April fools Notice: This is one those ideas. You know you can but that doesn't mean you should. But would you look at the date! You see I have no choice. Forgive me.
I have conflicting views of April Fools Day. I don't want to annoy my readers or taint my work with pranks so there won't be any changes.
If my chapters are ready on April Fools then I will upload them normally. No Pranks.
But I do want to leave a prank too. So I decided to upload a new story altogether. This story has nothing to do with Phantasmagoria of Familiar.
Authors note: Consider yourself officially pranked whether you read it or miss out on it. Let the awkwardness begin.
April Fools!
I look up at the sky. It is the first time I have seen or heard anything like this. Fireworks illuminate the night sky of my hometown. There have been no announcements of it, nor are there any festivities at the time. It begins slowly, tiny colorful sparks twinkle in the sky followed by bigger ones every now and then. It is captivating to look at. Then, a big explosion very close to my hometown. I can see some of the bigger ones explode in the sky and make it all the way down to earth. They are not fireworks, but meteorites.
I run all the way to where the loud sound has emanated from taking no breaks and ignoring the dangers of the forest surrounding the city along the way until I finally reach a small crater. The foliage around it is burned, remaining trees knocked over and no sound of animals anywhere. They have all fled the scene in fear of their lives. There I see it. A burned up piece of molten rock, no metal, maybe not even that. A small object made of multiple different compositions. Upon closer inspection, it turns out to be objects of different origin molten together into a single projectile as soon as they have entered the atmosphere. I decide it is worth further investigating this unnatural anomaly.
I make my way back home. There in the garage sits my companion, an old, green collectible worth many times more than my salary as a janitor. It is my pride. The very first model of a series of easily tuned spaceships. It lacks some features of newer models but is compatible with all the parts so they can easily be added later, if at a bit higher price for it has a special mechanism to attach them. Two wings protrude from its lower end, curving toward the front of the ship. A blue line marks where most of the additional parts can be fixed on the wings that too can be exchanged for upgraded ones. In the sky it looks like an arrowhead flying backwards.
A weapon is installed at the very tip. It shoots fireballs, or what looks like fireballs anyway. In actually it is more difficult to explain. It is most simply explained as a contained charge of plasma or radioactive waste if upgraded, that upon touch fill any object with its energy. Given enough of this energy the object will either turn into a radioactive cloud of dust or explode into many tiny pieces. The complexity of the targets composition decides which one it is.
The ion thruster on the backside propels it slowly but in addition to the complex technology inside it, allows for accurate movements that aren't possible with any newer ships. It too can be upgraded to gain some speed. A light blue egg shaped windshield offers a good view of most of the ship. It has space enough for one seat only.
I jump in, fasten my seat belt and shoot into the sky wondering what will await me up there. Nothing could prepare me for the sight I am about to behold. Enormous apples of the size of my ship, old analog TV's, even guns many times bigger than they should be, a plethora of random gigantic objects are just floating around in space and hitting the atmosphere of the beautiful blue planet. But that is not all. They seem to change their shape and move in ways that cannot be explained by any science known to me. The apples specifically seem to be stuck in a time loop of some sort. Huge chunks are taken out of them by an invisible force and put right back as if being constantly eaten by an invisible creature. I fire all around it, but the fireballs just go right through the surrounding space so there seems to be nothing actively interacting with it. I take a shot at it, nothing happens at first.
It takes entire six shots before it explodes, something scientifically impossible. It should turn to dust after no more than two shots. Were I to collide with this apple, it would damage my protective shield as though I had just rammed a car at full speed. Just where does all this junk come from anyway? I notice the entirety of junk coming from the same direction, just slightly moving apart. Some of the smaller objects stick together forming dangerous clutters that must be avoided at all costs. I take a shot them and am rewarded by them splitting into smaller groups that I can easily annihilate with the firepower of my ship. But still it is too much junk to just zip past it all. I must worm my way through the narrow spaces in between objects and shoot my way through them where possible. Trying to find the source of all of this I realize just how long the stream of junk really is. It may very well come from the other side of the universe.
I have so many questions. Just who is responsible for all of this? Why has no one noticed a dump the size of mars floating in our direction? Why isn't the military, or anyone else up here cleaning this mess? Did the junk damage our communication systems? No matter, I must get to the bottom of this mess on my own. I am sergeant Slotte, Galaxy Janitor. No matter who is responsible for this mess, its my duty to fix it.
~At the same time~
She lays in her lawn chair when it happens. A huge blast in the vicinity wakes her from her nap. Shaken by the loud sound and the following vibrations she grabs her trusty old friend, the parasol that accompanies her at all times and looks around for any possible dangers. Nothing. A sizzling sound from the sky catches her attention. The sound grows louder as the flaming ball that illuminates the flower garden grows brighter until it comes down on it and explodes upon impact, turning a chunk of her beloved garden into nothing more than a pile of dirt and ashes in a crater. More sizzling sounds echo all around the garden now. Alarmed by the sudden rain of flaming balls she raises her parasol and fires off blast after blast, her sunflowers following suit shooting anything that comes close to the garden. It is pointless. Whatever causes this onslaught continues it endlessly. Her only choice is to find the source of it and destroy it.
She cannot fathom the ridiculousness that awaits her high up in the sky. Junk of all kinds and in all sizes, no, more than that even. They contradict any logic and reason. Apples the size of a house locked in time loops, dangerous chemicals that endlessly react to nothing, giant morning stars free falling, just what is going on here? At least she doesn't need to worry about lack of energy. Up here in space the sun constantly burns on her skin so she can blast away at any and everything threatening to come close to her garden. But it is futile. She can see no end to the stream of junk. The only way to stop it is to destroy the source after all. Preparing herself mentally to make the trip, no matter how far it may take her, she floats further up through the stream of junk. Her name is Kazami Yuuka, flower master of the four seasons. Junk has no place in her garden.
~Back to the protagonist~
It has been days since I headed off for the root of the surreal littering of our galaxy. No matter how much junk I shoot there is always more waiting for me. At the moment I can't even get behind the moon due to the enormous cluttering preventing me. I have to navigate slowly and oftentimes blast away to fly through some heavily cluttered spaces. But its not all bad. Just recently I have had the idea to make money by blasting off junk from the atmosphere. It seems that the constant rain of death on our beloved home doesn't sit well with the people that inhabit it. The pay for keeping the atmosphere clean from anything that won't instantly perish as soon as it enters it is quite high and I can upgrade the weapons system of this ship.
Now with the new added cannons that boost efficiency I can actually fly much faster as long as I avoid the bigger objects that still won't perish as easily. I keep shooting at the biggest piles of junk whenever necessary but they're hard to get. Most of the time I have to steer clear of them. One touch and the repairs of my ship will cost more than a new weapon. I can't afford it. Especially now that the prices are high as space janitors are buying them like crazy. This slows down my progress considerably. The worst part is that these new space janitors are mostly just teenagers trying to make a quick buck while showing off their skills or racing one another. They are a serious threat to anyone who still dares to enter space. Sometimes even more than the junk. Speaking of the devil..
As I maneuver around the pile of junk trying to find the source a peculiar ship is nearing mine. It is not the first time I see another person this far out in space but this one is driving like a maniac. Its model is the same as my own but in gray and its cockpit is bigger. Its also rather slim compared to the green one. Surely a more efficient version of the same ship but less of a collectible. The four yellow dots that replace the blue markings, telling me where to attach new parts confirm my my guess. Going by the crazy way it drives there must be a teenager inside. Or maybe a drunk guy. Either way it does some stunts narrowly avoiding dangerous objects like its nothing and even after hitting some of them doesn't stop. With no regard for its shield he continues his reckless show. I shake my head. I can see the person in his cockpit throw a scowl at me.
"Are you insane?!", I shout as the crazy pilot rams his vehicle right into his mine. It seems he has one of those extra durable shields, maybe a secondary battery for them. This guy is trying to kill me!
I avoid him narrowly crashing into some junk instead. That isn't ideal but it is enough to save my life for now. It looks like this crazy pilot is having fun. He attempts it again. My shield is already damaged. Another blow will definitely be the end of the ship. I steer away as much as possible but he corners me between a glowing meteorite and huge morning star. He comes closer and I push back watching the energy display. In a matter of seconds my shields go from 50 down to 10% and I brace myself for the end. Instead, just as I'm about to die, a bright light coming from my side engulfs the ship and much junk along with it. Seconds feel like hours and I continue watching the golden light that has turned my almost murderer into nothing more than radioactive particles. As soon as it stops I steer into the now empty space that he previously occupied. Apparently the most important part is not damaged as my shield is starting to regenerate, bit by bit. Now all that is left to do is stay clear of everything for a while, which is not hard since there is no garbage in a big radius.
I can't believe my eyes as a woman flies past me, parasol in hand as if she was talking a stroll through the park. She doesn't even notice me. I can't take my eyes off her. What a beautiful and at the same time deadly thing to find out here among all the rubbish. I don't want her to leave but my ship is in no condition to follow after her. As she flies past me and the veil is lifted I see two beautiful full moons rise. I realize that I was not just about to die. The beating of my heart tells me that I have never truly lived before this moment. I want to see her again.
Great. My ship is wrecked. The cost for repairs are sky high. The only thing I can do is to borrow another one and hope to make enough money to get some upgrades. I browse through the lenders selection of ships. One in particular catches my interest. The design is the same as my own but the wings are curved in the other direction. On top of them two extra canons looking like funnels are mounted already. Its a similar model to my ship. I take it out for a test flight during which I make quite some money. With this thing I can easily get in the money to repair and modify my own. This is the one I'll take.
Loaded with new weapons, even if just borrowed, I plunge into the garbage bin that our universe has turned into and blast the sky clear of anything abnormal. Finally I can make good use of the propulsion. Feeling quite bold I venture out in the direction of the source at a much faster speed that I thought possible catching up on what I have tried to do these past couple of days. There she is. The woman that saved my life is being pestered by another one of those lunatic drivers. I can see her frustration as the fireballs slowly eat up at her clothes. This is unacceptable. I drive closer to them and fire away at the insignificant fly that bothers my angel of death. Noticing the short pause in fire from her tormentor she turns around to see him gone and instead I replace it. She looks confused. I float closer to her slowly so that I can take a good look at her beautiful face. Our eyes meet.
I gesture for her to take a seat. She smiles warmly and sits on my right wing holding onto the rim with her hands and knees by pressing her thighs against its blade. We take off at a much faster speed than she can on her own. I maneuver around the junk as much as possible and she seems to find it quite entertaining. Sometimes when the junk seems to get thicker she blasts away at it with her parasol. Together we reach even faster speeds than I could hope to with the ships capabilities. If only this moment could last forever. We finally reach the source.
Despite her incredible firepower our path is blocked yet again. A great chasm floats in the sky. Inside that chasm many eyes the size of my ship stare back at us. It is a sight of nightmares. Two ribbons hold together this chasm on either end giving the entire thing the shape of an eye as well. In the middle of it stands a blonde woman in her purple dress, throwing around anything she can get her hands on. Why she would stands on top of a garbage hill connected to the middle of space and do that is beyond me. I take a shot at the chasm but nothing happens. My hits go straight through to the woman who just shrugs it off with a wave of her hand. The garbage now closes in on me. She has control of it and intends to crush me. I have no choice but to retreat. My beautiful companion however gets off my ship and confronts the blonde woman directly.
I can yet again not believe my eyes. A grand battle is taking place in front of me. Bullets, rays, junk and a whole lot of other inexplicable things shoot out of spontaneously opening and closing chasms like the one the blonde woman sits in. My companion avoids them skillfully and showers her opponent with her own barrage of bullets and beams. I am mesmerized. My Spaceship can never keep up with their breathtaking display of power.
It looks like we're losing. The littering is making it difficult for her to dodge her opponents shots and at the same time increases her risk of getting burned by stray chemicals. I join the fight now doing my best to clear the way of random dirt so she can focus on the fight more. The opponent seems to notice me as more chasms begin opening in my vicinity too. The unbelievable happens. Huge trains shoot out of these anomalies in space. One hit is all it would take to get rid of me but I can't afford to lose. I'm getting desperate as her assault keeps me from clearing the path for my beloved so I change my course. I can think only of one thing to do now. I take one last look at the beautiful woman that caught my eye. She holds out her hand to stop me. Her expression is genuine surprise. It makes me very happy that she would care enough about a stranger she has just met. The double propulsion bursts with maximum power as I crash right into the blonde before she can react to it. My ship is torn apart by the incredible toughness of her body, flying out into space in pieces. The vacuum pulls me out along with the air trapped within the cracked hull. A blinding flash from behind signals our victory over the egoistical creature.
In my last moments I can see her floating toward me. Eyesight is slowly leaving me but I can still feel the warmth of her embrace. For a moment I feel I am richer than a king and wish this moment would last an eternity. My spirit finally leaves my body. What happens next sends a shudder up my spine as though I was still in the flesh. I move to the side and back, up and down. Her red glowing eyes follow me. She pulls my ethereal head closer to hers until our lips touch. The eternity I have wished for is within my grasp and being the old fashioned romantic that I am I can't help but utter what my heart so desperately wants me to get across to my soulmate in anticipation of what is going to happen next. "Aww Yiss!"