An AU where Feyre sacrifices herself for the world instead of Rhys.
Feyre POV:
I stood there, next to the Cauldron that was in pieces and I realized. The world was falling apart. Because as evil it's power could be when wielded by an evil person, as good and life-giving it could be when done so by someone good. It was truly neutral. And without, the world would come crashing, because it was the power that held Prythan together. I stared at the pieces of metal on the ground, and I knew what I had to do. I had to. Suddenly, the warm and safe feeling of my mate was close by me and I looked up. By my side stood Rhys, beaten up and bloody, the stars in his eyes put out. My heart broke at the sight of him. He was drained of magic and strength, to an extent where he was barely standing. My eyes were burning with tears. Tears that would fall for him and my sisters, for the family I got, and the family that I chose. For the greatest of loves. I shut my adamant shield tight, could not let him see what was about to happen. "What is happening, why is the ground shaking?" he asked, looking at me with horror and pain in his gaze. "It's the Cauldron. It bound the world together, I need to repair it. If I don't, the world will collapse." I answered him, not telling him about my plans, but offering some sort of explanation. An apology. He looked at me with a stern look and held out his hand. "You can channel me. Use my power to repair the Cauldron" he said determinately. For a brief moment, hope flustered in my chest, and I saw the face of our son before my inner eye, but then I looked at Rhys, really looked, and reality hit me. He wasn't strong enough. The battlefield had drained him. It was him or me, and when it was up to me, it sure as hell was not gonna be him. But he couldn't know that, not yet. I felt my soul shatter when I nodded at him, lied to the person I loved the most in all the world, even if I did it to save him.
I walked closer to what was left of the Cauldron and when we stood right next to it, I wasn't afraid. I knew that what waited was not bad or painful, and one day I might see him again. I looked up at him, wallowed in his violet gaze. For the last time in my life, I reached up, put his blood-covered face in my hands. Even the blood, the mud and the total and utter exhaustion in his expressions, couldn't hide his beauty. Then, as I reached up and kissed him, I let a little bit of Kallias' power slide into him, freezing him, just enough for him not to be able to move, but not enough to truly harm him. Then I spoke, my voice twisted with regret and grief. "I'm so sorry, but you're not strong enough, Rhys, and I can't kill you. I won't. I couldn't live with that, ever. I love you so, so much, I think I always will. Please, tell the others how much I love them. And Rhys. Don't let this destroy you. Live a long life. Then I will see you again. One day" and with that I pressed a kiss to his frozen lips, saw the absolute terror in his eyes as he tried to fight the enchantment, to get to me, even as he couldn't move a muscle. I head Az scream in the distance, as he landed at the opening of the formation, but he was too far away to stop me. I threw myself towards the Cauldron and as my fingers locked themselves onto the sides of the broken metal vessel, I locked eyes with Azriel, who was screaming, unable to do anything. I mouthed I'm sorry, and then the power swallowed me whole. I felt it as every bit of power was ripped out of me, as it flowed into the Cauldron, repairing the wreckage, restoring it to something closer to its past glory, than the monstrosity that Amren broke. I don't know how, but I could somehow feel that the version of the Cauldron that emerged from me, would be good. It would be the vessel from the picture at the Spring Court.
As my powers left me, the magic I used to hold Rhys bound, left me, he was able to move again. I could vaguely hear him scream through the bond, just slightly feel his hands on me, trying to pry me away from the Cauldron, shaking me in panic. I ached to be with him, wanted nothing more in my entire life, than to be with him, but I couldn't. not if it meant everyone and everything, including him, would die. And as my legs gave out and the final pieces of the Cauldron slid back together, I fell to the floor and the darkness surrounded me.
It was a familiar darkness. A darkness which I had felt before, when I had saved Tamlin that day Under the Mountain. It had claimed me a long ago, but I had been too stubborn to be claimed. I still was. I was clinging to life, holding on with everything I had. Just a little longer. Until longer was too long.
Rhysand POV:
When I landed beside Feyre, she looked distraught. Her eyes were wide, but a small flame burned when she looked at me. One that was only meant for me, lit by me. Everything hurt right then and there, but when she looked at me, it all slid a little into the background. Then I felt the ground rumble again and looked at her, letting the fear and confusion shine through. "What is happening?" I asked her. Her eyes were wide with fear and, I presumed, sorrow from her father's death. Then she told me, what I deep down might already have known: the Cauldron needed to be repaired. My mental hands reached out to my core, felt how small it was, and then I said determinately "Channel me". I knew I would be enough. But it would also be all of me. I didn't care, though. All that mattered was that She lived to see the next day. That everyone did. She looked at me intensely for a few seconds, then she nodded, took my hand and led me to the sad remainders of the powerful Cauldron. She turned to face me, her gray-blue eyes filled with love. So much love, that I could hardly breathe, and I almost gasped. Even right now, she was the much beautiful being in the world. She was mine. My mate. So when she reached up, put her warm hands around my face, I just enjoyed her touch one last time. I thought nothing of it. I hated to leave her. Hated all the days we wouldn't see together, but I didn't have a choice.
She kissed me, and her full lips felt like the incarnation of home, but then I felt it. Too late, I felt the ice of the other High Lord flushed through me, and I couldn't move. Then it dawned on me: she knew. She knew I couldn't do it, and she had decided to give up her life instead. Absolute and all-devouring panic filled me, as she told me her goodbye ". "I'm so sorry, but you're not strong enough, Rhys, and I can't kill you. I won't. I couldn't live with that, ever. I love you so, so much, I think I always will. Please, tell the others how much I love them. And Rhys. Don't let this destroy you. Live a long life. Then I will see you again. One day". As she spoke, her voice broke and tears streamed down her cheeks, leaving little rivers of silver in their wake. My whole being tried to fight against the spell, but I couldn't move. When she kissed me one last time, my insides broke. She was leaving me. To save the world. And there was nothing, nothing at all, that I could do about it. In my mind I called, screamed out to Azriel, to come, to stop her, and I felt him answer. But as Feyre walked closer to the Cauldron, not even the swift movements of my brother could stop her. I could hear him yell as he landed in the opening, but no sooner was her hand on the side of the Cauldron, and it was too late. Her head jerked back as her power flowed into the Cauldron, repairing the metal in a flash of light. My heart ripped to pieces as I screamed and screamed. But only when she was weak enough for me to move, could I get to her. And then it was all too late. Azriel's efforts was for nothing, but as I screamed at her through the bond, the only response I got, was a feeling of sadness that flowed back through the bond. I shook her, desperately tried to pry her away, but her grip was firm, and I was weal. We all were.
The seconds before she collapsed were the longest seconds of my life. Then her knees hit the floor and beam radiated off the Cauldron, so good and great that I knew I could ever have been her that made it. An artist's touch. But I didn't see that. I saw only her. An excruciating pain burned inside me, as it felt like a hot knife had just cut me away from the person, I loved the most. Needed the most. I screamed and cried as I fell by her side. Her eyes were staring blankly at nothing, her ribcage not moving an inch. My tears were falling too quickly for me to wipe them away and they landed on her cheeks, as I cradled to body of my dead mate. Azriel had fallen to his knees a few feet away, staring silently at his High Lady and friend. The friend he hadn't been able to save.
I felt like I was gonna die. The pain was just too much, too intense. I shook her shoulders, called her name, but little did it help. She was gone.
I vaguely noticed that Nesta and Cassian had managed to stumble over here, and that Nesta was wailing on the other side of Feyre's body. Elain and Mor, alongside the other High Lords arrived one after one, and I looked at them, not caring if I had to plead on my knees, whatever I had to do.
"Please, you have to help me. Help me resurrect her. She saved all of us! Again!" my voice didn't sound like mine, but one who had seen a true hell and was terrified of going back.
Slowly, Tarquin stepped forward, a tiny splinter of blue in his hollowed hand. Tears in his eyes, he placed the shred of power on her chest, and it slid effortlessly into her body. Then Helion and Kallias followed up, then Tamlin, almost as broken as myself, his undying love for Feyre tearing at him. I grabbed a chunk, didn't care how big, out of my own core, and pressed it down into her chest, watching as the darkness oozed down and was absorbed by her lifeless form. Then only one remained. I looked up at Beron, the only one who might choose not to save her. In my mind I was screaming at her, pleading her to hold on. Not to leave me. Not again.
Beron walked up to me, and I could see his disdain shining bright like the sun on a cold autumn day, when he whispered to me, so low only I could hear it "She should have died that day Under the Mountain. She never really came back. She is where she belongs". Then he turned away and started walking towards the exit. I didn't even register my own scream, but a wall of darkness, a starless night, shot up, blocking the way out. He was not gonna be the one to cost her everything. "She saved you. She saved all of us. Had she not repaired the Cauldron, then we would all have died as the world fell apart. She saved us all again, and you, you, wont repay her with her life?" The other Hight Lords, who had stood silently by, now parted, to make way for another person. Tamlin. He walked up tu Beron without a moment of hesitation in his steps and grabbed him by the throat. His eyes were burning with a fire, green and everlasting. All-consuming. With an icy calmness he spoke. "You will be hunted down. You bloodline will be hunted down, until there is no one left of your line. I will personally see to it. Unless you help her now". He snarled at the much older man, his golden frame towering over the other. Even I would have been terrified of the High Lord of the Spring Court right then, but I was hurting too much to care. Only when Beron hesitantly let go of a small, golden flame, did my shoulders fall. As the last piece of power fell into place, I held my breath. I prayed it hadn't been too long.
Feyre POV:
I couldn't fight anymore. The darkness was too welcoming, and the crushing realization that no one was coming for me was too rough. But I couldn't let myself give up. I saw Mor's face before me, twisted with grief, her usually so glistening dark eyes, matte with sorrow. I saw Azriel, beating himself up every day for the rest of his life for not saving me, giving himself the blame. Cassian, rageful with grief, destroying everything in his path for relief. My sisters, blank expressions as they lost both their father and their sister in the same battle, for the same cause. And Rhys. Oh, Rhys. I saw his expression just before I gave all my power to repair the Cauldron, felt the terror and panic that radiated from his eyes. I imagined him grieving every day for the rest of his life. I didn't know what it meant for Fae to lose their bonded mate, but I could only imagine what it felt like to lose him, and I shook myself. I hated myself for leaving him. For leaving all of them. Then I saw my fathers face before me, saw him smile at me with sorrow in his eyes, and the future I had imagined for myself when I was human still, passed by my dream-like gaze. I saw myself, painting in a small attic, my father carving little figures out of all kinds of wood. Then it hit me: what was I waiting for? This had been my destiny all along. I died that day Under the Mountain, and death had been meant for me ever since, had been waiting for what was stolen from it.
I started walking. It wasn't a choice as much as it was a necessity. My legs moved in the direction of my father, my heart beating blissfully. Peacefully. I had almost reached him, almost taken his hand, when I saw it. A flicker of light, like the smallest star on a pitch-black night sky. I knew it was Rhys. I looked at my father for just a moment. Felt the feeling of serenity I knew would come if I went with him, but I couldn't. I couldn't let my selfish hunger for peace hurt the people that I loved. And I wanted to live. Wanted to be with Rhys and my sisters and my chosen family. I wanted to see the son that the Bone Carver had showed me. So, I ran towards the light. Fought with every inch of me, to get back to the people that I loved, who still walked the earth. Then the blinding light swallowed me whole, just like the darkness had done it.
Rhysand POV:
It felt like the weight of a thousand skies had been lifted off my back, when she gasped, and her eyes fluttered open. I clasped her to me to hard that she gasped again, looking around the room like the doe at the end of the hunter's arrow. Her gray-blue eyes were wide open as her gaze fixed on me and she let out a small cry. Slowly, while I radiated gratitude towards them, the High Lords started leaving, going to tend to their own, but one remained. Tamlin stood hestitantly behind me, but suddenly I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at him. He looked like someone who had been given back life quite literally. His shoulders were looser, his expression a little more peaceful than before. Then he said to me, words I will never forget "Be happy. I know you will take care of her. I wish you nothing but good". Then he shot me a small, reluctant smile, turned on his heel and walked away. That was when I realized: He had given me permission. Let her go. He had realized that it was enough for him that she was alive, even if she wasn't his. A small smile lingered in the corner of my mouth, when I turned to face my mate again.
Even if she looked shaken up, she was here. Alive. I touched her face in sheer disbelief, feeling her warm skin under my fingertips. An overwhelming need to get her as close as possible came over me, and I hugged her so tight I could without hurting her, my heart felt with an icy fear of this ever happening again. If I ever had to lose her again, I would certainly die.