Anonymous on Tumblr prompted: "I'm sorry I made you into who you are today." For Snow and Regina?
Dearest Regina,
It's been a week since your attempt to kill me. If you can even call it that. A part of me wonders if you knew that the Huntsman would be unwilling to take my heart. The other part knows that you hate me, you have for a very long time. I tried to pretend like we were a happy family. That you loved me just as much as I love you. But I did see it. The strained smiles. The eye rolls when you thought I turned my back. We had so many amazing moments together but were any of those even real? The way you'd braid my hair every morning with such dedication and care. Or when we'd sneak chocolate to one another at balls, long before they began the feast. Those were the moments I saw the woman that saved me. The one who taught me about hope. I know you hate me; I know I'll never even begin to understand why. I just wish you could realize…I love you.
Yours, Snow
Regina,
Winter is quickly approaching. The days are shorter, nights grow colder. Do you remember the time when I learned just how we got the rabbit that we ate for supper? It was my absolute favorite until you explained to me that it had once been a living creature, much like the cute bunnies that pranced around the garden. I refused to touch meat for nearly a year. Then you pointed out that there were starving people in our kingdom, I couldn't be picky.
The point of all of this is to say I hunt my own food now. Tonight, I killed one of the last rabbits that hadn't headed for one of the warmer villages. I skinned and gutted it, cooked it on a fire that I also built myself. It'll last me a few meals.
Being away from the castle has taught me many skills. I wonder if you thought I'd die of exposure my first night. I get the smallest satisfaction knowing that I've proved you wrong. If you want to kill me, it won't be at the hands of a huntsman or by the elements. I'm a survivor, Regina. If you want to kill me, come and do it yourself.
I have allies, I'm sure you're aware. One recently asked if it bothered me how much you loathe my existence. All I could say in return was that the opposite of love isn't hate. If you hate me, Regina, it means you still care.
Snow
Dear Regina,
It's freezing. My gloves barely give me enough warmth and my fingers shake as I write this. I've built a steady fire, after several winds knocked out my first attempts. I had to trade most of my fur for clean water and medical supplies after a raid gone south. I think of you, on the feather bed and warm wool blankets that your father makes. I wish I had realized the last time I was in the castle truly was it for me. There's so much I would've brought. I've stolen bits and pieces when I can, but of course you do not make it easy. I'll survive the winter on sheer stubbornness alone. But I hate you for doing this to me. To our family. I am a good person, who always rose above it. Do you know that I once had the opportunity to kill someone in order to save my mother's life? I almost did it too, but I stopped myself. Because good doesn't hurt others. I hope there is a part of that girl I first met in you. The one that saved me from the horse. I miss you every single day. I just hope I never become you.
Sincerely, Snow
Dear Regina,
I killed last week. I didn't mean for it to happen. One minute, I was foraging for supplies. The next, a band of your men were upon me. Using my bow, I was able to scare most of them off, but one was firm. I tried reasoning, I tried fighting, but he was persistent. In the heat of the moment, my life mattered more. I did not survive you, the huntsman, possibly the harshest winter we ever had just to be taken out by an arrogant knight. My arrow pierced his neck. The blood. My God, Regina, there was so much blood.
I made it to safety before I let myself sob for hours. I know there was no other way out. It was my life or his, but why did it have to be that way? Why am I going to have to keep making that choice? To be good, kind or to just survive? The simple answer is of course, you. You did this to me.
And yet, I know you didn't do it for no reason. I know Regina that I hurt you. When I killed that man, I realized I'd be willing to do it again. I'd do whatever it took to survive in these woods. To reclaim my kingdom. I think a part of my heart grew dark today. I think I became like you.
Is that what I did to you? Regina, did I hurt you so badly that you felt you had to bury yourself in hate, bitterness and darkness? I hate myself right now. I hate who I'm becoming.
And if I did even the slightest bit of that to you, well then…I'm sorry I made you into who you are today.
I love you. I miss you. And I'm just so sorry.
Love, Snow