A Show They'll Never Forget

Beacon may have been a prime example of professionalism and merit when it came to training the next generation of Huntsmen in protecting humanity, but that did not mean they couldn't allow their students to show their talents (or lack thereof) and thrive in other areas.

That's why they were currently holding their annual talent show, on an open-mic stage where anyone could sign up and show their stuff for their peers. Among these peers were teams RWBY, _NPR, CF_Y, and SSSN.

The show was already part way through, and Velvet, the hostess for the night, came back on stage in a lovely bunny outfit, complete with a tailed coat and fishnet leggings. She grabbed the microphone and unfolded a small piece of paper. "Up next, Jaune Arc everybody!"

A table close to the front awaited Yang, who came down from her performance on stage to sit with the rest of her team. "It's okay Yang, everyone has an off-night," Ruby said.

"Don't enable her, those jokes were awful," a highly unimpressed Weiss sat with her arms and legs crossed.

"Weiss!" Ruby whined.

"She needs to know!"

"Yeah well I'd like to see Vomit-Boy do better." Yang indignantly crossed her arms.

"Huh. I didn't know Jaune played the piano," Blake said.

"Wait, really?" Sure enough, Jaune was now onstage, doing last minute adjustments and setting up a microphone on top of the keyboard they had on stage.

"Ooooh, Jaune's gonna sing! HEY EVERYONE! THAT'S MY LEADER!" Nora shouted for the room to hear. No one else acknowledged her, but frankly, they needed to know anyway.

"I didn't know he played piano either. This is a nice surprise," Ren remarked as he settled in his seat, looking forward to the show.

"Yay! Go Jaune!" Pyrrha said only loud enough for their tables to hear in her polite, motherly way. Nonetheless, her excitement was real as Nora's.

"He better not be doing what I think he's doing. If he starts singing some corny love song about me, I'm leaving," Weiss said.

"I'm still recording and showing it to you later anyway," Yang held up her scroll and fiddled with the settings for a moment. "Aaand, there!"

Jaune made a show of cracking his fingers and shaking them off, before he began the short intro to his song, a jazzy, jovial and playful riff.

"Oh wow, he can play!" Yang was pleasantly surprised among a smattering of light cheers as she focused her camera. Pyrrha, Nora and Ruby all cheered the loudest of them.

"~If you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight,

You got all the makings, of my future-ex-wife.

I got three bucks, my credit sucks, and my future don't look too bright,

If you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight.~"

Light cheers and whistles filled the air. "Should've known it would be self-deprecating," Blake commented.

"Still pretty good though," Neptune said, pleasantly surprised that it didn't look like he would have suffer his way through it like the last performance. Yang was probably great in other ways, as he didn't know her very well, but she is just not funny.

"Oh Gods, it is a love song!" Weiss said. "But at least it has some self-awareness."

"~Some call me a loser, a lazy no good slob.

I lost my house, I got no car. I can't keep a job.~"

Pyrrha listened with rapt attention, conflicted. "I love when he plays and sings, but I really wish he would stop putting himself down.

"~But I got a big heart, and another part. Take me hooome you'll understand,~"

Weiss' ears perked. "What did he say?"

"~Because my genitalia, looks liiike a Pringles can~!"

"Jaune!?" Yang yelled into her scroll. Weiss and Pyrrha's jaws dropped, but Ruby and team SSSN burst into surprised laughter.

"YEEAAH! WOO!" Nora shouted and led the crowd in applause. Ren was content to laugh quietly and join in the applause.

Jaune, emboldened by the applause and more comfortable on stage, sang louder and skillfully embellished on the piano.

"~If you play your cards wrong, you take me home tonight.

When I pull my pants down, hey, you won't believe I'm white!~"

He let out a chuckle of his own while the audience hooted and hollered at the joke. Yang struggled to hold her scroll steady. "Oh my God, that's hilarious!"

Blake smirked. "I never knew he had it in him."

Meanwhile, team CFVY sat at another table a bit farther away, to support Velvet. "I bet Velvet is blushing up a storm back there right now! This'll be a tough act to follow," Coco swirled a finger around her glass, greatly amused.

"She may need some help after this. Let's cheer for her extra loudly," Yatsuhashi gave a dramatic thumbs up.

Fox sipped from his drink, pointing his ear toward the stage and rather enjoying himself. He laughed the most of any of them. "Our underclassmen are something else."

"~It's been said that I'm Mr. Ed, but don't worry I won't bite.

If you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight!

Some call me dishonest, and they say I'm just a-lyin',

But I peed next to old Hei Xiong and, he staaaarted cryin'~!"

"PFFT- Hahaha!" Yang finally dropped her scroll and held her belly as she cracked up.

"~On a sunny day, I got it made,

Get under my wiener if-a you need shaaade.~"

Team SSSN smacked their table and leaned on each other laughing their asses off. Poor Ruby fell on the ground and tears were forming in her eyes. "Can't breathe! Haaahaha!"

"BIG FINISH!" Jaune shouted at the height of his performance.

"~If you play your cards wrooong, you can me hooome toniiight!~"

He finished off with an impressive flourish, and than stood abruptly, shooting his arms in the air. "Yeah!"

The loudest cheers and claps of the night fill the air, along with calling out of his name and wolf-whistles. Not from Pyrrha though, who was still slack-jawed.

"I can not believe what I just heard." Weiss said in a scandalized tone, and for once, Pyrrha could agree. She noticed Yang stand up all the sudden, not taking her eye off of Jaune. "Where are you going? Aren't you gonna help your sister?"

She pointed at Ruby, who was still on the ground and couldn't gain composure. "Oh my God, my face hurts! Hehehehe!"

"I'm gonna go see if I can't find out how true his song is!" Yang told her.

"You and me both, sister!" Scarlet got up from his table as well.

Pyrrha snapped out of her stupor. "Hey, that's my partner!"

"Nobody said you can't come with."

"You both leave him alone!" Pyrrha too arose from her seat to follow them.

"Lemme know what you find out!" Blake shouted from the table, content to stay right where she was.

"Well, I'm glad that's over," Weiss went back to crossing her arms and looked forward to the rest of the show.

Meanwhile Nora was trying to rile the crowd up. "ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!" Ren only sat and politely clapped along with a big smile on his face, oddly proud of his leader.

(A/N) -

Song is If You Play Your Cards Wrong by Rodney Carrington