Risk.

That was what this all was.

This was a risk, and… had it really paid off?

Jaune remained motionless as he looked up at the large ash tree that towered in the distance. He hadn't looked at Crocea Mors… he didn't want to look at Crocea Mors. Not while it was… not while it was in the… state it was left in.

His entire body ached, each breath felt like his lungs were burning. A mix of exhaustion and pain after the ordeal with Cinder. He had…

It was all his fault, in the end, wasn't it?

He suggested using what was in the Vault, it was his idea that led the Staff into the hands of Cinder and Penny… Penny dead by his own hand.

That was probably why it was so hard to breath in the end, it was like a knot had twisted up inside him and he just wanted to wither away.

She was Ruby's best friend, and she… and he took her life. She asked for him to, but he should've just tried to keep going, to keep healing her. He had saved her life, so why? Why couldn't he save Penny's life as well? Why did he… why did he have to be the one to snuff out such a bright life?

Why couldn't he just be the hero he'd always wanted to be, for just one moment?

How long had passed as he lay here, staring at the cloudy sky? He couldn't tell if it was hours, or minutes, everything felt weird here. Was time even passing? It felt as though he'd been there forever, wallowing in his misery.

What right did he even have to lie here like this? Penny was his friend, but Ruby… Penny and Ruby were best friends, maybe more, he'd never really had a good eye for that sort of thing. Gods, he'd not even realized what was happening with Ren and Nora until it was so painfully obvious for everyone else. He knew they liked each other, but he never realized it had gone so far!

Ruby and Penny… they were close, close like he and Pyrrha had been, and he… he had taken that away. He had ended that, because he had been asked. He wanted to tell himself it was the right thing to do, the correct decision in the moment, but he couldn't, not really. He wished he had done anything differently.

Knowing that there was this abyss here below them, he would have thrown Penny in and leapt in to help Weiss. Yeah, he might've died, but at least he could've bought them all some time. He… He knew that his life was important, but… so was Penny's, and he had… he had let that end. It was her choice, but he was still the one who followed through, he was still the one who actually… who actually bloodied his blade doing the deed.

He knew he had to stand up, to try and assess his situation, and eventually he did, but not until what felt like another eternity had passed. It was hard to tell if the aches were just from his prior pain, or because he'd been lying there for so long. It didn't really matter, did it?

Stumbling forward, he made his way in the direction of the massive tree, the only real stand out landmark in this strange place. He tried to keep aware of his surroundings as he walked, but it was hard, when his thoughts kept going back to that moment.

How? How could she look so at peace with it, when she asked him that?

Pyrrha… Pyrrha gave up her life being a Huntress… being all she'd ever wanted to be, to save the lives of others, even at the cost of her own. It… It hurt him… hurt all of them when she did that, so why? Why did Penny have to make that choice?

All she'd ever wanted to be was a normal girl, and as soon as she was on the cusp of that… her light was snuffed out. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for her, it wasn't fair for Ruby. It wasn't fair for any of them.

It wasn't fair.

He had been walking for over an hour, at least, when he finally found where someone else had been staying, and just his luck, he'd found Ruby. He could tell that Blake had been with her, too, but the Faunus wasn't there at the moment.

"Jaune?!" The redhead spoke first, before he could try to offer any words at all, rushing up to him and hugging him tightly. It only made him feel worse, in the end. He… she shouldn't be hugging him. No one should, not after what he'd done. After how he'd failed them all. As the embrace ended, she took a step back, looking up towards him as he tried to avert his gaze. "Jaune, are you okay?"

"I…" He struggled to speak, his voice feeling caught in his throat. Ruby seemed to have the wrong impression, chuckling sheepishly as she led him towards the haphazard campfire. It reminded him a little of their RNJR days, which only made his stomach knot further.

"Who else fell?" Ruby finally asked, the attempt at changing the topic not really doing any to help lift the weight Jaune felt. "Did… Did Penny at least get out of there?"

He felt like he wanted to throw up. The… the hope in Ruby's eyes as she asked that, it only made the truth so much harder.

More than anything else, Ruby hoped that Penny was okay, and… and it was his fault she wasn't.

He had killed her.

He had taken the life of such a wonderfully bright and sweet girl.

He felt like a monster.

"Jaune?" He hadn't realized how long he had gone without answering her until she spoke up again, her voice cracking slightly. "Did… Did she fall, too?"

He wished she had, more than anything. He wished that she could be here in his stead, that she and Ruby could hug again and everything would be okay.

"Jaune?" Ruby spoke up again as he slowly took Crocea Mors from his hip, hand shaking as he slowly drew the broken blade, the very tip still stained in crimson. "Jaune?"

"Ruby, I…" He finally spoke, his voice trembling as his eyes watered. "I'm… I'm so sorry."

"Jaune?" Her voice was quiet now, almost a whisper.

"She… She was hurt… and…" Jaune shut his eyes as he tried to push away the memory of her face as she pushed his hands away, and asked him to kill her, so that she could choose who would become the next Maiden. Ruby was shaking her head softly, her eyes wide as she covered her mouth with both hands. Already, her eyes were slick with tears.

"She asked me to… to let her choose." He barely managed to get out before choking back another sob as he recalled the events. "To… To choose who would be the next Maiden, so that… so that Cinder couldn't take that from her."

"No…" Ruby mumbled out, tears running down her cheeks as she began to shake her head furiously.

"I… I'm so sorry." He repeated, hands still trembling as he lost his grip and the broken blade fell to the ground. "She wanted to make that one last choice, and I… I let her."

"No!" Jaune flinched slightly at Ruby's voice as she screamed, her fist desperately smacking against him before she collapsed to the ground, sobbing loudly. "She… She was supposed to have more time! We were supposed to have more time!"

"I'm sorry." It was all he could say, all he knew to say as he knelt down and tried to comfort her. He didn't blame her for pushing him away, he deserved it, really. After all that he'd done, it felt like that was exactly what he should get.

His whole life, he wanted to be a hero, not a… a killer. For the first time in all of this, it really hit home that not only was his life at risk, but he might be at risk of taking a life, and of all the lives it had to be, it was Penny's.

No wonder Crocea Mors had shattered, he didn't deserve to wield it any longer. It was a hero's blade, and he wasn't a hero.

He would never be a hero.

"Jaune?" He hadn't expected Ruby to speak to him again, he was ready for her to never speak to him again. For none of them to speak to him again. Her voice was raspy from crying, not that he could blame her, he had ruined everything.

"Yeah?" He finally responded, trying to ignore the tears that had been running down his cheeks, to pretend that he was okay when he knew he wasn't.

"Did… Did it work?"

"What?" He blinked, his brow furrowing. "What do you mean?"

"Did… Did it work?" Ruby repeated, her hands clenched tightly as she kept her eyes averted to the ground. "Did… Did Penny prevent Cinder from getting the powers? Did… who became a Maiden instead?"

"I… It…" Jaune took a deep breath, images of Winter chasing so desperately after Weiss as she fell playing in his head. "It did. W-Winter became the Winter Maiden. She… She made it to Vacuo as Cinder closed the portals around us."

"Th-Then that's good." Ruby replied, earning a frown from the blonde boy. He knew that voice, that was the voice his best friend had when she was trying to bury her emotions, to force herself to be happy when she was anything but. "Sh-she… She got what she wanted! That's… That's all that matters!"

"Ruby…" He spoke softly as he tried to approach the redhead again, teary blue eyes meeting silver.

"It… All that matters is that she…" Ruby tried to keep speaking, to keep putting on that front she'd always had, but Jaune could tell it was failing as she began to sob again, the blonde pulling her into a gentle embrace as she cried into his chest. "Why couldn't she stay? Why… Why couldn't she say goodbye?"

"It… We can't always say goodbye to the people we love." Jaune said, barely louder than a whisper. "But… she died with a smile on her face, with… with the knowledge that she'd saved the lives of others, and… and could make choices of her own."

"She shouldn't have had to…" Ruby whimpered, still trembling as she cried. "She… she deserved a normal life, more than any of us…"

"She did." Jaune agreed, sniffling as he tried to stop himself from crying further. It didn't work. "And for as long as she knew you, she got that."

"Wh-What?"

"You, more than any of us, Ruby… you gave her the chance to be normal." Jaune elaborated, finding a little more confidence in his words. He might not deserve forgiveness, but he'd be damned if he let a friend down now. Never again. "When we were traveling Anima, you told us stories about how you first found out Penny's body was synthetic, but… you were always careful not to refer to her as though she was a robot. She… You were the first person, save maybe Pietro, who treated her as just another person."

"You let her be normal."

"Jaune…" As Ruby tried to bring her tears to an end, Jaune gently patted his hand on her back to comfort her.

"I… I'm so sorry," Jaune repeated, "I'm so sorry that you couldn't have been there to say goodbye… I… I know how much it hurts… t-to not be able to say goodbye."

"I…" Ruby's voice paused for a moment as it cracked, the redhead shutting her mouth as she led Jaune to the log that served as a makeshift bench. Sitting down silently, she patted the spot beside her, and reluctantly he took a seat.

"When… When Pyrrha…" Ruby started, her voice getting caught again as she looked towards the fire. "When she died, I… I blamed myself. I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't strong enough."

"Ruby…" Jaune frowned at what she was saying, knowing that it wasn't fair for her to think that way. Before he could try to reassure her, she gave him a stern glare, and shook her head.

"It wasn't fair," she said for him, taking a deep breath. "I… I couldn't do anything for Pyrrha, even if I ran a thousand different scenarios in my head of how I might've done things better. I couldn't, Jaune, no matter how much I wanted to."

"And maybe…" Ruby rested her head against his arm, pulling her knees up to her chest. Slowly shaking her head, she continued. "Not maybe… If… If I couldn't do things better, then neither could you."

"Th-that's…" He started, but he couldn't find the words to refute her claim.

"It wasn't your fault." She finally said. "J-Just like Pyrrha wasn't my fault. It… It was Cinder's fault, a-and I'm so, so sorry that you were forced t-to… to help Penny like that."

"Ruby…" Jaune could hear her starting to sob, but she kept going regardless.

"I'm glad that… that she had someone there with her… when… when it was her time." Ruby finally managed to say, tears running down her cheeks again. "Th-thank you, f-for being there for Penny, l-like I was for Pyrrha."

"I…" Jaune wasn't sure he deserved thanks, he wasn't sure he'd ever think he did, but… he knew that Ruby was right, about him not being the one responsible. It was Cinder, and he would never forgive her. First Pyrrha, and now Penny.

He was going to make sure that she couldn't take anyone else from them. He would protect all of them.

Even if he wasn't a hero, he would still try to fight like one, to protect his friends, and anyone who needed to be shielded from harm.

That was the least he could do. For Pyrrha, for Penny… for Ruby.