Another One Shot for Harry Potter. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Harry Potter

It's Killing Me

He was a player, he knew that. He slept around. There were very few witches in Hogwarts (Of age, of course) that he had not had some intimacy with. Most were sex, others were oral, or kissing, groping, hands-on action. Or just wishful witches making up rumours about magic-filled nights with him.

But then there was her. His fantasy. The one he could never have, but the one he wanted the most. Maybe it was the fact that she was forbidden and he could never have her because he couldn't. Or maybe it was the teasing, the bullying, the retaliation. The battle. The pent-up anger. He didn't know but for the last 2 years, every witch he was with, it was her inside his mind.

He tried. He had tried so desperately to get her out his mind. But there was no point. He could lose her in his thoughts, until he lost control of himself. As he reached his climax it was always her. Her body, her face. Her voice.

He was obsessed. He needed to get over it. Maybe that was why it hurt so much when he saw her with the weasel. Ronald Fucking Weasley. What she saw in the prick he had no idea. He wasn't smart. Not at all. No Draco was the only one in the school who even came close to matching her intelligence. He could challenge her, match her mentally. There was no debate over that.

He was better at quidditch, he had more competition that was certain. His physique was also a lot more impressive. One that not many could challenge. He'd been in the changing rooms with both Potter and Weasel and always came out feeling proud of bis body. He spent enough time working on his muscles it was nice to see the results.

Did it irritate him that he put in all that work for her in particular but he she was one of the few that had never witnessed it? Yes, definitely. But it meant that he could always improve. Weasley didn't have that idea in his head. He was so arrogant and cock sure.

Draco was a sore loser, he admitted that. He would bully and walk away. But he wouldn't let it get him down. He didn't sulk for days, like Ron. Pining for attention and then being an arse when he got it.

He had witnessed Ron and Hermione fight. Ron thought a lot more of himself than there was. He knew that Hermione knew it too, so why did she still date him. The only thing he could think of was that he was incredible in bed. But he had overheard Hermione talking to some other Gryffindor's...Or maybe Ravenclaws he couldn't recall exactly. He was too focused on what Hermione was saying.

He distinctly remembered Hermione talking about his lack of experience or care for his partner. Draco knew that he definitely had experience, and the thought of leaving a woman unsatisfied was emasculating. No gentleman puts his own pleasure above a ladies'. That was rule 1. It sickened him that Weasley could score a killer woman like Hermione, and treat her as though she was a common whore, like his batty ex, Lavender.

It was killing him. He would be the first to admit. He loved her. He knew he shouldn't. He couldn't. He was about to become a death eater. If the Dark Lord found out, she would be killed. She would be his weakness. She is his weakness.

She was an angel, but he couldn't lose her. He knew one thing though; Weasley definitely did not deserve her. It killed Draco, but not talking to her, continuing to be horrible to her was the only way to keep her safe. Sure, he could double cross, but there was no guarantee that she would fall for him in the end.

It killed him, for her not to be killed. For her not to know. How he pleaded and begged for one night with her. One night to get her out of his head. To have his fill so he could move on. But, aside from the fact that she would never agree to it, he knew it would only make things worse. He remembered something his mother had told him years ago when she tried to put him off something;

"If you've never had a chocolate frog, then how can you miss it? If you've heard everyone talking about a chocolate frog, then your mind will create an idea in your head that no reality could ever live up to. If you're at the point where you think you need it, what you think you need doesn't exist". Harsh words, but he knew they were right. As much as he longed for a night with her to be as good as he hoped, he knew that what he had in his head would never happen.

He sighed and took his eyes off her from across the room. Glad for his occlumency training from snape.