Screw Eleven, We're Going To Twelve, a star fox fanfic

Happy April Fools! I decided to do another short to celebrate this holiday as well, because why not? The characters here belong to Nail Strafer, SheppardSD, K.S Reynard Thespacedoge, and Demo ODST. Please support these guys by reading their stuff, it's top quality! As for the inspiration of this parody as well as who created it, well, if you know, you know. As a hint, let me pose this question:

You ever wonder why we're here? It's one of life's greatest mysteries, isn't it?

(Song... you all know the song that goes here, just look up the theme)

Alarm, security breach, level Delta. Intruder detected in the facility, this is not a drill.

"Run!" Came the shout of an arctic fox holding a pulse rifle, seemingly running for his life as fast as his tight t-shirt and black cargo pants with combat boots would allow him.

"Oh crap, where is he?!" Came the panicked shouts of a human as he dived away from the door frame he came from in an orange graphic t-shirt under a small plate carrier with jeans and hi-tops, while a short-haired german shepherd decked out in full combat armor pulled up the rear, firing a few shots from his shotgun at the door frame before chucking a grenade for good measure and following his comrades in their mad dash to retreat.

Observing over this fearful sprint was a sand cat clad in a red hoodie and jeans and a bubbly cinnamon furred husky with a practical ocean of cinnamon flowing hair wearing a green Cornerian flight suit with shiny black boots. They were standing by in an observation booth and watching the chaos, with the husky seeming nervous as she turned toward the sand cat. "Giichi, we have to help them!" She exclaimed, practically shaking his soul out of his shorter body.

"Help who, Shelia?" Giichi asked, trying to level his feet on the ground as Shelia picked him up by his shoulders.

"Them! Vince, TJ, and Sven! Nail is attacking them and we have to stop him! He's gone rogue!" Shelia exclaimed before the two looked out the window to barely catch a glimpse of Nail almost flying through the air with a shiny silver suit of combat armor gleaming.

Giichi sighed as he finally broke free from Shelia's grip. "Yeah, I'm not stopping Nail. First off, this is just a battlefield simulation test. Granted, people are going to get hurt, but not die. I just brought back some Thalljistani tech and Nail wanted to give it a shot. Everyone else in there offered to help him test it, we're here to observe and document." Giichi reminded the husky, who looked like she just had an epiphany before the smile was back on her face.

"Oh, this is gonna be wonderful then! I'll feel so smart!"

The unlikely trio managed to catch a break from this furry terminator, as Sven took control of the situation even though both TJ and Vince looked like they were about to cough up their lungs. This warehouse environment was providing good enough cover, as thin steel walls, crates, and barrels flanked them on all sides. The musty grey and green color of the room only made them all stand out more, meaning they needed to get away and fast. "We need to keep moving, men! Come on, double time! Hell, I'd settle for single time!" The space dog barked out, just as Vince was able to catch his breath by leaning on a nearby steel wall and TJ covering their six.

"Maybe we should just fight. I'm afraid he's gonna start picking us off one by-" A silver hand exploded through the steel wall, grabbing Vince by his neck, who was only able to finish off his sentence with a fearful "-one!" before his head was slammed into the steel, followed by the whole section being kicked loose and pinning him against the wall opposite of him.

As the fox exclaimed his pain with a loud yet muffled "OW!", Sven was quick to turn his shotgun to Nail and fire, but the canine was faster. Much faster. As quick as lighting, Nail ducked the shot and punched Sven in the gut before tossing the old soldier helmet-first into TJ's groin, who instinctively covered his privates in pain before Nail came charging at them like a bull seeing red. Charging the dog and human through two sets of thin steel walls, Nail's punishment wasn't done yet, even as the duo slid through a neatly stacked tower of barrels.

As the canine slowly began walking towards the downed duo, Vince wedged himself out of the wall he was pinned with and sighed. "Aw, forget this! I need a bigger weapon," he muttered as he ran back over to the door frame he came sprinting out of.

Arriving back at the door, Vince noticed the two observers and flagged them down by frantically waving his arms. "Giichi! Shelia! Help us!" He exclaimed, cocking the brows of the observers.

"Uh, I don't think we're allowed to do that! I'm not sure if it's outside of the parameters of the test or not!" Giichi shouted, making Vince huff as he nervously shot a glance back at where Nail may have been.

"Push some buttons, I don't know!" Vince shouted back, causing Shelia to shove Giichi away from the control panel he was standing in front of.

"Buttons?! Oh man, I love buttons! Beep-bap-boop-boop-boop-bap-boop." Shelia's random button smacking on the console suddenly dropped a convenient mother-lode of rocket launchers from a crate above at the feet of Vince, who picked one up with an optimistic smile.

"Wow, that actually worked perfectly. Thanks!" Vince exclaimed, running off with his new toy.

"Huh, I guess we can do stuff here..." Giichi simply shrugged, before Shelia's six-foot frame towered over him to lean out the observation window.

"You're welcome!" She exclaimed, before looking back over the control panel with a confused grimace. "How the heck did I do that...?"

Vince's path crossed with Rena, still sneaking around the place after she lost Nail a few minutes ago. The angry yellow fox was wearing a dark black hoodie with a heavy metal band's logo on it, black short shorts, and pink and black thigh-high socks with black combat boots to finish off her edgy look. "Hey, Vince, what the hell's going on down there?" she impatiently asked, even as the sounds of gunfire and close-quarters combat filled the two vulpine's ears.

"You gotta help us!" Vince begged, before looking at the vixen's hip to notice a sharp pizza cutter holstered on it. "Do you know how to use that thing?!" The arctic fox desperately asked, pointing to her hip.

Looking down at her weapon, Rena shrugged and nodded with a confident smirk. "My pizza cutters? Fark yeah I know how to use them! What's so hard to understand about slice-slice-slice? It's a farking pizza cutter dude, it's not an Arwing." The vixen snidely remarked, an attitude Vince was not having as he motioned her to follow him.

TJ was barely able to duck a barrel tossed at him from Nail, while Sven was unlucky enough to catch it clean in the face, stumbling backward. Panic firing at this point, TJ tried to land a single shot on Nail from his G18c, who rolled to close the gap before bashing the heads of the two. With both of the combatants stunned, Nail took to unleashing powerful gut hooks to Sven and TJ respectively, before kicking Sven hard enough in the face that it caused an accidental discharge of his shotgun and dropped him to the ground.

The kid's panic firing refused to cease until his gun made a dreaded click. That gave Nail all he needed, as he unleashed a boxing style combo on TJ, before kneeing him on the gut and slamming him on the ground, holding one leg open to expose his groin. TJ was able to piece two and two together, only managing to shout out "Waitwaitwai-" before Nail's fist slammed onto his privates, quickly followed by his foot delivering a soccer ball style kick to the special zone, as TJ was sent flying into a crate.

As TJ whimpered in pain, a framed teleporter fell from the top of the crate and onto him, teleporting him right back to Nail's feet as the grey canine delivered another gut punch to a now standing Sven before knocking him back to the ground with a double axe handle punch to his back. Nail was quick to observe what had happened, and made a mental note to utilize the framed teleporters later.

"Hey, Strafer!" Came a shout, prompting Nail to duck and narrowly avoid a pizza cutter flying overhead. Looking towards the shout, it was Rena, armed with a second pizza cutter that began to whir to life as the sharp blade spun at sonic speeds. "Remember me? Step away from the idiots!" She challenged, prompting Nail to assume an unarmed stance as the two circled each other, ready to go toe-to-toe. In the background, however, Vince was climbing a container, praying that Nail wouldn't notice him as he aimed the rocket launcher.

Suddenly, a large shipping container dropped from above, right over Rena and Nail. The two were forced to jump back and were now separated, while a certain husky squealed with excitement.

"Yay! I saved Rena! I'm a hero!" Shelia triumphantly shouted as Giichi simply face-palmed.

"Sheila, what the fark are you doing?! You're messing up my plan with Vince! I was supposed to distract Nail for him!" Rena angrily shouted, before her eyes went as wide as dinner plates.

Nail's head snapped instantly to Vince, who was now trying to rapidly load the RPG as quickly as he could. "You ratted me out you son of a bitch!" The arctic fox exclaimed, before aiming and firing the rocket as fast as he could. Nail dodged the first rocket, before dashing off to the side and chucking the framed teleporter at Vince. "Oh shit!" The fox exclaimed, firing off another rocket. What Vince had failed to realize was that he was firing at the teleporter TJ fell through, as the rocket went through the teleporter and out the one that fell on TJ, now sending the rocket towards Vince. He had inadvertently shot the rocket at his own feet. The blast threw him into the air and into the teleporter, letting out another "Oh shit!" as he ended up face to face with Nail, who grabbed him and kicked him towards Rena.

"Whoa, that was awesome!" Rena exclaimed, before Vince's flying body hit her's, knocking them both to the ground.

Back at the control booth, Shelia was still trying to persuade Giichi to let her help everyone else. "Um, can we use turrets on him? Or some explodey firey things?" She begged. Giichi sighed once more before a brown vulpine-feline mix wearing a red flannel, blue jeans, and boots walked into the control room.

"Yeah, this place's safety protocols won't let you do that. Everything's in lockdown for right now." Mira commented, walking up to the observation window and looking towards the battlefield. "So, what's going on?" She asked, turning towards Giichi as Shelia was busy slapping buttons on the control panel.

"Well, I gave Nail this prototype combat armor from Thaljista, and he was eager to try it. So right now, we got four test subjects that were willing to help it out. But it's really one-sided at this point." Giichi informed, making Mira quirk an interested brow as she looked out the window again but this time with a wide grin.

A loud snore suddenly grabbed the room's attention, as everyone turned around to noticed Will Hawkins passed out clean in his Mk9 Maverick power armor, laying flat on the floor, unresponsive and happily snoring.

A star-struck look hit Shelia's eye as she gripped the other human in the facility and tried to pick him up to no avail. "What if we send in Will?! That'll even the odds!" She exclaimed with a wagging tail, while Giichi sighed and Mira simply chuckled.

After a few rough shakes from the husky, Will refused to wake up from his snoring paradise, making Sheila pout. Mira meanwhile got down in a crouch and put her muzzle up to the human's mouth. As soon as a certain scent hit her nose, Mira only sighed with a smile. "Yup. That's beer. Means Will here is going to be absolutely passed out for now."

Sheila's pout only continued as she went back to slapping buttons on the control panel, much to Giichi's chagrin.

"Whatta we do, Sven?" TJ whimpered, looking around the ground for a weapon. Nail was casting an intimidating glare over the group, all of whom were barely recovering from the beatings dished out to them as they got back to their feet.

"I dunno. I've never been on this much of a one-sided ass-kicking before!" Sven replied, pumping his shotgun while Rena began to whir up her pizza cutter.

"Yeah, I noticed! Try harder!" Vince commented as he pulled up his rocket launcher, while TJ found his salvation in the form of a crowbar lying on the ground.

There was a few seconds of staring down the apex predator as Nail didn't seem to flinch, even with four weapons pointed his way. His slow walk forward suddenly turned into a full-blown sprint as the canine wrestled the shotgun from Sven before flipping the old dog on his back and elbowing Rena straight in the gut before clocking the vixen in the jaw with the butt of the shotgun. The impact was strong enough to send her flying backward, as Nail leaned back to dodge a rocket fired by Vince. The vulpine was in shock, exclaiming "What the fu~?" as Nail's foot was planted in his stomach, sending Vince through a nearby array of teleporters and trailing his swear before he popped out of one of the teleporters behind TJ. The street racer was using his crowbar as a shield to guard his face as Nail pumped his shotgun, but an impact from behind thanks to Vince sent the street racer stumbling forward.

Nail took the opportunity for his foot to connect into TJ's groin once more, lifting him up in the air from the power of the kick before settling him back down on the ground with an extra stomp, causing more southern damage. Looking down towards his injured area, TJ was suddenly met with the receiving end of Sven's shotgun barrel, with Nail ready to fire the shot.

As TJ closed his eyes and prepared for a half-week in the infirmary for training pellet wounds, the shotgun suddenly clicked, letting the driver breathe a sigh of relief. Sven however was none too happy that his shotgun was out of ammo. "Private TJ! You should be ashamed of yourself! We've run out of ammo again! That's your responsibility!" The old dog scolded as Nail kept clicking the shotgun, making TJ chuckle.

"Huh, I guess this is the first time my laziness has ever saved my-" Nail foot suddenly stomped on TJ's chest, forcing him to exhale all of the air in his lungs as Nail took up a golfer's stance with the shotgun.

"Protect me, crowbar!" Was TJ's pitiful plea before Nail swung right at his groin yet again, sending the driver flying into Vince as the two traded grunts of pain.

"Watch it!" Vince exclaimed.

"You watch it!" TJ fired back.

Sven sighed as he took up a CQC stance and looked back towards his teammates with a disappointed look on his muzzle. "You idiots, let me show you how it's done!" Sven exclaimed. His fatal mistake was turning his back on Nail, who instantly ran up and punched Sven in the muzzle, sending him flying back to the other two.

"Nice demonstration, Sven," TJ replied with snark dripping from his lips.

"Shut up..." Was Sven's response. As the trio got their bearings and up to their feet, Vince subtly pointed out a crate being moved over Nail.

"Sheila, for the last time, we can't interfere," Giichi commanded, only to be ignored by Shelia as she continued moving the crate above Nail.

"Relax, this'll be fine! If anything, we're helping out with a handicap here!" The husky argued as she was maneuvering the crate, before pausing. "Wait, how much weight can the suit hold?" She suddenly asked.

Giichi shrugged as she kept slapping buttons on the panel, before eyeing said panel like it was a calculus problem. "Hmm, what button holds up this crate?"

As Rena shook herself up from Nail's punch, she noticed a crate hanging precariously overhead. The vixen kept herself ready to move, waiting for any noises to indicate that the crate was about to drop on her and Nail. The canine seemed oblivious, even as the shadow loomed over them.

Rena's ears were able to pick up the sound of the crate squeaking, before that signaled her cue to move. Using the implants in her legs, the vixen was able to dive out of the way at super speed, leaving Nail alone under the crate.

With a booming thud, the crate fell on Nail as Rena slid away, her face reading pure joy at outsmarting the canine. "Oh fark, I can't belive that worked!"

There was an eerie silence that hung over the facility, as few people were able to process what had just happened. "Uh... is he still alive?" Came a worried question from TJ, as the dust began to settle.

Giichi's confusion was at maximum capacity as he watched Nail get crushed by the crate. But something was off. On the wall of the control room, Giichi had set up a monitor to read Nail's vitals. If the suit was broken, or he was crushed, the vitals would have been flat-lining by now. But his heart rate was still at seventy-five beats per minute, and his vitals were still in the green. But he was nowhere to be seen on the facility floor, like he disappeared. So where was he?

As the team was cooling down from the fight, a low hum caught their attention. A series of eyebrows were raised as the noise seemed to intensify before the container started to rumble. Everyone started taking nervous steps backward as the shaking intensified before it was suddenly launched forward, casting a wide and intimidating shadow on the group.

"Oh fark, that didn't work."

While Sven, TJ, and Vince were frozen in place out of fear, the vixen grew a smirk on her face. "Relax, let me show you how it's done!" Rena exclaimed, whirring up her pizza cutter as the container began to bear down on her once more. Her leg implants came in handy again as she lept into the air and sliced the crate in half, the tuned-up kitchen appliance somehow cutting through steel like it was butter. Landing in a crouch, Rena could feel the admiration of how badass she just was from everyone in the facility before she turned around, her ears now flat against her skull. No one bothered to move out of the way, with TJ, Vince, and Sven all getting buried in a mountain of first aid kits that the container, well, contained.

Rena sighed as she held the pizza cutter by her side, looking over the new mess created. "Oh farkberries, did you guys-" The vixen was cut off by Nail's boot connecting with her jaw, sending her stumbling backward as the unscathed canine lumbered forward. Rena simply growled before assuming a combat stance and whirring up the pizza cutter once more.

Vince breathed a sigh of relief from behind the crate, shaking off a few first aid kits as he began to search for the others, with the rocket launcher lowly held by his side. "Sven? Where'd you go?"

As soon as Vince shouted that, Sven popped up from a pyramid of first aid kits, looking wide-eyed and fully rested. "Woo! What just happened? I feel defeated. Yet inexplicably rejuvenated!"

As the two went to go search for TJ in the medical pile, Rena's fight with Nail continued, and it was as one-sided as it could be. Rena went for an overhead slice, only for Nail to duck and catch her with two punches to the jaw and abdomen. Rena tried a sideways cut, only for Nail to counter with a knee to her gut and a haymaker. Rena let out a pissed "Fark!" before going back for a third slice, looking to stab the canine with her pizza cutter. That failed as well however, as Nail ducked the stab and twisted the vixen's arm, dropping her to her knees with a kick to one of them. As Rena complained about how unfair the fight currently was, Nail's boot meshed with her face again, the canine taking the pizza cutter for himself as Rena was sent sliding across the factory floor, her yellow fur quickly becoming covered in soot.

As the vixen slid across the floor while spouting an angered series of swears, her body hit the edge of the teleporter, before it was flung into the device, disappearing from view with one final "Fark!" The trio watched from the sideline with mouths agape, before TJ piped up. "Whoa, did you guys see that?"

"How would we have missed that?" Vince replied, annoyance blanketing his tone.

Rena stumbled through the teleporter, before Nail's hand secured itself around her throat. Just as Nail was about to get in a slice of his own, the pizza cutter suddenly powered down, making Rena chuckle. "What's the matter, Strafer? Can't keep it turned on? Don't worry, it happens to everyone!"

As Nail began to pummel Rena with the fist holding the pizza cutter, Sven turned towards Vince with a questioning glare. "Hey, isn't that rocket launcher one of the older models?"

"Uh... oh, yeah! It is!"

"So that means it's got heat-seeking! Now lock on and let 'er rip!"

Before Vince could fire the rocket however, a loud "Fark!" sounded from the teleporter that Rena fell into, before a grey-furred canine flew through said teleporter, crashing on the ground with a poof. Coughing as the figure stood up, it got onto one knee and looked around itself before a dissatisfied voice piped up. "Dammit, what the fark is this black stuff?"

"There he is! Get him!" Sven and TJ announced, rushing the canine, who let out a confused "Huh?" in response.

Sven and TJ quickly darted towards the "canine", while Vince was able to see through the soot. However, before he could say a word, Sven and TJ began kicking the down "canine", who protested audibly and tried to defend "him"self.

"Ow! Hey, what the fark? I'm not Nail, I'm Rena, you dumbasses!" Unfortunately for Rena, TJ and Sven didn't seem to care or understand as their assault continued, until Vince stepped in.

"Guys, that's Rena, not Nail!" Vince exclaimed, making Sven pause as TJ stepped away and Sven held Rena in a headlock. Sven blinked for a minute, before looking down, noticing Rena's icy blue eyes through the soot staining her fur staring daggers into him.

Before Sven was able to let go, Rena quickly wormed her way out of the hold and pushed Sven away. "Why'd you guys do that?!" Rena demanded, slowly walking backwards.

"Hey, you look like him right now with all that black stuff on you," Sven countered.

"Man, you guys are really-" Rena was cut off as she slipped on one of the first aid kits littering the floor. She would have fallen flat on her back had it not been for TJ behind her, putting his hands on her upper back as the two stumbled backwards. The two finally came to a stop, unfortunately, it was over the teleporter that Rena flew through, Rena trying to keep herself up while TJ supported her back.

As the two balanced themselves over the precarious portal, TJ looked up to notice Nail at the other teleporter. "Hold still Rena, I see him! He's over by the..." TJ trailed off as Nail stuck his head through the teleporter, appearing underneath the body bridge and looking up at the two.

"Oh crap..."

"TJ, I see him..."

With a fist of doom, Nail suddenly delivered an uppercut, striking TJ's groin right on the mark, making TJ let go of Rena as he held his manhood in utter pain. "What is your problem with my balls?!" The street racer demanded, falling through the teleporter. Rena tried to balance herself, before she fell through the portal as well with an "Oh fark."

As TJ fell to the floor whimpering, Rena fell backwards, stumbling into Nail. The canine suplexed the vixen perfectly, before transitioning right into a mount, something that Rena appreciated as she blocked the punches.

As Nail assaulted the vixen, Sven prodded Vince and his rocket launcher. "Vince! What are you waiting for?!"

Vince panicked as he eyed the two black-furred Lylatians, his finger trembling over the trigger. "They look the same, which one do I shoot?!"

"Shoot the one who's winning, dumbass! Ow!" Rena shouted, before getting caught in the muzzle with a punch.

In the worst timing, TJ walked into the line of fire, clutching his groin and moaning in severe pain. "TJ, get out of the way!" Vince shouted. TJ only moaned in response.

Nail noticed the target on TJ's back and quickly hopped off of Rena before kicking the vixen in her side, sending her flying into TJ and knocking him back towards Vince and Sven. As Rena was still airborne, Nail quickly grabbed the vixen's booted foot before pulling her in close. Pulling his fist back as far back as it could realistically go, the world seemingly turned in slow motion for both Nail and Rena for a few seconds. Finally, Nail's fist crashed into Rena's muzzle with enough force to blow the soot off her body. The blow sent the vixen sliding, before coming to a stop at Vince's feet, moaning in pain.

"Whoa," Sven mumbled. "He knocked the black right off ya!"

"That's racist..." Rena mumbled in a dazed state, as her and TJ stumbled to their feet.

Locking eyes with the enemy, Sven let a smirk grow across his muzzle. "Alright, Vince, you're all clear! Shoot him!"

"Fire in the hole!" Vince shouted at the top of his lungs, as the rocket launcher finally locked on to Nail. With a click, a rocket sailed from the business end of the rocket launcher, dead set on blowing Nail up.

Nail quickly broke into a sprint away from the rocket, accelerating at a breakneck speed before leaping into the air and grabbing the top rail of a teleporter. Like swinging on monkey bars, Nail used his momentum to carry him through another teleporter on the ground, with the rocket in hot pursuit. Nail emerged from the teleporter on the ground, before getting to his feet and hopping over the teleporter, the rocket following him out and doing a loop in air before following him once more. In a dead sprint towards the group, the four were unable to believe the turn of events, as the rocket had now been turned against them.

"Are you farking kidding me?! Run!" Rena shouted, fear lacing her voice. As TJ doubled back, Vince accidentally bumped into Rena, before swinging his rocket launcher behind him and striking Sven in the muzzle, stunning all three of them.

Punching his fist into his palm, Nail threw all of his weight behind a haymaker, drilling Rena, Vince, and Sven clean in the muzzle, sending them crashing to the floor. In a fluid motion, Nail slid between TJ's legs, skirting the gap cleanly.

Looking up, TJ noticed the rocket barreling down on him, before covering his privates out of instinct and preemptively whimpering. "Oh God, not like this..."

Thankfully, the rocket also passed cleanly between TJ's legs, making the driver let out the heaviest breath he ever held. "Oh thank God, I thought I was..."

TJ turned around to notice Nail hop into the teleporter that Rena first flew out of too quickly for the rocket to follow. It was at that point that TJ noticed a pile of propane tanks behind the first aid kits, making TJ's eyes go wide as he began to sprint away. All TJ could do was finish off his sentence.

"FUUUCKED!"

With a grand series of violent explosions, the four were quickly flung straight up into the air as Nail rolled through his teleporter, the explosions illuminating his silhouette as he slowly stood up. As he fully rose up, Nail turned around to notice Vince, Sven, and Rena all fall to the ground, defeated and unwilling to stand back up. Realizing that there was still one more person up in the air, Nail began to softly push a concrete barricade with his foot, adjusting it slightly.

With a fading scream increasing in volume, Nail watched as TJ finally fell from the sky, before landing groin first on the concrete barrier. With a sickening splat, TJ's eyes shot wide open and misted instantly, Nail looking at the driver as he shook his head, seemingly disappointed. "Why won't you just kill me..." TJ whimpered, before falling to the floor.

Back at the control booth, all three spectators' jaws were stuck in the dropped position. Giichi, Shelia, and Mira could hardly believe how much of a one-sided fight it was. There was an air of silence that hung over the booth before Giichi spoke up. "Uh... I guess that's that then. We should probably go down to help the... oh crap."

Before anyone could question the sand cat, Giichi's finger pointed to a drunken Will, stumbling towards Nail with a smirk of drunken determination. Well, the smirk was invisible to all as he had just put his helmet on. "Mira, is Will in any shape to fight?"

Mira scoffed. "In that thing? Nail better start praying."

As Nail surveyed the battlefield, his sixth sense told him to suddenly duck. Barley missing a barrel that flew overhead, Nail sized up his new opponent. With a face flushed drunken red, Will smirked at the canine. "Hey, Nail! Why don't you hicc pick on someone your own size?" If it weren't for the live subtitles in front of Nail thanks to his projected HUD, Will would have been unintelligible.

Nail did not react, but understood that there was still one more opponent to take care of. Cracking his knuckles, Nail eyed the human and his suit. It was sleek, shiny, and powerful looking. It seemed like a perfect test against Nail's power armor. The human lumbered over to the canine, his seeming less and less drunk with each step. Despite his inebriated state, Will suddenly took flight with the suit's boosters and charged Nail with his shoulder.

To Giichi, Shelia, and Mira's surprise, Nail was sent flying backward from the impact, crashing through the dilapidated metal and barriers. Will still kept up his speed, rolling while picking Sven's shotgun up off the ground and quickly loading three training shells into the weapon.

Nail only let out a grunt before getting back to his feet. Noticing the human loading the weapon, Nail quickly picked up a small fragmented piece of steel and blocked the first shot in the nick of time. Despite being beyond wasted, Will knew to not waste his ammo. In the split-second it took for Will to come up with a new plan, Nail suddenly tossed the steel at him, making Will discharge a shell out of shock.

The pellets hit Nail square in the chest, but the armor simply shrugged off the shot. Of course, the impact made Nail wince slightly before he continued his sprint. Just as the drunken human got the focused canine in his sights, Nail swatted the weapon away, Will firing one final shot into the air by accident before the weapon flew from his hands. Will was no TJ however, and quickly recovered by leaning into the momentum and punching Nail in the muzzle with his other hand. The canine collapsed to the ground, but rolled out of the way before Will could take him out with a stomp.

"C'mere lil' doggie! I've got a treat for ya!" Will bellowed, his drunken state amplifying his voice as he charged the canine once more. Nail stood his ground and locked hands with the human as he tried to charge him again, his feet scraping on the ground as his boots sparked up. During the grappling, Nail noticed a small blue light coming from Will's back.

Will quickly used his power and tossed Nail once more, sending the canine flying. Thanks to both the suit and his reflexes, Nail landed on his feet. As Nail stared down Will, who was preparing for another charge, Giichi swore that he saw a very slight smile tug at Nail's mouth.

Mimicking a train horn, Will took flight for a third time, while Nail simply stood in place. It was a nail-biter in the control room as Will was only picking up speed, while all what Nail did was widen his stance. Just as Will was about to strike Nail, the canine activated his trap.

Side-stepping like a bullfighter side-steps a bull, Nail dodged Will by the slightest of hairs. With reaction times akin to a robot, Nail quickly grabbed the blue light on Will's back and yanked it out in one fluid motion. What he yanked out was the battery.

In an instant, the drunken human face planted and skidded across the ground, before finally coming to a rest at the feet of the four injured test subjects, who were finally fully upright. Well, almost all were upright. TJ was leaning on Sven as one hand firmly held his muti-beaten manhood in sheer pain. "Oh, dammit! It's all gone black! Did he yank my power cell?!" Will's shouts were confirmed by Nail silently stepping on the back of his neck, showcasing his dominance and victory.

Nail won, not that there was ever any doubt.

Giichi breathed a sigh of relief while Shelia and Mira traded dumbfounded looks. "Man, that's some awesome armor, huh?" Giichi's question went unanswered as he exited the control booth with the girls in tow.

Walking up to Nail, Giichi wore a wide smile. "Great job, Nail! We got some amazing data from this training session! How does the armor feel?"

"Good." Nail's voice was as monotone as ever.

"Well, that's great! I'll run a few diagnostic scans on the armor in a bit, get all the results we need," Giichi replied, not bothered by Nail's lack of emotion in the slightest. Looking over at the test subjects, Giichi watched as Mira and Shelia interacted with them.

"Mira! Help! It's dark in the suit and it's cold and uncomfortable and I feel like I'm gonna vomit!" Will pleaded. Mira chuckled and quickly took the battery from Nail before inserting it back into Will's suit. No sooner than the suit came back to life did Will rip the helmet off, toss it with all of his might and proceed to lose his lunch on the floor. Mira only patted his back in support. Her ears perked up at the sound of pain not a second later. Looking up, Will accidentally nailed TJ in the groin with his helmet, making it the ninth time he was struck below the belt in the span of roughly six minutes. More tears spilled out of TJ's already swollen eyes as he crumpled to the ground for the last time, his only saving grace being that the test had thankfully ended.

As laughter surrounded TJ, he only had one question on his mind. "What cruel god would do this to him?"

...

What? Don't look at me.