School had just ended. Kyle, Stan, and Kenny were all walking outside.
"I am going to go into woods" said Stan.
"Woods are too spooky! Do not go in there!" said Kyle, who was very worried about the spookiness of the woods.
"Screw the spookiness, I am going to the woods" said Stan.
"Yeah go to the woods" said Kenny.
"SHUT THE FRICK UP KENNY!" yelled Kyle.
Kyle pulled out a dreidel (cause he's Jewish) and stabbed it in Kenny's eye. Kenny started screaming but it was no use. The dreidel went down through his body and chopped off the hooded boy's ding dong. Not wanting to live without his penis Kenny died.
"HOLY SHIT YOU"
"Yeah I killed Kenny now don't go in the woods" said Kyle.
"I will not go in woods... but only if YOU go in woods" said Stan.
Kyle made a very not happy face.
"Fine, I will go" said Kyle.
"Excellent, I will go jack it in San Diego" said Stan.
Stan left to get wet while Kyle just stood there. He did not want to go into woods. There were many bears there, and what if the bears hated Jewish people? Then Kyle would probably die, and he did not want to die, especially not being killed by bears. Death by bears would be better than death by Cartman but that was not saying much. Kyle sighed.
"I will go in woods. At least there is no Fat Boy in woods" said Kyle.
Kyle walked and walked until he was no longer at school. Since when you are walking you are not where you started. And Kyle was away from where he started. So the walking worked.
He walked more, hence the new paragraph, but he was still not at woods. This made Kyle very angry.
"I am so angry because I am not at woods!" said Kyle.
Suddenly a crazy man burst in.
"Hi there I'm Mr. Exposition and I'm here to say that the woods is very close. Do not give up, like I said you are very close. You can still walk to it. But you will see your worst fear in woods. It will make woods even spookier. But you are Jewish, and you killed Jesus, so you fear nothing. So go to the woods my friend, and you may even find yourself in the process. SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK"
With that the crazy man jumped off and was gone.
"That was very bizarre. But he told me to go into woods and I am little wussy so I am still going into woods" said Kyle, like a real wussy.
Kyle continued his walking. He was very fast, but he was not running. Like I said, he was walking. And there is a big difference between running and walking. Finally there was no more building.
KYLE WAS IN THE FREAKING WOODS!
"Oh my god I am in woods!" said Kyle. But then he realized something.
"Oh no the crazy guy said I would face my worst fear in woods, and I do not want to face my worst fear. But he is crazy guy, so why should I believe him? And only weirdos say SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK" said Kyle.
Kyle noticed that the ground was very soft.
"The ground is very soft" said Kyle.
Kyle layed down on the very soft ground. He closed his eyes and began to dream of Jewish things. In this dream he was being romanced by Jewish stud Seth Rogen, who had an eight-pack. That's right not a six-pack, an eight-pack! Seth Rogen does not do drugs so he is very healthy and was more ripped than Arnold Schwarzenegger could ever hope to be. This made Arnold cry. Arnold crying made Kyle sad and Kyle got up.
"Oh no Arnold crying has made me very sad. Maybe that is my worst fear. I need to leave woods" said Kyle.
"Not so fast Kahl" a voice said from the Jewish boy.
Cartman turned around to see Fat Boy himself, MOTHER FRIGGING CARTMAN!
"Hello Kahl, I am your worst fear. That I only bully you because I am secretly in love with you. That every day I jerk off myself off to your haht Jewish body, that I want to shove my ding dong up your butthole and make Rule 34 artists jizz their pants. Well I say yes to all these things, so let's do it. Do you know what time it is Kahl? It's sexy time. And I want to spend sexy time with you" said Cartman.
"This is very creepy, don't make me #metoo you!" Kyle threatened.
"I do not care, your butthole is mine" said Cartman.
Kyle was very frightened. He was so frightened he peed his pants. Cartman saw this and started laughing he fell on the floor. Kyle noticed this and ran super fast. He was no longer walking, he was running! As Kyle ran he saw a very attractive woman. She had blonde hair and was standing in the woods.
"We must do this quickly. I am not just a werebunny, but I am a Satanic werebunny! When I am in my werebunny form I have an insatiable bloodlust and i am even hornier for Satan than Lil Nas X is. We must run before the full moon appears" said the woman.
"But wait isn't the full moon right there?" asked Kyle.
The woman looked up and sure enough the full woman was right up.
"No.. must control Lo..."
Before the woman could finish the change began. She clutched herself in pain as a white tail burst through her pants. Looking up at her hands she saw her hands were now covered in brown fur, but then covered by white gloves. She felt a pinch as her teeth suddenly became buck toothed. She writhed in pain as the changes continued. Although her blonde hair remained intact her body was now covered in brown hair. To finish it off her clothes were replaced by a shorts jersey.
Kyle backed in horror, the beast... smiling. No longer was there a girl. Standing in her place was the evil, satanic... Lola Bunny.
"What's up jew?" asked Lola.
"How... how did you know I was a jew?" Kyle asked with horror.
"I can smell it. And that means you're going to hell. I'm gonna have so much fun sending you to Satan" Lola said seductively.
Kyle backed away but Lola just walked towards him. She held up her hands and Kyle felt something run down his mouth. Something red.
"Oh shit I'm coughing blood" Kyle thought.
But Kyle didn't say anything cause he was too busy dying.
The blood came out of Kyle more violently until blood ran down every part of his body and he was vomiting red chunks. Lola walked towards him and he seemingly stopped. He wanted to run away but he was too busy transfixed by her beauty. All Jews have a strict no-furry code but Kyle was too busy staring at bunny boobies and coughing blood to care.
Lola pulled out a sacrificial dagger and ran it straight through Kyle's butthole. It came out his ding dong and Kyle fell down, dead. Lola moaned in ecstasy and bathed in Kyles blood.
"Fuck that's good" moaned Lola (yeah that's right I swore but Lola's evil so deal with it)
Cartman walked over to Lola and obviously wasn't happy.
"Hey, I was supposed to kill Kahl!" moaned Fat Boy.
Lola smirked.
"Wanna play some basketball?" Lola asked.
Before Fat Boy could answer Lola walked over to him. Grabbing his head she pulled hard and ripped it clean off. Using her dank baller skills she threw Fat Boy's head and made a sick three pointer.
"Slam dunk bitches!" said Lola.
Suddenly Mr. Garrison walked into the woods.
"Well hello there sexy" said Mr. Garrison.
"You shouldn't be near me, I'm dangerous" said Lola.
"This is South Park bitch, I've done it with werebears. I've jerked off to Space Jam all the time, you think I'm afraid of a werebunny?"
Lola smirked and walked over to Garrison. She put her finger down Garrison's pants.
"How are you so good with gloves?" asked Mr. Garrison.
Lola smirked and went down. As Garrison let out some interesting noises everything went dark and the blonde woman woke up in the woods.
"What... what happened last night?" asked the woman.
The woman looked in disgust to see that her body was covered in liquids both red and white.
"I hate this town" the woman groaned.