AN: As promised, the tags to season two have begun. Once I got going on this one, I banged it out super fast. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review!
WARNING: implied potential suicidal ideation of someone else from another person's POV
It was pointless to say that it had been a tough year for everyone. In all of his forty some odd years, JT had never had a year quite like 2020. He knew the same was true for Bright, even though the kid had been through more in his years than JT had, despite being a decade or so younger than JT. The kid had been through too much, actually, and it seemed like he was only ever going through more. A year earlier, that wouldn't have bothered JT in the slightest, but now, despite his best efforts, he'd actually started to care about the kid. And now, something was seriously wrong with him, and no one knew what it was.
JT had promised Gil that he would look after Bright while their fearless leader recovered from his stab wound, but he could only do that if Bright was willing to open up. And the kid wouldn't do it. And he wasn't seeing his therapist anymore. And he was eating and sleeping even less. To say that JT was concerned was the understatement of the century, but every time he awkwardly tried to get the kid to open up to him - which was hard, because JT was bad at that kind of thing, always had been - Bright completely closed himself off, even more so than he ever had before.
Dani couldn't get through to him either. She and JT had talked about it, and both had talked to Gil about it. The kid wasn't talking to Gil either. Something else had happened between Gil's stabbing and the end of quarantine, and no one knew what it was. Bright, being only a consultant, hadn't been deemed essential to work. The kid had been stuck up in his loft, with no one but his parakeet for company. The pandemic could not have had worse timing. If Gil hadn't been stuck in the hospital the whole time because of the stabbing, then there was no doubt that the kid would've stayed with him. The most contact they'd had with Bright over quarantine was through FaceTime and the occasional video of Sunshine skateboarding or doing some other trick that Bright had taught her in his boredom. But even though he kid's smiles with his bird seemed genuine, there was an exhaustion hidden behind it that only got worse. Everyone was worried about him, and he wouldn't tell them what was going on.
Which was why Bright's plan was even more dangerous than it would've been under other circumstances.
"You want to do what?" JT asked. He had to have heard him wrong. There was no way that Bright would come up with a plan so dangerous and expect JT to go along with it.
"It'll work," Bright insisted. "He'll be up there, and we can get him. Edrisa's already on board and on her way there."
"Edrisa? She's the ME, she has no reason whatsoever to be a part of this guy's arrest," JT said. Clearly, the kid had only gotten Edrisa in on it because he knew that she would never say no to him, and if Edrisa was already on her way to the location, then JT would be forced to go there to protect her. That was more manipulative than Bright usually was, but then again, he'd been off lately. JT shouldn't have been surprised. He would have to bring it up with Gil and see what the kid's surrogate dad wanted him to do about it, but for the time being, there was nothing that JT could do. He would have to go along with Bright's terrifying plan.
Bright just looked up at him, his eyes big and blue and looking so innocent, despite the manipulation he'd just pulled off.
"Fine," JT muttered, running his hands over his face as he groaned. "Grab Dani. Let's get going before Edrisa gets herself into trouble." He shook his head and rolled his eyes. This was one of the dumbest ideas that Bright had had in a long time, and that was saying something.
JT's apprehension over the idea only grew as they arrived at the apartment building where Bright had predicted their killer would show up. Edrisa was, thankfully, waiting in her car for their arrival. At least she had the brains to wait for backup.
"I'm gonna get up onto the ledge, and he'll be around to join me soon enough," Bright said with a shrug, as if he weren't terrifying everyone around him.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Dani asked, beating JT to the punch.
"Of course," Bright replied with a scoff. "I'll be fine." He shrugged, and didn't wait for any of them to respond before he was making his way up the stairs to the apartment that they would be hiding in.
"I don't like this," JT muttered, just loud enough for Dani and Edrisa to hear him.
"He'll be fine," Edrisa said with a quick wave of her hand. "He's Bright, he's always fine." She turned and dashed up the stairs after him. JT could only wish that she were right.
"He'll be okay," Dani said, but with much more concern than Edrisa. "We're here, we're not gonna let him do anything stupid. I'll get him tethered and he won't have the opportunity to do anything stupid," she said, her eyes set with determination.
JT took a deep breath and nodded. She was right. He and Dani were there to look after Bright, it was all going to be just fine.
"Besides," Dani continued as they made their way up the stairs. "He's been weird lately, but he's not..." she trailed off for a moment. "He wouldn't do that." It sounded much more like she was trying to convince herself than words she actually believed. "At least, not with us watching."
"That's why we're always watching," JT replied. And he was right, in a sense. They couldn't truly always be with Bright, but they could keep his phone bombarded with text messages at almost all hours, making sure that the kid always woke up to a text from Gil or Dani or Edrisa or even JT. They never left him alone too long at the precinct, and even made sure that they called him in on cases they normally wouldn't, just to keep an eye on him.
JT didn't want to admit it, but quarantine had been terrifying. JT went to bed every night in fear that he would wake up to the worst news imaginable. He could barely keep himself from pulling the kid into his arms and never letting go the first time he saw him at the precinct once he'd been allowed back to work. Instead, he gave him a good pat on the back that lasted a few moments longer than maybe it should have, but Bright hadn't seemed to mind. If anything, the kid seemed to have wanted more. He'd been alone for months, and on top of that, he was just touch starved in general. Maybe JT should've just held him for a bit.
It was a team effort, but they weren't going to let the kid do something stupid, something that couldn't be fixed, something that was irreversible, no matter how lost he got. JT just wished that the kid would understand that he had a team now, people who loved him and wanted to help. But he wouldn't let anyone in. Bright was shutting them out more than he ever had before, and yet, at the same time, he visibly ached for them more than ever. It was a dichotomy that JT just couldn't understand. If he were like Bright, a freaking genius when it came to psychology, then maybe he would be able to figure out why someone would be acting so desperately to be cared for, and then run every time that care got close. But JT wasn't like Bright. He wasn't a genius. He'd always done well in school, but he chose the military over college, and he'd never taken a psychology class in his life. Despite the traumas of combat that he'd seen overseas, he knew nothing of what the trauma that Bright dealt with on a daily basis was really like. Everyone's trauma impacted them differently, and Bright's impacted him a way that JT just couldn't understand, no matter how hard he tried to. All he could do was be there for the kid, but the damn kid wouldn't let him.
When Bright climbed out onto that ledge, JT's heart stopped. For just a moment, he saw nothing but the traumatized kid that he'd begrudgingly come to love, and nothing else. He didn't see a profiler who was giving his all to the case no matter what, or the adult man who could make his own decisions. JT only saw a kid a solid decade his junior, riddled with trauma, who'd been acting even more unsteady and unhinged, standing on a ledge and looking for everything in the world like he wanted to jump.
JT set his brow and forced himself to take a breath. Bright wasn't going to jump. He wasn't. He wouldn't - not with people watching.
Edrisa was already working on her knots, and Dani was busy connecting the ropes to Bright, who was just standing there, looking out over the city, that distant look in his eyes that he was getting more and more frequently. JT gripped the rope with everything he had. He was not going to let the kid fall, even if he jumped. He looked over at Dani.
"We've got him, he's gonna be fine," she whispered, just loud enough for JT to hear her. Edrisa was too busy muttering to herself about the knots to hear, and besides, she didn't see what JT and Dani and Gil saw. It wasn't that she wasn't smart enough to see it, since Edrisa was probably smarter than all of them, even Bright, but just that she didn't want to see it, so she didn't. Edrisa only saw in Bright what she wanted to see.
As their killer came out, and Bright starting doing his thing, JT only got more and more concerned. He knew it was Bright's job to do exactly what he was doing, but it still scared him. He swore the kid was getting more and more unhinged by the minute.
And then there was a knife, and a scuffle, and they barely had Bright secured and he slipped and it was a miracle that JT had already been holding on as tightly as he could. JT just kept holding on praying for Bright to just hurry it up, they got the guy, there was no need for Bright to psychoanalyze himself while hanging off the edge of a building, or take a phone call from his serial killing abusive father, and yet, Bright did both.
"Bright, come on!" Dani urged him. JT saw the kid finally slip his phone back into his pocket, then work with their efforts to pull him and their killer up. As much as he hated to, JT helped to pull the killer in first, since Bright was indeed still tethered, and thus less likely to die if he fell. But the moment that JT had passed the killer into Dani's arms - and handcuffs - he was grabbing Bright and dragging him through the window.
"What the hell, man?" he asked. He knew his voice sounded gruff, but only because Bright was really scaring him. "Why did you let that go on so long? Freakin' analyzing yourself and good and evil while you're hangin' onto a guy on a ledge? Then answering your phone while Dani and I are trying to pull your scrawny ass back to safety? Are you trying to kill yourself?" JT went silent, but let his final question ring through the air. Edrisa had untied the knots and left, for once reading the room and acting accordingly. JT's question may have been asked rhetorically, but he was in fact serious.
"I'm sorry, I just... I'm sorry," Bright replied. He ducked his head slightly and looked away, but JT could see the guilt in his eyes. The kid knew he'd messed up, not only by putting himself in jeopardy, but their killer. JT knew that Bright felt more guilty about the risk to the killer more than the risk to himself, as appalling as that was.
"I don't know what's going on with you, but you can talk to me," JT insisted. He ducked his own head, trying to catch Bright's gaze. The kid closed his eyes instead. "I know there's something going on, and you're not talking to anyone, not even to Gil. He'd worried, Dani's worried. I'm worried. Whatever it is, you can talk to one of us, or all of us."
"No, I can't," Bright muttered, his voice breaking. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. It looked suspiciously like he was blinking tears away, but JT couldn't tell for sure in the low lighting. "I'm sorry but I can't." Bright brushed past him and started down the stairs.
JT wasn't about to just let it go. He bolted after the kid, and grabbed ahold of his arm when he caught up to him on the second landing. It was a light grip, one that Bright could've broken without even trying, but he didn't. Bright stopped immediately where he was, but kept firmly turned away from JT. He was taking, deep, even, measured breaths, the way one did when trying to keep emotions in check.
"Yes you can," JT gently said. He didn't pressure Bright to turn around, but he did bring his hand up to Bright's opposite shoulder, making it easier for the kid to turn around, if that was what he wanted. "No matter what it is, you can. You don't have to right now, but you can, I promise." JT didn't promise things lightly. His word was his bond. If he said something, he meant it, and he knew that Bright knew that.
"I wish I could," he whispered. Bright turned ever so slightly, like he wanted to turn and face JT and give in to the comfort that JT was desperately trying to provide, but he was scared. JT didn't know why he was scared, but the kid was, and he couldn't let that get it in the way.
"Come 'ere," JT muttered, then gently turned Bright towards him, and into his arms. JT wrapped his arms around the much smaller man, and Bright practically melted. He gripped JT's coat with everything he had, and JT could hear him taking shuddering breaths. If it weren't for JT's arms around him, he wasn't sure if the kid would still be standing up. "No matter what it is, it's gonna be okay. I've got your back," he insisted. It was the first time that JT had ever hugged the kid, but he could tell how much Bright needed it.
JT wasn't sure how long they stood there, but he wasn't going to break the embrace first. No matter how much JT hated physical contact, Bright needed this, and he would be damned if he didn't provide it, at least this once. It was the sound of the door opening at the bottom of the stairwell and the voice that accompanied it that finally broke their embrace.
"Bright? JT?" Dani called up. They must have been standing there for a while. That was okay with JT.
"All good!" he shouted down as Bright pulled away. JT pretended not to notice as Bright rubbed away at his tears.
"I won't tell if you won't," Bright said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but wasn't quite as fake as most of his recent smiles had been. Maybe that long embrace really had helped.
"I got your back," JT repeated. He clapped his hand on Bright's shoulder again, then followed him down the stairs and out to their cars, where a very confused Dani was waiting with an equally confused Edrisa, and a very exhausted looking killer. JT didn't care about the killer.
"All good?" Dani quietly asked him.
JT looked back over at Bright, who gave him a nod and a half-hearted smile.
"Not all, but good."