She smoothed the laundry when the bells rang out. Pausing in her movement, Elisabeth looked up from the clothesline. With every tall man, when the signal is sounded, Elisabeth's heart carries out a moment of loss, and it is herself whether her concerns become a certainty.
With an oppressive feeling, Elisabeth hung the last clothe on the line and picked up the woven basket.
"Before you see it, the two weeks will be over." The old kitchen maid Victoria came out into the back yard. "I very much hope that there aren't many dead to mourn."
Elisabeth just nodded silently before going back to Victoria in the kitchen.
"Oh, child." The older woman one followed Elisabeth. "You always want to get distracted with work as soon as they come back. Wouldn't you prefer to pursue your concern?"
"Why? If I act like the onlookers civilians, it won't help anyone. It doesn't take away the grief of their fallen comrades from the soldiers, Victoria."
"But it takes away your fear whether the commandant has come back safely."
"Every human life is precious. No matter what position."
Victoria sighed heavily and sat down at the table to cut the potatoes.
"You hardly ever leave the kitchen, Elisabeth. You are free to leave the headquarters, even if you work here."
"I see no reason to." The young woman found such conversations uncomfortable. She didn't feel like going to the marketplace or walking around unnecessarily in the headquarters of the survey squad. Everyone in this building had their duties and responsibilities. They did their best every day. It was and should stay that way. Elisabeth did not want to be among people who had a lot more to do than hold a conversation with a simple kitchen maid.
She was content to have a room in the headquarters. Elisabeth's tasks in the kitchen were also sufficient. In contrast to her previous duties, she was grateful to her current one. It was simple and yet functional. This little thing gave her a form of security that she had never known before.
"If you just listen to an old woman's talk, you lose your connection with other people, child. Go out among the people! Try to talk when you bring the food to the dining room."
Elisabeth pressed her lips together." I hardly think that I would be an interesting conversation partner, Victoria."
"Do you think the soldiers talk about the atrocities outside the walls on a tour? They too try to dispel their thoughts with trivialities. Even the chatter of a simple kitchen maid is a distraction."
"The conversations I have with you are enough for me."
Victoria snorted and pushed the sliced potatoes into the saucepan. "I give up. You should live more consciously. Get to know a man and get married."
Elisabeth swallowed hard as she began to cut the herbs for the potato soup. Hardly a man would take her, she thought to herself and looked at her wrists. Even if the fabric of her dress obscured the signs, they were omnipresent. Everyone understood these brand marks that encircled her wrists like a snake.
"The department head Zoe really seems to want to bond with you, Elisabeth. Just let yourself go."
"Department head Hanji Zoe seems really nice. But she seems to want to make friends with everyone. Yet she has so much to do with her reports on the Titan experiments."
Victoria served the reconnaissance troops as a kitchen maid for a long time. But she had never had an assistant who was so withdrawn. Many young cooks envied the post - not least because the soldiers were easy to look at during training - but Elisabeth avoided any contact when it was not absolutely necessary.
"Surely it wasn't in the commandant's sense that you just hang around in the kitchen or take care of the laundry, child," sighed Victoria.
"I'll check on the horses", said Elisabeth, to avoid the subject. The old kitchen maid just nodded silently while Elisabeth took the bin with the vegetable waste and went out to the back yard.
The young woman appreciated Victoria's words. However, she couldn't jump over her shadow. Interactions with people were still uncomfortable for Elisabeth. Although she had been employed at the headquarters for three months now.
When she got to the horse stables, she sighed heavily.
Because basically Elisabeth knew that she couldn't keep away from conversations forever. Thoughtfully, she began to distribute the vegetables to the horses. A feeling of relief spread in her chest as she realized that all the horses had returned with their riders.
Except for the last box. The black stallion who lived in it wasn't there. Elisabeth's expression twisted. Before she could finish the terrible thought, the sound of footsteps made her look up. At the same time her whole body tensed up when she recognized the corporal, leading his horse close behind her.
Strands of his black hair fell into his field of vision and his clothes were dirty and torn in some places.
With stiff limbs, Elisabeth reluctantly moved away from the box. Without the corporal saying anything, he led his black stallion into this and closed the gate.
"What you have there?"
Elisabeth felt a shiver when she realized that the corporal was talking to her and pointed to the bucket in her hands. Totally insecure, she looked down.
The person Elisabeth wanted least to communicate with stepped closer to her and looked into the bucket.
"I thought you were in charge of the kitchen. The soldiers take care of their horses themselves", he said coolly, and looked at Elisabeth for a brief moment. For her, however, it felt like an eternity. His eyes seemed to be gazing inside her. The cold gray of his soul mirror made Elisabeth's limbs noticeably tremble.
"Sorry", she whispered, and briefly closed her eyes. Her body unconsciously carried out a trained reaction.
"Why are you apologizing? I only noted it and made no accusation. Perhaps you're better off in the kitchen", said the corporal, taking the bucket out of Elisabeth's hands. Immediately the black stallion stretched his head forward expectantly and took half a carrot from the hand of the corporal.
"You are right, sir", the young woman commented Levis previous statement.
This turned his head to her and twisted the corners of his mouth. "Do you say yes and amen to every comment? If you think it necessary to pay your attention to the animals, nobody will forbid you."
His right hand stroked the stallion's snout. "I can't blame you. Because animals do not judge."
An uncomfortable silence spread. Without a further word, Corporal returned the bucket to Elisabeth. Then he walked past her towards headquarters.
Elisabeth's posture relaxed immediately and she felt as if she could breathe again. While she was only uncomfortable meeting the soldiers of the reconnaissance troop, she felt a fear of the corporal. His cool manner and the piercing expression of his eyes reminded her again and again of what she wanted to forget. It took Elisabeth a few minutes to collect herself before returning to the kitchen.