Tonks entered the pub, her eyes scanning the crowded room until she saw the person she was here to meet.
She had to admit that he blended in surprisingly well. When they'd first gotten this particular assignment, she'd privately wondered if there had been a mistake. Putting her on this mission, in this locale, made sense; she could change her appearance, after all, blend in where she needed to blend in, stand out where she needed to stand out. But her assigned partner...well, blending in perhaps wasn't the problem, considering the rather nondescript mix of greys and greens and beige he seemed to prefer in his sartorial choices, but blending into this place...she wasn't so sure. Granted, she didn't know him too well; she'd only spoken to him at a few meetings so far, nothing much more than words of greeting or farewell, and they'd both stuck around for an after-dinner drink with Sirius once or twice now. He seemed quiet, polite; not the type of person who'd be in a place like this, that's for sure.
Yet perhaps it did make sense, she mused as she made her way over to the table. Her sharp Auror eyes had slid over him once before finally noticing him; he looked surprisingly familiar with the place, if not completely at ease. He was surveying the room with a carefully practiced look of disinterest on his face, his fingers gently curled around a pint glass; he had chosen his table well, giving him a vantage point of practically the entire pub, while remaining somewhat shielded himself in the corner.
He arched an eyebrow as she slid into the seat across from him. "Wotcher," she said quietly. She was positive he hadn't recognized her; she'd morphed herself to look rather nondescript this evening, her hair shoulder-length and dirty blonde, face pale and plain.
"Hello," he replied just as quietly, giving her a small smile. He reached for his wand and cast a surreptitious muffliato charm, then pushed a glass full of foamy, amber liquid towards her across the splintery table.
"Sorry I'm late, got held up a bit at work."
"It's fine. I didn't know what you liked to drink, so I just got you a pint of the house lager; their selection here is a bit lacking, unfortunately. This is usually the safest bet." He took a sip from his own glass, wincing slightly. "Or they've swapped out the keg for a barrel of dishwater tonight. It's rather hard to tell."
She grinned, accepting the glass. "I'm sure I've had worse. That wine Snuffles unearthed from the basement the other night, for instance."
He huffed out a chuckle; she noticed the way his gaze continued to dart around the room periodically while they talked, his brown eyes more alert than the rest of his rather exhausted visage.
"Anything yet?"
He shook his head. "Alastor warned me this may be a wash," he told her in a low voice, murmuring over the lip of the glass he held to his mouth. "They might have changed locations. But we have to be thorough. We should stay here at least half an hour past the rumored meeting time, just to be certain. Perhaps longer. But we don't want to be here long enough to rouse any suspicion." He took another small sip of his beer, giving her a rather apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. You're an Auror, and you're quite familiar with Mad-Eye and his...erm...protocols. I'm certain you do not need me to explain this to you."
"Oh no, please. Protocols at work are certainly different than protocols - er - here, so I'm here to learn. Your resident rookie." She took a sip of her beer now, fighting the urge to gag; Remus was right, it was particularly horrific. They fell into a mildly awkward silence; Tonks realized that this was the first time she had ever been alone with the older wizard. Remus seemed nice enough, but she rather wished she were on this assignment with Hestia right now; the other witch was a riot to talk to, and though she had only met both of them recently, Tonks was sure already that she had far more in common with Hestia than with the man currently sitting across from her. Or perhaps a mission with Bill would be interesting; he'd only been at one of the meetings she'd attended so far, but she had to admit that the ponytail and earring hinted at the fact that Bill had a style rather resembling her own, and they'd had a great time discussing the Weird Sister's newest album together at dinner.
Thinking about it now, Tonks realized that she knew next to nothing about Remus. She knew that he and Sirius had been friends at Hogwarts, and that he had been in the first iteration of the Order, during the First War; though she had spent time talking to him and Sirius, she'd realized how practiced he was at deflecting anything he sensed might be a personal question and disguising this deflection as interest - genuine or feigned, she couldn't quite tell - in herself, and he now knew a fair amount more about her than she did about him, a fact which made her rather uncomfortable.
Yet, she was here now. And she figured there was no better time to try and warm up their acquaintanceship than now. "Wouldn't peg you as the type to be a regular patron of a place like this," she said conversationally. He frowned slightly now.
"You'd be surprised," he replied, giving her a tight-lipped smile before continuing to scan the room. She chewed the inside of her cheek; why did it feel as if that had been the wrong thing to say?
She reached out and gently touched his hand. "Sorry, I'm - I didn't mean to offend, I just -"
"No, it's fine," he said, a forced lightness to his tone now. "I've just had a fair amount of assignments here, is all." Tonks waited for him to elaborate; if anything, this made her even more confused, as she still felt rather strongly that Remus didn't quite belong here, with his quiet calmness and the worn out collar of a shirt peeking out underneath the neckline of a jumper that was only slightly rumpled. Much less rumpled than the majority of tonight's clientele, anyway.
He seemed to notice her bafflement, as his face softened and he gave her a small smile now. "How was work today?"
"Ergh, horrid," she groaned. "Paperwork all day. Might as well have been chained to my desk." She took a sip of her beer. "I've never asked you, by the way - what do you do?"
He stiffened again. "You're looking at it." When she gave him a questioning glance, he sighed. "I'm unemployed at the moment. But it means I'm available to give myself entirely over to our friends for these...outings and research opportunities, so I suppose it's convenient." Tonks had noticed that Remus seemed to have his hands full with Order work, and had wondered how he managed to balance it with a full-time job; she supposed that answered her question. But now she wondered why it was that he was unemployed; it looked as if he had been for awhile, judging by the state of his clothes; but for as little as she knew about him, he seemed to be an extremely intelligent man and a very talented wizard; his lack of a career rather shocked her.
"Tonks, do you read the Daily Prophet, by any chance?" he asked now, his voice casual.
Tonks shrugged, unsure of what this had to do with anything. "Not the past few years, no. I used to, but it's turned into a load of tosh as of late." She sighed. "I would say that I get more reliable briefings from work on the goings-on of the world, or what I need to know, anyway; but I suppose that hasn't been true for awhile now, either. I should likely pick up that old rag just to see what they are saying. I do like the crossword on occasion, though."
He gave her another smile now, friendlier than the last, though it didn't seem to reach his eyes completely. "I am rather fond of a good crossword, as well."
"I'll bring some for our next assignment together, then," she replied with a grin. He started to say something, but the grin fell from her face as he suddenly snapped his mouth shut, stiffening as his gaze darted towards the door.
"What? Do you see them?" she said urgently, her voice low. He gave her the smallest shake of his head.
"No. Not the group we're here for." He took another sip of his beer, seeming to draw this one out, as if he was trying to hide his face behind the glass. "Someone I know, though. Who may recognize me."
"What? Who -"
"I have to lift the muffling charm, it can't look as if we're..." Remus sounded as if he was mumbling to himself now, but suddenly Tonks heard footsteps coming up behind her, and Remus fell silent as a bulky man with choppy, disheveled black hair sidled up to their table. Tonks' teeth were immediately set on edge as the man smiled at them; something didn't feel quite right about him.
"Well, well, well. Remus Lupin. Didn't expect to see you here," the man said. Tonks tried to keep her face relatively blank as Remus smiled up at their visitor, his face clearly strained.
"Hello, Puck. It's been awhile."
"It certainly has been," the other man drawled. "Far too long, really. You know, I've wanted to say that I'm sorry to see your great experiment come to an end, mate." Tonks didn't know what experiment this man was referring to, and he didn't sound especially sorry; she did notice, however, that Remus' face had drained of all color.
"I don't know what you're referring to," Remus replied stiffly.
"You know," Puck continued, sneering, "trying to pretend you're one of them." Puck turned to Tonks now, eyeing her up and down in a way that made the hair on her arms stand up. "Pretty bird," he remarked casually, as if she weren't even there. "Better than the usual slags I've seen round these parts."
"Pardon, but what exactly makes me a slag?" she replied, giving the man the coldest smile she could muster, despite the angry flush she could feel rising in her cheeks.
"Well, what else would I call a human woman who's willing to spread her legs for a werewolf?"
Tonks felt her blood run cold. "What -?"
"It's not like that," Remus cut in quietly. She looked at him questioningly, her eyes meeting his for a split second before he quickly looked away, his cheeks flooding with color now.
"Remus, what - are you..." she trailed off uncertainly. Puck couldn't have possibly meant...Remus couldn't be...could he?
Puck looked back and forth between the two of them, a nasty grin spreading over his ruddy face. "You mean you haven't even told her? My, my, Lupin; you must really have given up on pretending to be a real wizard then, eh? Finally decided you're not better than the rest of us?" Remus was silent.
"But - wait, Remus, what -" Tonks was still staring at him, and he was still avoiding her gaze.
"I told you, it's not like that," Remus replied again through gritted teeth. "She's not -"
"Ah, well. Sorry if I spoiled your fun," Puck replied, clapping a heavy hand onto Remus' shoulder. "I'm off; I've got some pack business to attend to," he called over his shoulder, seeming to spit the word pack at Remus as he walked away from their table, as abruptly as he had come over to them.
Remus stared after Puck for a moment longer before finally turning to her, his face even more guarded than before. "Tonks, I'm sorry -"
"Why didn't you tell me?" Tonks hissed immediately as soon as she was certain that the other man was out of earshot. "So you are, aren't you? A werewolf?"
"I - I thought you knew, but then it became clear you didn't, and I - I was trying to figure out how to tell you, I -"
"You don't think that's something I should have known?" she asked angrily.
"I thought you knew, Tonks, nearly everyone does -"
"Everyone except for your assignment partner, you mean?" she replied through gritted teeth. "I guess I'm just the stupid one who's not in on the secret, then?"
Remus avoided her gaze now, a flush spreading across his cheeks. "I - it wasn't ever my intention to deceive you, Tonks, I just - that's why I was asking if you read the Prophet, before. My name was in the news awhile ago, when I left Hogwarts -"
"Wait. You're the werewolf Hogwarts professor?" She saw a flash of hurt cross his face, and she immediately regretted her choice of words. Her anger at having been left in the dark started to fade almost as quickly as it had appeared.
"Yes, I was the werewolf Hogwarts professor. Well, I still am the werewolf, no longer the professor, obviously," he replied rather bitterly.
She winced. "Sorry, I didn't mean...I was just surprised, I didn't think..."
"Didn't think I look like what you'd imagine a werewolf to look like?" he responded quietly.
She felt embarrassment bloom deep in the pit of her stomach. "I...I mean...no, I suppose not," she admitted. "Sorry, I know that's stupid and prejudiced to say, I just..."
He gave her a rather sad smile. "Perfectly understandable, given your line of work. I apologize for not telling you. You'll understand that it's not a conversation topic I'm overly fond of."
"No, of course, I just -"
He made a gentle shushing noise just then, and she glared at him, outraged; but he slowly inclined his head towards her, giving her a slightly apologetic look, and she realized that his eyes had flickered towards something over her left shoulder. "Our friends are here," he said quietly.
The men they had shown up to watch took a seat at a table near enough to catch their conversation rather easily, and Tonks was grateful to concentrate on the task at hand for some time now.
Their group only stayed for a round of drinks or so; it seemed to be a meeting more for pleasure than for business, but there were some allusions to potential new meeting locations that Tonks picked up on. Soon after the group had left the pub, Remus laid a few galleons down on the table, then stood up as he pulled his cloak on. She followed suit, and they walked out of the pub together in silence until they reached their agreed upon apparition point. Tonks had been trying to figure out what to say to her colleague, but then Remus spoke first.
"You don't need to worry about the report, Tonks, I will write it up when I get back to headquarters."
"Do you need help?"
"No, you have work tomorrow; you should head home and rest, I'm sure you're exhausted. It's been a long day. And the write up will be a simple one, it won't take me much time. Do not worry about it." He gave her a tight smile. "I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow evening. Goodnight, Tonks." Then before she could even respond, he had turned on his heel and disappeared with a crack.
Back in her flat, Tonks tossed and turned in her bed for several minutes, replaying moments of their earlier conversation in her mind. While still rather hurt that Remus hadn't let her in on this rather major aspect of his life, and annoyed with herself for not noticing, any residual awkwardness she felt from their evening together was quickly being overtaken with a burning feeling of shame. And so she found herself letting herself quietly into Grimmauld Place and heading down to the kitchen when she saw the light filtering up the stairs and into the dingy entryway, only to be greeted by a very surprised Sirius cleaning up his dinner dishes before turning in for the night.
"Tonks! What are you doing here? Not that I'm not glad to see you, but it's nearly one in the -"
"Where's Remus?" she replied abruptly. "I need to talk to him."
Sirius' eyebrows shot up. "Right now?"
"Is he asleep?"
"No, no; I think he's in the library, said he had to write up a report from the assignment he was on with you this evening. How did that go, by the way?"
"Did he say anything when he got back?"
Sirius frowned now. "What do you mean?"
"Did he - just, did he say anything specific?"
"He didn't say much about it at all, to be honest," Sirius replied, still gazing at her curiously. "What's all this about now, Tonks?"
She deposited herself in a chair with a huff, feeling rather like a petulant child. However, some of her earlier anger had started to flare up again. "Why didn't either of you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"That Remus is a werewolf."
A look of comprehension slowly dawned on Sirius' face. "Ah. Well, it's not really my business to tell, is it?" His expression darkened now. "And is that a problem? For you, I mean."
"No, it's not," she replied firmly. "Well - I mean, now I know it's not - I just was caught off guard, and...look, I didn't handle it well, alright?"
Sirius gave her an appraising look, and she felt her shame deepen. "He's in the library," he finally told her. "I'm off to bed, don't say anything stupid."
"Too late for that," she sighed. "Thanks, Sirius. I'm - I'm just here to apologize to him." She found Sirius' overprotectiveness of his friend rather touching, and though she wanted to be annoyed at his snippiness, she knew that she deserved it.
Her cousin's face softened as he headed for the kitchen door now. "That's good of you. Most people don't, you know. Good night, Tonks. Be careful of my mother when you leave."
Sighing, Tonks made her way up the stairs as quietly as possible. On the landing, the door to the library was ajar, a slightly muted light from the fireplace within flickering dimly over the musty carpet; she slowly pushed the door open.
Remus was sitting at the desk across the room, his back slightly turned to her; he didn't seem to notice the door opening. She paused for a moment to gather her nerve, and to take a second to observe him. Seeing him now, she realized she had not yet seen the man without his guard down in any way at all. She wondered if he let it down around anyone, or if he only truly relaxed when he was alone. He'd unbuttoned the collar of his shirt and rolled his sleeves to his elbows; his chin rested in his right hand, while his left held a quill, absentmindedly tapping it against the parchment laid out on the desk before him. He looked tired in the firelight; rubbing a hand across his eyes, he let out a weary sigh.
Knowing that he hadn't yet sensed her presence, Tonks knocked lightly on the doorframe. He jumped violently, swearing as his elbow upset a bottle of ink.
Tonks winced. "Wotcher, Remus. Sorry."
"Tonks! Is everything alright?"
"Oh, I'm fine. I'm sorry to startle you."
"Not a worry. I'm surprised I didn't hear you come in." He reached for his wand and quickly cleared the spilled ink, absent-mindedly brushing the front of his shirt and clearing his throat in a rather embarrassed fashion now. "Erm - sorry, I didn't mean that as a - I didn't mean that I'd expect you to be loud, it's just..."
She laughed. "Don't worry, you're as surprised as I am by my stealthy entrance. What are you doing? Are you still working on that report? I wouldn't have gone home so quickly if I knew it would take so long. I would have helped."
"Oh, no; I finished that awhile ago," he replied, giving gesturing rather dismissively to a tightly bound scroll of parchment on top of a small pile of books haphazardly stacked on the corner of the large desk. "Just going through some help wanted adverts, is all." Now Tonks noticed the small stack of Daily Prophets next to him, a pile of neatly clipped ads next to it.
"What kind of jobs are they?"
"Anything, really. Mostly part-time gigs; there are occasionally some research and writing sorts that I have a slightly better chance of getting, but I apply to some in the shops, too. Though chances are slim to none that they'd want a known werewolf stocking their shelves, even after-hours, so those are likely a waste of time." Tonks felt a fresh surge of guilt now. "I never hear back, of course," Remus continued bitterly, "but applying to something makes it feel as if I haven't completely given up, at least."
"That's understandable," Tonks said quietly. "You know, I pass a postings board on my way to work, and I can...I could check there every once in awhile to see what's pinned, if you'd like. See if there's anything with potential there. All wizarding stuff. Lots of weird odd jobs."
He waved off her suggestion of help with a vague, mumbled 'thank you,' seemingly embarrassed now as he abruptly changed the subject. "What brings you here, Tonks? I thought you'd gone home."
"No, I - well yes, I did." She realized she was still leaning against the doorframe; she entered the room fully now and shut the door behind her, grabbing a nearby chair and dragging it closer to him before straddling it with a sigh. "I came back because I wanted to...I wanted to apologize." Remus simply looked at her, his brow furrowing slightly, so she took a deep breath and continued. "Earlier, when we were in the pub, and I - the way I reacted when you...when I found out about your...lycanthropy. It was out of order, and for that I sincerely apologize."
Remus looked slightly confused now. "No need to apologize, Tonks. I am sorry for not telling you sooner, I should have -"
"Nah, you shouldn't have done anything," she said, waving off his apology. "I was an arsehole, honestly, and I really am sorry. I didn't...look, what you said before, about me not realizing you were a werewolf because you weren't...you weren't what I'd expect. You were completely right. I've dealt with werewolves at my job before, obviously, and I just..." She sighed, scrubbing her face with a hand. "Fuck, I feel like such an arsehole. You're right, I just had these preconceived notions and it was fucked up and I realize it now and I just couldn't go to sleep without you knowing that I'm sorry."
Remus sat quietly for a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully before speaking. "Thank you, Tonks. I could understand your anger and your surprise, and I didn't fault you at all, honestly. But...I will not deny that it never quite gets less hurtful. Seeing people's reactions to what I am, I mean. But you...not many people apologize for it, and so I...appreciate your words. Truly." He gave her a rather sad smile now. "And if you're uncomfortable being paired with me for missions where we would be alone together, I can -"
"No!" she said forcefully; Remus looked taken aback. "No, that's not at all what I - I don't want that. I just - I mean, yeah, I'm not proud of how I acted earlier. But honestly, the rest of the night tonight, I felt safe with you and you're obviously such a talented and intelligent wizard and I think I could learn a lot from you for Order work and I just...I'd like to keep working with you, and I don't want my idiocy to jeopardize that. If you'd be okay with it as well, of course."
He sighed, rolling his quill between his fingertips now as he looked back down at the desk. "But does it bother you?" he asked her quietly. "Be honest. No need to spare my feelings, I've heard the worst of it. If we are to continue working together, there's a high chance we will get paired together for more missions like tonight's, and if that's the case, I want to ensure that you truly are not uncomfortable being around me."
She thought about it for a moment - really, truly thought about it. "No, it doesn't bother me," she finally replied. "It's like - you're sick, right? You have an illness."
"Well, yes," he said slowly. "An illness that means I could potentially kill you. Or condemn you to a life of prejudice and poverty and chronic pain."
"I mean, you're not a werewolf at this given moment, so -"
His face screwed up slightly, and Tonks felt her cheeks warm. "I'm always a werewolf," he said shortly. "No matter how much I wish it to be otherwise."
"I - sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just mean - well, you're not going to kill me right now, are you?" she said exasperatedly. "I know it's - it's like a chronic condition, right? But right now, I mean - I'm looking at you, and I'm seeing a man. The same man I was talking to before I knew what - before I knew about your condition." She gave him a small smile now. "I'm sure I'll continue to trip up and say stupid things, but I want you to correct me if I do, alright? I want to learn."
"Alright," he replied warily, still looking rather shocked. "But are you certain it doesn't -"
"Does it bother you I'm a Metamorphmagus?"
"Of course not," he replied, affronted. "Why would that -"
"Do you know how many people distrust us? That's actually part of the reason I lashed out earlier. This is not an excuse," she added hurriedly, "and part of it is just that you didn't seem like the type to judge me based on that. But I can get a bit defensive if I think my loyalties or my trustworthiness are being called into question, is all."
"I can relate," he told her with a small smile. "But Metamorphmagi...it's not like you're - you're dangerous or -"
"Yeah, but we may never have the same face twice. Do you really think that puts people at ease?" She laid a hand on his arm now. "Anyway, I'm just saying - as one shapeshifter to another..." He let out a surprised laugh, and she felt herself smiling. "I think we work well together, and I'd like to continue that. If you can forgive my asshattery from earlier. Friends?" She held out her hand to him now.
He grasped her hand, shaking it firmly and giving her a warm if not slightly bemused smile. "Friends. Nothing to forgive."
"Now that that's sorted," she said, stifling a yawn, "I should let you get back to your work."
"No, I think I should head to bed; I did not realize just how late it was," Remus replied, glancing down at his wristwatch with a quiet groan. "And you should get to bed, as well; do you feel comfortable getting back to your flat alone? I can apparate with you, or if you'd prefer to just stay here, I'm sure there's a spare room here that we can -"
"No, no, it's fine," she replied. "At this hour no one's around, I can apparate straight from the square. Thank you, though, that's kind of you to offer. I may need someone to ensure I don't wake Sirius' mother in my exit, however."
"That would indeed be a disaster," he said, chuckling. "I'll walk you to the door, then."
As the weeks went on, Tonks was glad that she had gone that night to apologize to Remus; not only because he was right in that they had been paired together for many more missions of the sort they had first spent together, but because he turned out to be an all-around pleasant person to spend time with. Tonks still felt rather uncomfortable for a short while after their first mission, extra wary of accidentally insulting him; however, the more time she spent with him, the more she sensed that he was starting to loosen up in her presence, revealing a side of him she had only really seen hints of when he'd interact with Sirius.
Arriving one night for a meeting, she was resetting the wards on the front door when she ran into Remus coming down the stairs. "Smells amazing in here; wonder what Molly's making tonight. Shepherd's pie? I know Sirius had requested it after the last meeting."
"Cottage pie, actually. Easy mistake to make," Remus replied as he helped her shrug her cloak off. "Cottage pie is -"
"I know the difference," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "But how did you...can you...smell the difference? Between the meats? Is that...a - erm - is that a werewolf thing?"
"Yes, it is."
"Really?"
"No." He sniggered as she whacked his arm. "I was chatting with Molly in the kitchen earlier and she told me what was for supper."
"Now I feel like an arse!"
"No need to. I actually do have a heightened sense of smell around the full moon, it's just a bit too early in the cycle for that just now."
"Really?"
"No."
"Remus!" She smacked his arm again, though she found herself laughing as they started to make their way down to the kitchen together. "You're an arse. Tell Sirius I want to switch seats with him, I don't want to sit next to you at the meeting anymore."
"Afraid I'll be smelling you the whole time? I was lying, by the way. My sense of smell does get slightly heightened around the full moon, but only very slightly. Not worth noting, really."
"Ugh. You're horrible."
He continued to make remarks and jokes about his condition here and there, and Tonks started to suspect it was because he wanted her to feel more at ease around him. And for that, she was glad; he was surprisingly easy to talk to, and the more she got to know him, the more she genuinely looked forward to being in his company, on official Order business or not.
The two of them continued to be paired for missions together; at the Department of Mysteries, watches outside of Death Eater houses, and plenty of scouting out dingy pubs favored by Death Eater informants. Moody had made an offhand remark once that he preferred sending her and Remus off to the pub assignments together because they could pass for a normal couple; she suspected this embarrassed Remus quite a bit, but she didn't really mind. As they sat in their booth in yet another pub in yet another small village somewhere outside London to track a particularly active yet clumsy informant, and as they casually sipped their drinks and chatted conversationally while glancing around the room all the while, she tried to picture sitting here and doing this with another Order member and found herself oddly put off by the idea.
"Come sit next to me, Remus."
"Pardon?"
"Considering we're rather wedged in this corner, it'll be better to have two sets of eyes on the entire room."
"But -"
"No one will think it odd for a supposed couple to be sharing one side of the booth. A bit sappy, perhaps, but not odd. C'mere."
He rolled his eyes, but stood up from his side of the booth and came around to slide in next to her. Taking a sip of his drink, he made a vague noise of assent. "The view is indeed better."
"Told you. See, I'm picking up on some of this spy stuff," she replied in a low voice, giving him a wink. The smile dropped from her face as he stiffened, however. "What is it? Is it Knowles?"
"No," he replied quietly. "The man who just came in is a - ah, fuck." He ducked his head suddenly, resting his forehead in his hand. She hoped it wasn't as obvious to everyone else as it was to her that Remus was trying to hide his face. He sighed wearily. "Merlin, they've really been wandering back to the pubs more recently."
"What? What is it?" she asked urgently. "Is he a werewolf?"
"Yes, and he's looking right over here," he replied, pushing his drink away from him hastily. "He might recognize me, and he's not - he's a known Death Eater sympathizer, he'll know why we're here -" He suddenly made to stand up, but Tonks grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back down.
"If he's looking this way, you standing up is a sure way to grab his attention," she hissed. "You're not exactly short enough to fly under the radar, you know." She saw the man Remus had been talking about; short and stocky with a rather weathered face and greasy blonde hair framing his face, he was indeed scanning the room with alert, wary eyes as if trying to identify any potential threats before he made his way over to the bar.
"Yes, but Tonks - if he sees me, you understand, we'll be -"
"I have an idea," she interrupted. "I'm sorry in advance, I know this is weird, but just - bear with me, okay?" She set her own drink down, then turned to face him, hauling one of her legs up from underneath the table and throwing it across his lap. He jumped so violently it would have been comical if her heart wasn't in her throat.
"Tonks, what -"
"I said I was sorry, but just play along. He's looking right this way, isn't he?"
"Erm - yes -" His eyebrows shot up as she grasped his shoulders firmly, sliding into his lap until he was straddling him on the bench they were sitting on.
"And now your face will be blocked from view, yes?"
"Erm - yes, but Tonks - doesn't this - I mean, won't this draw more -"
"I counted approximately four other couples in this shithole doing the same exact thing. We'll blend right in." She knocked her elbow on the table, nearly losing her balance until Remus' hands flew up to her waist. He was still staring at her with wide eyes.
"Right - right," he stammered.
"Is he still looking this way?"
Remus maneuvered to peer over her shoulder, squirming slightly as he did so. "Yes. He is," he replied tersely.
"Probably because we're in a rather strange position to be in if we're just talking and he can tell it's strange. I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"
"What?"
"I know, I said I was sorry - just - play along till he looks away and we can leave, alright? Okay?" She waited for him to nod his assent, and then she took his face between her hands and hurriedly pressed her lips to his.
Remus let out a small noise of surprise as their mouths met; she was afraid that he would continue to sit so stiffly and make her feel even more awkward than she already did about what she was doing. He suddenly relaxed, however, as if his brain had finally caught up to what they were trying to do - which was simply to maintain their cover, she reminded herself.
She could still sense the other werewolf's eyes on them; however, she felt her brain's focus slipping to far less productive thoughts as Remus began kissing her back.
Remus smelled nice, like soap and the vaguest, almost imperceptible hint of tobacco; his lips parted hesitantly, and Tonks felt herself sigh into the kiss. Her tongue found his, as she pressed herself more firmly against him; he tasted like juniper and the slightest tang of citrus from the lime he'd dropped in his drink. She let her fingers trail across his cheek, slightly scratchy with stubble; down his neck, down to the collar of his worn shirt; she could feel the warmth of his body radiating through the thin material. She shifted in his lap, and as his hips gave a small, involuntary jerk, she found herself nearly forgetting about the paranoid werewolf in the doorway.
They should probably stop - she knew they should stop - but now one of his hands was in her hair, the other gripping her hip roughly, his fingertips digging into the exposed skin above her waistband as he pulled her closer. Her thoughts racing, she rolled her hips into his again; and he bucked up against her and oh god this kiss is bloody amazing why is it so amazing and she could feel that his cock was hard and now she wanted him on top of her and she wanted his cock inside her and where did that thought come from but she knows they should -
"We should stop," he finally gasped quietly, tearing his lips from hers.
"Is he - is he gone?" she managed, feeling as if she'd crashed back to reality. Her heart continued to pound as Remus trailed his way down her throat now with soft, open-mouthed kisses; logically, she knew that he was continuing to hide his face as he tried to glance around the pub. Illogically, she wondered if he could feel her pulse pounding beneath his lips. He murmured a quiet yes against her throat, and a low moan managed to escape her lungs at the warm wetness of his tongue darting against her skin for the briefest of moments as he did so. It would be hard to mistake that noise which just came from her lips as anything other than genuine arousal and her mortification at this fact finally spurred her to slide off his lap.
Tonks was only slightly comforted by the fact that Remus looked just about as ruffled and dazed as she felt. "Sorry I took you by surprise with that," she finally managed. "I - erm - I know it was rather unorthodox, it's just..."
"No need to apologize. That's a favored move of Mad-Eye's, so I'm rather used to it."
She gaped at him for a moment, watching as the corner of his mouth twitched while he held back a smile. "Oh, you git -" He laughed now, and she felt the tension leave her shoulders as she joined him.
"It's okay, Tonks. That was quick thinking. And it worked." He cleared his throat, his face flushed. "Sorry if - um, if you..."
"No apologies necessary," she hurriedly assured him. He'd crossed his legs under the table after she slid back to her own seat, quickly pulling the hem of his jumper down further over his lap, and she could tell that he was mortified by the fact that she'd felt his arousal during the encounter. It doesn't mean anything, she reminded herself. You practically jumped the man, it's a natural reaction. She covered his hand with hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze; he returned her smile with a tight-lipped one of his own. "Again, my fault. That was...a lot, I know." She bumped his knee with his, giving him a grin that she hoped was comforting. "I hope for your sake that Mad-Eye doesn't use quite as much tongue, though. Though I'm not sure my ego could take it if you told me that he's a better kisser than I am."
He gave a rather surprised laugh. "I would much rather kiss you than Mad-Eye any day, believe me." His cheeks flushed again, and he quickly turned his face away from hers, pretending to glance around the room to ensure they were still clear; Tonks had a feeling he had not meant to say that.
They didn't address the kiss after that night. Things returned to the way they had been between them; friendly, light, easy. Tonks was somehow both relieved and disappointed; for while she couldn't stop thinking about the way he'd kissed her back, thinking about the way he smelled and tasted and the feeling of his tongue in her mouth, she also remembered the brief moment of terror she'd felt when she realized she might have permanently altered their burgeoning friendship with her rash decision to use a public snog as a cover. She tried to remember the feeling of this terror whenever she found herself fantasizing about what it would be like to kiss Remus again, to do more than kiss him; thoughts which had started to fill her head with rather alarming frequency.
Some while later, they found themselves in yet another pub. This time, it was purely for pleasure; they'd been staking out what was supposed to be a low-level Death Eater meeting in a run-down shack somewhere in northern England; when they'd received the patronus from Hestia that their information was a bust and that they were relieved of the rest of their watch, Tonks had suggested they nip to the pub in the nearby village they had apparated into. Remus had been looking particularly forlorn recently, and Tonks wondered if she couldn't cheer him up.
They were two drinks in; after the second one, Remus had thankfully stopped his constant (rebuffed) promises to repay her, and when she offered to go get their third round, he'd rather good-naturedly assented. She was at the bar, waiting for the barman when she heard a familiar voice call her name.
"Tonks?"
She whirled around to see a tall, blonde wizard making his way over to her, a broad grin on his face. She felt her face break out in an equally enthusiastic grin after a moment of stunned surprise. "Thomas? Blimey, is that really you?"
As soon as he reached her position at the bar, she threw her arms around his neck, giving him a tight squeeze before pulling back to appraise the man, glaring at him accusingly. "Thomas Jorgensen! What on earth are you doing here? How long have you been - I thought you went back home to the States!"
Thomas returned her hug, still grinning widely at her. "I did for a visit, but then decided to come back; just because I decided to drop out of the Auror program didn't mean I needed to flee the country permanently," he teased.
She rolled his eyes. "Could have let me know you were still on the same continent as me, mate."
He chuckled. "Well, now you know. I couldn't believe it when I saw that pink mop making it's way through the crowd in here, Tonks; what are the odds! What're you having, by the way?" he asked, waving over the barman.
"Oh - erm, a Firewhiskey. And a gin and tonic for my friend." She gestured back at Remus, and a small smirk dawned on Thomas' face as he followed her line of sight.
"Into older men now, I see, Tonks?"
"He's not - he's my friend," she replied firmly. "And he's not that much older, by the way -"
"One Firewhiskey for my friend here, and a G&T for her gentleman friend," Thomas told the barman as he finally reached them, laying a hand on Tonks' when she went to fish some galleonsfrom her pocket. "On the house."
"What -?"
"Who do you think owns this pub?"
"No shit. Seriously?"
"Seriously," he replied with another grin. "I actually have to run, I'm so sorry. One of our dishwashers is out so I'm needed in the back right now - but if you and your boyfriend want any more drinks while you're here, or if you ever come here another time, just tell them you know me. Please don't pay for anything while you're here."
"He's not my -" she broke off with an eyeroll as Thomas chuckled. "Whatever. Thanks for the drinks, Thomas." She leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek, taking the drinks the barman handed her now. "Can we catch up sometime? Now that I know you're alive and still in the UK? It really was so nice to see you."
"For sure, Tonks. See you around!" And with that, Thomas disappeared behind a swinging door beyond the bar, and Tonks made her way back Remus with their drinks.
Remus was stirring the watery remnants of his previous drink with a straw as she slid into her side of the booth.
"Wotcher, Remus. Sorry it took so long, I actually ran into someone."
"Not a problem, Tonks. Who was that, anyway?" he asked casually. Far too casually. Tonks arched an eyebrow.
"Old mate from Auror training, but he ended up dropping out and we sort of fell out of touch after that. Name's Thomas." She took a sip of her whiskey now, a sudden thought inspiring her. She hadn't been planning on sharing this particular bit of info with Remus, but if she wasn't mistaken, he seemed almost...jealous. The thought of Remus jealous intrigued her far more than she would like to admit. "We had a brief fling, but we broke that off when he left training too. Nothing serious, just sleeping together on occasion to let off some steam."
Color flooded Remus' cheeks now, and she almost felt embarrassed at oversharing until he spoke again. "I don't blame you," he replied, switching over to stirring his new drink with the straw now. "He's a good looking fellow."
Again, the forced casualness of his tone gave away what Tonks was sure he was struggling to keep hidden. He was jealous. But that could only mean...
Perhaps she wasn't the only one who hadn't been able to stop thinking about their kiss. Perhaps she wasn't imagining the fact that all of their encounters had seemed to become slightly flirtier over the past couple of weeks, friendly and familiar but always heavy with some sort of tension.
"Mmm, I suppose," she continued now. She knew had to choose her words carefully. She was still afraid of scaring him off, but she couldn't quite quell the temptation of seeing exactly what would happen if she turned up the dial on her flirting a bit. "He was a good friend. Not really my type, though."
"Oh?"
"American lad," she continued. "Nice man, funny as hell, to be sure. But I'm become rather more fond of Welsh accents, myself."
There was a small clink as the straw Remus had been toying with dropped back into his drink, splashing gin onto the tabletop. "Erm - oh."
"He's a year under me, too. I think I generally prefer older men, myself." She would have almost felt guilty at continuing in this manner if watching Remus' eyes widen and his cheeks flush didn't give her stomach such a pleasurable squirm.
Remus glanced up now, looking her directly in the eyes. She saw it, now; she was right. She wasn't the only one who had been thinking about it. Her breath nearly caught in her throat at the way he was looking at her.
"Tonks...?"
"What do you say we get out of here?" she asked boldly. They stared at each other only for a moment longer, then they were both scrambling to get out of their seats. "We can't go back to my flat, my flatmate is around and she'll -"
"I don't know if we can go back to headquarters either, Snuffles will be around and -"
"Doesn't matter, we'll figure it out," Tonks said hastily.
They walked quickly out of the pub, heading down the block to the alley they'd used to apparate. As soon as they'd stepped into the alley, Tonks grabbed Remus by the arm and pulled him closer, until his body was nearly pressed against hers. "This is probably a bad idea, but can I kiss you again?"
"This is a bad idea," he agreed, and then he kissed her.
There was none of the hesitancy on his part that there had been the first time they'd kissed; he pressed her up against the brick wall behind them, his hands finding their way into her hair and then down her back in order to press between her shoulder blades and pull her more firmly against him. He started kissing his way down her neck; her knees nearly buckled when his tongue found a particularly sensitive spot under her jawline. "I've been thinking about this since that night I kissed you when we were undercover," she managed. She thought she felt him smile against her skin.
"Really?"
"Yes, really. That's the best first kiss I've had in a long while, even if it was technically fake," she replied. He pulled back now, looking her directly in the eyes; she slid her hands down his front, her fingers coming to rest on his belt buckle, and she watched his Adam's apple bob as she did so.
"Nothing fake about this," he said softly.
"No," she agreed. "Nothing fake about this. Or...or about the first kiss either, really. I want you. I want you to fuck me."
His eyes darkened at this. "I...Tonks, are you sure? You won't be able to take this back. I just mean - because of what I am, you won't be able to -"
"I don't give a shit," she replied, starting to undo his belt buckle. He placed both hands against the wall behind her now on either side of her head, his eyes closing and a groan escaping his lips as she slid her hand into his pants. "Fuck me hard enough and I won't want to take anything back at all."
"Fuck," he grunted as she gave him a squeeze. "Right - right here?" Yet even as he said this, his hand had found its way up her skirt - Tonks thanked Merlin that today had happened to be one of her 'dress completely impracticably for field work' days - and she was sure that he could feel how wet she was through her knickers.
"We already established that my flat and headquarters are both rather out of the question, and to be honest, I don't know if I'm in any state to apparate right now," she breathed, her head falling back against the wall as his fingers continued to tease her through her knickers. "No one's around, everyone in this town is either asleep or back in that pub and we're far enough back from the street. I - fuck, Remus - I want you inside me."
He groaned against her hair. "Tonks - are you - are you sure?"
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. It's just - are you sure that - I mean, I'm not - when I saw you talking to Thomas, I thought -"
"Remus, I want you. I'm very sure of it. Whose cock am I begging for right now?"
"Fuck," he muttered, finally reaching down to finish undoing his belt. "I - this is still probably a bad idea -"
"Definitely a bad idea, but I don't particularly care at the moment. I'm on the potion, by the way, so nothing more to worry about right now. Now shut up and fuck me."
In one fluid motion, Remus reached down to pull one of her legs up, keeping it hooked over his arm while he pulled her knickers aside with his other hand, positioning himself at her entrance. "Okay?"
"Yes, please just - oh." Tonks broke off in a moan as he finally pushed himself inside her. He gave her a moment to adjust, bringing the hand that wasn't propping her leg up to the back of her head, threading his fingers through her hair so that her head wouldn't bump against the wall. "Fuck, that feels good."
"Okay?" he murmured again, starting to move slowly now. Tonks wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling on his hair as he slowly, maddeningly slid in and out of her.
"Faster. Faster."
"Faster?" He immediately complied, snapping his hips at a far quicker pace now. Tonks was barely aware of the cool, rough brick wall behind her as he pumped into her even harder, his fingertips digging into her thigh. "Fuck, Tonks." His fingers tightened in her hair, a groan vibrating low in his chest as Tonks brushed quick, messy kisses across the skin of his throat.
"Your cock feels so good, Remus, I've been thinking about this for so long, you know that?" she murmured. "Mmm, that's - ooh -"
He'd shifted slightly, pulling her leg slightly higher and angling his hips in such a way that the skin of his abdomen that had been bared by his untucked shirt ground against her clit with each upward thrust. "Does - does that feel good for you?" he panted.
"I'm going to come if you keep fucking me like this, oh my god - I'll kill you if you stop now, Remus - yes yes yes yes -" she broke off into a wordless cry as she felt her orgasm overtake her. Remus finally slowed his pace and stilled inside her, pressing his mouth against hers in a sloppy kiss and swallowing her moans as she clenched around him. His grip on her leg tightened as the leg she was standing on wobbled slightly, and he pressed himself even deeper into her, pinning her firmly against the wall as she came down, her breathing heavy. "God. I don't remember the last time I came so fast," she murmured against his lips, nipping his bottom one lightly. "Good job, you."
"I'm not - usually the best at this -" he groaned. She could tell it was taking considerable effort for him to remain still while he was buried inside her. "Especially in alleyways, I -"
"How many lucky witches have you shagged in alleyways, then?" she asked. He chuckled, and her answering laugh turned into a groan as he resumed his thrusting, albeit with a slower and more purposeful pace this time. "Doesn't matter now; keep going, Remus, I want you to keep going until you come. Harder, Remus, fuck me harder - fuck me like you were before -"
"Fuck, Tonks. I..." his breathing was becoming more erratic as his hips bucked against hers, faster and slightly less rhythmic now. She pressed her lips to his throat, dragging her tongue along the warm skin there as he continued to fuck her against the wall. He pressed even deeper into her, and she wound her fingers tightly into his hair to kiss him as he came, moaning against her lips.
After several moments, he pulled out of her, gently releasing her leg and zipping up his trousers while still keeping one steadying hand on her hip so she could safely straighten her skirt. Her heart was still pounding, and though she knew she should be ashamed she just had a man who was essentially her colleague fuck her up against an alley wall, all she could think about was the way his hands felt on her body, the way he had moaned her name, the wet trickle of his come between her thighs.
Remus ran a hand through his hair, only succeeding in making it look even more tousled than she had left it; he gave her a disbelieving look, before letting out what she thought sounded like a rather nervous chuckle. "Fuck."
"Fuck is right," she replied, giving him a toothy grin. He rolled his eyes, but she was rewarded with a small laugh.
"That was...we probably should have found a room," he continued; even in the rather dim lighting of the alley, she could tell that he was blushing rather fiercely.
"Likely should have, but still, you'll find no complaints here." She bit her lip as he continued to gaze at her. "That was probably a spectacularly bad idea, wasn't it?"
"Frighteningly bad."
"Definitely shouldn't happen again."
"Certainly not."
"It was...very good, though."
"Very, very good."
"Right." She swallowed. "Well, perhaps we should head back to headquarters, then. And then I'll...I'll head home." Do you want to come with me? She knew it would be foolish to even think about verbalizing the question.
"Right. I can - I can make sure you get home, if you'd like." He cleared his throat. "I mean - not like that, just - really, just making sure you get to your flat. And then I'll...get back to headquarters. Keep Snuffles company."
"Of course."
"Okay." He let out a breath he had seemed to be holding, then he offered his arm to her. "Shall we?"
"We shall."
AN: Hey y'all! I'll be honest, idk what this even is lmao this is a mess and I barely even edited it and it could definitely be a good deal shorter but this is what happened and I'm rolling with it because I have no shame left. Thus, I present to you: a purely self-indulgent fic with a trope here and there and of course some smut that I'm gonna share with y'all anyway. Part 2 will hopefully be up sometime in the next week or two.
Thanks for reading!