Ren felt the oppressive gloom of Mementos wash over him. He had lost count of how many times he had crossed over into this place, and yet he had never managed to shake the feeling that Mementos was alive. Which wasn't entirely unbelievable now that he thought about it. It was the collective unconscious, the place from which all Palaces were formed; the possibility that the cognitive world had some sort of sentience of its own wasn't without merit, especially considering the weird veins and bones that coursed through the subway tunnels.

Ren shook his head, clearing his thoughts. The Phantom Thieves hadn't come here so he could ruminate on the mysteries of Mementos. Not this time, at least.

With the deadline for Sae Niijima's calling card only four days away, time was running out for them to take care of any remaining "side quests," as Futaba called them. Once they had neutralized Sae's Palace, the Phantom Thieves would be forced to disband, at Akechi's insistence.

Before that happened, there was still an old enemy that they'd have to face. One who had been stalking them nonstop during their time in Mementos. One who was impossible to take on alone and had the potential to kill them all if one single mistake was made.

The Reaper.

It had crossed paths with them on multiple occasions, and had left the Phantom Thieves fleeing with their tails between their legs each time. It was not a foe to be trifled with.

That just made Ren want to beat it into the ground that much more.

"We're ready to depart at your word, Joker," said Akechi. Ren could feel his predatory stare from behind his beaked mask. Their duel from a few days prior was still fresh in his mind. Ren didn't doubt that he had finally caught sight of Akechi's true self, his Detective Prince façade cast away. It was back up as soon as he was around the rest of the team, but Ren could see through the fake smiles and disingenuous laughter. Bizarre as it was, it made him kind of happy. He could finally get a read on how Akechi truly felt.

While they were here in Mementos, Ren could trust Akechi not to stab them all in the back. At least, he hoped he could.

Ren smirked, his signature Joker Grin coming out in full force.

"Let's get going, then."

XXX

"How are our supplies holding out?" Ren dared not take his eyes off the road to check for himself.

"Uhhh let's see here… yeesh, this bag is overflowing with meds!" Came Ryuji's response.

Ren nodded, satisfied. While he had blown most of his money at the various shops all around Tokyo (as well as at Takemi's Clinic), he maintained the stance that "you can never be too careful," especially when going up against powerful enemies in the Metaverse. Besides, he could easily earn it all back by beating up every Shadow he came across; a simple, yet effective way of making money.

And it wasn't as if he had anything else to do while waiting for the Reaper to show up.

"Remind me, why are you keeping so many Mossy Mothman figures in here? I don't see how they can be of use to us in this place."

Ren's head whipped around to face the speaker.

"Because they help build morale, Crow."

"Shadow ahead, ten o'clock," Ren felt a hand touch his shoulder as his passenger pointed out the threat.

Ren returned his attention to the road, stomped down on the accelerator, and sighed in relief as the Monamobile shredded the wandering Shadow under rapidly churning wheels. He had almost missed it.

"Thanks for being my spotter, Noir."

Haru smiled brightly. "Of course! Spotting Shadows has kind of turned into a game for me. It's always so fun to hear them pop!"

"It feels really weird, though. And gross," Morgana mumbled, his voice filtering in through the speakers.

Haru hummed. "I suppose we all have our preferences."

The Monamobile came to a stop. Ren glanced at the side mirror to see a pile of coins sitting amidst the dissipating remnants of the former Shadow. "Alright, it's-"

"LOOT TIME!" Futaba shouted.

XXX

The Phantom Thieves continued driving through the twisting subway tunnels, ramming into any Shadows that stumbled into their path. Flu Season had made the denizens of Mementos sluggish and left them significantly weaker. The perfect time to take down the Reaper, Ren had reasoned.

But while ramming into Shadows was fun, and hearing Haru's elated giggling made his heart flutter, Ren couldn't help but feel that he was missing something.

"Something feels… off," Makoto remarked, echoing Ren's thoughts.

Ann frowned. "Yeah, now that you mention it…"

"There is a definite lack of rattling chains in the air, even though we have long passed the amount of time it would take for the Reaper to find us," Yusuke finished.

Akechi stroked his chin. "Oracle, can you detect anything?"

Futaba had her eyes glued to her laptop. "Hmmmmm… nope. This floor is positively empty."

Akechi frowned. "Then perhaps it might be best-"

"Wait a minute!" Futaba's eyes widened. "Something just showed up on my radar! It's freaking fast, too!"

Ren was instantly on alert. A wave of tension washed over the others. "Where is it?"

"It's just ahead of us. It should be cresting that hill any-"

Before she could finish, a car suddenly filled Ren's field of vision. A very tiny car, with an enormous pile of stuff towering out of the trunk. The car slammed into the Monamobile's roof, eliciting a yelp from Morgana, and bounced off.

Ren stomped hard on the brake. He peered out of the window, looking behind him. He sighed and stepped out of the van, approaching the driver who had crashed into them.

Jose blinked at him. "Oh, hi mister."

XXX

When Futaba once again confirmed that there were no Shadows around to menace them, everyone stepped outside the Monamobile, which then transformed back into Morgana's regular form. Jose stood next to Ren, only coming up to around his knees.

"What the eff was that all about, kid!?" Ryuji's voice echoed down the tunnel.

By contrast, Akechi's voice was low and even. "That was an incredibly dangerous case of reckless driving, you know. It even had the potential to be deadly. Though I'm quite thankful it didn't happen, I am curious why your impact didn't cave in the roof over us."

Jose tilted his head. "Was it supposed to?"

"No! No, it definitely wasn't!" Ryuji was quick to clarify.

The yellow-eyed child nodded to himself. "I see."

"So, uh… what brings you around these parts, Jose?" Ann asked.

Jose looked up at her and shrugged. "Running an errand. I need to post a message as a favor to someone."

Akechi's stance immediately became more guarded. "And just who would that be?"

Jose tapped a gloved finger against his cheek. "Come to think of it, you guys have already met him, haven't you? In that case," he reached into his coat pocket and withdrew a neatly folded piece of paper. He handed it to Ren. "Here you go, mister. This is for you."

Ren gently took the paper from Jose's hand, glancing curiously at it. After a bout of deliberation, he unfolded it. A brief message was written in immaculate handwriting; Ren was willing to bet that the penmanship was even better than Makoto's. He began to read aloud.

"To those it may concern,

Apologies for the inconvenience, but I am feeling a bit under the weather at the moment and am thus unable to carry out my duties at this time. Please feel free to visit again another day. If all goes well, I will have recovered from this irritating 'flu' by then.

Until next time.

Sincerely,

Reaper."

As Ren finished reading, he looked up to see the rest of the group staring blankly at him. He flipped the note over to confirm that there was nothing on the back, and slid it into his pocket. He pursed his lips, dumbfounded. "Huh, well would you look at that."

Jose tugged on Ren's sleeve.

"By the way, mister, do you have any flowers for me?"

XXX

April Fools, everyone!