AN: I'm thinking of uploading more of the Dukakis Chronicles here! R&R please!
*the simpsons theme song instrumental is playing in the background*
DU-KA-KIS da-da duh duh duh duh-da da-dadadada
[FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE MICHAEL DUKAKIS is seen in a CLASSROOM surrounded by DESKS and a green BLACKKBOARD. On the BLACKBOARD, "I will not use racial slurs" is written seventeen times in chalk.]
[At the Springfield nuclear power plant, DAVID HASSELHOFF sits at a desk and angrily chews on a stapler. On the desks are papers labeled TOP SECRET BODYSNATCHER PROGRAM. His face begins disintegrating until it is revealed it was not David Hasselhoff at all, but rather former Evanescence singer AMY LEE. She yells "CURSES!" and begins rotating at ALARMING SPEEDS.]
[ENTER KALEB]
MARGE SIMPSON: Wow you`re really sexy cutie! I bet you`re packing a healthy bongalong in there :)
KALEB OF SAND: I guess I`m just great with the laydess Marge. Whatever happened to that dork homer?
MARGE SIMPSON: Ohhh forget Homey. Why don`t we go lie in ze bed, ey?
[OUTSIDE, on the streets of CENTRAL SPRINGFIELD, a disheveled and angry HOMER SIMPSON is reading a Jack Chick tract.]
HOMER: D`oh, how did I let the evil Christians influence Bart? Bart was supposed to be a healthy Islamic family and now he is subject to the influence of Iblis! O Allah (pbuh), what have I done to deserve this Kaleb who cucks me so?
[RE-ENTER KALEB, WHO IS EXPLAINING HIS THEORY OF PHYSICS TO MARGE]
KALEB: Yeah so anyways I dropped out of community college because the physics professors are actually in a conspiracy to disguise their attempts to hide realitywith incomprehensible mathematics. Newton was a big fucking phony.
MARGE SIMPSON: Wow hon i like ur nips :)