"Why is she here?"
"2D and Lily are having a night away. I said I'd be overjoyed to keep my teensy chipmunk."
"Chipmunk." Murdoc grunted. "That's what you're going with?"
Kimberly smiled down at the baby in her arms and breathed in deeply. "Oh, that sweet baby smell. It seems a thousand years since Maris was this small."
Kimberly's phone buzzed and Murdoc handed it to her.
"Hello, Urdek," she answered. "What can I do for you?" She listened for a moment. "Yes, I should think so. Would you call them back and let them know I'm on my way, please? Thank you."
She rose and handed Matilda to Murdoc. "Here you go, Papa. I have an emergency."
He held the baby out at arms length. She started to squirm.
"My snake, we discussed this." She retrieved Matilda and settled her gently against Murdoc's shoulder, then placed his hand on her back. "Not difficult."
"Where are you going?"
"Montauk. I did an exorcism earlier today and the nasty little thing came back. The family is terrified." She grabbed her Gucci bag off the counter and came to kiss Murdoc goodbye. "There's a list of everything you need to know just there on the table. She needs a diaper and a bottle. Then you two can enjoy each other's company for a while."
"My sweet- Woman! I will not play nursery maid to that colossal knob's-"
Kimberly put her hand over his mouth. "Your issues with her father are not her issues," she said firmly. "You will speak of him with respect in her presence."
She took her hand away but Murdoc didn't say a word.
"My beast, you'll be fine. If there is an absolute emergency, call Bab." She kissed his cheek again and flew out the door.
Matilda complained a bit and Murdoc held her out again to look at her. "Change you, huh? What shall we change you into? A snail? No - he'd enjoy that too much."
He headed up the stairs to the room Maris had once occupied. It still contained the stuffed animals and pompoms, and certificates of excellence in this and that - but a crib and a dresser that doubled as a changing table had been added.
"She's giving you little forest animal names, eh? Skunk better not be next on the list."
He readied the fresh diaper and unsnapped Matilda's pants. "Right. Smart girl. Keep it simple." He changed her quickly and got her back on his shoulder. "Think my sweet persimmon said something about a bottle? Do you remember hearing that?"
Matilda's fussing was working its way into a hungry wail. Murdoc had the bottle ready in a couple minutes. He grabbed some cookies from the cupboard and a beer from the fridge. "This is more social, eh? Nobody likes to eat alone." He settled himself on the sofa with a grunt.
Matilda attacked her bottle, and Murdoc did the same with his.
A satisfying burp reminded him that she probably needed to do the same.
"Now, this doesn't have to get all gooey and sticky, you know. A simple belch will suffice." He patted the baby's back until she gave a hiccup. A little milk returned. "What did I just say?"
They finished the rest of their respective bottles and then he stood and walked her around a bit. "My pineapple says you like a change of scenery. She thinks I don't listen." He snorted. "Granted, I don't most of the time but I must have been bored that evening."
He walked Matilda around the living room, then said, "I know what - let's go down to the river. Not too chilly. We'll put your little jacket on you."
Matilda seemed happy enough to sit on his lap on the dock, watching the boats.
"When you're older, you can take a boat out and sail all the way to England. Then your father can go after you and I'll be rid of him."
He looked into Matilda's blue eyes. "No, you're right. I didn't really mean that." He patted her back by way of apology. "Guess you have your mum's eyes. Though I never actually saw your father's. Just the one. And didn't really see much of it before- You know, you're probably going to blame me for that some day, just because I did it. Trust me, he's better off. I made him a star."
Matilda blew a raspberry.
"Everyone's a critic."
They enjoyed the view for a while, then he stood carefully and headed back up to the house. "Should we watch some telly? My sweet rhubarb and I like to watch a doccy now and then. But no scotch for you. Have to wait till you're older before Nana can corrupt you."
The diaper related disaster he had been dreading occurred just as he was getting settled in. Matilda looked at him innocently.
"We discussed this earlier, did we not?" He sighed and went back up to Maris' room. "Huh. Getting later in the evening. S'pose we put you right in your jam-jams?" He pulled out a drawer. "Now, why do you need so many socks? You've only the two feet. I have two pair of socks. They take turns. Ah." The second drawer revealed what he wanted. "Look at this! Got little birds all over them. Not ravens, but they'll do. Let's get you into these."
Matilda wiggled her best, but Murdoc got her diaper changed and sleeper on. They went back downstairs.
"Let's check our list, shall we? Mmm- looks like another bottle coming your way. Think I'll do the same."
They snuggled on the sofa again, and Murdoc put on a nature program about bears. Matilda drank her milk and watched the bright pictures.
"Now see? That wasn't so bad was it? I know you were a bit concerned. Can't blame you. Not exactly Mary Poppins, but we got on." He laid the sleepy baby against his shoulder and rubbed her back. "But this is our secret, little skunk. Got it? You tell no one."
He never found out whether Matilda agreed or not. She had fallen asleep in his arms.