Passah

Germany, April 1944

''Sir, is it a good idea to do that? After all it is Nazi Germany and who is crazy enough to hold a Passover Seder in the Third Reich?'' Greenberg was shaking his head in bewilderment.

''I am.'' Robert E. Hogan was grinning. And that meant some shenanigans.

''Matzo in the middle of the Reich? Next thing you know Carter has a live dodo bird as a pet. That flew away from the Hammelburg Zoo.'' Kinch was incredulous.

''I wouldn't mind having a pet dodo bird, what do they look like exactly? It would be a great friend along with Felix and Hasenpfeffer.'' Carter replied earnestly.

''Andre, the dodo has not been seen alive since the 1600s. Now out of my way, the cream of potato soup on the stove is burning!'' LeBeau scurried off.

''We could have a better chance of finding Nessie in the Rhine than any of that lot we need, Governer,'' replied Newkirk.

''Greenberg, how many Jewish prisoners do we have here? That you know of.'' The Colonel was curious.

''Newkirk went through the camp records that one time. There are 15 including myself. Took out all references to our religion and made all of us Aryans. Honorary of course. The camp administration probably thinks most of us are German-American or ethnic Germans from Poland originally based off our last names. If my parents back in the Bronx only knew!''

If only Greenberg knew how much coffee, nylons, chocolate, and perfume I had to give Hilda in exchange for letting Newkirk alter those files, thought Hogan.

''Kinch and LeBeau defaced our dog tags. With chemicals from Carter. And etched things so we're all Catholics or Protestants. The boys who have Polish sounding names possibly from Silesia or Pomerania are Catholic. And the rest of us 'Germans' are Lutheran of course.''

''15, good. And with the rest of us attending even though we're Gentile, that will be a total of 30. No objections?" asked Colonel Hogan.

"All are welcome in the eyes of God," replied Greenberg.

"We'll have the Seder in Barracks 2 Saturday night after sundown.'' grinned Hogan.

''What sir? If Klink or the guards come in, we'll all be dead. Both Jews and Gentiles. The tunnel will be a safer place.''

''Don't worry. We are having it in the barracks. And that's an order!'' Hogan was insistent. ''We don't have any fanatical guards here. All of them are enjoying spring in Russia.''

''And besides, Klink won't do anything. He's more of an old fashioned German than a Nazi. He knows there are Jewish prisoners. And treats everybody equally. Equally badly with the sawdust bread, watery soup, and whatever moldy potatoes we get for dinner.''

Our Colonel continued...

''About a third of the guards will be on leave over the weekend. No worries. The ones on duty will be drunk as skunks. I'm taking the extra precaution of adding lots of schnapps to the guard's water supply this Saturday.''

''We celebrate Easter and Christmas here. But never any of the Jewish holidays. I don't want any of my men left out. Besides old Schultzie might enjoy eating something he has never had before. Don't worry, you noticed we have been cleaning the Presidential Suite of the Adolf Hitler Biltmore recently? No yeast or leavened bread. Why do you think we've been eating just potatoes the last week?''

''Our wig maker Private Nanowski-he's baking the unleavened bread. An old family recipe. He does beautiful work.''

Greenberg was shaking his head. This was getting interesting.

''Schultz took LeBeau shopping this week. Got herbs, apples, walnuts, and roots from Max the grocer. As well as a separate set of cookware, utensils, and cups.''

''Kinch was on the radio to London. They were wondering. Like that time we asked Garlotti's father for the pizza recipe. But they figured it out. The supply plane is doing a special drop tonight. Kosher wine, copies of the Haggadah in Hebrew, and other items needed for the dinner.''

''We even found a rabbi who's a chaplain at my old airbase now. I had him transliterate the prayers so those who don't read Hebrew can say them.''

''Schnitzer got us lamb shanks, eggs, and blood from the local farmers. He knew the reason. One of his friends from veterinary school was Jewish. And lost his practice before the war. Schnitzer bought out his friend's practice at fair market price.''

''What happened to Schnitzer's friend sir?'' inquired Greenberg.

''His friend went to Warsaw in 1938 to join family...and after that.'' Hogan shuddered.

''The dinner will be great, Greenberg. Just you wait and see. LeBeau will make the Seder taste like a gourmet creation. Even though it's not supposed to be. I know, since my roommate and best friend at the Academy is Jewish. Taught me a lot about his family traditions.''

Greenberg took a while to 'digest' the Colonel's plans. And began to smile. What better way of giving the Nazis a black eye? With Colonel Robert Hogan starring as Moses of course.