AN: Hey everyone this was something I threw together after watching an episode of stargate I probably won't continue it, but if enough people show interest I might. Also if someone wants to take over this story please go ahead. I love reading Stargate stories with similar concepts.

Tyr his current name really didn't know how to put his thoughts into words other than to say. "I don't have a dick. The worst part though was that he knew why. He was Asgardian. Not Asgardian like Marvel lightning wielding Thor, but Asgardian the little grey guys in Stargate.

Thors race decided to try another cloning experiment. They took one hundred cloned bodies that hadn't turned out as optimal as they could have been, and downloaded a bunch of knowledge into their brains. Simple things languages, 1 + 1, Asgardian history, shield generator blueprints, how crystal based computers worked, and a basic galaxy periodic table. Just what a growing Asgardian child would need. The Idea was to create a new consciousness to help expand their decreasing population. It didn't work or at least 99 out of a 100 didn't work, and he was pretty sure the reason he was alive isn't because of the Asgard.

But all of this pales to the fact that Tyr didn't have a dick. So he only had one option. Run away, build a base, experiment to create a new body, make it more human looking, and transfer his mind into that. There was no way Tyr would be walking around other races with no dick.

It is almost comical how trusting the Asgard can be. Except that the Asgard race probably hasn't fought between themselves for centuries. Luckily for Tyr this meant minimal security both around his room, and around the Science class vessel he'd be stealing. Between the ship's intergalactic hyperdrive, and cloaking capabilities it wasn't a hard choice to choose from.

A few simple commands, and the ship was leaving the planet flying on its own computer. Destination earth. If his ship computer were working right the date would be 1970 plenty of time before the Stargate program would be running. Now he just needed to rest for a bit, this body of his really wasn't meant to be walking as fast as he had been.

Step one to gaining a dick complete

(Steal one Asgard ship)

Tyr had to say the show lied. Those episodes where Thor visits earth and then takes SG-1 into the Ida galaxy and makes everything seem like it takes minutes to maybe hours. It took him two days to reach earth. Not that he'd wasted those two days, but still two days compared to what the show, showed.

Still like he said he hadn't wasted those two days. It had given him time to think about his future, and enough time to design a nifty little drone now designated R1D1.

R1D1 was designed to be space proof, made use of Asgard cloaking technology, a plethora of sensor technology, a personal shield, and a stun weapon not dissimilar to a Gau'uld Intar. They'd be his scouts to study different planets, and find advanced technology. If he wanted his new body, then he would have to think differently from the rest of his current race. Hopefully he'd find something out there that could help his research.

So one scout drone designated R1D1 finished, just in time for his arrival to earth. Of course his final destination wasn't earth, but it was a good starting point. From here he'd go to the planet Abidos to record all the stargate locations left there by the Goa'uld. He knew for a fact that one of those planets held a gate address leading to an Ancient repository of knowledge. Now there's no guarantee that the repository would hold what he needed, but it was a resource nevertheless.

The trip to Abidos was thankfully only a few hours. Once the ship came out of hyperspace Tyr activated the ship's cloak, and scanned the planet for any signs of Ra. it would be at least another twenty-five years or more before colonel O'neill would send a nuke on to Ra's ship, blowing it up, and starting a wide spread war between the Goa'uld.

Thankfully the ship's sensor detected no ships around or on the planet. Tyr moved his ship into orbit above the planet, and beamed down R1D1 who he'd just fabricated with the ship's computer. The drone flew through the pyramid using anti gravitational technology until it came across a tunnel leading into a large chamber. Inside were gate addresses. As his scout recorded the wall Tyr really had to think about how stupid the Goa'uld were. Why waste the time to write or inscribe a huge chamber with gate addresses they knew. It was like saying "Here I am, come to this planet, and fight me!" fucking dumb snakes. They could live for a thousand years, but couldn't actually advance their technology unless needed to, and even then their work could be questionable.

It was as Tyr ranted in his mind that he remembered another failure of the Goa'uld. They left behind technology all over the place. Case in point. One Eye of Ra a pretentious name for something he didn't even make. Bad name or not Tyr had to debate with himself on taking the eye now or waiting a few decades. Sure it was a good power source, but Anubis wouldn't be after it for a while, and Ra wasn't going to use it.

For now he would leave the eye. Maybe in doing so he stopped Ra from finding it missing, and destroying this planet. If Ra did that then his whole time frame would be royally screwed, not that that actually mattered to him, in twenty years he'd have a way to take care of Anubis and the Replicators. No what he needed to focus on was getting his dick back.

One scout retrieved later, and Tyr now had a list of planets to send his scouts through.

Step two to getting his dick back complete.

(Get a list of planets that might have Ancient technology.)

Now he needed a home base. Somewhere the Goa'uld wouldn't be looking, but had resources to build the technology he would need.

It took three weeks of searching before he found a suitable planet. The planet itself didn't have a stargate, and it didn't have a breathable atmosphere. What it did have was reach mining resources in the form of naquidah and neutronium. It took the last of the ship's raw materials to create a mining drone, but Asgard mining drones were very efficient. On a side note he'd need to make a stop at a planet with plants on it. His ship's food supplies would be running out soon. Once he had raw plant matter the ship's matter converter could synthesize the food his body required. On another note: while he needed to get his dick back; he also needed to get human taste back as well. Asgardian food even to his current taste buds tasted terrible, edible but terrible.