Prologue: The Sacrifice

The thoughts that entered my mind, when my mind became clear again, was like that of the man I wanted to be. It was that of a man who loved someone so deeply, that he would literally lay down his life for her. And as I gazed into her eyes as the darkness behind me was choking her, I knew in that moment that I needed to save her.

"No! You are not taking away the people that I love!" Those words echoed through my head as she walked forward and I stared at her. Then the sound of her strangled sobs met my ears.

"I might not be able to kill you, but I can stop you from interfering!" Nimue stood behind me like a cat about to pounce on his prey. I could tell from our shared connection to the darkness that she was enjoying this. Nimue was enjoying inflicting pain upon the only person who could really stop this whole thing from happening.

I could do nothing but stare and watch with a foggy mind as the scene unfolded in front of me. My mind was too foggy. Foggy enough from the darkness coursing through me that I wasn't myself anymore. The real me wouldn't have stood for this or allowed Emma to be choked in the manner in which she was currently being choked.

And thus this started the internal battle for control.

Light and dark. Which one would win here?

After a few brief moments, I knew what I had to do. I knew what needed to transpire in order for everyone to be safe.

"That's enough!" I turned to face Nimue after a few moments of staring at Emma's blue eyes.

"What do you think you're doing?" She turned her attention to me which was what I wanted her to do.

"Being the man I want to be." It seemed like in those few moments of staring into Emma's fear, that it had broken through and myself had returned for a few brief moments. It was long enough for me to stand firm and to allow myself the chance to think for myself. Not as the dark one, or as the Captain who had long sought revenge, but as Killian. The man whom was loved by others and who loved everyone standing behind me at this very moment.

"You can't stop us!" Nimue dropped her hand holding Emma to look me square in the eyes. I then briefly looked down at Excalibur in my hand before making up my mind on what needed to happen to rid this world of the darkness the Dark Ones had brought.

"Yes, I can." The determination ripped through my voice and so did the courage that I had tried to gather in that moment. I raised Excalibur in the air and closed my eyes as I willed the souls of the Dark Ones standing in front of me to enter. I felt the wind pick up and the tendrils of the darkness closed in around me as it entered the blade. The darkness which would no longer hold any power over the loved ones standing behind me. They wouldn't be sent to the Underworld. Not if I had anything to say about it.

Once the darkness was trapped within the blade, I felt its power calling out to me to release it. I felt everyone of the Dark Ones, Nimue included, trying to claw their way out of the blade's trap. It caused my arm to begin to shake. I fought back the call, fought back the power with grunts and a pain that I had never experienced before.

But in that same moment, I found myself again.

I knew what I had to do to free both myself and Emma of the darkness for good. If that meant that I sacrifice myself for them and for her, I would do that. It was what needed to happen despite my protests.

"Killian, you can't do this!" Emma's anguished voice met my ears. I turned to face her while simultaneously trying to keep the power from rushing back out and causing harm.

"We both know there's no other way, love. We have to hurry!" I finally met her gaze and almost broke at the sight of Emma's tears running down her face. She wasn't the Dark One at this moment. She was the woman who loved me and I loved back, "The darkness won't stay trapped in Excalibur for much longer. Take it!"

I held out my shaking hand and held out Excalibur for her to see. Her cries grew more desperate as she tried to shy away from what we both knew needed to happen.

"You have to help me Swan!" I looked her in the eyes as she backed away from the blade a bit, "Take it!"

"I can't! It should be me!"

"Your family needs you. If anyone deserves to go to the Underworld, its me!" I could feel the shaking in my arm grow stronger as the darkness grew stronger within it, "You were right. I was weak. So let me make up for it now by being strong!"

Her tears nearly broke me. I was doing this for her, but it still hurt that after this moment, I would no longer be able to hold her close, to call her my own.

"I don't want to lose you," She was crying hard to where her voice sounded choked and those words came out soft. I recalled her telling me that she was scared to get close to me for fear of losing me and now she was losing me.

"And I won't lose you." We locked eyes and the emotions that were now on my face mirrored hers, "But you have to let me go. Let me die a hero. That's the man I want you to remember. Please!"

She shook her head no, but then slowly walked toward me hands raised. When she was close enough, Emma wrapped both of her hands around my shaking one and gradually took the sword from my hands. She then stared at the sword for a few brief seconds then returned her gaze to mine. Emma then closed the distance and kissed me.

"I love you." And we passionately kissed for what would be the last time. We stood like that for a while before we released each other and I had the chance to talk.

"I love you too." I then nodded my head in affirmation, or reassurance I didn't know which one, that this was what needed to happen. She would have to kill me in order to free the world from the darkness.

Emma backed away, the shaking which was once within me, was now tethered to her. She tried to hold it back like I had just done. She was brave and thus I felt I needed to out on a brave face for her.

I felt my breaths come out in waves as the anticipation of the blade meeting my flesh over came me. I held out my hand and hook to either side of me, to help her hit her target better as well as to make sure that I didn't stop this. I watched her tear streaked face and we never let our gazes falter from one another.

She nodded he head back.

"It's okay. It's okay!" I whispered to her hoping that by hearing it she would no longer hesitate.

I looked down at the blade and then back into her eyes and then nodded once again. She hesitated for only a few more moments before she stepped forward and drove the blade into my chest. I let out a loud cry as the pain suddenly hit my brain. I then felt immediately weak as did my breaths. Whether she saw it or not, I felt her press the rest of the blade through my body and the blood begin to fall down my stomach.

I could hear her sobs as my body grew weaker. I could feel the blade moving in around me like it was a part of me and in a way it was.

I then held my hand up to her face as my breaths came out labored. I held her face and just let her sit there in our last few moments together. I watched through half closed eyes as the darkness now fled from Emma and she was herself again. The red jacket which I had come to love her wearing was the final thing I saw.

The pain of the blade going out was almost worse than it going in. I felt the waves of the blade exit my body and tear into everything. All I could do was to stand there frozen in place as the blade disintegrated and the blood within me pour freely and unchecked. I then let out a groan as the first wound that I was given from Excalibur returned on my neck. I soon felt the life within me slowly die out and I slowly collapsed. And the last thing I remembered before I gave my last breath was Emma, my sweet Emma, guiding me toward the ground in tears.

When I woke next, I found myself laying in a field of tombstones. It took me a second to register what was around me, but I was instantly up and standing when I saw them. I tried to get my bearings. This place was familiar. But I couldn't place why.

I then turned around and found the tombstone I had just been laying against and gasped when I realized that it was mine. It had my name carved into the stone like it was a part of me. I scrambled backwards and tried to distance myself from it, but couldn't. My gaze was transfixed on it as if it had some sort of spell on me.

I decided it was time for me to find out what was really going on.

Wandering seemed like a good option for me as I found my way into a town that looked eerily like Storybrooke. Except this town was half run down and parts of it destroyed. Why was it like that?

I located Granny's and then decided that now was as good of a time as any to see if I could find anything else that was familiar. I walked over to where I knew The Charmings' home was located and walked into the building. Surprisingly the doors were unlocked and this it offered me a much easier time getting in.

The place wasn't much, but I had found it as a home base for me. This was where I picked Emma up for our first date, this is where her family lived and now it was time for me to temporarily live here too.

I wandered into the living room and then moved to face the up stairs bedroom. It took me a few seconds before I too trudged up there. It was as if my mind was telling me that everyone would be upstairs but in reality, they weren't even here.

I then laid eyes on a picture frame turned to face away from the prying eyes of those coming up into the living space. I sauntered over to the image and turned it around. But what I found there caused many emotions to well up inside me.

For it was a picture of myself and Emma kissing.

I didn't know who had taken this picture nor did I really care. In that moment, my brain had caught up to reality that I was no longer alive and that all those who cared about me were no longer around. Tears began to flow freely down my face. I now felt almost ashamed for what I had just done and for what I had just put her through.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and just caressed the picture frame with my fingers. I then gazed about the room, taking in the details of this run down version and tried to imagine Emma standing at the top of the steps smiling over at me. I imagined her hugging me tightly and kissing my face so much that I couldn't get in a word edgewise. I envisioned her arms wrapping as tightly around me as they could and keeping me close.

But then I imagined the blade piercing my flesh as if it was nothing more than a hot knife to butter. I just felt the despair of never being able to see her again or hear her voice.

I just did my best to commit to memory the thoughts of her last kiss and her last words as she did that.

Leaning back against the head rest, I just held the picture close to my chest as the tears returned to me. I wasn't worthy of anything anymore nor did I deserve her love. All I cared about was living for her memory. And that gave me hope that even if I would never see her again, I would be able to live and move on in her memory.

And with those thoughts, I slowly drifted off to sleep. The last thing I remember before succumbing to the slumber was smiling as an image of Emma flashed into my mind. I was going to live for her even if I would never see her again. I was going to live in light of the changed man she had made me and how much she cared for me.

With that, I drifted off into darkness. Not knowing that the darkness would soon find itself back into my life in a way that I never expected.