Disclaimer: based on JK Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", Chapter "The Goblin's Revenge"
The International Wizarding School Competition
Durmstrang: Discovering the truth
Write about an event or incident with two versions of the truth: The benefit of the doubt
Mandatory prompt: 6. [First/last line] It was 11 o'clock when time stopped.
Additional prompt: 14. [Song] "Moral of the Story" by Ashe
Year: 3
A/N: It's a more nuanced interpretation of the theme, as Hermione is realizing the truth behind past events.
Canon compliant; two sentences used from JK Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - "The Goblin's Revenge"
Betas: Claude Amelia Song, DebaterMax, Katie Alden
Word count: 2962
STOPPAGE OF TIME
...
It was 11 o'clock when time stopped.
It had been a simple argument. It shouldn't have ended like it did.
"Are you staying, or what?" His question was still echoing in her ears even now. It was his last question to her and, like the sand in an hourglass, their time together had run out.
Are you staying, or what?
Hermione's fists clenched and she stared out into the darkness.
Ever since she answered that question the time seemed to stand still. For all she knew, it was still 11 o'clock at night and the whole thing had just happened.
"I get it. You choose him," his voice in her head reminded her of her response then.
It was as if the question he had asked had been something as simple as choosing milk or sugar for tea…
He sounded so calm.
Like he hadn't just asked her to choose between staying with Harry and hunting Horcruxes or leaving with Ron.
Are you staying, or what?
Hermione's fists clenched until she felt blood running down her hands.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Hermione didn't think time moved since he left. If it did, the blood running down her hands might have dripped from them like the second hand on the clock was moving – steadily and unstoppable. When she opened her fists unwillingly, four crescent moons made out of blood graced both of her palms. She looked away from them and back into the night; her eyes were full of tears but unwilling to shed them.
She couldn't believe it.
This… this couldn't have happened. He couldn't have just upped and left her!
He couldn't have left them!
"He's coming back," Harry told her, but he sounded subdued. "He always came back before."
Hermione said nothing.
"Hermione," Harry said and reached for her shoulder to squeeze it. "He's coming back, believe me."
He didn't sound as if he fully believed it himself, but Hermione was kind enough not to point it out.
"Of course, he is," she said. Her hand reached for Harry's on her shoulder while she disregarded her own belief to soothe her friend. "He always did, after all."
But that also meant that he always left them as well.
And… it hurt.
Ron…
No, she couldn't and didn't want to think of his name.
He would come back.
He had to.
"He came back in fourth year after the dragons," she reminded herself.
Given, he had been a right prat even after he had come back, but he had come back.
"And he came back after the whole broom incident in third year as well," she added mentally. "Just like he came back for me in first year when he insulted me…"
But in first year he had come and saved her from the troll because of Harry and in third year he had come back after Harry had forgiven her. In fourth year he had come back for Harry and now… she wasn't sure if he would come back for them when he thought she had chosen Harry over him.
Not to mention that it had never been her he came back for.
That thought seemed to break through the stillness of time around her.
Even when they had squabbled over Crookshanks and Scabbers in third year, Ron hadn't apologized. He just started to act like before they found out that Scabbers had been Pettigrew…
Time was arrested once more when Hermione comprehended that.
"Hermione," Harry said and when she looked at him, she could clearly see the concern in his eyes.
He searched her face and then he closed his eyes as if he was pained by what he saw there.
"You think he's gone for good this time, don't you?" He asked her, resigned.
Hermione would have believed he thought the same if it wasn't for the fact that she knew Harry needed to believe differently. Unlike her, Harry always had been willing to see the best in those he was loyal to – and his loyalty to Ron was without question.
"I think this time around, the reason he came back before might not be enough," she countered Harry's question calmly. Her cheeks were dry but her eyes were still full of tears.
She cried when Ron left, she would cry no more. He was gone and she feared he was gone for good – no reason to cry over spilled milk.
Not that 'spilled milk' encompassed her feelings in any way or form…
"The Horcrux was influencing him," Harry said and Hermione wasn't sure at that moment if he was reminding her or himself. "The moment it loses its influence over him, he will come back."
He clearly tried to sound sure - but his voice was shaking. He also didn't dare to look into her eyes.
"Sure," Hermione thought, wanting to agree. She knew Harry needed to believe it just like she knew that sometimes in the future the night would yield to the upcoming day.
She wanted to dismiss what she felt and Harry hadn't said but… No. She wouldn't go there.
Ron had been their friend for years now! He had been their friend and he helped them on more than one occasion in all the dangerous situations they ended up in!
"That doesn't make it right," she thought grimly. "It makes it worse."
Just like he didn't believe Harry in fourth year when Harry's name came out of the Goblet. Hermione clenched her fists – again – at the thought.
Her fingernails were digging into the wounds already there did hurt, but for a moment she felt fury – not grief.
Back then, he dared to go against Harry despite him likely knowing better than that! "Just like he went against me in third year, even if my fears were reasonable," Hermione thought darkly. "The broom could have been cursed by Sirius for all we knew!"
Just like he showed his disregard for her in first year when he insulted her after she helped him.
"He came for me back then," she reminded herself. "Mistakes happen and he did make up for it."
But he never really apologized after the troll… and in third year he never apologized for Crookshanks or the broom.
"He was a prat, a kid," she reminded herself. "He grew up."
And yet, he left her.
The comprehension hit her like the chime of a clock; it was underlining and punctuating her words.
She ripped herself free of Harry's grip and rushed out of the tent.
"Hermione!" Harry called after her and followed her out into the rain. "Stop! You said it yourself, he Disapparated!"
But she didn't listen.
She didn't want to listen to reason right now.
Her feet carried her away from the tent.
The rain came down hard on her and she shivered as her already wet clothing was once again soaked.
"Hermione!"
She ignored her best friend for a second time that night and ran.
Ron was gone.
Ron left.
Just like he had left them previously.
Some mistakes got made in the past, Hermione had to admit, but…
"That's alright," she thought. "That's okay. It's absolutely okay… as long as…"
But he was gone and hadn't returned.
He Disapparated some time ago, he should have returned if he meant it.
"It was the Horcrux," she tried to tell herself just as Harry told her before. "It was the Horcrux talking! He didn't mean it. He was just…"
Are you staying, or what?
His voice in her mind sounded sardonic this time around.
Are you staying, or what?
Her feet slowed. Her wild run through the woods stopped.
She looked up to the rainy, dark sky and the fury returned when she finally understood the choice he had forced her to make.
She made that choice before she understood what he was asking of her and ever since then time seemed to stop around her.
It suddenly seemed so utterly pointless.
All their squabbling, all their fights…
Even their hunt for the Horcruxes to stop Voldemort as fast as possible seemed to be pointless since the moment he left and time jerked to a stand still.
Ever since then her thoughts were centred on Ron and now that he was gone…
She had been hurting and sad – but she hadn't understood what kind of choice he forced her to make when he left.
It looked easy if you fleetingly looked at it, translating to a choice between Harry or him.
But it wasn't…
And suddenly instead of grieving, she was furious at Ron.
"Yes, I'm staying," she told the night, her voice strong and full of contempt. "Ron, we promised to go with Harry! We promised to fight with him! And you! You broke your promise! And because of what?! Because of what?!"
Because of a Horcrux and mental manipulation.
Because of jealousy.
"Envy," she corrected herself with a furious growl. "He always was envious of Harry!"
Ron wanted to be the orphan with the gold in his vault and the so-called pleasure of being famous.
"I thought you grew up!" She screamed into the night. "I thought you matured! But you're still that boy who was envious enough to ignore his best friend when Harry's name came out of the Goblet of Fire!"
Her eyes were fixed on the night sky and the rain fell onto her face, hiding any tear that might have spilled.
"You… you… I thought you got better! I thought you were our friend? My friend! I thought I was important to you!"
But she wasn't.
And she had never been.
She always was 'the other one' for Ron.
He hadn't come for her when they were eleven.
He came for Harry.
He hadn't seen her side when they were in third year, hadn't given her even the benefit of the doubt.
And he dared to be a prat to her on top of ignoring Harry in fourth year – no matter how much she tried to keep them together.
And now…
Now he had left with just a scant thought spent on her!
"He asked me to come with him," she reminded herself.
Are you staying, or what?
"But he didn't think of me enough to give me more than the right to choose for or against him," she thought grimly. "Harry or him. That was his choice. He asked me to break my promise, he asked me to choose him or the war, he asked me to choose him or the world – and he expected me to choose HIM!"
As if she would have ever been able to choose him with everything that was at stake!
It felt like a bell's toll going through and through when she finally understood what he asked her to do – and how he had asked her.
"That's the moral of the story," she thought half-furious, half back to grieving. "Never love a prat. You only gain pain from it!"
Her fingernails scrapped over the still open wounds in her palms.
"He's gone," she thought, her eyes closing and her face bathed in the rain. "He's gone and he won't come back."
Not this time around.
Not to or for her.
He never came back to her before, after all.
And this time around he had no reason to return to Harry as well…
"And I'm not sure if I would take him back if he came," she thought furiously.
One of her hands came up and she rubbed the rain from her face.
"It's better like that," she said aloud. "It's better if he doesn't return."
Some mistakes were made, but sometimes there is one too many.
Maybe, they finally reached one mistake too many…
"It's better like that. It's better." she repeated to herself.
She opened her eyes and looked into the sky above her.
The dark clouds on the even darker sky looked threatening and gloomy.
She lowered her head and looked around.
The woods looked as dark and threatening as the sky.
For a moment, she just stood there and tried to ignore the fact that some rain was hotter on her cheeks than it had any right to be, then she turned around decisively and walked back to the tent.
Harry was waiting for her.
He stood at the tent's entrance and was looking into the darkness with concern.
When she stepped up, a relieved smile graced his face and for a moment she felt guilty for leaving him and making him wonder if she would desert him as well.
She returned the smile, even if hers wasn't cheerful at all and stepped up to him to hug him.
"I'm sorry for making you worry," she said.
"That's okay," Harry said calmly, his arms closing around her, not caring he was getting wet.
Something settled in her as soon as he returned the embrace.
"That's okay, Hermione," Harry repeated. "I understand. Ron… You're in love with him. You have a right to be sad after the way he left."
"He won't return," she said, her voice steady and she buried her face in Harry's shoulder. "He won't return. Not today; not tomorrow."
"He was influenced by the Horcrux," Harry reminded her calmly. "And he always returned before."
"Not to me," Hermione pointed out calmly. "And not for me."
And when Harry loosened his grip to look at her with a question in his eyes, she elaborated.
"He came back to you or because of you," she said calmly. "But he never came back to me or for me. It was always you. Me? I'm not important enough for him."
"He loves you," Harry said.
"He might," Hermione agreed, not looking at him when she freed herself from his embrace. "But that's not enough. That has never been enough for him. It's always been you he returned for. Now… he wasn't willing to even think about staying for me…"
"He asked you to go with him," Harry pointed out confused.
Are you staying, or what?
"No," Hermione said. "He asked me if I was staying, that's a difference."
Harry frowned but Hermione just smiled sadly.
"He decided without me," she told him calmly. "And the only decision he left for me was if I was staying or not. He didn't even have the decency to ask me to come with him. He just asked me if I would stay."
"Hermione, I'm sure he loves you. He just…"
"No, Harry," she looked at him calmly. "It's okay. You're most likely right and he loves me. Just like you might be right and he was influenced by the Horcrux… but… he left. No matter what, he left."
"But not out of his free will," Harry said.
There was that imperturbable hope in his voice that Hermione wished she would feel as well. "He never would have left without the Horcrux's influence."
"Evidence says the contrary", Hermione thought; she wasn't willing to say that, not when Harry needed hope and he was so certain that the Horcrux was at fault for Ron's behaviour.
But… evidence said the contrary – and there was plenty of evidence to be found… and even more if Hermione looked at Ron's behaviour towards herself.
He had left them both, more times than once. He had shown that he couldn't be trusted to stay.
And yet…
"The benefit of doubt," she said to herself. "That's the only thing I can grant him now."
Because no matter what he had done in the past, the Horcrux could have influenced him in this decision. She wasn't fully sure if it was just the Horcrux that spoke through Ron's mouth; she wouldn't deny that it most likely had had an influence on him, no matter how big or small.
And Hermione was tired of being sad and angry…
"I know the Horcrux was affecting him," she agreed with Harry, forcing back all doubts into the back of her mind.
Her declaration freed Harry like the toll of a school bell after a particularly difficult exam. His posture relaxed at her agreement as if he had needed it to fully believe the words he said.
Hermione forced herself to ignore the doubts she held. She knew Harry might have been right that the Horcrux had been at fault… it didn't change a thing about Hermione's understanding of Ron.
Horcrux or not, she wasn't sure being influenced was enough to explain Ron's behaviour.
She wasn't sure if he wouldn't have left anyway.
But Harry… he needed to believe in Ron. While Hermione didn't after what happened today, nonetheless, she wasn't willing to break her best friend's heart by telling him the truth.
Her gaze returned towards the tent entrance.
It was dark and rainy out there, but they were alone.
Once, Ron had been a friend.
A sometimes envious and not always really good friend, but a friend nevertheless.
Harry still believed in that friend and while Hermione wasn't sure she was willing to do the same, maybe Harry was right.
The Horcrux had influenced all of them, maybe it had influenced Ron more…
No matter that he had left them before. No matter that she wasn't sure if he wouldn't have left them anyway….
"The benefit of the doubt," she reminded herself. "That's the least I can do for him."
Because they were friends long before Hermione had started to feel more for him. Her feelings for him didn't matter in this. Giving him the benefit of the doubt was something she could do for a friend. Anything else, she would have to decide when she saw him again.
It had been 11 o'clock when time stopped and it was way after midnight when it finally resumed its pace.
.
Well, my take of Ron leaving. I hope you liked it.
Ebenbild