," I say.
He looks up at me with tears running down his cheeks. Apparently he doesn't care about showing me this side of him, and it angers me further. He doesn't get to pull the grieving card.
"Wipe your fucking face!" I growl.
"I'm so sorry, Sheamus. I miss her so much," he says.
"She was my sister!" I yell.
"She was my girlfriend!" He yells back.
I'm left stunnned for a moment. I wasn't expecting him to yell at me. He gets up on his feet and I swallow nervously. I might be taller than him but he has more muscle mass than me. I'm not sure who would win in a fight between us.
"You killed her," I say.
"It was an accident," he says.
"You drove that car. You're the reason she was on the road with you that night. It should have been you lying in the hospital. It should have been you who's in the ground now," I say.
"You're the one who pulled the plug," he throws in my face.
He's right about that. They weren't married so I was left with the hard choice to make as her only family member. Keep her connected to the machines in the hospital or pull the plug. The hospital said it would be best to give her peace. She was braindead and would never wake up. We were just prolonging the inevitable. He begged me not to do it. He would pay for everything as long as I let her live. That's also part of my anger. That he wouldn't support me when I needed it the most.
"You don't get to fucking blame me! You killed her!" I snarl. "I wish I had never introduced you to her. You fucking ruined her."
"I loved her!" He screams. "Fenella was my heart and soul. She was my everything. I loved her more than you can ever imagine. You're the one who killed her. You pulled the plug. Not me. She's dead because of you. Now get the fuck off my property before I make you."
I grit my teeth. He's threatening me. The asshole is actually threatening me. I'm gonna put him in his place in a way he's never experienced before. I'm not just gonna hurt him. I'm gonna hurt him so fucking bad that it'll break him forever.
"You're a fucking dead man!" I spit in anger.
I step towards him. He raises his fists to fight back. It never gets that far though. Something pushes us apart. It's like a lightning strikes the ground between us. We both look up at the sky and then back at each other. We both felt it. Something pushed us apart by force.
"Did you feel that?" He asks lowly.
"Yes," I answer. "What was that?"
"Fenella," he says.
I'm rooted to the ground for a second or two. I'm not sure how long. It feels longer than it actually is. He speaks her name as if she's still there, and I don't think I got it in me to disagree with him. He opens his mouth to say something but I don't wanna hear what's on his mind. I'm scared, I'm hurt, and I wanna cry in peace. I turn around and storm back to my car to break down without him or anyone seeing my tears and my heartbreak.