AN; mixing my 'Jokers' here.
Crossing Heath's with Caesar's Joker.
Harley from BtA, mixed with HBO's Harley Quinn
The Batman's Punch & Judy, reskinned,
and my OC.
Knave of Coins
00
ISDH
Joker and Harley returned to this month's hideout. The Joker-mobile conking out just as the garage door closed behind them. The Jester themed female squealed in joy and ran off to find her 'babies', as the 'Clown Prince of Crime' sulked in the car.
"Your Drink, Sir." A cultured voice, as a clown faced glass was presented at the corner of his vision.
More out of reflex than anything, Joker took the glass. Three fingers of Scotch, with non-ice ice cubes. He sipped. 'Old. Single Malt. Expensive.' The green haired psycho looked at the man in a servant's silk suit. "Who…"
"Japes, Sir." the 'Butler' tucked his tray under his left arm. "Keeping with the Theme, sir. My Card." a playing card sized business card appeared in between the servant's forefinger and middle finger.
Looking closer, Joker saw 'Japes' was a cross of himself and Bruce Waine's Butler. Black Silk coat, red silk vest, Black silk pants. Shiny black loafers, white gloves, and a drama mask, with a smile. Looking at the card, thin as a real playing card, and as flexible. If he had enough, he could probably shuffle them normally. But it was an unknown metal alloy, edged, and sharp. He handed the card back, as he stood. Suddenly he spun, putting a knife into the bullseye of a target 30 meters away…
Only for the knife and bullseye to be bisected a second later by the calling card.
The Joker grinned, and sipped from his glass. "What else can you do?"
"I am one Hell of a Butler, Sir." Japes' eyes glowed behind his mask. "I do everything, but capers-work. My Card." Another card was offered.
This time Joker read the card. One side was blue-black, with Japes' face mask in a green-black shimmer. As Joker allowed the light to play over the card, the mask went from drama-happy to a horned skull. The other side was purple and had the words printed in gold on it;
Japes ConKnave
One Hell of a Butler
Domesticis, Medicinae, Machina, Logicis
*Support Only*
"And If I said We need a new lair?" Joker sipped his Scotch. There was no way this was scotch, but rather Scotch.
"I have three 'Clown' or 'Toy' themed in the City, Four unmarked, and Five in BludHaven, if you just want to vanish." The 'Butler' reached into his inside pocket and pulled out a can of 'Hype' cola, just as Harley bounced into the room. He just held it out in her direction, as she flounced by.
She snagged the can, as she snuggled up to vc the Boss. "Hey Puddin, I can't find the Boys anywhere!"
"The Pups are sleeping off a big meal." Japes answered. "You have been treating them like dogs, when they are more like a blend of cat and dog. Higher Protein, less veggie matter. And better if they have to 'hunt' for it." He turned his head to look up stairs, "I put them in their crates, just in case we needed to move before they were ready to get up."
Joker sipped his Scotch, "And if I decided that I did not need you?"
"One, I serve you because Miss Q is your Number Two. My Contract is with her. Two, You need my services, if only to allow you to plan the next step of your caper. And Three, I only get paid if you and Miss Q are successful. I take Fifteen percent after expenses. As my services include fencing, financing, and accounting, I usually handle everything but your trophies."
Harley had bolted her cola, crushed her can, and was looking between the two men. "Where does your start up money come from?" Her chipper squeaky voice drew the attention of both white-faced men.
"For the most part… I use an alternate revenue stream." The masked face turned to the jester. "Mostly betting on and against Batman. Most bets are who is going to 'Kill the Bat', who is the Villain of the Week, How long does the Bat take to stop them, and do they get away."
Joker's Smile turned dark. "Why does She get the Contract?"
Looking the white faced, green haired, mutant in the face, Japes sneered. "She does not have a body count. She has proven herself to be able to 'smash, grab, and flee'. When she has to get through armed forces, she leaves them in a pile, broken like Batman does, coloured like you do, and happy to have been so abused. You just kill, loot, and slag."
The 'Butler' snorted. "Heard about your 'Killing Joke'. It was a gas."
Joker froze…
Blinked…
And again…
Before snorting. "Good one."
An Iron Door on the other side of the Lair slammed.
"Oh." Japes turned to look in that direction. "Your Henchmen are back. I notice that they were not included in your little operations run. Shall we adjourn to the Main Room? They need to be updated on me." He led the way, Holding the door for the Boss, Miss Q, and then closing it softly.
Both Brutes grunted at Joker and Harley, before growling at Japes.
"Good. Job well done." Japes answered. "I am the guy who put the kegs in your quarters. I went with a mid-range ale this week, but am willing to take your preferences into account for next week." Looking at Joker, "Job Done. Boom GO."
"That's what they said?" Harley hanging off Mr J's left arm.
"It loses something in translation. Goon is a complexe language of syntax." Jape frowned at the outfits the grunts were wearing. "Mr J. Are you the Clown prince, or the clown Prince?" his tone expressing the difference.
"Both." Joker frowned over his imprinted smile.
"Since you wear a suit, should your Henchmen too, wear a suit? Miss Q's body stocking is her Battle Attire, but you are a Crime Boss. On par with, if not above the Roman. The only thing he has above you, is his ability to not to be sent to Arkham. But then he avoids the Bat."
Joker sipped his drink as he stepped to his Great Chair. (it was not a throne…) "That would be a change in my branding."
"Yes, Sir." the Butler stepped to the side of the room, his back to the gang… his work hidden. "And just think… what would everyone think if you went non-lethal?" He turned back, his silver serving tray holding a fresh glass of Scotch, a fruity martini, and two cans of Foster's beer. He passed the Brutes, giving each a can, as he moved on to Quinn, who was given the candy apple red drink, before holding the tray at waist level so Joker could empty his glass then switch it with the new one.
"No killing?" Joker pouted, "Now where is the fun in that?"
"You are the genesis in the room, Sir." the Butler returned to the side-bar. "Play it out. You put a bomb into play. Batman is going to try to defuse it, when he finds out about it. Given. Gordon will…"
"...Drive the innocent out of the blast radius, and assign his boys in blue to fence off the area." Joker sneered. "So?"
"As I recall, You prefer Chaos over profit, and if a little pain happens so much the better." Japes tucked his Platter under his arm. "Now, Batman is cowl-deep in a multi block ordinance device, the Police are keeping everyone out of the blast radius, meaning at least half of the boy and girls in uniform are standing around directing traffic, moving those who can not move themselves... The other half are either asleep, watching from on the tv, as it will broadcast on at least three stations, or hurrying in to help. Now, not knowing where the EOD is…"
Punch grunted, before sipping his beer.
"ACE Chemicals." Japes turned to look at the Massive Map of the City. "Boom is at least three blocks… then you have fallout… drift… pretty much, half the East Side of the City is toast. Now, If Bats had enough warning, how long would it take to undo your… gift?"
Judy snorted, waved his paw, and the can of beer it clamped safely.
"Three Hours, to disarm, dismantle, and clear…" Japes muttered as he turned back to the Map. "What would you want if not working on a body count? Cash, Coin, or Jewels?"
"Why do you ask?" Joker sneered.
"Say you hit a bank or two… You roll in, loot everything not a die bag, and Roll out. A bit of Tagging, a non lethal touch of Joker Venom… so they know it was you, not a copy-cat, and a clean exit. Play the Game, work the odds. Hell, if you are sharp enough at reading both the Batman and his Gallery… Stealing from Riddler and the Penguin or anyone who catches your interest…"
The confused frown on Joker's face bloomed into a smile. "Complete Chaos." He flowed from the chair, as he joined the silk dressed Man-servent before the city map. "Sooo… avoiding a body count… let's include humanitarian causes… we will use them as False Leads not as the score… Looking to the North… and I am drawn to Gotham's First City Bank, the Roman's personal piggy bank."
"Ah, Mr J?" Harley slinked over, to lean on the purple suited crook, her glass held like a mobsters moll. "That would be a waste of the coppers distraction. The mob bank dont call the police when robbed."
"Good point." Mr J sipped his drink.
"And a good exit point." Japes pointed a Dimond Exchange three block away from the bank. "Hit here. Loot them to the bedrock. Take everything, including the tracking decoys. On your way out, you step in to the bank to 'deposit' your take… like said decoys in boxes linked to the Mob, and exit out the back. The Police and/or the Bat, tracking the decoys, even knowing that we normally would have avoided them will find the 'dirty money', and …"
"Dirty Pool." Joker chuckled. "And had you been with us earlier…"
"You would have ignored me as some uppity hench." Japes reached out and tapped the map with a white leather glove. "The Exchange to the Bank. Leave the spare Joker car out front of the Bank, as you exit the back way into a Limo… we will need to see if the Roman's is there as we move. If Yes, we take the ride to get it re-done in your colours. If No, a rental will do, as you vanish into the night."
"Okay. A complete change of my style." Joker clicked his tongue, "If this works, you are part of the Crew." then his smile turned Nasty, "If it fails…"
"You wake up tomorrow morning in Bludhaven." Japes did not look at the purple suited Villian. "You and the twins will have to find your way from there."
KoC
"Good Evening Gotham. I am your Cat-Co Channel Evening News Anchor, Shawna Showers." a sultry woman smiled at the camera, "As reported earlier today, a bomb threat was called in, centered around ACE Chemicals. As the Police scrambled to evacuate the surrounding five block radius, Reporters on scene spotted the Batman and the EOD squad working together to disarm, dismantle, and dispose of over thirty kilos of Joker Brand explosives. Thinking it was a trap or lure, all but a skeleton crew of the city's were called to redirect traffic and work crowd control. When nothing happened, everybody sighed in relief… until the Uptown Dimond Market Exchange declared they had been robbed."
Showers shifted to a new camera, "Joker, and his crew of three overpowered the guards, and swept out with everything. Including several tracking decoys. Following the trackers, Police were dragged into a fire-fight with Mob-enforcers in the First City Bank. When Batman and Commisner Gordon Arrived, it was discovered that the tracking decoys were planted in certain safety boxes within the Bank, leading to those accounts to be raided. When the smoke cleared, all leads to Joker had vanished."
What has Gordon worried tonight, While there was minor graffiti, and major blunt trama, both at the Exchange and the Bank, the only Joker Venom used just gave everyone a forced smile and bad dreams."
A clip of the tired Comm. Gordon filled the screen. "Joker changed his Venom formula again. Today, no one died, but they are being kept for 72 hour observation." even his voice was tired.
Steamy Shawna Showers was back. "We will keep you informed as new intel comes in. Up next; Knights crushed the Dragons in football, but first here is Bucky Buckley with the weather."