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OK, let's go over this one more time, for the record.

My name is Buffy Summers. And before you start asking what kind of mother gives her daughter a stupid name like 'Buffy'… Look, the eighties were a weird time for everyone. And I have a working theory that Mom being adamant on giving me that name planted the first seed in my Dad's head that would grow into his fantastic idea to let his secretary suck his dick, but I'm not here to talk about my parents' divorce.

I used to be your typical California valley girl. You know the type: the blonde cheerleader whose only obsessions were manicures, shopping and boys. And by boys, I mean jocks, because back then I wouldn't let a nerd touch me even if he was wearing latex gloves and had washed his hands underneath. It was a simpler time and I'm not proud of the girl I used to be.

But when I was fifteen years old, I was called up to become the next Vampire Slayer.

Yes, vampires. And I kill them. Demons too, but mostly vampires. They're real, not just the things you read about in books by Bram Stoker or Anne Rice or Stephenie Meyer. And before you ask, no, vampires don't "sparkle". The closest a vampire's ever gotten to sparkling was that one time Dawn threw a tub of glitter at one to distract it while I went in for the kill, but that's a whole other story and we're getting off track.

I could go into the long and tragic tale of my first few years as the Slayer, but I know that's not the story you wanna hear. So, to recap: my first Watcher died, I burnt down my school gym to kill all the vampires inside, then I moved to Sunnydale with my mom and sister, got a new Watcher, killed a lot of vampires including the Master, drowned in a puddle and got brought back to life, met another Slayer named Kendra who got called after me because of the aforementioned drowning, met a vampire with a soul called Angel, fell in love with said vampire with a soul, he lost his soul and turned evil (as one does), I had to kill him to save the world, he came back but decided I was better off without him and moved to LA (jerk), met another Slayer named Faith who got called when Kendra died, she turned evil (it's a trend), I put her in a coma, and finally, I graduated high school.

I first met Spike somewhere in the middle of all that.

He came to Sunnydale to kill me and add another notch to his Slayer-killing tally, and also to heal his crazy-ass girlfriend Drusilla. We had many fights, one of which put him in a wheelchair for months right before Angel's soul went walkabout. Luckily, he healed up just in time to come and make a truce with me against Angelus, because Angelus wanted to end the world and Spike was evil but not 'end-the-world' evil and after it was all over, he took his crazy-ass girlfriend and left Sunnydale.

One thing you need to know about Spike: he always comes back.

He turned up drunk in my senior year because Drusilla dumped him, but the second time he came back was when it all started. When things got… complicated.

As you've probably guessed, when you're in the Slayer business, friends and even lovers can become your enemies at the drop of a hat. But what you should also know is that the reverse is true as well. Your enemies can become your friends. And sometimes, your enemies can even become your lovers.

This is the story of how I, Buffy Summers, convinced the infamous Slayer of Slayers to switch sides and fight for the light without even needing to regain his soul.

Here we go. It happened in my freshmen year at college.

And on that fateful night, I was doing what most freshmen girls were doing: hanging out at a party with a guy. The guy? Parker Abrams. Back then I thought he was gonna be my next big love after Angel; the guy I was gonna marry if I was lucky. Looking back on it now, I can only laugh at my naïve idiocy. Love is dumb, thy name is Buffy. You'll be happy to know that I've gotten smarter since then, thanks to the bleach blonde pest who at that point in time was about to crash the party.

Parker had gone to get us some drinks and I was surveying my surroundings when I felt the tingle at the back of my neck. My Slayer senses were telling me there was a vampire nearby, and as fast as a finger-snap, I was on the hunt.

The flash of familiar bleach blonde heading for the door had me removing the stake from my back pocket and chasing after him. I was worried he would be leading away some poor unsuspecting victim, but by the time I caught up with him outside he was alone, hands in his pockets but also grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

Or like the vampire that ate the poor helpless college student.

"Spike! What are you doing here?"

I realised from his expression that he wasn't surprised to see me at all, which, duh, he was in my town. But then it hit me that he probably led me outside to fight, and I so wasn't in the mood when it was supposed to be my night off. My date night.

"Why, Slayer. Fancy meeting you here." His smirk didn't falter as he looked around, unbothered by my presence. "I thought I'd take a walk. Maybe pick up a snack on my way home. Drunk student doesn't taste the best, but it'll do in a pinch."

I lifted my stake. I knew I had to unbalance him somehow and my next words came to me immediately. "What's the matter, Spike? Did Drusilla dump you again?"

That got a reaction. His smile dropped and in his eyes I could see anger and, to my surprise back then, heartbreak. A lot of people will tell you that vampires can't love because they don't have their souls, and I used to believe this too. Having the love of your life pull a one-eighty from 'I love you' to 'I want to kill you' will make you grasp for any explanation that hurts the less, and it was less painful for me to believe that he simply couldn't love me with his soul gone rather than face the truth that maybe he didn't love me that much to begin with.

Spike could love, though. He threw himself into love without looking back, giving his everything to the object of his affections. And for over a century, that had been Drusilla. Until she decided that she didn't want him anymore and dumped him, just like that. Over a hundred years of devotion thrown out the window.

He clenched his fists and fired back, "Maybe I dumped her!"

We both knew that was a lie, but I wasn't there to give him relationship advice or pass judgement on his questionable taste in women. I was there to make sure he didn't kill anyone, including me. "If you eat anyone, my hand's gonna get stake happy."

The stupid vamp actually had the audacity to look like a pouty little kid locked out of a candy store. "You're not fun, Slayer. Can I at least eat the wanker who's arm you were hanging off of?"

"No!" The thought of him going after Parker filled me with a cold dread that I could turn into anger, given the right motivation.

Spike's brows went up. "Really? I would've thought you'd want me to eat him, considering he's stepping out on you."

"Stepping out?" I asked him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that I can smell about ten other girls on him," said Spike. "And I wouldn't be surprised if he's gone through another five since you've been out here."

Another thing you've got to know about Spike: he doesn't lie. Well, maybe a little lie here and there, but mostly about silly stuff and he says it in such a jokey way that I know he's lying anyway. But when it comes to the big stuff, he's always brutally honest.

I knew this even back then. That didn't stop me from saying, "You're lying."

And there it was again; that smirk. "Why lie when the truth hurts so much more?"

He was right, of course. The stupid, smug vampire was right, and my tentative dreams of retiring from slaying and settling down with Parker after college instantly shattered. But I wasn't heartbroken. I maybe felt sad for about a few seconds before I was angry instead; angry at Spike for being a jerk, angry at Parker for not being the perfect guy I wanted him to be, and angry at the world for not giving me a break, just this once.

I threw my stake at Spike, but it was clumsy. He caught it easily.

"Get out of here, Spike!" I spat.

"Hey now, don't shoot the messenger," he said, before he actually tossed the stake back to me, which I caught without thinking. "Besides, you can do better than him."

And then he left, coat blowing in the wind like he was some kind of supervillain.

Even now I'm not sure why I didn't go after him. Maybe I knew deep down he wasn't looking for a fight; that the populace was safe from him at least for that one night. Or maybe it was because I had bigger fish to fry, and that fish was named Parker Abrams. So, I marched back into the party and there he was, lounging on the couch kissing another girl. I was so mad that I grabbed a whole bowl of punch and threw it all over him. The girl he was kissing got out of the way in time.

Any complaint Parker was going to make died in his mouth when he saw my face. I must've been in full Slayer mode, because he – along with most of the guys around him – hurried away pretty quickly. And everyone else got out of my way when I left the party again, this time for good.

On the way back to my dorm, my anger shifted to focus solely on Parker instead of including Spike in the mix. Because evil vampire that he was, he still had the decency to tell me what was going on. He could've been a dick about it and let the whole thing play out; could've waited for me to actually fall for Parker and then tell me afterwards. Or he even could've let me discover the truth for myself.

Not counting the truce against Angelus (where he benefited from it) and then again against the Mayor's minions (where it was pretty much his fault anyway), it was the first time he helped me without gaining anything from it. And it wouldn't be the last.

When I saw Spike again a few days later, it was a bright sunny day and he was standing in the middle of the campus. Yes, you heard that right. No, he wasn't standing under a tree or in any other kind of shade. He was standing in direct sunlight and not turning into a giant fireball of doom.

I distinctly remember blinking a few times and then pinching myself, just to make sure that what I was seeing was real. And he was watching me the whole time, smirking again like my reaction to this impossible sight was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

Yet another thing you need to know about Spike: he can be a real jerk sometimes. A big, stupid jerky jerk face.

I stormed over to him, my hand wrapped around the stake in my bag. When I reached him, I hissed, "What the hell, Spike?! What the hell is this?!"

He nodded at the hand tucked in my bag and said, "Don't bother with the stake, Slayer. It's not gonna work."

Now on the one hand, he could've just been saying that to stop me from staking him. But on the other hand, he wasn't burning up in the sunlight so whatever was making him sunproof was probably making him stake-proof, too. Still, I kept my hand on my stake, because it gave me some comfort. "Answer my question."

"Why would I reveal my secrets to you, Slayer? You'll just ruin my fun."

I hated him. I hated him with every fibre of my being, and whenever he acted all smug it just made me hate him more. But instead of hitting him and making a scene, I used my brain and looked him over, seeing if I could notice if anything had changed. And before you ask how I could know him so well that I would be able to tell if anything was off… he was my mortal enemy. I had to know everything about him. Including how he looked. I didn't just stare at him for fun, you know.

I swear.

It paid off, because I noticed something different when I looked at his hands. Spike had a thing for big ugly rings, but there was one I hadn't seen before. I mean, yeah, it could've just been a new one he'd bought or stolen or picked off of his latest victim, but this ring didn't look like his style. It was old fashioned with a big green gem stuck to it, and maybe it was supposed to be feminine? I wasn't sure; my style of jewellery is small and subtle.

The ring was my best bet, so I made a grab for it. Spike immediately snatched his hand away and took several steps back, his face full of shock. And seeing that shock, I knew my instincts were right. The ring was the key.

"Give me the ring, Spike," I ordered him.

He barked out a laugh. "Yeah, right. Let me guess: you wanna give it to you precious Angel, don't you?"

That thought hadn't even crossed my mind, and this realisation served as a follow-up stab to the heart because the first had been the mention of his name. "So what if I do? He needs it to help people. You'll just use it to cause chaos."

Spike let out a long-suffering sigh, acting like he was talking to an idiot or a child. I should mention that this was the first and only time he'd ever spoken to me in this way. "First thing's first: I'm not completely daft. I know better than to start murdering people in broad bloody daylight. I just wanted a bit of freedom in the day and to see if I freckled. Second thing's second: If you actually believe that Angel will want to step out of the shadows, you're dafter than Dru. He'll smash the bloody thing while making some sort of grand speech about how he'll lose sight of his sodding sacred mission and how a monster like him deserves to stay in the dark."

As much as I hated to admit it, that sounded exactly like something Angel would do and say. And knowing him, he would've probably done it with me standing right there, not caring that he was ripping my heart out and shredding it to pieces. He'd already done that once before, when he broke up with me. He would definitely have been game for a second round of 'Kick Buffy When She's Down'.

"And last thing's last," Spike continued, "what if the bastard lost his soul again? Do you really think it's a good idea to give Angelus something that'll make him unkillable?"

Once again, he was right. That would have been a really, really bad idea. Like, the King of Bad Ideas. But while Spike was the lesser evil – since he at least knew better than to end the freaking world – it still wasn't wise to let him have the ring, even if he had no intention of causing trouble during the day. "Just because Angel can't have it doesn't mean you get to keep it. I'll only ask nicely once, Spike. Hand it over."

I held out my hand, and he laughed.

"Forget it, Slayer. You're not taking this from me when I dug it up fair and square."

"Fair and square? Our fights are never gonna be fair and square so long as you're wearing that ring!"

Now, I know what you're thinking. Spike's evil, right? Why would he care about whether our fights are 'fair and square'? But Spike always seemed to have this twisted sense of honour. He went after Slayers because we're supposed to be a vampire's equal. He loves a challenge; loves a good fight. When we first fought one another in the dark hallways of my school, we both put down our weapons and fought without them, fists and fangs.

And my words got to him. I could see it written all over his face. He deflated and actually looked disappointed. Kind of like a kid who'd just realised his friend couldn't come out to play anymore.

"Tell you what," he said. "We fight for it. You and me, tonight. I won't wear the gem, you don't bring your Scooby Snacks with you. Winner gets the gem. Deal?"

If your first reaction to this is to proclaim it to be a trap then you haven't been paying attention. Spike doesn't lie, and he has at least some honour. Throw in a chance to fight me again, and there was no doubt he would keep his word. I knew this.

So, I said, "Deal. Meet me outside the high school at nine. It's the empty shell in the disaster zone area. Can't miss it."

"I know where the bloody high school is," said Spike. "Been there before, haven't I? But yeah, I'll meet you there."

He walked away in the sunlight, a sight which wigged me out so much I think I stared at him for longer than I should have done for a mortal enemy.

The rest of that day was mostly filled with my usual classes, though I did take some time out to go to my Watcher, Giles, and ask him about any kind of jewellery that could make a vampire invulnerable. He and Willow, my best friend, discovered that Spike's new accessory was called the Gem of Amara, a ring which protected a vampire from its usual weaknesses like stakes, sunlight, holy water, crosses, the works. Though there were theories that beheadings and actually setting them on fire could still work.

Giles kept telling me to take someone with me even after I told him about the deal I made with Spike. And though he made a sensible argument about Spike being untrustworthy and the fact that I could die without someone there to help me, I was adamant about going alone. Because there was no way I was letting Spike have the moral high ground if he kept his word and I didn't.

When nine o'clock finally rolled around, I walked up to the high school where Spike was already waiting. He was staring at what was left of the building.

"You know, when you said it was an empty shell in a disaster zone, I didn't think you meant it literally," he said.

I had to smile, because high school had often felt like how I'd described it. "We had to blow it up because the Mayor turned into a giant snake. Long story."

He gave me a look that told me he was impressed, before making a big show of taking off his ring and placing it on some rubble. "There. Now we're on even ground."

"Good." I didn't waste any time in throwing the first punch.

Spike dodged it with ease and instead of looking surprised that I'd attacked, he was grinning like a maniac. "Yes! Come at me, Slayer!"

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I secretly enjoyed fighting with Spike, my enemy. They were challenging and gave me a thrill I never quite got with any other vampire. But our fight that night was something else. Something… more.

It started out basic enough, with us trading blows and snarky quips. I don't know when that changed, maybe around the time he remarked, "Impressive," with a tone of voice that showed genuine respect.

From then on, it became clear that we were fighting less out of sacred duty (on my part) and general villainy (on his part) and more because we were enjoying it. Like, really enjoying it. I wasn't trying to seriously hurt him and he wasn't trying to seriously hurt me. I was laughing, he was laughing, and our quips had become more friendly.

Maybe even downright flirtatious.

"You've learnt some new moves, Slayer."

"You like?"

"Ooh, now I feel special. The Slayer learns new moves just for me."

"Who else would this little performance be for?"

Fighting Spike felt like finding that perfect dancing partner who got your style in a way no one else did. Someone who could both mirror and match you, challenge and respect you, keep you on your toes while also keeping you balanced. I've always wondered if every Slayer had that perfect vampire for them out there who matched them perfectly, and if that's true, if I'm the only one who managed to meet mine.

I don't know how much time passed, but we both grew tired after a while. Our hits weren't landing and my arms felt like spaghetti. Then, at the exact same moment, we both collapsed to the ground. I was panting and so was he, which was really weird because vampires weren't supposed to breathe, but then he always liked to break the rules, even vampire ones.

"What now?" I asked aloud, because we couldn't keep fighting like this.

He looked past me and I realised what he was thinking. The gem. Suddenly it wasn't about who would best who, but who could get to the ring first.

We both launched to our feet at the same time, only he had the foresight to reach out and push me back over, because of course out of the two of us it would be the vampire who played dirty. Even with his head start I was able catch up so I was right behind him, and I quickly leapt onto his back as he grabbed the gem. I felt his weight give beneath me, and for a moment I thought my plan to push him over had worked.

I didn't realise what he was actually doing until it was too late.

Spike fell backwards so I landed first with him on top. The wind was knocked out of me and he spun quickly, pinning me down with that stupid smirk on his face. And for one terrifying moment I thought that was it. That was how I was gonna go out, and I found myself regretting not listening to Giles.

His face was inches from mine, and he said, "I win."

But then, to my shock, he leapt off me and onto his feet, and backed off.

He'd had me right there. He could have ended it; ended me. But he didn't. It took me maybe a minute to really process that before I scrambled to my feet. Spike had moved too far away for me to try and make another grab for the gem, but that wasn't what I was focussed on.

All of my Slayer training taught me that when given the opportunity, a vampire would always go for the kill. And Spike had just taken that training manual, ripped it up and thrown it to the wind with a smile on his face.

"Why didn't you just kill me?" I demanded.

His brows went up. "Did you want me to?"

"No," I said. "But… why didn't you? Spike, you're a vampire. And not just any vampire, but one who's never been shy about wanting me, the Slayer, dead. So, what gives?"

As I was talking, he was getting increasingly frustrated, until finally he blurted out, "You want the truth, Slayer? You want to hear the bloody pathetic truth? Well, get ready to laugh, because here it comes. You're all I've got left."

That wasn't what I'd expected to hear, as you can imagine. "Sorry, what?"

He sighed. "You were right before, Slayer. Dru dumped me. Left me for a sodding fungus demon. She's never gonna take me back. And I don't know what else to do, or where else to go. I thought about coming to get the gem so I could finally kill you, thinking that giving her the gem and your head would finally bring her around. But even if it did, how long would it take for her to step out on me again? We haven't exactly been a steady couple; she's always chased after whatever she fancied, leaving me behind in the dirt until she got bored and came back to me. I suppose I've finally had enough of all that. Only I've never liked the idea of being alone, and I don't have friends. It's bloody unnatural, but you're probably the closest I've got to a friend. Funny old world, isn't it?"

I wanted to snark back that maybe he'd have actual friends if he didn't keep killing people, but I couldn't even force the words past my mouth. Because it was just… sad. Spike didn't have anyone, and the closest thing he had to a friend was his mortal enemy. He hadn't come back to Sunnydale to kill me. He came back because he was lonely and didn't know what to do with himself.

But he was still a vampire. Still a killer. Lonely or not, I couldn't let him stay and snack on the populace. I should have told him to leave.

What I said instead was, "If you promise not to hurt anyone, then you can stay."

He looked surprised by my words. And then he looked like he was actually considering them. The loneliness must have been a lot worse than I thought.

Eventually he said, "I'll think about it," before walking away. I let him go.

I didn't know it then, but from that night on I couldn't call us enemies anymore. Not quite friends, but definitely not enemies.