This is a three-shot. Chapter one is purely Season 1. Chapter two takes place during Seasons 2 and 3. Chapter three will have both Season 4 and manga spoilers. The story begins before the Female Titan arc.

I had a lot of fun writing this. Enjoy!

"I think Eren is banging the Captain."

Connie instantly choked on the water he was drinking as Sasha spluttered in surprise. Mikasa looked up from her plate, and Reiner and Bertholdt turned over in interest. Ymir raised an eyebrow and Christa glanced around nervously, checking to make sure nobody unwanted overheard. They were all gathered in the mess hall having dinner. Armin was currently on duty, cleaning the stables, and Eren was with the Captain in question.

"Yo Jean? What the fuck?" Connie asked indignantly after he recovered. "Mind not trying to kill me here?"

"I'm serious," Jean said, his eyes narrowed. "Eren and Levi are obviously in a physical relationship together."

"What makes you say that?" Mikasa inquired, a dangerous edge to her voice. "Captain Levi and Eren? Ridiculous. Eren would never betray me - I mean," she coughed, "Eren would never betray the sanctity of the Survey Corps like that. Such a relationship would be highly unprofessional."

"I must agree," Reiner added. "Last I checked, Eren was interested in girls."

Jean sighed. "Look, I know it's hard to believe, but just think about it. Every time Eren finishes one of his 'nightly sessions' with Captain Levi, he always returns with an immensely satisfied expression - clearly the post-sex afterglow."

"That doesn't prove anything…" Reiner said slowly.

"He always complains about being sore the day after, and walks with a noticeable limp," Jean continued.

"I mean, there must be a good reason for it?"

"And the other day, when we were talking about who had the best muscles in the Survey Corps, Eren answered 'Captain Levi'. And when I asked him why, you know what he said?" Jean looked at them, his expression traumatized. "He said, and I quote, 'Because I've felt them before, obviously."

"Okay, they're definitely banging," Reiner declared.

"I refuse to believe it," Mikasa shook her head resolutely. "Eren… Eren would never do something like that."

"If you really think about it, it does make sense though..." Connie spoke up from the side, his voice quiet.

"What? How?!" Mikasa snapped.

"Well, you know what happened in the courtroom. Levi beat up Eren pretty badly, remember?" Connie looked at her, a thousand-yard stare etched on his face. "What if… what if that awakened something within Eren?"

The blood drained out of Mikasa's face.

"Now that you mention it," Reiner rubbed his chin, "Eren seems to be on fairly good terms with Captain Levi, despite him beating him to a pulp. Unusually good terms, I would say. Perhaps that's because Eren actually enjoyed it?"

"A masochist?" Sasha gasped.

"It does fit his character well," Ymir acknowledged, her eyes dancing with amusement. "I mean, he literally bites himself to turn into a Titan. Inflicting pain on himself to act as a trigger…" She smirked. "I think Eren's secretly a masochist."

Dead silence.

"Which means…" Jean's voice trembled. "Which means that every night… Eren goes over to Captain Levi's private quarters… for heavy BDSM sex?"

"Holy shit," Connie breathed.

Reiner whistled. "Damn. I always knew Eren was the most intense person out of all of us, but he's just the most intense person, full stop."

Mikasa stopped breathing.

XxX

"Achoo!" Eren sneezed.

"Bless you," Levi replied, automatically handing him a handkerchief.

"Thank you," Eren replied before smiling. "Man, I really appreciate these private lessons you're giving me," he beamed.

Levi grunted. "It's my duty to make sure the future of humanity doesn't embarrass the Survey Corps with his shitty fighting techniques."

Eren laughed. "I'm serious though. These nightly sessions are really helping me a lot, though they do leave me really sore the day after…"

"Make sure to stretch afterwards."

Eren nodded at the advice. "Right. Anyway, shall we resume my training, sir?"

Levi nodded, falling into a stance. "Today, I'll teach you the Flying Scissor Kick technique. Watch closely."

XxX

"Man, that hurts," Eren complained as he stepped back into the barracks. He poked at a nasty-looking purple bruise on his arm, wincing at the pain. "Levi sure didn't show me any mercy tonight," he muttered.

Someone choked in the barracks.

"I'll have to ask him to use more protection next time," he continued muttering under his breath. Need to make sure Levi wraps his legs with more bandages to cushion the blows.

Even more choking sounds could be heard, as well as some hyperventilating.

"Are you okay?" Armin asked in concern. Not having been present at the conversation at the dinner hall, he was blissfully ignorant of the heavy consternation of everyone around them pretending they weren't eavesdropping.

"Nah, it's fine," Eren grinned. "I was the one who asked for this, after all."

"I see," Armin nodded. "Well, take care of your body."

Eren laughed. "It's not really my body anymore…"

Since officially, he was registered as property of the Survey Corps - it had been one of the conditions the judge and the Military Police had set for him to join. Erwin and Levi didn't like it, naturally, and they made sure to let him know that he was still his own person, but according to the law, Eren literally belonged to the Survey Corps.

Of course, nobody else knew that. As far as they were concerned, Eren just admitted to Levi owning his mind, body, heart, and soul.

Chaos ensued.

And throughout it all, Eren remained blissfully unaware.

XxX

Of course, the rumors spread like wildfire through the Survey Corps. Somehow, nothing reached Eren or Levi or strangely Armin, but not before long, word of their... activities reached even the higher-ups.

Which led to this current situation.

"A moment please, Levi," Erwin requested.

"Hmm? Very well," Levi nodded, following Erwin into his office.

Erwin reclined back into his chair, sighing wearily as he did so, looking as if he would rather be anywhere else than there. "Levi... Take it easy on Eren in your - ah, nightly sessions, all right?"

Levi frowned. "Why is that?"

Erwin coughed, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Umm... well... I know you're both mature enough to make your own decisions, but... the last thing I need is more accusations of sexual harassment in the Survey Corps, especially after Mike sniffed that one Military Police officer..."

Levi's frown deepened. "Sexual harassment...?" he said slowly.

"And we don't want Eren accidentally transforming into a Titan, right?" Erwin continued desperately. "That would be bad."

"Don't worry about it. I know Eren's limits extremely well," Levi informed him. "Hange and I spent a long time testing him - "

"I DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT!" Erwin paused. "Wait. Hange is involved?"

"Well, of course," Levi replied casually. "Did you really think we'll leave her out of the fun?"

Erwin opened his mouth, then closed it a moment later. "I..." he sighed. "I found out more about my subordinates today than I wanted to know, and I confess, I have no desire to learn any more. Just... leave. Please. And be careful."

"As you wish," Levi said, frowning slightly in confusion. It was only combat training...

XxX

"I require assistance, Captain Levi."

Levi looked at Armin from behind his desk in his office. "Well?" he prompted.

"Umm..." Armin bit his lip. "I... I need some help with my fighting."

Levi sighed heavily. "I don't have the time to train you as well - "

"No no no!" Armin quickly exclaimed. "I'm not asking for private lessons or anything. Just a few tips and pointers would be fine."

"Hmm... I can do that," Levi acquiesced. "What is it you needed help with?"

"Well, as you can probably tell, I don't have a lot of muscle on me, like Reiner or even Eren," Armin said, almost embarrassedly. "In fact, I'm probably the weakest guy in the Survey Corps right now."

"If you're just here to give me your sob story, then get out of my office - "

"But then when I asked Eren," Armin forged on, "he told me that you probably had some special technique to increase your power even without bulking up on muscles. So... do you?" he asked tentatively.

Levi looked at Armin's hopeful gaze before sighing. "As a matter of fact, there is something." Armin brightened at that. "Tell me, how familiar are you with the concept of the 'war cry?'"

Armin blinked. "A bunch of men screaming at the top of their lungs as they charge to war?"

Levi scowled. "No, not that. The war cry I'm referring to is an ancient Oriental fighting technique that allows you to increase the power of your strike. It's a short shout uttered when performing your attack. I believe the exact term is 'kiai.'"

He held up a hand in front of Armin. "To help you learn, punch my hand. First, for our control, punch my hand normally."

"Y-Yes," Armin nodded before punching Levi's palm. A SMACK resounded throughout the room.

"Good. This time, as you punch, utter a short cry," Levi instructed.

"HAAAAAAA!" Armin shouted as he punched Levi's palm again with another loud SMACK.

Levi shook his head. "A shorter shout."

"HAAAA!" Armin tried again.

"Shorter."

"HA!"

"Again."

"HA!"

After a couple attempts, Armin bent down, breathing heavily as he rested his hands against his knees. "Captain Levi, I don't think this is working," he panted.

Levi nodded. "Indeed. The power of your punch hasn't really increased at all from the control punch..."

"I'm sorry," Armin apologized. "I think it's my fault. Whenever I shout as I punch, I just... get really embarrassed," he said, looking away with some red on his cheeks.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Embarrassed," he repeated flatly.

"Umm... yeah," Armin rubbed the back of his head. "It's embarrassing to shout like that... you know?"

Levi sighed. "How about you grunt instead?" he suggested.

"What?"

"You don't necessarily have to shout 'ha'. A grunt should suffice as well, as long as it's sufficiently loud enough. A grunt isn't as embarrassing, correct? In fact, it should even be considered manly, or so I'm told."

Armin's eyes had sparkles in them as he regarded Levi. "Eren was right!" he proclaimed. "You really are a genius!"

"Just try it."

Armin nodded determinedly. "Right! UGH!" He let out a loud grunt as he punched Levi's hand. A much louder SMACK echoed through the room.

"Oh?" Levi raised an eyebrow. "That punch definitely had more force than the ones before. Again."

"UMF!"

"Better."

"UMH!"

XxX

Jean, Reiner, and Connie stood outside Captain Levi's office. The three of them were almost catatonic from shock. They had been sent to deliver some paperwork to Captain Levi, but then when they approached the office...

Another loud grunt came from inside the room accompanied with a SMACK. Then, Levi's words drifted out.

"Perfect, Armin. You're a really fast learner. Let's try it again."

Followed by another grunt, SMACK, and pleased comment from Levi.

Jean, Reiner, and Connie looked at each other, horrified. As one, they turned around and promptly sprinted away, eager to spread the word to everyone.

XxX

"You've corrupted another one?" Erwin remarked disappointedly. "For shame, Levi. For shame."

Levi stared at him. "What?"

XxX

"Why has everyone been looking at us so weirdly lately?" Eren asked Armin.

Armin shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's just your imagination?"

Somehow, the rumors never reached the two of them. Somehow.

XxX

"Eren, look at me."

"Mikasa, what's up - " Eren abruptly cut off as his eyes widened.

Mikasa stood there, clad in nothing but her underwear. The curves of her breasts, her pale creamy skin, her long legs, her beautiful abs... They were all laid bare to Eren. "Do you like what you see?" she asked shyly.

Eren's brain promptly shut down.

"I... I really like you, Eren," Mikasa bit her lip, her face flushed bright red. "If you leave him, this will be all yours. Just say the word."

Eren stared dumbly at her, making strangled sounds every once in a while.

Mikasa sighed. "Leaving me to do everything again, huh?" she muttered. Then she stepped in close and kissed him.

It was a miracle Eren's heart didn't stop right there and then.

XxX

"They thought I was doing WHAT with Captain Levi?!" Eren shouted in disbelief. "That's - that's ridiculous!"

After Eren finally managed to regain his composure, he had given Mikasa his answer - yes, obviously. Overjoyed, Mikasa had kissed him again, causing his brain to shut down once more. Afterwards, they went outside to take a walk, and Mikasa had hesitantly asked him about exactly what he did with Levi.

Needless to say, the conversation quickly... degenerated.

"You mean you weren't having BDSM sex with Captain Levi?" Mikasa asked hopefully.

"NO! WHY WOULD THEY EVER THINK THAT?!" Eren blanched. "You mean, all those strange glances Reiner, Connie, and all the others kept giving me after I returned from my nightly sessions... It was because they thought I was - " he trailed off.

Mikasa nodded. "Yup. So just to confirm, you and Levi haven't done anything?"

Eren gagged. "Of course not!"

Mikasa beamed at him joyfully. "I'm so happy to hear that. So I guess Armin isn't doing anything inappropriate with Levi either?"

"NO!"

XxX

"They think I'm doing WHAT with WHO NOW?!" Levi shouted in disbelief.

Hange laughed uproariously. "Oh, your face!" she giggled. "Your face!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Levi blanched. "Oh god. So all those glances Erwin and Mike and Petra and the others have been giving me... it's because they thought I was a..."

"Sadistic sexual deviant who enjoys bondage?" Hange smirked. "Yes, yes they did."

Levi's hand abruptly slammed into his forehead. "I work with idiots," he muttered. "I work with fucking idiots."

In preparation for the final chapter, I decided to write something. This was what I came up with.

Thanks for reading, and please review!

euphoric