For Dragonfly and Petrificus Somewhatus, who heavily persuaded me into turning this idea into an actual one-shot.

April Fish

Thursday 1st April, 2004

Teddy Lupin-Potter beamed his thanks at his best friend Victoire Weasley as she passed him the blue pencil crayon from where he was struggling to reach it. Colouring in at the kitchen table of Victoire's house had become something that happened at least three times a week now, since Daddy had gotten his new job. He found that he often missed spending all day every day playing with Mummy or Daddy, but it was nice to have a friend his own age too.

As was often the case, today Tata Fleur (which he'd recently learned meant Aunt in French) was using their colouring time to teach them something about the difference between France and England.

'Almost everybody 'as some kind of tradition for the first of April. 'ere in Britain, people tell lies and trick each other,' she explained as she handed an orange pencil crayon to Victoire. 'That does 'appen in France too, but we also 'ave what we call poisson d'avril which means April Fish in English.'

Teddy cocked his head curiously at his Tata. 'What's fish got to do with it?'

'Well that's the joke. You make a paper fish and stick it to somebody's back without them noticing. Then, they walk around all day looking silly.'

'But what if somebody tells them about it?' Victoire asked.

Fleur smiled. 'Well nobody does. Everybody is in on the joke and doesn't say anything. They 'ave to notice it themselves later and wonder 'ow long the fish 'as been there.'

The gears of mischief whirred almost audibly in Teddy's head as that information sunk in. 'Can we make some?'

'Of course,' Fleur replied, already on her feet to collect some blank sheets of paper.

-o-

With the distinct crack of apparition, Hermione Potter appeared at the front gate of Shell Cottage. Bill and Fleur had never actually intended on staying at the cliff-top property after the war, but it had ended up feeling like home for them after having spent the better part of a year living there by the time the war ended. Fleur had also fallen pregnant with Victoire towards the end of August which had further cemented their decision to stay.

Truth be told, Hermione still didn't feel entirely comfortable at the cottage - the circumstances of her first visit, towards the end of the war, had marred the way she thought about the place. Time certainly did heal, though, and coming here got a little bit easier with each visit.

Those visits had increased in frequency over the last year or so; Harry had been promoted at St Mungo's and was now working during the day on a ward, rather than the shift-work he'd been doing as an emergency healer for the past few years. It had been great news for his career, of course, but had also made childcare a little more difficult.

Not long after their wedding, Andromeda had taken a turn for the worse so they'd taken Teddy in full-time. It had taken them both a while to adjust to the change in circumstance - actually raising a child was very different to having him around every other weekend, but between their different work schedules they'd made it work. Now Hermione wouldn't have it any other way. Both she and Harry had come to consider him as their own son, and Teddy had likewise taken to calling them 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' quite quickly.

Before she was even halfway up the gravel path which led to the front of the cottage, the door swung open, followed by the excited shout of 'Mummy!' in Teddy's voice. Really, the boy seemed to have an almost uncanny ability to know when he was being spoken or even thought about. The almost six-year-old barreled down the path towards her with a beaming grin and leapt into her arms before she was even prepared to catch him.

She did catch him, of course - both she and Harry had become more than accustomed to this habit of his - but couldn't help but groan as she did so. 'Good afternoon to you too, Teddy-bear. You're getting far too big to be jumping on me, you know? Mummy's getting too old for it these days.'

'Nuh-uh,' he denied with a giggle. 'You're not old.'

'I think you'll find that I'm getting there.'

Teddy planted the most adorable little kiss on her cheek before pulling back so he could fix her with his most earnest look. 'You aren't yet! Mrs Weasley is old and she's much older than you.'

Hermione laughed and shifted her hold on the boy so she had a free hand to ruffle his hair. 'You ought to be careful saying things like that. If Mrs Weasley hears you, she'll have you washing her dishes for a week.'

'She says it herself,' he said with a blithe grin.

'She's allowed to. Now look at you, you didn't even put your shoes on before running out here.' To emphasise the point, she tickled the sole of one of his socked feet as she kicked the front door closed behind her. Teddy giggled riotously and squirmed in her grasp at the torment.

'Salut, 'ermione,' greeted Fleur from the doorway of the living room. The woman looked as effortlessly graceful as ever, despite being several months into her second pregnancy. Hermione hoped that she'd look even half as good when she and Harry had children, but she wasn't foolish enough to believe that she would. That was seemingly a perk solely reserved for Veela and their descendants.

Shaking herself from her brief reverie, she smiled kindly at Fleur. 'Good afternoon, Fleur. Teddy, why don't you go and get your shoes and coat on?' She put the boy on the ground and he quickly went off to oblige with the request. 'I hope he hasn't been any trouble?'

Fleur laughed slightly at the question. 'Who, Teddy? C'est n'importe quoi! 'e 'as been delightful as ever, though I think I might owe you an apology.'

Hermione cocked her head. From the smile on the other woman's face, she didn't seem very sorry for whatever she was talking about. 'An apology for what?'

'I was telling Victoire and Teddy about 'ow the French celebrate the first of April and I think I gave him an idea.'

Just then, Teddy came running back into the hallway of the house with a number of little paper fish clutched in his hand. 'Mummy, look what I made today! Tata cut them out but I coloured them in myself,' he said, proudly holding them up for her to see.

A look of sudden comprehension fell upon her face as she realised what Fleur had been talking about. She shot a light-hearted glare at the woman before looking down to appropriately coo over her son's masterpieces.

'These are very good, but I hope you aren't planning on sticking one on my back?'

Teddy looked up at her with a mischievous glint in his eye and shook his head. 'I'm gonna get Daddy.'

Hermione chuckled. 'Oh, I'm perfectly fine with that. I think we'll need to get home and come up with a plan for that, then, don't you?'

His eyes widened briefly - clearly he hadn't thought that far ahead - then he nodded at her solemnly.

-o-

Arriving home at half past six in the evening on a Thursday hadn't stopped feeling somewhat bittersweet for Harry Potter, even after a year of following this schedule. For the best part of three years, Thursdays had been Harry's day alone with Teddy. Hermione had worked half-days at the Ministry from Monday to Wednesday but worked all day on Thursdays and Fridays to get everything finished before the weekend arrived.

If he was being honest with himself, the boy had been spoiled rotten. Pretty soon after Teddy had moved in with them, every Thursday had become dedicated to Harry doing all of the father-son activities he wished he'd been able to do as a child himself.

But as terribly as he missed those days, he really appreciated that he arrived home at a reasonable time every day now. As a shift worker on the emergency ward, he was still working full-time hours despite only actually being at the hospital for three and a half days a week. That meant that the days he did work often lasted for twelve or fourteen hours at a time, sometimes not arriving home until well past midnight. He certainly didn't miss that.

Reminiscence set aside, he unlocked the front door to the house and opened it to the sound of his usual welcome in the form of Teddy shouting 'Daddy!' at the top of his voice.

Harry rushed to open the door as his son sprinted down the hallway, jumping into his ready arms for a hug. Harry laughed and spun the boy around with the momentum. 'Teddy!' he said loudly, mimicking the greeting.

Teddy giggled before patting him once on the back and pressing down - presumably sticking something to his back with all of subtlety a young boy could muster. That is to say, none at all. Clearly, though, this was a pre-planned joke or prank of some sort, so he resolved not to mention it. Better to let him have any of the little victories he set his mind to.

'What have you been up to today then, Teddy-bear?' Harry asked as he kicked off his shoes.

Teddy loosened his grip on his Dad's neck to respond. 'Well I was at Tata's -'

'I know that already,' Harry interrupted with a smirk, which earned him a tiny little swat to the chest.

'Let me finish!'

He put his free hand up in surrender. 'Sorry! Go ahead,' he said, then mimed zipping his mouth shut, locking it, then placing the invisible key in his son's waiting hand.

'As I was saying,' Teddy continued in a bossy tone that sounded suspiciously similar to his Mum's, 'I was at Tata's and we started the day by reading a story - The Tiger Who Came To Tea - then Tori pretended to be a curse-breaker like Tonton and had to save me from a curse which made me keep moving about - I couldn't sit still - and then -'

As he spoke, Harry had walked through the house and into the kitchen where Hermione was preparing dinner. He placed a hand on his wife's waist and gave her a kiss in silent greeting, but soon received his second swat to the chest of the evening.

'You're not listening to me!' Teddy said indignantly.

Harry stepped away from Hermione, ignoring her silly grin at his predicament and instead giving his full attention to the boy in his arms. 'Mm-hm!' he hummed, which was the best retort he could give with his lips sealed.

Teddy rolled his eyes but continued anyway. 'So I couldn't sit still but Tori saved me from the curse just as Tata finished making lunch. We had chicken sandwiches for lunch and then after that we did some colouring in while Tata told us all about how for April Fools in France. She said that people make little paper fish and stick them to other people's backs without them knowing so they look silly.'

Ah, Harry realised, so that's what the pat on the back was about. A knowing look was shared by the two young parents, but it went unnoticed by their son who carried on talking about his day.

'Then Mummy came to pick me up and we came home. I watched some cartoons while she finished some work and then we did a puzzle together and then you came home.'

'Hmmm,' Harry hummed interestedly, then held his hand out for the invisible key, which Teddy returned. He unlocked and unzipped his lips before placing the key into his pocket for safe keeping. 'Sounds like you've had a busy day, then.'

'Yep.'

'Reckon you'll be able to keep yourself entertained for a few more minutes while I go and change out of my robes?'

Teddy cocked his head in pretend thought, then nodded.

'Wicked,' Harry said, putting the boy back down onto the floor, 'I'll be back downstairs before you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.'

He slipped out of the kitchen then, leaving Hermione to keep Teddy company as he muttered under his breath, 'Super-cali... super-cali-fry... super-cali-fragile...'

At the bedroom door, Harry shook his head with a practised sort of exasperated fondness. It never failed to amuse him that, despite how organised she was with almost every other aspect of her life, Hermione was completely incapable of keeping their bedroom tidy. The vanity on the other side of the room looked like her makeup bag had been entirely emptied on it, the pyjamas she had been wearing the night before were on the floor just in front of the washing basket, almost certainly from where she'd thrown them and they'd fallen short. The blouse and robes she'd worn to work today were strewn haphazardly atop the bed.

That said, he really wasn't any better himself, and his Healer's robes were dropped unceremoniously beside her Ministry ones. Just as he began to unbutton his shirt, a small slip of orange hidden between the folds of his lime-green robes caught his eyes. He picked it up. As expected, it was a small hand-coloured fish that Teddy had stuck to his back before he'd even got through the door.

Somewhere in the recesses of his memory, he remembered learning about the French tradition back in primary school. If he recalled correctly, the idea was to stick the fish onto somebody's back without them noticing. There was only so much a six year old could be expected to pull off, but even still, it looked like Teddy still had a little way to go before he lived up to his legacy as the son of one of the Marauders, and the god-grandson of another.

With a chuckle, he set the little fish on his bedside table beside the birthday card that Teddy had made for him last year.

He took off his trousers and shirt and put them in the washing basket, also picking up Hermione's clothes which hadn't quite made it in themselves, and went over to the wardrobe to get a clean shirt and a comfy pair of jogging bottoms to spend the evening in. That plan was quickly foiled, though, as the second he touched wardrobe's door handle, both doors flew open and he instantly knocked backwards, falling flat on his arse, and buried in a veritable avalanche of little paper fish.

For a few seconds, Harry just sat stock-still on the floor, completely dumbfounded by what had just happened. Within moments, his stupor was broken by a duet of laughter off to his left. He brought his arms up and cleared himself from the school of paper pranking materials to find his wife and son both using the door-frame to hold themselves up from their laughter. Honestly, he had to admit that it was a prank well done - he hadn't seen it coming at all. Maybe his son wasn't as far off the Marauder's legacy as he'd supposed.

Still, something like this called for retribution.

'I'll get you for this!' he growled playfully at the pair, who were still laughing uproariously.

Teddy squealed as Harry started to get to his feet, and Hermione moved in front of him protectively.

'Run away! I'll hold him off!' she told their boy, who promptly did exactly that, fleeing for the safety of downstairs.

Harry raised an eyebrow at his wife, who returned the look of challenge as evenly as she could through the tears of mirth in her eyes. He lunged at her suddenly and she yelped, but couldn't move fast enough to avoid getting caught up in his grasp.

In an instant, his fingers began work, tickling her sides as she squirmed and squealed and breathlessly shouted at him to, 'Stop it - please - Harry!'

After a moment, he stopped his torment but didn't ease his grip around her waist. Panting, she rested her head against his chest and soon began chuckling again. 'You should have seen your face.'

Harry shook his head and pressed a kiss to her hair. 'You're a traitor, you know that?' he whispered.

She looked back up at him with a glint in her eye. 'I don't know what you're talking about,' she whispered before hopping up onto her tiptoes to plant a slow, teasing kiss on his lips. As she pulled back she winked at him and spoke again in that tantalising undertone, 'April Fools, Harry.'